I hadn’t seen my sweet boy in three years.
Three years, fourteen days, nine and a half hours.
My lip quivered as I shook with a chill unbecoming of summer in—where were we, again?—California. I think, at least. I gripped the sheets of the bed, knowing if they heard me crying, I’d go without food again. I’d lost so much weight in their care. Not that I had much of it to lose in the beginning. I’d always been small. Petite, was what my parents called me.
Until they kicked me out onto the damn street.
Did Mason think I’d abandoned him? Was that what Vlad told him? For all I knew, they were brainwashing my son to think like them. Walk like them. Talk like them. And it made me infuriated. My tears dried up and a renewed sense of vigor filled me. No matter what happened to me, I had to free my son from the confines of this Hell he’d been born into. A Hell only befitting of the Devil himself.
But I simply called him Vlad.
My mind darted away from my son and crashed right into another memory. The only memory that kept my fear of sex abated. Saint. That moment we spent together after school.
I smiled against the pillow as a soft giggle fell from my lips.
“I hope you’re doing well,” I croaked out.
I thought about that moment we shared together. A one-off moment after we’d been exchanging glances all throughout mathematics class. I was running on the treadmill in our high school gym. He’d come in and weight train with the football team and eyeball me every time we were together in that place. I’d walk off the treadmill, swaying my hips a little deeper. Smiling whenever I caught him staring at me.
Then, one afternoon, he followed me into the girl’s locker room.
I gasped as he gripped my shoulder. I squealed as he whipped me around. My toes tingled with delight when he crashed his sweaty lips against mine, tasting like the smell of the ocean that surrounded me. Every time I breathed it, I was reminded of him. Reminded of the salted taste of his skin as he hoisted me against that wall. As he dropped his workout shorts. As he took what he wanted—with me freely giving it—as a token of the childlike lust we had for one another back in high school.
How I wished I would have covered up those hickies better on my neck.
Saint had been kind to me. Courteous. After our moment—where I gave him my everything—he carried me into the shower. Held my limp, spent body against his as he sat down, allowing the cool water to pour over us. Cool us down before he cranked up the steaming water. And as that steam enveloped us, we made love again. Two strangers who had wanted one another for months, finally getting their chance.
Why the fuck didn’t I cover up those hickies well enough from my parents?
After they saw them on my neck, they freaked the hell out. Called me a whore. Told me I’d disobeyed God’s commandments for my life. They took me to mass, where I had to sit in confession and tell the priest every little thing I’d done with him. With my parents standing right outside, despite the priest’s insistence that confession was private. They went on a rampage, trying to cleanse me of my sins.
But my father told me I was damaged. That not even God could love me after something like that.
The tears returned as my thoughts of Saint faded away.
“I should’ve come and found you,” I whispered through my tears.
I wished with all my might I would’ve contacted him after my parents kicked me to the curb. Had I just gone to school and told someone—told him—things might’ve turned out differently. But my parents had me petrified that if I reached out for help, they’d bury me. Make my life a living Hell, like they figured I deserved. It was easier to sleep in dumpsters and live on the street than it was to go to school and admit to all this. Admit to any of it. Admit that I was a whore, and that my parents couldn't stand to look at me anymore because of it.
I let my pride get in the way. My fear.
And now? I was property of someone else. Another, more sinister, family.
“And they have my son,” I whispered.
I only had two dreams since the day I came under contract with the mafia. I dreamt of seeing my son again, and I dreamt of seeing Sant again. I dreamt of contacting him. Of showing up at his doorstep with Mason in my arms and watching him freely offer us shelter. Food. Kindness, in the face of the Hell I’d lived through.
Then, I’d wake up.
It wasn’t like Saint would accept me anyway. Not with the secrets I held. Not with the life I’d led. There was no way in Hell a sane, grown man like him would now get wrapped up in all this. And I didn’t even know where he was now. Was he still living in Kansas? Had he branched out and found his own life? Was he married? With kids that adored him?
