Daffodils and tulips bobbed their brightly-covered heads in the beds that lined the sidewalks. It was spring in Philadelphia, and I had to admit that life was pretty damn sweet. While my team hadn’t made it to the post-season, we’d played in the wildcard game and gotten close to winning. Last season had been a building year, and everyone had high hopes for this fall. The coaches and front office were happy with me, and I’d been signed to a five-year contract.
That was one reason I’d re-visited my idea to buy property. I was ready to put down roots and be settled. Pops’ health seemed to be good, and even living here in the city, I was only twenty minutes away from him. I could still handle his yard work and visit as much as I wanted. I’d mentioned the idea of him moving in with me here, but he’d balked, telling me he was happy in his own home, with his friends nearby. I could understand that.
“Hey, handsome. You looking for a good time?”
With a broad smile, I turned to see my girl approaching. Gia looked gorgeous, as she always did. Her hair shone in the warm sunshine, and the pretty dress she wore floated around her, just skimming her thighs half-way up. It made me want to sneak my hands up there and find out what she had on underneath.
She stepped into my arms as she always did now, without a second of hesitation. I buried my face in her neck, breathing her in, grateful as always that this amazing woman belonged to me.
Mine.
“I’m not looking for a good time, because I get all the good times I could ever want with my woman.” I slapped her lightly on the ass, making her jump and huff in pretended affront.
“Watch it, buddy. No handling the merchandise.” She smiled up at me. “So are you ready to show me this amazing place, or what?”
“Definitely.” I took her hand and unlocked the door, brushing off some of the paint so that it wouldn’t cling to Gia’s dress. “This place has been empty for a while, so be careful where you walk. It’s safe, but there could be glass or other stuff lying around.”
“Got it.” She gazed around as we stepped into the foyer. “Wow, look at this ceiling. It’s so high. And what’s that around the light?”
“It’s some kind of frou-frou architectural thing. I can’t remember what the real estate agent called it. But apparently, we should restore it and not get rid of it.” I led her into the living room, pointing toward the sliding glass door on the rear wall. “I talked to the contractor, and he said we could replace those sliders with French doors or even with floor-to-ceiling windows. It would be cool to have that much sunlight, I think.” I tapped my shoe against the floor. “And see this? It’s hard wood, and it seems like it’s in good shape. We can just restore it.”
“Tate, it’s beautiful. Well, I mean, I can see that it will be.” She turned around, taking it all in. “I can see why you fell in love.”
“No, I fell in love with you.” I snagged her hand and pulled her close for a quick kiss. “The house is a place I think could work for us, for now at least.”
Gia looked at me with wide, unreadable eyes, nodding a little. I knew why I was tense about this; although I’d told Gia about this townhouse and why I was interested in buying property, and she’d responded with positive interest, I still remembered how freaked out she’d been a year ago when I’d broached the subject of buying a house for us.
“Let’s see the kitchen.”
I gave her the full tour, going through the kitchen, the formal dining room, the room I’d envisioned as an office . . . and then we climbed the steps to see the bedrooms.
“There’s so much room up here, and with it being a double house already, we have lots of options.” I pointed to one bedroom. “That could be an extra office, or a workout room or something. And we could have a couple of guest rooms, too.”
“This is amazing. What about the master bedroom?” She shot me a sauce look. “You know that’s the room I’m most interested in exploring.”
“Your wish, my command.” I led her to the back of the second floor, to a bedroom that took up the entire rear of that level. “I was thinking of a full bathroom with one of those big tubs, maybe with jets in it, and closets for each of us. And maybe a little sitting room, so you’d have a place to curl up and read if you wanted.”
“I can see it all.” She wrapped her arms around her middle and hugged herself. “Look at this—it’s a bay window. We could put in a window seat.”
My heart thudded happily. She liked it. She was talking in terms of we and ours. This was all good.
