by Sharon Sala
He drove straight back to the jobsite to check on the men, noticed they’d installed the window that was to go in the opening and were silently cleaning up the blood on the old hardwood floors. But when they saw him, they all began talking at once. He held up his hand for quiet.
“The kid’s still alive. His grandfather confessed to the police that he was trying to kill me when he accidentally shot his grandson, so I’m betting he won’t see another free day in Georgia until he dies. We’re all safe here to finish the job. The rest of the family is in shock. I see the electrician and his crew are gone. Are they finished, or did this scare them off?”
“They ran out of something, but Ken said more was due today on the UPS truck, so they’ll have everything to finish up tomorrow,” Ray said.
“Good enough,” Bowie said. “Let’s call this a day. Rest up, get some good food in you, and we’ll start again tomorrow.”
They were all rattled by what they’d seen and glad to put some distance between them and the scene of the crime. As soon as they had their tools gathered up, they were gone.
Bowie walked back through the house, making sure windows were down and locked and that the back door was locked as well. Then he headed toward the front door, ready to put this behind him. He paused in front of the new window and looked up again. The little bird that had been sitting on the rafters was gone. Hopefully, it flew out the opening when all hell broke loose.
He locked the front door and then got in the car to go home. There was no need calling Rowan ahead of time to be ready because he was going to have to shower and change.
* * *
Ella had just taken a load of towels out of the dryer and was sitting on the side of the bed to fold them.
Pearl was in the recliner watching television, and Rowan was dressed and quietly waiting for Bowie’s call. Part of her was dreading the trip because she knew going home would be hard. But being with Bowie made it better.
It would be the first time the two of them would be alone, which was ironic considering their brief history. She’d slept beside him in a bed, and Bowie kept teasing her about their future even though they’d never been on a date. This might not be a traditional relationship, but she would be the first one to admit there was something special between them.
Then she heard a car pull up outside. He’d said he would call. Maybe it wasn’t him. She was waiting for a knock when she heard a key in the lock, and then he was already inside.
They all turned to look, and then reacted.
“What happened to your shirt?” Ella asked.
Rowan stood up. “Is that blood on your jeans?”
Bowie started to explain, and then stopped. If he started talking, he might lose it. He’d kept his cool through everything that had happened, but the simple act of coming home to people he knew and trusted had brought him to his safe place to fall.
He held up one finger, indicating he needed a moment, and got a cold bottle of Coke from the refrigerator and took a big drink, then set it down as he turned to face them.
“Judson came to the house this morning with the intention of killing me and accidentally shot Junior instead.”
Pearl gasped.
Ella whispered a prayer.
But it was Rowan who heard the raw emotion in his voice. Without care for the audience, she went straight to him and hugged him.
“I’m so sorry,” she said.
Bowie was shaking as she wrapped her arms around him. He pulled her close, holding on to the anchor she’d given him.
“Is he alive?” Pearl asked.
Bowie nodded. “He was when I left the hospital.”
Rowan looked up at him, remembering the blue T-shirt he’d worn to work, and suddenly knew why it was gone.
“You used your shirt to stanch the flow of blood, didn’t you?”
Bowie nodded, trying not to think of how pale Junior’s face became the longer it flowed—the coppery scent, the warm gush of lifeblood on his skin, like the way he found his mother. Only she was already gone.
Pearl saw the tears in his eyes, and all of a sudden she was thrust back twenty years to the sound of Bowie’s voice on the phone. “Mama killed herself.” It was only later that she learned Billie had slit her wrists and bled out all over the kitchen floor.
Pearl came out of her chair and went to him, hugging both of them. “I needed to do this twenty years ago, but you were too far away. I love you, Grandson, more than you will ever know.”
“I’m so sorry, Bowie,” Ella said, and latched on from the other side.
Bowie held on to them all, taking comfort from their presence and from the love flowing from them to him. When he heard a knock at the door, he flinched.
“Are you expecting anyone?” Pearl asked.
“No, ma’am,” he said, but then he opened the door, and Chief Pittman was on his doorstep with a box in his hands.
“I’m sorry to bother you, Bowie. But when my wife, Mercy, heard about what happened, she called and asked me to deliver this to you and your girls. And I’m to tell you that something sweet cures a whole lot of what ails you, so enjoy.”
He handed Bowie the box, and then he was gone.
Bowie carried it to the dining table and opened it.
Pearl clapped her hands. “Oh, my goodness! One of Mercy Pittman’s famous pies, and it’s pecan pie, at that! What a sweet lady.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Bowie said. “But I need to clean up, so if you all will excuse me for a bit, you have my permission to ruin your lunch and eat dessert first.”
“It’s not close to lunchtime,” Ella said. “We’ll just call this a midmorning snack.” She turned around to get a knife to cut it as Bowie headed for the bathroom.
But Rowan was behind him, and the soft touch of her hand on his back stopped him.
“We don’t have to go back to the farm today,” she said.
“Honey, you have no idea how much I need to do that,” he said. “But thank you for being so thoughtful.”
“I can’t bear seeing you hurt,” she whispered.