I bet he’d be a wonderful father.
The locks were thrown on the door, interrupting my thoughts. I quickly turned over, gasping and wiping at my face. I sat up, curling my legs underneath me before fluffing my hair over my shoulders. I had to look presentable. And if I looked like I’d been crying again, I’d get a damn good beating after this customer came for what they paid for.
Because that was what I did for the mafia now. I’d been sold into sexual slavery. Men got to sleep with me in any way they chose—no matter the pain inflicted upon me—for a price. They’d turned me into a prostitute. They held my son’s life over my head in order to garner my obedience.
And every fucking tactic they’d used up until this point worked.
Because you’re weak in spirit, my child. Because you won’t turn to God and seek strength, my child. Now, look at you. A slave to sex. I never thought I’d see the day.
How ironic my father’s last words were to me.
Maybe I did deserve all this after what happened between me and Saint.
I watched the door open and I sniffled one last time. Then, I put on my best seductive face. I tried to gird myself for whatever was about to happen. Would he pin me to the bed? Slap me around? Beat me unconscious before taking what he wanted? Would he tie me up and torture me to the ends of the earth before coming all over my face? Or would he want to make slow, sweet love while calling me someone else’s name?
The door finally swung open and there were two people standing there. One, I recognized. The guard that always stood just outside my door. And in his grasp, a woman. She cursed and kicked about. I watched him toss her into the room before she scrambled to her feet. She got up and charged the door. She yelled and screamed, crying out for her “father” and wanting to talk to “Cage.”
At least, I think that was what she said. Tears took a hold of her voice as she dropped to her knees.
“One more outburst from you and I’ll show you what you can do to put that mouth to good use,” the man growled.
“I’d listen to him. Because he’s serious,” I said coolly.
The woman whipped her head around to face me, and in the very small light we were afforded, I saw the fear in her eyes. The look of terror as she sat down in front of the door. She curled her knees up to her chest, hugging them with arms I wish I had. She still looked healthy. Not starved and frail, like me over time. She was new to all this. New to what they were doing.
And if there was anything I could do, it was show her the ropes to keep her from being tortured. Like I had been.
“I’m Amberly,” I said.
The woman looked at me but didn’t say anything.
“They like me using the name ‘Destiny.’ But, it’s really Amberly,” I said.
“How do we get out of here? Is there an exit?” she asked.
I sighed before I shook my head, feeling my heart drop to my stomach.
“No. There isn’t,” I said.
“There has to be something. He doesn’t just—”
I furrowed my brow at her words before she cut them off. Keeping the rest of it to herself.
“My eye hurts,” she said softly.
“I’m actually surprised that’s all that hurts,” I said.
She snickered. “I’ve gotten
used to everything else. The eye is simply recent.”
I nodded slowly as I slipped off the bed. I walked over to her and dipped down, getting onto my knees in front of her. It was a position that had been ingrained into me from the start. Beaten into me, really. It was my natural state, on my knees in front of someone. Anyone. No matter who it was. And as the light softly shone on her face, I saw she was pretty beaten up.
I took her chin softly in between my fingers, clocking all her bruises and scrapes and cuts before I got up.
“Let me clean you up,” I said.
“You don’t have to do anything,” she murmured.
“Well, I’m all you’ve got. Take it or leave it.”
And when she didn’t fight, I ran cool and warm water over some washcloths. She had a split lip that needed cleaning. A swollen eye that needed some ice against it. Ligature marks that could do with a nice wipe down just to soothe the burning. She also had a gash on her forehead, though it looked almost as if it had been ripped open several times.
I didn’t know who this girl was, but I was selfishly glad to have some company.
Even if it wasn’t the kind of company I dreamt of every night.
