by Eric Vall
Ukobach let out a roar of pain, but he didn’t keel over like I had expected. Instead, he reached back and tried to pull me off his back.
Thankfully, Ira’s sub was quick on the draw with her whip, and she caught the demon’s massive paw before it could pluck me off his body. At the same time, Ira’s dom slammed her morning star into the son of a bitch’s leg.
Ukobach collapsed down onto one knee, but the blow didn’t seem to be critical. I used this opportunity to hop off the bastard’s body and reorient myself.
“Eat this, asshole,” Gula growled and slammed her battle axe directly into Ukobach’s chest. The demon let out a gasp of surprise, but he still didn’t fall.
“What the fuck?” the curvy redhead demanded.
“You’ll find that my skin is quite thick, I’m afraid,” Ukobach said devilishly. “Impenetrable like armor, you might say.”
“My morning star is stuck!” the dom grunted as she tugged at the hilt of her weapon.
“My axe too!” Gula said in a panic.
Ukobach cackled, twisted his body, and then struck Gula and Ira’s halves with a massive backhand. The bodies of the three succubi flew through the sky and only halted when Cupi caught them with a flash of blue Hellfire.
The sight of my friends getting hurt by this fucker burned at my very core. I felt a massive throbbing at my temples, and I knew my horns were sprouting.
Shit was about to get real for this asshole.
“So it is true,” Ukobach mocked. “The mortal poser found a way to look like us, too.”
“The only poser I see around here is you,” I warned as the Divine light began to engulf my body.
Before I could make a move, a large steel pipe stabbed through the demon’s chest from behind. The pipe stuck into the ground and pinned Ukobach down as he flailed and tried to pry himself loose.
“All armor is penetrable,” Libidine said smugly from across the room. “Light him up, Jacob!”
I clapped my palms together and channeled all of the Divine energy flowing through my body into my hands. It charged for a second, and then I unleashed it directly into the demon’s chest. Ukobach screamed as the light struck him in the chest and filled the room like a flash grenade. I held the attack for what seemed like forever, released, and then nearly fell back in shock.
The demon was still standing.
“Impressive,” he mused weakly as he pulled himself to his feet. “I see that the rumors of your heritage were true, as well.”
I didn’t know what this fucker was talking about, and frankly, I didn’t care. I blasted him again with the Divine light, but it did little more than knock him down on his ass.
“I got you, Jakey!” Todd exclaimed.
I looked over and saw the imp was standing on top of another huge steel pipe. It was aglow with Libidine’s emerald Hellfire, and Todd was balancing on top with his finger outstretched.
“Charge!” he ordered, and Libidine sent the makeshift missile hurtling toward Ukobach.
The demon turned around and caught the pipe in midair. Without slowing its momentum, he swung it around and smashed it directly into the side of my body.
There was a wet crack, and then I was tossed into the air. I felt myself smash into the cinder block wall, and then I collapsed to the ground. My body felt like it was on fire, and every time I took a breath there was a shooting pain that ran along the side of my torso. Something was definitely broken.
But I was still running on pure adrenaline. This asshole was tough, but I wasn’t going to let him kill my friends. I weakly stood to my feet and nursed my side. Across the room, Cupi and Todd were trying to engage with Ukobach hand-to-hand while Tris and Liby were attacking from afar. It was an image that both inspired me and made me sick to my core.
Even when things looked hopeless, even though it seemed like we couldn’t win this one, my friends still continued to fight on. For me.
I owed them better than this.
I closed my eyes and thought about everything that was at stake. I didn’t know much about Beelzebub, but if what Cupi and Liby had told me was true, he was even worse than Azazel. If his minion won here today, that was it. The armies of the Divine would fall, the human race would be wiped out, and, most importantly, all of my friends would either be killed or sent back to Hell with a cruel new master.
I sure as fuck wasn’t going to let that happen.
Suddenly, my entire soul felt warm. Maybe it was just the shock from the wounds, or maybe it was the Divine energy that coursed through my body. Either way, I got my second wind, and then my horns grew even longer as the area around me glowed brighter and brighter with Divine light.
There was only one way I could end this. With a big boom.
“Cupi, Liby, Tris!” I called out to the succubi. “We need to get clear and go up!”
Cupi dodged out of the way of Ukobach’s blow, sprouted her wings, and then flew over to the unconscious halves of Ira. The succubus then looked up, blasted a massive hole in the roof, and grabbed the Sisters of Wrath in her arms.
At the same time, Tris’ wings sprang forth, and she grabbed Gula.
Libidine and Todd were the last to disengage from Ukobach. The imp hopped onto the curvy succubus’ back, and then the two of them were over behind me in a flash.
Liby wrapped her arms underneath my pits and lifted me into the air. Instantly, my entire body screamed in agony, and I had to fight to keep myself from passing out from the pain.
The succubus carried me up through the hole in the ceiling and into the night sky.
“Is the noble Jacob Ralston running away?” I heard Ukobach taunt as we flew upward.
“You fucking wish,” I muttered under my breath. “Guys, I need--”
“I’m familiar with how your God Cannon works, Jakey,” Todd reassured. “You heard the man! Give him your energy!”