I stood behind Gia, sliding my arms around her waist as we looked out the window. “It’s a beautiful yard, too. We can put in flowers and maybe even a vegetable garden.” She rested her head against my chest, leaning back with her hands over mine. “I love it, Tate. I really do.”
“So once all the work is done, will you move in here with me?” This was the million-dollar question.
“Try and stop me.” She turned in my embrace and stood on her toes to kiss me. She sighed, her arms loosely linked around my neck and her cheek over my heart, right where she belonged. “This is the perfect way to end the day.”
I ran my hands up her ribs, skimming my thumbs just below her boobs. “I can think of a couple of even better ways. And speaking of which, we should probably get ready to leave. There’s no electric turned on in here yet, so it’s going to get dark soon.”
We made our way carefully down the steps. Gia ventured over to gaze out at the backyard one more time.
“Oh, I made our reservation for the hotel today, for Quinn and Leo’s wedding.” She threaded her fingers with mine. “I can’t believe it’s coming up so fast.”
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “Uh, babe, don’t you think we should tell them what’s happening with us? I mean, here we are, talking about moving in together. Making plans. I think it’s safe to spill the beans.”
“I know, I know,” she sighed. “But now if I tell Quinn, she’s going to be hurt that I didn’t do it sooner, and I don’t want her to be upset before the wedding. As soon as they come back from their honeymoon, I’ll tell her. I promise.”
Rare annoyance flared, but I tamped it down, forcing myself to ignore it. “Fine.”
Gia tilted her head, glancing up at me. “Fine? What’s that supposed to mean?”
I took a deep breath. “Nothing.” I managed to smile. “It’s fine. I get it.” I untangled our fingers. “Let’s go.”
“Wait a second there, bud.” Gia folded her arms over her chest. “What’s going on with you?”
“I said, nothing.” I walked a little bit away from her and put my hands on my hips. “Come on.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I’m not leaving yet. Not when there’s something clearly going on here. Something’s wrong. Why don’t you just say it?”
I swallowed hard and ran my tongue over my lips. “I don’t want to say anything that’s—that’s—”
“Anything that’s what, Tate? What are you afraid to say to me?” Gia narrowed her eyes. “Are you worried about doing something that might upset me?”
“Shouldn’t I be?” The words burst out of my lips. “I don’t want to start anything that might make you . . . unhappy.”
“Why?” She didn’t seem angry, but then again, I’d learned that with women, that wasn’t always a good indicator of their true state of mind. “What are you afraid of, Tate? You can tell me. I promise, I’m not going to freak out.”
I gritted my teeth, wishing my heart would stop hammering. “I don’t want you to leave me again.”
“Tate.” She closed her eyes for a minute, and then she almost stumbled in her hurry to get to me, to hold me close. “Tate, c’mon, honey. It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. Well, not without you, anyway. Didn’t I tell you that you’re stuck with me?”
I nodded, not quite able to speak yet.
“Listen, I’ve been kind of worried about this for a while. You never disagree with anything I say. You never argue. And when I’m in a pissy mood, and I snarl at y
ou, you diffuse the situation and give me my own way. All the time.” She paused. “You treat me like a princess. While I’m not going to say that I don’t enjoy that sometimes, it’s not healthy, Tate. You have to feel like you can tell me anything. You can tell me I’m wrong. You can say that I hurt you, or that something I did annoyed you.”
“I’m so happy now. I don’t want to do anything to mess this up for us.” I rubbed her arms, looking into her eyes again finally. “I don’t want to live without you.”
“And I’m thrilled about that, babe. I feel the same way. But you can’t treat me like I’m made of glass. I’m not that fragile.” She framed my face with her hands. “I was once. But you know I’m stronger now.” She opened her mouth to go on, but tears filled her eyes and ran onto her face. “Tate . . . I’m not broken anymore. I used to be, but I’m not now. You didn’t fix me, but you gave me the courage to fix myself. That’s the best gift anyone could give. Now you need to believe it. Trust me when I say that we can argue, and I won’t leave. That’s part of a healthy relationship. We need to love each other enough to fight and know it’s okay.”
