by Terra Kelly
“Two originals with chocolate drizzle and powdered sugar on both.”
Liam stood back away from me but I knew he was watching my every move. I grabbed the tongs and threw the pies in the fryer. As I set the timer, I turned to face Liam. “You don’t get to do that,” I whispered. “You can’t just walk back in my life and confess your love for me. There’s been too much time between us. Plus, you hurt me.”
He took a few steps forward. “What can I do?” The moment he placed his hand on my forearm I felt the electricity run through my arm. “You didn’t let me finish the other night.”
I moved the pie around in the oil. “Finish what?”
“Telling you more about the last few years.” There was a five-gallon bucket turned upside down. Liam pulled it closer to me and sat on it. “I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on what I’m missing in my life.”
“Thank you.” I said to the young couple and handed them their order. “Okay.” I leaned my back against the small cabinet. “What do you want me to say?” I was trying to stay cool and collect but I was far from it. Plus, Liam’s aftershave was messing with my head. He was sitting only a few inches away and I had this urge to bury my face in the crook of his neck. The thoughts were not helping. I stopped in the center of the truck and placed my hand over my forehead. “Liam, if Jesse and Hannah want to make sales tonight, I can’t have you sitting there staring at me.”
He hopped up. “Then I’ll help.”
“Help. You?”
He turned his head to the side. “You don’t think I can cook a pie?”
All the pies were pre-made in the main kitchen. There was no way to make the pies for each customer. We would probably lose customers rather than gain them. It was actually a pretty easy setup, grab a pie from the cooler, cook it, and serve it. Bam.
“Fine. Here.” I handed him the tongs. “I need to take a restroom break anyways.”
“Wait, you’re leaving me alone?” He was standing by the fryer holding the tongs. His expression was priceless.
“You’ll be fine.” I patted his shoulder. “It’s easy.” I hopped down out of truck. “Just don’t overcook them.”
“Overcook? How long do I cook them for?” He took a few steps toward me but I ignored him.
“Five minutes or until golden brown.” I smiled and closed the door. As I leaned my back against the metal surface I glanced around. It was quiet tonight. He would be fine alone.
I was halfway to the restroom when I realized something. Jesse set me up. He and Hannah didn’t need the night off. They found a way to make me talk to Liam. I pulled my phone from my back pocket and quickly dialed my brother’s number.
“Autumn,” I heard him say and wanted to punch him. “You okay?”
“Don’t you okay me, Mister.” I sat down on a bench.
“What are you talking about?”
“Where are you right now?”
“Um…a…restaurant.”
“Jesse.”
“Autumn.”
“You set me up.”
He burst out laughing. “How the hell did you figure it out?”
“You’re my brother. I can read you like a book.” I stood and turned to face the food truck. “I really hope Liam doesn’t burn the truck down.”
“What?” Jesse sounded freaked out. “Where are you?”
“I needed a restroom break. Liam offered to cook for me.” I started heading back to the truck. “Listen, stop putting your nose where it doesn’t belong.”
“Come on, Autumn, give him a chance to explain. He just wants a second chance.”
My brother’s words echoed in my ears. Second chance. Did Liam deserve one though? I stood several yards away and watched as he helped a few customers. He actually looked happy. I thought he would be frazzled. The moment he lifted his head and noticed me watching him my mind wondered back to before he left. We used to always tell one another how much we loved each other. I would tell him I loved him more than there were grains of sand in the world.
Liam was now walking my way. Shit.
He still loved to wear worn jeans and old blue jean button down shirts.
My favorite thing about him was his cowboy hat. There was only one cowboy hat he wore rain or shine.
“Autumn. Are you okay?” He stopped a few inches from me.
I glanced up at him and let my eyes scan the overly loved cowboy hat. Was I okay?
He reached for my hand. “Talk to me. What is it?”
“Do you remember what we always said to each other before saying goodbye?” I didn’t pull my hand away from him. It felt good to have the connection.
His face softened and he nodded. “I love you more than chocolate and apple pie.”
Fuck. Damn you, Liam Hicks, my first love. “You hurt me,” I whispered the words and dropped my head.
“I know.”
“I don’t know how to let that go.”
“I’m not expecting you to.”
I glanced up. “What do you want, Liam?”
“I want you.” He glanced back at the truck. The line was growing. “And I want to help you make the pies. We can do it together.”
The customers looked angry. My dramatic shit had to wait. “Come on.” I ran past him and hopped up into the truck. “Sorry about that folks. We’re here.”
We spent the next two hours taking orders and cooking pies while walking around each other. Every time I bumped into him, my body reacted. I wanted him, that much was obvious.
This wouldn’t be easy, but maybe I did need to give him a better chance to explain.
“Liam.” I was washing the last of the dishes. “What are you doing tomorrow?”
He untied his apron and hung it on the hook right beside me. “Nothing. Levi didn’t put me on the schedule for tomorrow.” He leaned his body against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. “Why?”
