His tongue takes the place of any words I was going to say.
Colin rolls off me and gathers me into his arms, facing him. His hand dances down my back and I feel content for the first time today. Our long passionate make-out session, the making love that ended with him fucking me senseless was exactly what the doctor ordered. I only hope that Colin was right about his mom being a heavy sleeper because I sounded like a crazy porn star a couple of times.
“It might have been your ‘gift’ but it’s just what I needed. I feel so much better now.”
“Is that so?”
I nod, and he pulls me tighter to him, his large hand cupping my face. I can still smell my muskiness on his fingers. The whole room smells of our love. It’s heavenly.
“Abbs?” His eyes explore mine, his dark lustful look is now gentle and caring.
“Yeah?”
“Are you really okay though? It’s not just your mood swings, but there’s something I can’t put my finger on what’s different about you.”
“Bad different?” I twist my eyebrows, wondering what it could be other than acting like a psycho.
“No. Like I said, I don’t know what it is. When I figure it out, I’ll tell you.”
“Thanks.” I nudge him playfully. “And I’m okay now. But honestly, I don’t know what’s been going on. I’ve been so tired and irritable lately. I didn’t realize how bad I was until today.”
“It’s fine.” He brushes his lips to my forehead, reassuring me. He accepts my crazy hormonal flaws, loving me all the same.
I think I might have fallen more in love with him in this second.
“I like your mom, by the way.” I decide to change the subject from my mood swings before I get all weepy again by confessing my undying love for him. “I think it’s great she’s willing to support us, even if she’s not too happy with her son fucking a teenager.”
He scoffs. “I was only a teenager myself yesterday.”
“I know, but I get it.” I pause, thinking about how I want to bring this up. “Can I ask you something?”
“You know you can ask me anything.”
“After the talk with your mom, I realized that we haven’t fully talked about our future and what could happen. For one, I know that you don’t want to work with your dad forever, and you mentioned wanting to get into maybe designing or engineering, but how do you plan to do that without college?”
“I still might go back. I didn’t hate college, I hated studying accounting. I like math and all, but tax laws, and papers on tax law, yeah, I didn’t have the attention for that stuff when I hated what I was learning. I knew it wasn’t the thing I wanted, but Dad told me I pretty much had to pick a major because being a bum wasn’t a choice.”
I roll my eyes and plant a kiss on his chest. “I hate your dad,” I whisper and glance at the large silver bracelet that still rests on my wrist; a sudden ache burns through it as if his fingers still linger there, holding me down.
“I’m not a fan either, but at least he still lets me stay.” His hand strokes my arm and the goosebumps rise on my skin.
“That’s about the only good thing.” I sigh, and my nightmare comes flashing into my mind. I can practically smell Victor’s liquored breath. “He really does freak me out. I don’t know how much longer either one of us should be staying there.”
He reaches for my arm with the sore wrist, pushing my bracelet down to expose the red mark. The look of familiarity runs through his eyes, as he traces it with his thumb. “I knew you were lying.”
There’s no denying it now. He knows first-hand what Victor’s fury looks like. But I still try to play dumb. “About what?”
“He did that to your wrist, didn’t he?”
I don’t say anything and look away from him, ashamed. Ashamed for not telling him, but most of all, ashamed I let it happen.
“I fucking knew it. When? When did that motherfucker hurt you, Abbs? And don’t think of lying to me.” His voice rises. He’s boiling mad; I can see it bubbling in his veins, tearing him apart. I know every ounce of his anger is directed at Victor, but I can’t help the fearful lump knotting in my chest thinking he might also be disappointed in me.
“After our fight. He was upset because I was coming with you to see your mom and claimed it made my mom mad,” I say softly, not being able to look him in the eye.
“I’m going to fucking kill him,” he roars and stands from the bed. He’s pacing like a caged lion, tugging at his hair, and cursing in French, again. It’s like déjà vu.
“Colin!” I scramble off the bed and put my arms around his waist to halt his pacing. “You can’t say anything to him.”
