“Thank you, but I would’ve helped.”
“Like I said, it was the least I could do.” He’s now moved to my closet, digging around, and I hop off the bed to find my own pants.
Clyde's is a little mom and pop diner by Eden Square. I used to come here with my mom and dad when I was little, but I’ve only been here once since the divorce. We would always sit in the corner booth by the window and had the same waitress—a little old lady named, Betty—to wait on us. She always made sure I had extra whip on my pancakes. Then afterward we would drive down to the river to walk it off.
Happier and simpler times. Things I wish I still had.
“What’s wrong?” Colin asks after we’re handed our menus from the server.
“Nothing,” I lie and bury my head in the plastic menu, trying to figure out what I want.
“You know, just like this morning, I happen to know when you’re lying.” Colin pushes down my menu, making me look at him.
“However so?”
“You have a tell?”
“Which is?”
“I’m not telling. If you don’t know, I’m def not giving it away.” He smirks and lifts his menu to cover his face. But I can see his shoulders shaking, laughing at me. Ass.
“Whatever,” I mumble as the waiter comes over to take our order and drops off glasses of water. I take a sip of the refreshing cold liquid and Colin watches me intently. “Do you really want to know?”
“I do. Wouldn't have asked if I didn't give a shit, Abbs.”
“It’s just I used to come here with my mom and dad. A silly memory, that's all.” I give a small shrug, playing with the straw in my water.
“Oh.”
“See, no biggie. I just miss things like that. My mom was pretty cool once and let me eat carbs before they turned toxic.” I roll my eyes at my mother's crazy health kick.
Colin chuckles lightly, no doubt he also hates the green and tofu in our dinners most nights. “Well, we will just have to make new memories, and I'll let you get all the carbs, butter, and sugar you want.”
“You really know a way to my heart.” I place my hand over my heart and flutter my eyes at him sarcastically. He pushes his hand through his still crazy sex hair he never brushed and blows me a quick kiss. Is it possible just to hate someone for always looking hot, despite the fact he pretty much looked like he rolled out of bed and put on the first thing he grabbed?
We fall into an easy conversation as always, and he asks me about going to an indie rock band concert next month in Dover with a couple of his friends. Hell, yeah I want to go. Being able to go as his girlfriend, kiss him—but wait, is that what we are?
The waiter comes back with our food and places it in front of us. I get the three flapjacks with strawberries and chocolate milk and Colin gets some kind of lumberjack, artery-clogging breakfast.
“I don’t know how you eat all that?” I look at his plate in disgust; it's piled with bacon and ham and sausage and eggs.
“Why? It’s good.” He rips through a piece of bacon like a hungry carnivore.
“Okay, and when you die of a heart attack at twenty-one?”
“Well, I guess I could say I enjoyed all the greasy bacon I could while I was alive.” He shoves the rest of the bacon in his mouth.
How is it that even the way he chews is sexy? Maybe it's the way his Adam’s apple bobs or the semi-satisfied smile on his face as he eats. Whatever the reason, I shouldn’t be this turned on watching him eat.
“You know, I'm questioning what I see in you now.” I stab a strawberry, covered in a thick glaze, and lift it to his lips. “You should at least have some fruit with that?”
His eyebrows knit together, and he shoves my hand away making me laugh. “You know that’s nothing but sugar. You’ll just end up dying of diabetes instead of the heart attack, Abbs.”
“At least I'll die sweeter.” I stick my tongue out and moan as the strawberry hits my taste buds. Colin shifts in his seat, his eyes blaze into mine. “What?”
“You know what. You can’t do that in public.”
Rolling my eyes, I stab another strawberry and do it again. In return, a straw wrapper made into a ball is thrown at my head and hits me between the eyes
“You’re so annoying.” I flick the ball of paper onto the floor.
“So I've been told.”
We finish eating in a comfortable silence. When I go to reach for his hand, he jerks away. I frown at the blow off and realize that he hasn't even touched me this entire meal. Why won’t he let me touch him now? After everything we’ve done?