“Spend the day with me.” It was like my mind and my mouth were not connected. “Just two friends hanging out.”
He smiled as he walked toward the back door. “Two friends hanging out. I can do that.” Before he closed the door. “But the difference is, I love that friend. Thank you, Autumn.” He didn’t let me respond. Instead, he just left.
I emptied the sink and dried my hands off. The words second chance continued to run around in my mind.
Then I thought about how my mom always told me everyone deserved a second chance.
Maybe Liam Hicks deserved one, too.
Maybe.
Four
Liam
“Where are we going?” I opened the passenger side door for Autumn. “Or is it a secret?”
After spending a few hours with Autumn yesterday helping sell apple pies, I actually felt nervous while heading over to pick her up. I was the fucker who stopped talking to her and freaked the fuck out. Now I was trying to beg for her forgiveness. I’m not even sure I deserved her forgiveness. Hell, if the shoe was on the other foot, I wondered if I would forgive me. I had asked myself that question several times and nine out of ten times I said no.
Autumn deserved better than me. Yet, I loved her with every fiber of my being.
“I thought we could take a drive up to Hickory and check out one of the hiking trails.” She buckled her seat belt and threw her bag down in between her legs. “Unless you had something else in mind?”
“No, that sounds great.” I sat there for a moment not moving.
“Why are you just sitting there?” She glanced around and back at me. “Did you forget how to get to Hickory?”
“No.” I chuckled and tapped on my phone screen. “But if I did, thank goodness for technology.
“Then what are we waiting for?” She seemed calm and leaned back in the seat.
“Are you sure you want to go that far away with me? Not that it’s far, but you’re stuck with me for a few hours if we go up to Hickory,” I had to ask. “What if halfway through the hike I piss you off?”
“Are you planning to piss me of
f?” She glanced my way and I noticed a small smile emerge on the corners of her lips.
“No, not even a little bit.” I just wanted to be alone with her and find a way to explain why I did what I did. There was no easy way to explain, I was an idiot and now I had to right my wrong. “I brought some food. I thought we could enjoy a picnic.”
Autumn let out a heavy sigh and turned in her seat. “Liam, let me get a few things off my chest before we go. I think you’re a jerk for ghosting me.” I tried to interject but she held up her hand to stop me. “Yesterday, when you helped in the food truck, your jerk status dropped several notches.”
“Dropped? As in moved into the good status?”
“Maybe.” She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “It’s hard saying you’re good right now.”
“Then don’t.” I knew I had a lot of work to do. It wasn’t going to be easy trying to reconnect with Autumn, but I planned to do everything I could to make it right between us. “I don’t deserve it yet. I’m just thankful you’re willing to spend time with me.”
“Yeah, well–” Then she just stopped talking.
“What?”
“Nothing.” She shook her head. “Maybe we should go.”
I scanned her face for any sign of emotion but she was holding it all in. “Sure?”
The first part of the drive was awkward. Neither one of us spoke. I didn’t know if I should put the radio on. She kept adjusting the air conditioner vents. Finally, about thirty minutes into the drive I pulled the car off to the side of the road. I pulled the keys out of the ignition and sat back in my seat.
“Liam, what are you doing?” She leaned forward and placed her hand on the dashboard. “Is there something wrong with the car.” From her expression I knew she was concerned.
“Nothing’s wrong with the car. Autumn, was this a bad idea?” I wanted her near me but not like this.
“It’s been thirty minutes. How are we supposed to know if it’s a shitty plan yet?”
“I’m sorry for what I did, Autumn.” She didn’t say anything as she leaned back in her seat. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to explain fully what happened. Most days I hate myself for ghosting you.” I paused wondering if she would say anything, but she continued to stare out the front window. “There was a couple at the college. They were on the same floor as me in the dorm. It was crazy to me but they met freshmen year in high school.” I twirled the key ring around my thumb. “They were in the same profession, same college, same everything.”
“What does this have to do with us?” She finally broke her silence and her voice was higher than normal. She had to be pissed. Well, at least it felt like it.
“I wanted to be with you. Yet, I thought I wanted the career my father plotted out so perfectly for me.” I paused before continuing. She didn’t know this part. “After six months feeling unsure about college, about everything, I left.”
She sat up. “Wait, you left? Like you didn’t get the degree?”
“No.” I dropped my head. “I left the country.”
“I’m sorry, come again?”
“Yeah, my father was furious.”
Autumn burst out laughing. It wasn’t a simple laugh either, she had tears. “I’m sorry. This is all too weird.” I needed air. Everything felt wrong. Right when I opened my door to get out she grabbed my forearm. “Liam, no, wait. I’m sorry for laughing.” She cleared her throat. “I’m not laughing at you, I swear.” I stepped out of the car and walked to the front to sit down on the hood. “Shit,” she said as she ran around to my side of the car. “Can we start over?”
“Start over? I don’t understand?”
“Let’s pretend you just arrived back in town.”