“And why the hell not? He has no right to put his hands on you. I let it go when you told me the last time he made you feel uncomfortable, but I refuse to let it go now. No. I’ll find a way to do away with his body,” he seethes. So many emotions pass in his eyes and they’re moving so fast, like a high-speed pursuit I can’t pick out what they are. “I’m supposed to protect you, Abbs, and I failed. Twice!”
“You didn’t fail me, Colin. He knows exactly what he’s doing.”
“I never thought he would—” The words crack in his throat. He’s torturing himself with not being able to stop him, but he knows Victor isn’t easy to stop.
“Me neither. I always thought if he did, I would kick him in the balls. The man is the devil. Telling him will give him the power against you, against us.”
His whole body is trembling with his rage. He grabs the sides of his head and shakes it back and forth, before letting out a disgruntled roar. “I need to do something, Abbs. I deserve his fist, you don’t.”
“You don’t deserve it either, Colin.”
My arms around him squeeze tighter as my head lays on his chest, his heart thumping violently under my ear. “Baby, you need to relax. I’m okay. I promise, I’m okay.”
“That’s the thing, Abbs. I’m not. He’s always been a nasty drunk, but now, he’s drinking more like a fish and getting more aggressive. It’s to the point I never saw coming and I won’t stand for it. Hell, I should drive back tonight and handle him. Maybe your mom will believe it if it’s coming from my mouth.”
I push off him, and look him in the eyes.
“As much as I want you to hurt him or even kill him for what he’s done, it won’t fix anything. He’s not going to stop because you told him to. It’ll make everything worse and not just for you but for us. You already said he was on to you, so if you bring it up it'll raise flags.”
“Or I tell him I know the fucking signs,” he snarls. I take his hand and yank him to sit on the bed. Pushing him down on his shoulders I make him sit and curl myself into his lap. My hands push through his unruly sex hair.
“Please, it’ll just make everything so tense. My mom didn’t believe me last time.” I frown recounting the conversation.
“So, I’m just supposed to be okay with him hurting you, too?”
“I didn’t say that.” I sigh, my mind exhausted and not knowing what to do anymore. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. “I honestly don’t know what to do. But you know if you snap at him, he’ll hurt you.”
“I can take him,” he mutters, and I roll my eyes. How I wish I knew if that was true. It took me till today to see he has his reasons to not strike back, whether it’s fear or just psychological, but whatever it is, if Colin swung back it would end up being a bloodbath for sure.
“Maybe, but then he’ll kick you out.” Colin grabs me tighter and buries his face in my neck, and the light stubble of his beard tickles my collarbone.
“I hate that I failed you. If I didn’t get mad at you, you wouldn’t have been alone with him.”
“You didn’t fail me, and you had every right to be irked with me. It’s not your fault. Please don’t think that. I love you. I know you want to protect me but sometimes there's only so much you can do. Stop beating yourself up over this. And please don’t face him head-on about this…not till we fig
ure out how to be together.” I curl into him tighter and place small kisses on his neck and behind his ear, trying to calm the tension in his body. I can sense the wheels turning a million miles a minute in his head about what to do. He’s stuck between a rock and a hard place, between wrong or right.
“I almost left you home with him and didn’t take you with me. I’m such a dick, and if…” His breath shudders and I know he’s killing himself over it now. Looking back now I don’t think he would have left me at home, not after last time, but I needed the wakeup call.
“Would you have, though? I mean at the time I thought so too, but I don’t think you would have. You love me too much.” I grin, and press my forehead to his.
“No, I wouldn’t. I already had it planned to carry you out somehow or have Rick go grab you.” He pauses and places a kiss on my temple. “What if you told your father? Or see if you can live with him?” His fingers stroke my back softly, sending little pleasant shivers down my spine.
“I dunno, he might kill your dad, and I don't want him to go to jail. As for living with him,” I shrug, “I’m not sure if he wants me or if my mom would allow it, even if she knew. Plus, I don’t want to be away from you.”