“That works both ways,” he said. “Give me a few minutes, and then we’ll be on our way.”
“It won’t mess up your workday too much?”
“I shut it down for the day. We were all a little too wired for our own good.”
He went into his bedroom for clean clothes and then took them with him into the bathroom he and Rowan were sharing. A few moments later, he tossed the bloody jeans out the door.
Rowan saw him toss them out and put them in the washer, turned it to cold water only, added detergent, and started it up. It wouldn’t wash away the memory, but at least he wouldn’t have to look at blood on his clothes again. Then she washed up at the kitchen sink before sitting down with the girls.
“Want a piece of pie?” Ella asked.
Rowan shook her head. “Not now. I’ll wait for Bowie. And can I ask you something?”
“Absolutely,” Ella said, and laid down her fork.
“How did Billie die? I mean, I know she committed suicide, but how?”
Ella sighed. “She slit her wrists. Bowie found her on the kitchen floor in a pool of blood.”
Rowan’s eyes filled with tears as she nodded. “Thank you. That explains what I felt when I hugged him. I knew something about today had triggered an old memory for him. I just needed to know so I wouldn’t unintentionally say something that would make him feel worse.”
Pearl reached across the table and clasped Rowan’s hand. “You are a gift to all of us, child. Thank you for being a part of our lives.”
But Bowie wasn’t going to be able to shower off what had happened. He managed to hold it together until he stepped beneath the scalding spray and felt himself coming undone. He reached out on instinct until he felt the tile on the shower walls and then flattened his hands a
gainst the cool, slick surface to keep from falling.
Maybe it was feeling safe within such a small enclosure that was part of how he healed himself of panic attacks, or maybe it was because the water on his face would hide his tears, but within seconds he was crying.
Today was the culmination of everything he’d feared about coming back, and worse. He didn’t understand hate like that family held for him, but he was sick of it being the guiding factor in his life. All he’d ever wanted was to be accepted for who he was, not the bastard child who’d been born of rape, which was the tag he’d been branded with at birth.
He cried until there were no more tears left. Unaware of how long he’d been in there, he reached for the soap and a washcloth and began scrubbing every inch of his body. In his mind he was telling himself it was to wash away Junior’s blood, but in his heart it was an unconscious effort to wash away the shame of being born. By the time he came out, he was clean and dressed, with his game face back in place, ready to face the rest of the day.
“Did you leave me a piece of that pie?” he asked as he moved to the table.
“That and more,” Ella said. “Rowan made you two some sandwiches to take with you.”
“A picnic, and with the perfect partner,” he said, and winked at her, knowing she’d blush, and she did. “I have an old blanket I’ll throw in the car. I have a cooler in the car that’s already iced down with bottles of water.”
Rowan saw the boy behind the man and knew he was struggling. “But we have to eat dessert first,” she said. “Today has started off wrong in spite of trying to do the right things, so we’re going to break rules for the rest of the day.”
Pearl grinned. “I never heard that excuse for a picnic before.”
“Oh…it’s not an excuse,” Rowan said. “It’s a fact of the universe. When there’s too much negativity, we have to break the cycle, and break rules like no dessert until after you eat, which is a terrible rule anyway. Sometimes you just need that sweet to reset your day.”
“Like eating a piece of chocolate when I’m frustrated!” Ella said.
“You eat chocolate regardless of frustrations,” Pearl muttered.
Ella started to fire back and then sighed. “I hate to admit it, but Mama’s right.”
“Mama’s always right,” Pearl said.
Ella rolled her eyes.
Rowan giggled and cut and plated two pieces of Mercy Pittman’s famous Southern pecan pie.
“You two fight it out. Bowie and I are eating pie,” she said.
Bowie laughed, and as he sat down at the table with them and took the first bite, hurt settled and horror faded.
These were his people.
They were the ones who mattered.
Then the pie was gone, and Bowie was standing at the door with the old blanket on one arm and Rowan on the other.
“Gran, Aunt Ella…are you two going to be okay while we’re gone?”
“Of course we’re going to be okay. We’re not helpless,” Pearl said, and in the same breath issued a request for assistance. “Ella, would you please put some more ice in my glass? My sweet tea is getting warm.”
“No, we’re not helpless until we want to be,” Ella said, taking her mother’s glass to the refrigerator.
Pearl snorted.
Ella ignored her. “You two be careful, and we’ll see you later.”
Bowie started to leave, and then remembered. “Oh…Gran, since you mentioned you and Cora Boone used to be friends, you might like to know they transported her to the emergency room this morning, too. I heard this while I was in the ER.”
“Oh no! What happened?” Pearl asked.
“All I know is when Jud came back into Blessings this morning, he tried to get into the house. I guess Cora had locked him out. Anyway, they said he was beating on the door and shouting at her. She got scared and called the cops. He heard the sirens and took off, but it scared her enough that she suffered some kind of episode and passed out.”
Pearl frowned. “Poor Cora. I’ll keep her in my prayers.”
“See you later,” Rowan said, waving as she and Bowie started to the door.