“Um, okay…” I had no idea where this was heading. She shook her body and moved her head side to side. “Are we going to dance or something for a special greeting?”
She actually smiled and swatted at my shoulder. “No, now be serious.”
I held my hands up. “I am. You’re the one that looks like you’re prepping to hit the dance floor.” This whole situation was odd. I was trying to share what really happened and find a way to win her back. She was doing some type of warm-up on the side of the road. “Listen, I didn’t just leave you. I left my family, too.”
Her eyes went wide. “You ghosted your family?”
“My dad is still not talking to me.”
“Ouch,” she leaned her body against the hood beside me. “Where did you go?”
“Ireland and Australia.”
“That’s it. You were gone for three and half years and you only explored two countries?”
“Well, I did take side trips, but mainly stayed in the two locations.” This felt good getting everything off my chest.
“So, why ghost me? I still don’t understand.”
I turned to face her. “When I left for college everything seemed perfect. Then as each day passed I felt like I was being sucked into a vortex. The longer I was away from you, the more I felt unhappy. For so long all I wanted was to be married and work on the farm with you. Then the couple in my dorm got in my head and marriage suddenly freaked me out. I hated college. All I wanted to do was lay in bed.”
“Liam, you had depression.” She grabbed my forearm.
“Well, not technically because I never went to a doctor, so I don’t know.”
“So your answer to your problems was to leave the country.”
“Hearing you say it now, I know it’s ridiculous.” I pushed off the car and turned my body away from Autumn. A part of me felt ashamed for what I had done. The other part knew it all happened for a reason. I felt stronger today. It was easier talking about everything now.
She stepped in front of me and grabbed my hands. “It’s not. Well, maybe a little. Tell me how you made the decision to leave?”
“There was a group of students preparing for a backpacking trip. I made some off-handed remark about how I should join them.” I looked down at our joined hands and then I looked back up at her. “I had to get away,” I whispered.
“They were going to Ireland and Australia?”
“Ireland. I randomly went to Australia.”
She dropped my hands and hopped onto the hood of the car. “So let me get this all straight. You basically freaked out and ran away from everything?”
I turned to face her and leaned my body against her legs. “I don’t know if freaked out is fair to say.”
“Liam, you left the country for three and half years.”
I dropped my head. “Yeah, true, I freaked out.” It felt so good getting this all off my chest. I rested my hands on her thighs. “Autumn, I stopped communication with everyone. It wasn’t just you.”
“Is that supposed to make all this feel better?”
“No.” I rubbed my hands up and down her thighs. “In my search to find happiness, one word always stayed front and center.”
“Yeah, what word?”
“Autumn.” I brushed my fingers down the side of her face. “I know what I want.”
“You can’t just walk back into my life and expect everything will go back to the way it was.” She pushed me back and hopped off the hood of the car. “It took me two years to let you go.”
“I’m willing to work for what I want. You are the moon, the stars, my everything. Tell me what I have to do to win you back.” Now I was just groveling. There was no way I was ever going to get my man card back.
“Give me time.”
“I can do that. All the time you need.”
She walked around to the passenger side and opened the door. “Maybe a hike is too much. Can you take me back home?”
I stood outside for a few more minutes. There wasn’t a day in the last three in half years where I didn’t feel regret. My time away helped me to find what I truly wanted. I just had to prove that to Autumn. The fact that she gave the green light and didn’t push me away was a start.
Five
Autumn
Three months later…
“What are you doing?” I reached for Liam’s hand and tried to pull him off the tractor. “Levi will do it.”
“He’s busy. I want to help.” He pulled away and stepped up to sit down on the small seat. “Besides, I need to earn my keep around here.”
Liam was still trying to find a way to apologize even after three months of being back on the farm. We spent the first month in that awkward phase. I wasn’t sure if we would even survive. Everything just felt off. Then one day we were working in the gift shop. I was scheduling social media posts and editing photos. Out of the blue, Liam grabbed my hand and tugged me close to his body. He laced his fingers behind my neck and told me how much he loved me.
I realized at that moment it was pointless to deny my feelings any longer. He was wrong for ghosting me, but he had spent countless hours trying to make up for his mistakes. We were the only ones in the store and thank goodness, too. I don’t know what came over me but I practically accosted him on the table full of handmade scarves and mittens. The only thing stopping that moment from going any further was Olivia. She just happened to walk in at the right time.
“You need to stop saying shit like that.” I rolled my eyes and turned to walk away.
“Wait.” He hopped down off the tractor and ran up behind me. “What do you mean?”
I turned around and pointed my index finger at him and tapped it hard on his chest. “You’ve earned your keep. Actually, you’ve gone above and beyond.”
He grabbed my finger and rested his hand against his chest. “Are we really okay, Autumn?”
“Why would you ask me that?” I pulled my hand away. “I’m honestly tired of talking about it. I just want to move on.”
“I don’t think that’s true.” He shoved his hands in his pants pockets. “Except for the day in the gift shop, you have been avoiding me.”