My mind reels back to the question of what we are. Are we boyfriend and girlfriend? Are we step-siblings with benefits?
I snicker at how stupid that sounds.
“What are you laughing about?” Colin shakes me out of my mindless commentary as he pays the check.
“What are we?” I blurt, knowing I didn't answer his question.
He clears his throat and I notice his eyes dart around the restaurant before returning to mine. “Having fun.” He shrugs and scoots off the booth.
Having fun? If that isn’t such a cop-out answer…
I don't know what I was expecting him to say. I mean it's only been a day, but it wasn’t that.
“You coming?”
“Yeah,” I mumble, bouncing myself off the booth, walking two feet behind him out of the restaurant. He unlocks the doors to his Toyota Camry and I slide into the passenger side. I stare out the window, lost in my own world as he pulls out onto the road.
“Can we tell anyone about us?” I ask, watching the trees, fields, and road signs pass. My nose scrunches when we pass a manure field. There’s a smell you never get used to.
“No, I think it needs to stay our little secret. Nobody would understand.”
“You don’t know that!” My head snaps to him, hissing through my teeth. “Tamara and Sandy are my best friends. They would get it.”
I think. I mean Tamara thinks he’s hot, so could she blame me for wanting to jump his bones—for fun. But if anything, they would support me, and they're two of the least judgmental people I know.
“At least for right now, it would be better. It’s nobody’s business, and what if they did judge you?”
“They wouldn’t,” I growl and turn my head back to look out the window at the peaceful surroundings.
“Abbs,” his hand lands on my knee and he rubs it gently, coaxing me to look at him, “just for now, it’s better this way because then we don’t have to worry about it somehow finding its way back to my dad or your mom. Why risk someone slipping up and saying something to someone or mentioning it at the wrong time?”
I sink into the seat and sigh. He’s right. I don’t want him to be right, but I know my friends tend to get bubbly when they are excited about something and play fifty questions till my head spins.
Collecting his hand in mine, I squeeze it, letting him know it’s okay. “You’re right. I just don’t keep things from them.” Colin doesn’t say anything as he keeps driving on. When I glance out the windshield I notice a sign for Delaware City. “Where are we going?”
“I thought we could go hang out at Augustine Beach. I think it’s far enough away from town, and we can enjoy the day?” He shrugs, taking his hand back to put on the wheel.
“So? A date?” I say teasingly and sigh in relief, feeling a little lighter when he smiles back at me.
“Sure, why not.”
We arrive at the beach on the river and slip off our shoes to walk on the sand as the water splashes on the shore. The sun is behind the clouds, and a cool breeze chills the air, but it’s perfect.
My body jolts from the flutters in my belly when Colin takes my hand in his and tugs me closer to him. “What are you going to do now that you’re not in school?”
“My dad is making me work for him.”
Victor is the construction manager at Reynolds Construction down by the docks. He used to do the same thing when he lived in Dover, but of c
ourse, the devil managed to get offered a job in my hometown, changing my life forever.
“You’re going to work for your dad? You’re going to kill each other.” They can’t even be in the same room with each other without biting each other’s heads off. Especially after what I saw the other day, I don’t get how he could think this is a good plan.
“It’ll be fine. As long as I do my work, I’m sure he will leave me alone.”
“Can’t you do something else? I mean you could get a job anywhere, even Dairy Queen would be better than working with him.”
Cleaning up shit would be better in my book.
“Sure, but then I wouldn’t be allowed to stay at the house. He needs the help and, well, here I am. It's good money and since he's making me pay rent, I’ll need the extra cash. Plus, best of all I’ll get to stay with you.” He gives me a full white smile before kissing my cheek.
I want to swoon, but I’m not worth going through hell with, and he needs to find his own path in life.
“You know you shouldn't feel obligated to stay with me.”