I summoned the white light of the Divine to my hands and then closed my eyes. Instantly, I felt the power from all of my friends coursing through my veins. I let their power flow through me for a moment, and then I opened my eyes and looked down at Ukobach.
“Dodge this,” I growled as I unleashed a beam of blinding light that must have been triple the size of my entire body.
The beam struck the top of the old church and punched a massive hole into the ceiling. There was a brilliant flash, and the next thing I knew, the entire building was shimmering with Divine luminescence. Before our eyes, the brick structure started to evaporate, hopefully along with the demon inside of it.
I continued to hold the blast for as long as my body would allow it, and then I released the spell.
“Holy fuck,” Cupi mused.
Below us, where the old church had been, was nothing more than a smoldering crater.
“Did he just--did Jacob just level an entire building?” Tris gasped.
“Yes he did,” Libidine said perkily. “He’s quite impressive, isn’t he?”
I felt Todd’s tiny hand patting me on the head. “That was the coolest shit I’ve ever seen, bro,” the imp exclaimed. “You gotta do that more often!”
I couldn’t even respond to my friend. I was completely drained, and my body was screaming in agony. All I could do was stare down at my work and savor the victory. Somehow, some way, we’d done it again.
The world was safe, at least for one more day.
I closed my eyes, and the next thing I knew, the world turned to black.
Chapter 23
Bacon.
When I finally came to, there was the distinct smell of bacon in the air. I opened my eyes and saw I was now back in my room at Quinn’s old mansion, safely tucked into the king-sized bed. Most importantly, my body no longer felt like I had been hit by a freight train. I threw back the covers and looked down at where I’d been hit by Ukobach. Instead of a black-and-blue mess of shattered flesh and bone, it looked completely healed.
Sia must have got to me before any permanent damage had been done.
I rolled o
ut of bed, tossed on some clothes, and then made my way toward the direction of the delicious aroma. When I finally got downstairs, I was greeted by the sound of a smoke alarm.
“Shitshitshitshitshit!” Todd’s voice panicked from the kitchen.
I walked into the living area and saw the imp was standing at the stove with a smoking fry pan in his hand.
“Aw, I’m sorry, Jakey!” The imp sighed when he saw me. “I was gonna surprise you with breakfast in bed, but as you can see, I’m no Guy Fieri. I do swear like Gordon Ramsey, though … ”
“It’s alright, Todd,” I promised. “It’s the thought that counts, and I really appreciate what you’re trying to do.”
“Here,” a voice suggested from the other room. “You should let me try.”
Gula stepped through the threshold of the kitchen wearing a tight red crop-top and a pair of booty shorts. The redhead waltzed over to the stove, grabbed some spices out of the cupboard above, and then placed them on the counter.
“I’ve been told I’m pretty good at cooking,” she explained.
“Hey, if you can do anything more than oatmeal and buttered toast, you’ve already got me beat.” Todd shrugged.
“What are you doing here?” I asked the succubus, not even trying to hide the surprise in my voice.
“We live here now,” another familiar voice mused from behind me.
I turned around and saw Tris’ brunette head peeking up from the leather couch. “I guess you have been out this whole time,” she admitted. “We denounced Azazel. We’re part of your little demon hunting club now.”
“Wow,” I mused. “I’m out for a few hours and suddenly our group has grown by two whole succubi.”
“After what you did for us, how could we not?” Gula said with surprising softness. “If it wasn’t for you, Todd, and our sisters, we both would be dead right now. We owe you a debt we can never repay, Jacob Ralston. Though I swear to you, I will try.”
“No need,” I reassured the redhead. “I’m just happy we finally have you on our side. You guys kicked ass back there at the church.”
“We kicked ass?” Tris joked. “You’re the one who took out an entire building with your spirit bomb thingy.”
“God Cannon,” Todd corrected. “I’m totally getting that trademarked.”
“Actually, that is a pretty badass name for it,” I admitted. “What do the others think about this?”
“We love it,” Cupi explained as she, Liby, and Ira entered the room. “It’s like we’re getting the entire gang back together.”
“Well, minus one,” Liby added.
“Invidia?” I asked.
The dark-haired succubus gave me a sad nod. “The Sister of Envy is the last piece of the puzzle when it comes to defeating Azazel. Also, I’m starting to miss her. Seeing the rest of my friends back together makes me yearn to have her back in the group.”
“We will save Invidia, Sister,” Cupi promised. “Even if we have to literally travel through Hell to do so.”
“You guys are so overdramatic,” a sly voice observed.
I flipped around and saw Aruna standing in the corner of the room, with her arms crossed, leaning against the wall. The assassin was wearing a casual green Kurti dress that perfectly matched her dark hair and eyes.
“How long have you been there?” I questioned the Rakshasi. “And how did you know where to find us?”
“I’m a bounty hunter, Jacob,” she cooed. “I’m just here to get my payment. After all, it looks like my information led to something important.”
I walked over to the kitchen drawer where I kept my checkbook and pulled out one of the small notes. “How much do I owe you? A couple thousand? A million?”
Aruna walked over to where I was standing and put her hand gently on top of mine. “Let’s say three hundred,” she suggested, “because I like you.”