“All right.” I waited a beat. “It irritates me that we haven’t been more open about our relationship. I understood that you wanted to wait when we got back together, but hasn’t it been long enough? Did you ever think maybe they already suspect? I mean, we were supposed to spend Christmas down in Richmond with Leo and Quinn, and we both backed out. That was a little suspicious.”
Gia shrugged. “Maybe, but Quinn’s been pretty preoccupied. She seemed to buy it when I told her things were better with my mother and I wanted to spend the holidays with her. And you said Leo didn’t blink when you said you didn’t want to leave Pops alone after all.” She smiled up at me. “And it really was a wonderful Christmas.”
It had been wonderful, Gia was right. We’d celebrated Christmas Eve with her mother and sisters before we’d driven back to Gatbury in time for midnight Mass. Gia had stayed with Pops and me that night, and waking up to open presents by the tree with her the next morning had made it the best Christmas I’d ever known.
Still, now that I was having my say, I didn’t want to let her distract me with those fond memories.
“I want to be able to go to Leo’s wedding with you as my girlfriend. I don’t want to have to pretend that you’re just an acquaintance. I want to hold your hand, kiss you and dance with you. I want to introduce you to everyone there as Gia, my girlfriend. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”
Gia let me finish and then she nodded, her face serene. “That’s not unreasonable. I don’t think you’re wrong. And you’re probably right that I should’ve said something a long time ago, because I don’t want Quinn to be hurt, and she’s more than likely going to be mad when I come clean.” She held up one finger. “However, I know you might not understand it, but at this point, with the wedding so close, it really is going to be better for me to tell her afterward.” She kissed my cheek. “We’re staying together in the same hotel room. It’s just during the actual ceremony and reception that we need to play it cool.”
I heaved a sigh. “I get it. I don’t like it, and I’m glad you understand why, but I’m officially going on record as saying I’m opposed.”
“And I have duly noted that.” She traced a line down my cheek. “Tate, I love you. I want to spend my life with you. Just bear with me for this, and I promise, I’ll spend all our time in the hotel making it up to you.” She slid her hands down to my ass, squeezing. “I’ll make it up to you in any way you want.”
I bent to kiss the tip of her nose. “That sounds intriguing. And I have lots of ideas.” I nuzzled her neck. “Now let’s go. It’s getting dark, and I’m starving.”
“Surprise, surprise.” She rolled her eyes. “C’mon, babe. Let’s go, and I’ll meet all your many needs.”
“Now you’re talking.” I grabbed her hand, and we walked out together into the waning light of late afternoon.
“Wasn’t it a beautiful wedding?” Mrs. Taylor, Leo’s mom, came up behind me, slipping her arm around my waist and leaning her head on my shoulder. “You know, there were times I thought these two would never get their shit together and make it work, but . . . love wins.”
I smirked. “Trust you to sum it up so poetically, Mrs. T.”
She laughed. “Well, you know it’s true. You’ve been watching them all these years, too.”
“You’re right. And yes, it was a lovely wedding. Still is.” I stood near the table where I had been assigned to sit with Zelda, Tuck and Leo’s brothers, Simon and Danny, along with Simon’s wife, Justine. “You all did a great job putting it together.”
“Ellie Iverson was a big help. She plans events, so Quinn left almost everything in her hands.”
I nodded. “I’ve met her a few times.” Turning a little, I gave Mrs. Taylor a hug. “Big year for you, huh? Married off two sons, and now you’re going to be a grandmother.” Simon and Justine were expecting a baby in the fall.
“I know.” She sighed. “Time goes by so quickly. It seems just yesterday, Simon, Danny and Leo were all little guys, running in the yard, and Quinn and Nate were coming in and out of our house like they lived there.” She sniffled a little, and I knew she was thinking of Nate and of his parents, who had quietly slipped away after the ceremony.