He halts his pace and yanks me flush against his body. Placing both his hands on the sides of my face, he rests his forehead on mine. “I don't feel obligated, Abbs. I want to be with you. I thought you knew that.”
My heart swells, and I nod. It gives me a little bit of hope for whatever it is we are together, “Okay.” He kisses me softly and we start walking again. Though my mind keeps replaying that hit, unable to unsee it. “I just worry about you and Victor.”
“You don’t need to worry your pretty little head about us. I can deal with my father.”
“You shouldn’t have to deal with that.”
“It’s fine,” he dismisses me again, shutting down. But my curiosity gets the best of me. We've never talked much about his life before. I met his mom, Naomi, a couple times, and it confuses me how someone sweet like her could end up with someone as vile as Victor. Hell, I’m not even sure how my mom did. I used to consider my mom the best mom ever: sweet, caring, and full of love. Then he came. He must have some Prince Charming charm that no one else can see, but our mother’s do. Especially since lately his anger is worse than when I first met him.
“Has he always been this angry? Like he’s the devil's puppet?”
“I guess.” He releases my hand to pick up a seashell. He flips it over in his fingers, seeming to study the white and pink shell.
Feeling like a journalist, I know I’ll have to keep pushing for him to open up to me. “You said he’s hit you before, so why did you come visit every weekend and why did your mom even let you? Because you can bet if my husband ever hit my child, I’d cut his balls off.”
“Because he’s still my dad.” With as much force as he can, he tosses the seashell out into the water. “Can we not talk about this because there’s no point in trying to explain things you wouldn’t understand.”
“But I want to understand.” I want to know everything about you.
He closes his eyes tight and his jaw clenches. I gulp at how irate he looks right now. Okay, so maybe I went too far for one day. If I’m not careful I’ll ruin everything before it starts.
Though, I guess it would be the Abigail Miller way.
“I’m sorry for pushing you. I feel like you know everything about me and how it used to be, but I know nothing about you besides your favorite band and TV show.”
When his eyes open they blaze at me for a second before softening and then darken to something primal. I take a step back, but he reaches out and grabs me around the waist and tugs me hard into his chest. Before I can question what he’s doing, his lips crash onto mine, and he pulls me down to the sand below. His kiss nearly suffocates me; I’m gasping for a breath and feeling dizzy with need. His erection pokes into my center and I wonder if he’s going to take me—here.
I’ve seen movies where they have sex on the beach and it looks hot, but Tamara told me you only end up with sand in places you don’t want it, so it’s not as sexy as it seems in the end.
Great, of all the places my mind takes me, it takes me there.
My hand tangles in his hair as his hand slides behind my back, “Colin,” I manage to gasp out before he covers my mouth again, silencing me.
I don’t know how long we’re lost for, as his hand works under my shirt and he rolls his hips into me. Loud squeals and giggles come from somewhere down the beach making Colin pull back. We’re both panting as we look in the direction the laughter is coming from. There are two kids and a mother playing on the water edge. I’m not sure if they can see us, but embarrassment washes over me.
Colin stands and helps me to my feet. We brush the sand off one another before he takes me back in his arms. “You know more than pretty much anyone. Just the thing with my dad…” he drifts off, his eyes bouncing around everywhere trying to find the answer, “you’ll need to trust me when I tell you I know how to handle it. Okay?”
“Okay.” I know that’s the best answer I’ll get from him. I do hope one day he’ll confide in me.
It’s Thursday morning, and I’m in the kitchen making my lunch for school. Colin has left for his third day of working with his dad and for now, it seems to be going well.
He comes home covered in dirt and smelling like sawdust and man. Never thought the smell would be such a turn on. Maybe it's because I picture him shirtless, sweat glistening on his skin, and his abs contracting as he pounds a hammer.
My legs squeeze together still feeling the ache of this morning's activities.
Is it suddenly hot in here?