“Uh-oh,” Todd whispered not-so-quietly. “Sounds like our group is about to get bigger.”
“Nonsense, imp,” Aruna purred. “I’m just willing to give a discount to those who satisfy certain … needs.”
I wrote out the check, tore it off, and then handed it to the bounty hunter.
“She’s talking about his dick,” Todd whispered to Gula, once again loud enough for everyone to hear. “Jacob has a big dick.”
Gula giggled back. “So I’ve heard.”
“No homo though,” Todd verified. “Talking about your bro’s dick doesn’t make you gay.”
“Suuurrrre,” Gula chuckled.
Aruna placed the check safely in her pocket and then produced a small card. She placed it in my hand, closed my fingers around it, and then looked me deeply in the eyes.
“It’s my card,” she explained. “Give me a call if you ever need me.”
“I’ll make sure I do.” I winked at the Rakshasi. “We could always use somebody as badass and sexy as you in our group.”
“Careful now,” Aruna said playfully. “You might just make me break my Rakshasa code. Farewell, Jacob Ralston. Hopefully, the next time we meet, we’ll be fighting for the same side.”
“I hope so too,” I nodded.
The bounty hunter turned and walked out of the room toward the main entrance of the mansion.
“Call me,” Ira sighed quietly as the front door slammed shut.
“Is it bad to be relieved that she didn’t charge us more?” I asked. “I know she’s the best of the best, but I also know we’re currently bleeding funds.”
“About that,” Cupi spoke up. “While you were out, we spoke with Jane, Oliver, and Sia.”
“Are they still here?” I asked hopefully.
The blonde succubus shook her head. “Unfortunately not,” she confessed. “We called Sia here when we saw how bad you were hurt, but she left shortly after she healed you. Jane and Oliver, we just spoke with them on the phone.”
“And?” I pushed. “What did they say? Is everything going alright?”
“More than alright!” Libidine interjected. “Sia says that, under her guidance, the Velvet Lips is becoming quite the powerhouse in the world of gentlemen’s clubs. It’s already starting to bring in a profit.”
“That’s great.” I grinned. “What about the cult? How are they handling their increased responsibilities?”
“Jane and Oliver are currently hot on the trail of one of the remaining Seventy-Two Servants,” Cupi explained. “They couldn’t be here in person, but they told me how excited they were now that the Cult of Beelzebub was in the fray.”
“Why the hell would they be excited about that?” I chuckled. “It’s another massive group of magic users that are going to try to kill us.”
“Because,” the fit succubus continued, “if we can somehow defeat Beelzebub, you will inherit all of his cultists. Oliver sounded like he was dripping wet just thinking about all the things we could do if we doubled our numbers.”
“That analogy,” Todd gasped. “I’m so proud of you, Cupi.”
“Did anything else happen while we were out trying to recruit these two?” I asked as I pointed to Tris and Gula. “It sounds like we’ve already missed quite a lot.”
“Oh!” Ira jumped up and down. “The first public polls came back for my election. I’m in the lead by five points!”
“That’s great, Ira,” I grinned. “Or should I call you ‘Maggie?’”
“Ira,” the succubus said with a roll of her eyes. “I really hate that fucking name, but it’s what Marvin decided to go with, so I guess I’m stuck with it. Our first debate is coming up here in a few weeks. That’s going to be the real challenge in winning over the hearts and minds of the public.”
“What about Raphael?” I said as I finished off my mental checklist. “Have we heard anything from him whatsoever?”
“No.” Liby frowned. “There’s been nothing but radio silence from the Divine.”
“It’s probably just because he hasn’t gotten a new phone yet.” Todd shrugged. “I kinda did a number on his Nokia.”
I felt Cupi’s slender hands on my back, and the succubus began to massage away. “It’s alright, my love,” she promised. “You now have six of Azazel’s seven succubi. The King of the Fourth Circle is weaker than he’s ever been, and now that there’s another demon out for his blood, he’s going to lay low.”
“Which means?” I asked.
“We don’t have to go to that place until you are ready,” she finished. “Trust me, you don’t want to try and go into the underworld unprepared.”
“Cupiditas is right,” Ira agreed. “A mortal going to Hell woefully unprepared is Lucifer’s bread and butter. He’d eat you up and spit you out before you even passed through the gates of the First Circle.”
“What do you suggest, then?” I rubbed my brow in frustration. “We can’t just leave Invidia down there, imprisoned by that asshole for all eternity. And we sure as fuck can’t let Azazel live. Until he dies, we’re all still in danger.”
“We need to build up your empire, Jacob,” Libidine spoke up. “You already have a large cult following and a succubus who is a genius in the business world. If all goes as planned, then soon you’ll have an insider in the government, as well.”
“I’m a good cook!” Gula added as she worked away at the stove.
“And I’ve got millions of incredible ideas floating around in this brain of mine,” Tris explained. “Sometimes it just takes a little bit of weed and a day of sleeping on the couch to get the juices flowing.”
“I like that one more and more every minute, bro,” Todd mused. “Also, I could build up a following with my podcast. That’d totally get you more influence in the world of the occult.”
