“What?” I yell, shoving him in the chest. “What do you want, Colin? Was I really nothing to you but a hole to fuck to keep your dick warm till Ashley fucked you later. Huh?” I shove him again and again. Hot tears stream down my face.
He grabs my wrist and pins me against the wall, pressing his body hard to mine.
“Stop. Just stop. It’s not what you think.”
“Then what the fuck is it?” The weight of his body doesn't stop my rage from escaping. “As far as I can see you brought another girl home and flaunted your three-month relationship in my face. I always knew I wasn’t enough for you. I was only a taboo kick you got from watching too much Porn Hub.”
Colin grabs my chin, his hips pin mine against the wall, and he forces me to look at him. I see a hundred different emotions flash in them, but the one that stands out is pain. I know the look well because it’s the one I’ve been wearing for a week. “Shut the fuck up for a minute, Abigail.”
“How could you?” I breathe, my adrenaline crashing.
“Just shut up and let me talk. And listen to me before any more of the trash your spewing comes from that pretty mouth of yours.” I nod, his words only serve to make me cry harder.
“Baby, don’t cry…” He releases my chin, using the pads of his thumb to wipe away my tears.
“How can I not? You were cheating on me. But I guess it’s not really cheating if we’re not even together, right?”
He covers my mouth with his hand. “Calm down and stop the random babbling. I’ve been trying to talk to you, to explain all this. But you wouldn’t let me get a word in. It’s not all it seems, I promise.”
I glare at him, thinking yeah right.
“I’m serious, Abbs.” Even with all this going on, he’s able to read my mind. I hate him for it. “Just give me five minutes and if you hate me still, I promise to leave you alone.”
“Fine, talk,” I mumble into his hand.
He removes his hand from my mouth and runs it through my hair. I shouldn’t allow him such an intimate act right now, but there's something in his eyes, and my gut is telling me to trust him. “I wasn’t cheating on you. I tried to tell you this the other morning, but you were pissed. I understand why you were mad at me, but you still wouldn’t talk to me days later and I had to put this plan into action, or everything was going to blow up in my face.”
“Plan?”
“Promise you’ll listen to everything first and not jump down my throat?”
“I’ll try.” My eyes lift to the ceiling, and I shrug, not making a promise of anything.
Grabbing my chin again, he forces me to look at him, a smirk drawn on his lips. “That’s all I ask, brat. But can we sit because no matter how mad you are at me, being pressed against you turns me on.” He winks and pushes his erection into me.
I want to kick him for trying to make me smile when I’m still boiling, even if it’s a low simmer now. I clench my jaw to keep my grin at bay.
Not waiting for my answer, he takes my hand and drags me to the bed. He sits and pulls me down beside him. “I’m sure you remember the fight I was having with my dad the other morning.”
“How could I forget? The motherfucker hit you and then you closed up on me, again.” I snap, crossing my arms over my chest, the anger starting to stir again.
“I know.” He sighs and runs his hand down my cheek. “I’m sorry, I was confused and worried. I didn’t know what to do with myself at that moment because we were fighting about you.”
“Me?”
Why would they be fighting about me?
I couldn’t make out anything they were fighting about that morning, too afraid to come out of my room to listen, in fear of getting caught.
“Yeah,” he exhales a shaky breath deep within his chest. “My dad confronted me on the way to your room that morning. Thankfully he thought I was going to the kitchen, but I was hoping to tell you I was sorry for the night before. Anyways, he told me how we needed to talk about something important. So, he followed me to the kitchen and that’s when all hell broke loose. My dad thinks I have the hots for you, like some deep twisted feelings, and this isn’t the first time he’d expressed those thoughts. I tried to blow it off like it would be sick for me to like you because you’re my sister, but we just happen to get along well. He said he knew I lied about us hanging out together on Thursday, but he didn’t say how he knew that.” His eyes close, and his forehead wrinkles, gripping the sheet beside him as if he's pained.
“He was pissed because he demanded that night for me to stay away from you, and I needed to get my own friends and stop perving on you. He said he doesn't know how many times he's caught me with my tongue hanging out at you.” His eyes open, and they blaze into mine. “It was hard for me to deny because I do stare at you. You’re so damn beautiful.”
I blush because it's impossible for him not to have an effect on me, even though I'm still upset. “Okay, I just wish you told me that. You know I would have understood.”
“I didn’t know how to process it. I’d hoped we were hiding it good enough, but we weren’t. When you went to the bathroom, I did my best to calm down because I knew I was being a dick. Then I saw you with Dean, hugging him, laughing, and yeah, I got jealous. There’s a guy confessing he has feelings for you and willing to wait for you. How could I not think he would be an easier pick?”
“It’s not about who’s easier,” I cut him off, wanting to make my point. “I would have hoped you knew after all this time that I only want you.”
“I know, I just wasn’t thinking with a clear mind. I am sorry.” His thumb flicks over my lower lip, and I pucker my lips to kiss it. The anger and hurt starts to melt away, even though we haven’t gotten to the brunt of it.
“So, that explains why you were such a dickhead Thursday, but this still doesn’t explain anything about Ashley.”