“I’m sure your dad wants you, Abbs, and I wouldn’t be far away. I’ll stalk you wherever you go. But your safety is more important than my own.”
“That’s not true. If you don't think every time he hits you or leaves a mark it doesn’t affect me deep in my heart, you’re nuts. Can we just shelf this and if it happens again, we’ll re-evaluate?”
“You said that last time when I let it go. This is the re-evaluation, Abbs,” he says sternly, his cool blue eyes staring me down. Instead of putting fear into me, it turns me on, and I wiggle my hips on his semi-hard dick that’s been stirring under me this whole time. His hard face cracks into a smile and the wall of anger starts to crumble.
“Sometimes I don’t know what to do with you. Now stop being cute and be serious for a moment.”
“I am…” I rub our noses together, giving him Eskimo kisses. “I want to move on. Maybe we should think about what we want to do next and figure how we can escape this madness— together.” Escape. Yes, that’s what I want to do. Runaway. Runaway from it all. Not even going to my father’s would be enough because the only person I want to be with is Colin. I know it’s impossible, but I wouldn’t mind being on a tropical island paradise alone, with my man. Sea breezes, sun-kissed skin, and Colin always sporting swim trunks. Or maybe nothing at all, where the water glistens and drips from his firm body, and he makes love to me in the sea…
“You done daydreaming over there?” His fingers pinch my nipple, bringing me back to the now, the virgin piña colada gone from my hand.
“I’m not daydreaming,” I fib, my mind still filled with the vivid images of our naked bodies tangled together in the blue water. Colin pinches my nipple again, telling me to come back. “Well, why don’t you tell me about your ideas for this great escape. I know you think of it more than I do.”
“I haven’t got it figured out yet. I know I want to take every chance with you and be with you forever.”
His words make all the shit with Victor vanish for a moment. We’ll figure it out. We have to, but for now, we can shelf it. Evil step-daddy is only half the battle.
“I want forever too.”
“You better,” he chuckles, “because I’m not letting you go now. I don’t have a plan all put together, but I will before too long. If anything, I might end up kidnapping you out of Delaware. There’s no way I’m waiting two more years in that house. Maybe make up a lie and say you got a scholarship to study abroad. I don’t know. I’m saving money to get my own place, for us. I just don’t have every detail worked out yet. If I don’t go back to college, I don't mind staying in construction. I like building and putting things together, so it wouldn’t be the end of the world for me. There’s money in it, is that something you can live with?”
“You mean a job where my boyfriend whistles at girls all the time when they walk by?”
He tickles my side and pushes me into the mattress, hovering over me, his dick lined and center, ready for action. “The only person I would ever whistle at is you. But I do know one thing, my future is with you and I’ll make sure it works, no matter what.” His lips mesh to mine and our bodies become one, once again.
I haven’t gotten much sleep since Colin rolled off me in a heap of sweat and exhaustion. He passed out, but even with Colin’s arms protectively wrapped around me, sleep has evaded me. I found myself waking every hour or so, flashes of my nightmare coming to the forefront.
It’s a little after seven now, and I slip out of his arms to use the bathroom. He easily lets me go and I grab my phone from the charger, padding my way to the hall bathroom. Once I relieve myself and clean up, I make my way to the back porch. Sinking into one of the patio chairs, I remember Naomi's words about telling my father the truth about my relationship. She’s right, no matter how much I want to avoid it. Pulling out my phone, I stare at it, knowing there’s no better time than the present.
My dad has always been an early riser, up before the sun, never wanting to miss a minute of the day. I scroll through my contacts and I’m pleased and terrified when he picks up after the second ring.
“Pumpkin?”
“Hi, Dad.” I smile into the phone. I’ve missed his voice.
“It’s rather early for you. I’m surprised you’re up. Did you forget it was the weekend?” He chuckles, diminishing my anxiety for a second.
Only for a second.