“You shouldn’t be eating that. It'll make you fat.” I’m derailed from my daydream with my mother staring at my food in disgust. I pale and look down at my fluffernutter and frown. She used to make me these all the time in elementary school. “Peanut butter sticks to the hips.”
Ever since my mother divorced my dad she's been on this health kick. She’s always exercising, eating something organic and green, and tries to shove the regimen down my throat. I admit my mom looks good: flat stomach, just the right amount of muscle to not to look like a man, and good skin, but it doesn't mean I want to join a gym or give up sweets. Or carbs.
“I guess I should get a sign that says wide load now,” I bite out sarcastically, scooping another blob of peanut butter out of the jar.
No way in hell will I give up peanut butter.
“Just trying to help. Boys tend to like their girls lean.”
“I'll remember that.” I suck the peanut butter off the knife just in spite.
“You have your dad's genes…” Her words drift off and she waves her hand like she's trying to make a point but obviously doesn’t have one. There’s nothing wrong with my dad's weight or any of his family that I know of. “Anyways, you have to be careful and watch what you eat.”
I roll my eyes and grit my teeth. Why don't you just come out and say I'm gonna be fat, Mom. Geez, love you too. “Gotcha.”
“I'll see you tonight, sweetie.” She gives me a smile and is out the door.
I mash my sandwich together and throw it in the trash. Though I should know better, her words sting. Old Mom would’ve never said that to me in a million years. I smooth down my shirt, and run my hands over my hips, checking myself out. My self-confidence dwindles, and I wonder if maybe I do need to lose some weight. Maybe I should ask Colin since he’s always grabbing at these love handles.
Pushing it aside for now, I grab an apple and make my way to school.
My stomach growls as I spin my apple on the lunch table and stare at Sandy who is happily devouring a juicy cheeseburger…and not starving to death. Her boyfriend, Ryan, tries to steal a fry and she swats his hand away. He pretends to be hurt, but then sneaks in a kiss, intercepting the fry while she's dazed.
They're so damn cute and I only wish I could act that way with Colin in public. Where people either go aww or yuck because they’re grossed out by our PDA.
I guess they'd all be grossed out by me swapping spit with
my step-brother.
“Abbs!” Tamara yells and I snap my head to her wondering why the hell she's yelling.
“I'm right here. You don't have to scream.”
“I called your name like twenty times and you didn’t answer.”
She did?
“Oh, sorry.” I bite my lip and look down at apple the on the table, embarrassed about being caught daydreaming.
“Girl, your head has been in the clouds all week.” Tamara shakes my shoulder, making me look at her. “What's going on?”
“Nothing. I just have a lot on my mind.”
“Hmm. Would it happen to be a boy that's got you all floaty above reality? It explains why you keep having to “go straight home.” She uses her fingers to make quotes while she grins like she guessed the million dollar answer.
My stomach falls to my feet, knowing I can't confide in my best friends about Colin. I know if anyone could pick up the scent of a boy on me it would be Tamara.
I do like to go straight home so I can spend time with Colin, even if it is just in front of the TV. The only thing is we can't touch each other because Victor always seems to be lurking.
“No, it's just my mother. She's just been on my ass about everything lately and wants me home,” I lie smoothly and hope Tamara doesn't know my tell like Colin does.
“Oh,” her body deflates, “that sucks. Well, do you want me and Sandy to kidnap you this weekend?”
“Yeah, I'm sure I'll be able to break out.” I give her smile, though I was hoping to find a way to sneak around with Colin. But I do miss my friends.
“Good. There's a new Channing Tatum movie out. Totally need to see it.”
“Should we bring the drool rags for you, Tam?” Sandy teases.
“Me? You like him more than I do,” Tamara argues back. Ryan groans and rolls his eyes, confirming Tam’s point.
While the two bicker back and forth about who is more in love, I pull out my phone. My day brightens up seeing a text from Colin. Especially, since the way he greets me is what my mother should’ve said to me this morning.
So Wrong So Right Page 5