“I’m getting there. So, after I tried to tell him we had car trouble and we never made it, he called me a liar. He told me to just admit that I wanted you and so I told him it was ridiculous because I had a girlfriend. It was the first thing that came to mind. He instantly said he wanted to meet her because he didn’t believe me. Then he started going on about you again and that’s when it got bad.” He grinds his teeth and clenches his fist so tight they turn purple.
“He tried to tell me it was okay, and that he couldn’t blame me for looking because you walk around here like a slut. That I was probably picturing how to get my dick in you. I fucking lost it, called him a sick bastard and that's when he slugged me.”
I reach out to touch his chin and move closer to give him a kiss on the purple spot. Closing my eyes, I recall earlier this evening when I hit him. I’m not any better when it comes to my temper.
“I’m sorry I smacked you. I felt awful after. It made me feel like him.”
“It’s okay, and you’re not like him.” He takes my hand and kisses my knuckles, bringing me comfort. “I deserved it and you’re going to think I deserved it even more when I tell you the next thing.”
The comfort he just brought me washes away, and my anxiety rises. If he tells me now he did cheat on me after all, there will be a bloodbath. I try to free my hand from his hold, but he only holds tighter. “What is it?”
“Afterward, I figured it would be best to try and stay away from you. When you suggested for me to get out of the house, I knew the last thing I would ever do is leave you with my father. I don’t think he would do anything. I’m sure his comment was to get a rise out of me and it worked. So, I did want to push you away, so maybe he would leave you alone, and you wouldn’t get hurt. I’m sorry.”
I manage to free my hand and scoot back from him on the bed. The stupid tears are back. He could have saved me this pain if he just fucking opened up to me. “Why didn’t you just tell me that was what was going on? You don’t think we could’ve worked something out? Instead, you wanted to hurt me. Why would you do that to me?”
“Because it would’ve kept you away fr
om me. I knew if I told you, you would try to convince me that it would be okay for us to stay together.”
“Are you telling me that's what you want now? For me to stay away from you?” My voice croaks and for the millionth time today, my heart breaks.
He grabs my chin, making my lips meet his. His tongue sweeps across my lips, asking for entrance. I allow it. He reaches behind my neck pulling me closer, but there’s no rush, or him trying to overpower me like it always is when we kiss. Instead, it’s gentle and painstakingly slow. For some reason, this feels like goodbye. He just started building me back up, but now he’s removing those pieces. I’m about to collapse like a game of Jenga.
He breaks away from me and my eyes stay closed, too scared to look at him.
“Abbs, look at me.”
I shake my head. I can’t.
“Baby…” he pulls me into his lap and I instinctively put my arms around him. I’m not ready to let go. I still don’t know who this Ashley chick is, and I don’t care at this moment. I’m not ready to say good-bye. But I’m starting to see that there’s no possible chance in the world that he and I can last forever. “Please look at me and get out of your head. Stop over thinking everything, please,” he pleads, resting his forehead on mine, and entangles his hand in my hair. I finally look at him, his eyes glassy with his sorrow.
“I thought it was what I wanted. I left knowing that I was going to have to blow off our big date and it was going to destroy you. My friend was having a party and I went there to get drunk and clear my head. I needed to figure how the hell I was going to produce this girlfriend from thin air to get my dad off my ass. How I was going to face you again knowing you were going to hate me. If one day I was going to have to watch you be with someone else because there was no way I was leaving you alone with him…” He holds me tighter to him and kisses my neck.
“I got really drunk and Ashley came up and started talking to me. She’s a friend from high school, and we only had ever been friends,” he states firmly, and I nod telling him I believe him. “She had left for Los Angeles in hopes to be a model or an actress, or something, but hadn’t found her calling yet. According to her, I started spilling my guts about you and what had happened. She helped sober me up and told me she would be willing to help me. I listened to your message and I hated myself more for hurting you like that. Ashley told me to crawl on my knees for forgiveness and made it clear that I needed to talk to you first about the whole idea. She gave me hell tonight, when I dropped her off, for not.”
“I was hurt. I didn’t care what you had to tell me if you couldn’t even text me.”
“I know. As I said, I’m sorry. I handled it wrong. If they found out about us, I think my dad would convince your mom to send you away to some boarding school, so I couldn’t get to you. I can’t risk losing you.”
“But maybe it’s a sign though?” My eyes drop to the ground and I bite my lip, wondering what the hell I’m saying.
Everything from the last couple of days and what he just told me has put my mind in overdrive. He’s right. If anyone were to ever find out about us, they would freak. We would be outcasted.
There’s no future for us.
“A sign for what?” he snaps, raising my chin, although my eyes fail to focus on his.
“How are we going to work, Colin? Our relationship has an expiration date. We can never be together. We can never tell anyone.”
“You want to throw us away, just like that?” he says, crestfallen. His body goes limp under me.
“I don’t, but you were telling me moments ago you wanted to.”
“And I told you I was wrong.”
“We don’t even have a label to put on Facebook. You’ve never called me your girlfriend. You’ve never told me before you wanted more. We’re basically just fucking, trying to sneak around, and maybe that’s the thrill of it, but it’s not a future.”