“He was here today. I’m sure of it.” I thought of the chair Leo and Quinn had left empty for their friend. I had expected to feel sad whenever I glanced that way during the ceremony, but in truth, I didn’t. I had the sense that if I’d turned my head quick enough, I might have caught sight of Nate, sitting there with a huge grin as he watched his two friends realize their dream.
“He was,” Mrs. Taylor agreed. “So now what about you, Gia? A girl as pretty and smart as you should find herself a good man.” She waved her hand. “Look at these hot football players here. Most of them are single. Take your pick, honey. Don’t let any grass grow.”
I laughed, but I was relieved when Simon called to his mother, asking her to come talk to someone a few tables away. I’d managed to keep my relationship with Tate private up to now, but I didn’t want to lie to Leo’s mom. Tate had rubbed off on me, I thought with a smile. His honesty policy was contagious.
I’d stolen glances at him during the ceremony, meeting his eyes while our friends had spoken words of love and forever. For the first time in more years than I could remember, I was able to imagine myself saying those same words . . . to Tate. We weren’t perfect, and we still had some growing and learning ahead of us, but I had the gut-deep feeling that we were going to make it together. We’d paid our dues.
I hadn’t completely forgotten about Matt, but maybe I never would. Thinking about him didn’t hurt the way it had before, though. I chose to remember the good times, the rare days when Matt had shown me a glimpse of the man he might have been. I understood that his fate had been his choice; the decision I’d made to save myself had been the right one. If I hadn’t, I probably wouldn’t have been where I was today, able to be part of a healthy relationship and eager to embrace the future.
Across the tented room, Tate was sitting at a table with Tuck and a bunch of other guys who were undoubtedly football players. I thought I recognized some of them as Tate, Leo and Matt’s teammates from Carolina, while one of them was Corey Iverson, Ellie’s husband, who I’d met at Quinn and Leo’s engagement party. Tate seemed to know him pretty well; now that I thought about it, I had a vague memory of Tate mentioning hanging out with him when he and Danny had driven down to see Leo way back during that winter we’d first met—for the second time.
As though he felt my eyes on him, Tate turned his head, meeting my gaze. He gave me a quick wink, and I caught the flutter of his fingers as he waved covertly.
Something deep inside me shifted in that moment. Something that I’d known for a long time, something that maybe I’d always known but had been afraid to acknowledge.
This man . . . he was strong and steadfa
st, faithful and unendingly honest . . . he was filled with nothing but love for me and belief in me, and he demonstrated that every single day. He’d reminded me what it was like to live, and then he’d waited for me when I’d run away to find wholeness. He was every dream I’d ever had and yet so real and solid that I knew he’d never let me fall.
He was mine.
Without really thinking about it, I pushed off the chair I’d been leaning against and began making my way across the room. I wove around groups of people who were standing together chatting, ducked between waiters carrying trays filled with food and pushed through the crowded dance floor. When I passed Zelda, she touched my arm and began to say something, but when I shook her off and kept moving, she only smiled and called after me.
“About time, gorgeous!”
I didn’t stop until I reached the table where Tate was sitting. He was leaned back in his chair, but his attention was on Corey, who was trying to be heard over the music. Corey noticed me before Tate did; his eyes widened a little, and he gave a jerk of his chin, telling Tate to turn around.
Frowning in confusion, Tate shifted so that he faced me, surprise etched on his face. Before he could speak, I held out my hand.
“Dance with me?”
He stared up into my eyes, and in his, I saw the love that had never wavered.
“Dance?” He glanced around. “Are you sure?”
I knew what he was asking me, and I wanted to make sure my answer was clear.
“Why the hell not? Shouldn’t a woman be able to ask her boyfriend to dance whenever she wants?”
Tate’s hand closed around my fingers, and he stood up, his body so close to mine that I could feel the heat of him radiating over every inch of me.
“Her boyfriend, huh?” His voice was low and husky.
Not Broken Anymore Page 27