“I couldn’t sleep any longer. I have a lot on my mind. Actually, I needed to talk to you.” I twist the end of my shirt around my finger.
He’s silent for a moment, I’m sure hearing the uneasiness in my voice. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just…” I hesitate on what to say next.
“Spill it, pumpkin. Whatever's bothering you, you’ll feel better once it’s off your chest.”
Oh, how I wish that was true.
“Okay, but I need you to promise not to talk to Mom about what I’m going to tell you. I’m not sure how you’ll take it, but if Victor found out it wouldn’t be good for anyone. I need you to believe that, no matter how much you might be disappointed in me.” The words spill out of my mouth so fast, they sound more like one big jumbled word.
“Slow down, Abby. Start by telling me what’s going on and then we can talk about the rest.”
My heart races and I sink further into the lawn chair. “Just promise you won't tell Mom.” I reinforce my plea.
“Okay, okay. I promise. Now, what’s going on because now you're worrying me.”
“Sorry. It’s not bad per se. It’s just you’re the only level-headed person…” I ramble off again and I make out my father’s frustrated groan. Sucking in a deep breath, I prepare myself for my fate, and I blurt out, “I’m dating Colin.”
“What? Abby, I didn’t make out a word of that. You need to calm down…”
“Daddy, I’m dating Colin,” I say slower this time, pushing each word out one by one. There’s a long pause of heavy breathing as my dad absorbs the words.
“Colin? Colin who?”
I roll my eyes. “Colin Wagner. You met him once for a second years ago.”
“Your step-brother?” he barks and I pull the phone away from my ear. “What the hell is wrong with those men?”
“Dad. Stop. Please just listen before you get judgmental and crazy.”
“Abigail, you haven’t seen crazy yet. What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Being in love, Daddy. I know it’s insane. It just happened. We both got along because of what Mom and his dad did to us. We understand each other. I don’t know how to explain it, but I wanted to tell you. What I have with Colin is real. I don’t expect you to agree, but I need you to understand me and my feelings. I beg you, Daddy, he’s not a bad guy. He’s not taking advantage of me. I. Love. Him.” I
state the last part firmly, wanting my true conviction to come through to him.
“He’s much older than you. You're sixteen, Abbs, and I'm not sure you know what love really is.”
I bite my lip, sick of hearing about my age being a reason for not knowing what I want. There’s only one thing I can do, and that is to sell this relationship and myself, with maturity, and bravery, like I did with Naomi.
“Yes, I’m sixteen, but I know what love is, Dad. I know how happy he makes me and how much we care about each other. We drive each other nuts because we’re so passionate about each other. He’s made me a better person and the thought of not being with him kills me. Yeah, that might be some fairytale crap to you, but it’s how he makes me feel. I know you've been burned before, and I know you don't want the same for me. But this is happening. This is real.”
“That’s a very compelling reply,” he mutters sarcastically. “So, I’m just supposed to be okay with this?”
“I already said you didn’t have to agree with it, but I wanted you to know. He took me to meet his mom. She's not pulling out the confetti either, but she saw it and she kind of gets it. She's the one that told me to call you.”
There’s a long silence and the back door slides open grabbing my attention. Colin slips into the early morning with me and closes the door behind him. I motion that I’m on the phone, and he nods slipping into the chair next to me. He kisses me on the forehead when my dad's voice booms back over the speaker.
“Is he with you now?”
“Yes?”
“Let me talk to him. Then I can give you an honest answer on how I feel about this,” he says in a calm tone, but it still makes my skin tingle with worry.
Well, at least he can't kill Colin through the phone.
“Okay, but be nice. He treats me right, Dad.”
“I get that, but…” he sighs, and I can see him sitting in his favorite recliner, pinching the bridge of his nose like he used to do when the Ravens missed a pass, “you’re my baby girl and all I see is some guy that you probably shouldn’t be with, taking advantage of you, and maybe of your naivete.”
So Wrong So Right Page 15