“You are my girlfriend,” he states firmly. “I’m sorry I never said it or told you that’s what I thought. But I thought I tried to show you.”
I shrug, but hearing him call me his girlfriend makes my heart flutter. Yet our future is still stalled. “It's just…where do you expect us to be in five years, shit, even next year?”
“I see my life with you, Abbs. I don't know how yet, but I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you.” He grabs the sides of my face and kisses me forcefully, but it’s all too brief when he breaks away from me. “I love you.”
My heart stops. Did he? No, he couldn’t have. Maybe I just need to clean out my ears. “What?”
“You heard me, brat.”
“Can you just say it again, just in case I misunderstood?”
“I. Love. You. Abigail. Miller,” he says slowly, with full and clear pronunciation of each word.
The heart that I thought had disintegrated today, has come back to life throwing confetti and streamers around in celebration. The smile on my face feels like it's about to split my face in half. He loves me.
But I still have the need to double check.
“You really mean that?”
His smile is as big as mine and he chuckles. “Of course I do. You’re my girl, Abbs. I’ve loved you for a while.”
My arms fling around his neck and in my excitement, I push him down to the bed, my hair fanning around his head. “I love you, too.” My lips mold to his, kissing him frantically, never wanting this moment to end. The excitement explodes from my chest.
When I somehow manage to break from his lips, I'm panting like crazy, but still need more. “I didn't think it was something I'd ever hear you say.”
“I always loved and cared about you. At first, I thought it was because you were my step-sister. I had this need to protect you from the bullshit our parents created in our lives. You were this sweet young thing, beautiful, and alluring. I knew right away there was something special about you. You welcomed me into your life with open arms. It made me like you more because I had sworn to myself before we even met that we were going to fight and hate each other. Then one day, I fell for you, hard. I couldn’t jerk off without picturing you. I tried to stay away, but in the end, I couldn't.”
“When did it change?” I never took the time to ask him, but I know it was before my party.
“About five months ago. I walked in on you in the shower.” His hand works its way up my shirt and he squeezes my left breast. “You were so stunning. Your eyes were closed with your head tilted back, as the water cascaded down your body.” His dick grows under me and I can’t resist wiggling my hips over it. “You filled out, your breasts were perky, and I pictured myself sucking on those pink nipples of yours. I snuck out and went back to my room to masturbate. It was the hardest I ever came at the time. I wanted you but figured I needed to stay away from you. It was hard because I still wanted to be around you; that’s why I took you to the chili cook-off. I liked seeing you so happy. Then you hugged me and then we accidentally kissed. I decided to back off again knowing it wasn’t right liking your lips on mine so much.”
“Well, that explains why you got so distant. You became such a tool.”
He chuckles. “Hey, I do it well. But there were so many red flags and you weren't even sixteen yet when I first jacked off to you. It already felt so damn wrong, and though our age isn’t huge, it is to other people. Then the day before your party, when we wrestled on the couch, and you put your breasts in my face, I knew you wanted me too. I spent the next day shopping for the perfect gift for you to tell you I wanted you too. Then finding out I might have to deal with some weasel trying to get what was mine, I said fuck it, and I conquered what I wanted.”
“Conquered?” I raise an eyebrow at him. “Really?”
He rolls me over on the bed, his body over mine, grinning wickedly at me. “Our parents are asleep, and I would like to show you again how I claimed and conquered this virginal land.”
“You’re a pig.”
“Oink, Oink, baby.”
The smell of coffee and
eggs waft through my room, and I awake to the morning sun. For the last four months it’s usually Colin waking me up, but since it’s Saturday, I’ll have to wait till later to have the man I love deep inside me. My stomach rumbles, letting me know I’m starving, but I can’t help but find it a little odd that I’m smelling a homemade breakfast. My mom never cooks in the mornings, and I always have to settle with cold cereal.
Maybe she's in the kitchen this morning because it’s Colin’s birthday. Jealousy swims through my veins knowing that she's more willing to do that for him and not me. I try to shake off the Debbie downer thoughts and slip into my favorite pair of pale pink, silk shorts, which show off my ass, and matching tank top. I feel guilty for not thinking of anything for us to do today, well, besides sex. Though I don’t think he'll complain about that.
I put my robe over my ensemble and make my way downstairs. If and when Colin comes out, I hope to be able to tease him with what I'm wearing and give him a taste of his special birthday treat.
My nipples are erect and pressed to the thin fabric of my top. They’re begging for Colin’s mouth to latch around them; to suck, bite and bring me to an intense, much-needed orgasm.
A toe-curling orgasm is what I need to bring me out of this funk that I’ve been in.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. Everything around me is pissing me off, even Colin. I’ve never had PMS like this and I’m starting to feel like I’m becoming Medusa. It’s driving me mad. Other than my emotional rollercoaster, everything with Colin has been going smoothly since we confessed our love to one another—except when he has to lie and say he’s going out with Ashley. That lie has been keeping Victor off our backs though, and he hasn’t been getting into with Colin.
At least not that I see or hear about, anyways.
Victor still stares at me and makes comments, but I have to take some bad with the good. It’s not like you can change the devil.
So Wrong So Right Page 11