“Oh, hey…Rowan, did you get the grocery list?” Pearl asked.
“Yes, ma’am,” Rowan said, patting her hip pocket.
“Is there anything on there that you need before we get back?” Bowie asked.
They shook their heads.
“Then we’ll shop later,” Bowie said.
They drove out of Blessings, and even though Rowan dreaded the trip home, she was happy to be with Bowie. She was quietly admiring his profile when he caught her and winked.
“Sorry for staring, but all of this still feels like a dream,” she said.
“All of what, honey?” Bowie asked.
“You. Me.”
“Ahh, that. Well, if it will make you feel any better, you are the first woman who’s ever made me feel like this. I keep thinking about what a short time we’ve known each other, but I feel like you’ve always been in my life.”
Rowan sighed. “As isolated as my life has been, I should be afraid to even look you in the eye, and yet I don’t want to look away.” She blushed ever so slightly. “And it’s probably shameless of me to admit that, but no guile comes along with inexperience.”
“On the contrary, Rowan. True honesty is rare, just like you. Don’t ever change,” he said and reached for her hand.
When his fingers curled around her hand, she shivered, thinking about the hold he already had on her heart.
They rode in comfortable silence for a few miles, but when Rowan suddenly turned loose of his hand and leaned forward, Bowie frowned.
“What is it?” he asked.
“This property belongs to a neighbor. I’m just looking at what the flood did. All his fences are gone, and he had a large herd of sheep.”
“That’s a tough loss,” Bowie said.
Rowan nodded, but her heart was beginning to pound. All this had done was resurrect the dread she’d had of going home.
“You’ll have to tell me when to turn,” Bowie reminded her.
“It’s not far now,” she said. “Oh…I didn’t think. I hope that washed-out road has been repaired.”
“We’ll find out soon enough,” Bowie said.
A few minutes later, Rowan pointed to a bank of rural mailboxes at the side of the road.
“If the road has been fixed, we turn on the far side of those mailboxes. If you’ll stop for a moment, I’ll check our mailbox. It’s the last one on the end.”
Bowie nodded and began to slow down just a bit, in case he needed to make a sudden stop. But when they got there, it was obvious recent roadwork had been done.
“Ah, it’s been repaired,” Rowan said, and then got out and ran to the box. The only thing in it was an electric bill… for a house that was no longer there. She took it with her and got back into the car. “Turn right and follow the road. Our farm begins at the end of it.”
Bowie glanced at her as he turned. She was pale and tight-lipped. He’d seen that look on her face before. Her memories couldn’t be good.
Rowan’s hands were clasped tightly in her lap as she leaned forward, anticipating each house, each mailbox, counting them down to home as she’d done so many times before.
And then, as they came around a curve, Rowan moaned. Silt and flood debris were all over everything. It was worse than she’d imagined, yet in the midst of the chaos, the old barn where she’d sought refuge was still standing. She finally leaned back, letting the emotions of what she was feeling wash over her.
Bowie stopped and parked. “Let’s walk from here, okay? I don’t want to ruin a tire on something that might be buried under the silt.”
Rowan unbuckled her seat belt and got out, then walked to the front of the car where Bowie joined her. The sun was ho
t on her face, but there was a faint breeze. The landscape was familiar and yet somewhat deformed. Nearly every memory she had in her life had been linked to this place, and now the landmarks that had defined it were missing.
When Bowie slid an arm across her shoulders, she leaned against him and pointed.
“You see the chimney. That’s where the house stood. And just to the west, a hog pen, a chicken house, and Daddy’s old tool shed. We weren’t feeding out a hog at the time, but we had about twenty laying hens.” Her chin quivered. “My poor little hens. I couldn’t see all of this from the loft, and I was so shaken and weak when I was rescued that all I cared about was the bottle of water I was given to drink.”
Bowie pulled her close. “I saw something similar to this about ten years ago when we were on a build site in Oklahoma. A tornado came through the area. The debris looked something like this. I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry,” he said, and kissed the top of her head.
Rowan was crying and didn’t know it. “That’s the barn I was in.”
“Do you want to go see it?” he asked.
“I think I have to, or I’ll be afraid of these emotions for the rest of my life.”
Then he brushed a kiss across her lips. “You lead the way, and at your pace.”
About halfway there, Rowan paused.
“This is about where Daddy went under. The last thing I heard him say was ‘I’m sorry.’” Then she suddenly gasped. “Oh my God… It just dawned on me. I thought he was saying that because I would be left all alone, but what if he was talking about how he had manipulated my life?”
“How would that make you feel, if that’s why he said it?” Bowie asked.
“I wouldn’t feel quite as betrayed, I think.”
“Then why don’t you accept that as your truth? It does no good to resent someone for past behavior. I’m living proof of that,” Bowie said.
“I know you’re right. I’m still going to have to come to terms with it, though. When I think back through all the years, and how he abused my trust in such a selfish way…” Her voice trailed off as she looked back at the barn and the hay door above the breezeway. “That’s the loft I was in.”
“Show me,” Bowie said, and she did.