3
Saint
Bear and I took off before the scout patrols began that night, and we took the long way around the town. I knew exactly where Rodney was. Where his estate was and all that shit. But I wanted to do some scouting. Keep my eyes peeled for anything that could seem off. Or strange. Or out of place. Bear and I rode around in silence, constantly interchanging who was in front and who brought up the rear. And like we were asked, we were in civilian clothes. No one was wearing their crew leathers. Plus, I’d taken the time to cover up the massive upside-down red cross on the side of my bike.
Though, it matched the upside-down cross I had tattooed down the length of my spine.
“I don't see shit, Saint,” Bear said.
The Bluetooth microphone came alive in my ear as we took a sharp left.
“We’re still twenty minutes out from Rodney’s. So, keep an eye out,” I said.
“Who’s this Rodney guy anyway?” he asked.
I fell silent at his question, though.
I had some contacts in the area. Ever since I’d fled to the outskirts of the state and tried making a life for myself. I didn’t know what I wanted as a teenager. Fresh out of high school after being kicked out of my parents’ place. I stayed long enough to barely skirt by with my grades. Then, I sold off my shit, packed my bags, and bought a bus ticket to California.
And the first person I met in the area while I slept in alleyways was Rodney.
Bear didn’t need to know all that shit, though. I kept my past close to my chest because the past was the past. No use dwelling on it, unless it was relevant. And the only issue I had with bringing Bear along on this ride like Diesel asked was because my past was now becoming relevant. If I answered the wrong question the wrong way, I’d be done. The barrage of questions wouldn't stop until my entire fucking bullshit past was out there for everyone to digest.
I was more like Toxin in that regard.
No one need to know my story like that.
I merged into the right-hand lane and got in front of Bear. I signaled for him to follow me as we got closer to the massive compound we were headed for. I waved my fingers in the air, beckoning for him and telling him to keep a tail on me. Then, I kicked up the pace. I weaved in and out of traffic, dead set that we weren’t going to find anything on our patrol. And while I still kept somewhat of an eye out, my attention was now solely on getting to Rodney’s place.
Again, without too many questions.
“Holy shit,” Bear murmured.
I pulled up to the wrought iron gate that encased the “compound.” Or, rather, the very large, beachside, upscale neighborhood. I punched in Rodney’s code I’d memorized by heart. A code that hadn’t changed since the first day he brought me here after finding me surviving off dollar menus at the nearest fast food place. I saw the red light come on, indicating that Rodney was using his camera to identify who I was.
And when I looked straight into the camera, the gates opened.
“Where the hell are we?” Bear asked.
“Rodney’s neighborhood,” I said plainly.
“I mean, fucking obviously, Saint. But where exactly are we?”
“I call it ‘the compound.’”
As I eased myself through the gate, I drove slowly through the neighborhood. I tried not to make too much noise, because there were a lot of people in this place that were jumpy. On the outside, it looked like an upscale neighborhood. Full of rich bitches and momma’s boys that were spoiled fucking rotten. But what people didn’t know was that Rodney owned this place. Owned this compound. And he stocked these seaside mansions with associates of his. People he worked with that were higher up the food chain so he could easily access them. And keep tabs on them.
But again, Bear didn’t need to know all that shit. Because for what it was worth, I wasn’t even sure Diesel knew that shit.
“You sure we aren’t gonna get our asses handed to us?” Bear asked.
I pulled into Rodney’s driveway. “Do we look like we’re in a place where we’re going to get gunned down in the street?”
“I mean, you never know with these kinds of places.”
“We’re fine. Now, tuck it in. Rodney doesn’t like those that are weak.”
“How do you know this dude again?”
“We go back,” I said flatly.
As I pulled my helmet off, my newest tattoo burned a bit. A botched Bible verse I got tattooed in red and black shadowed block letters across my chest. It was a Bible verse that was pounded into me as a child. Metaphorically, and literally. My parents were absolute religious nuts. Bible-thumping Baptists from Louisiana that used their source text of peace to make my life a living fucking nightmare. My tattoo read, “I can do all things through Myself, who strengthens me.”
And I swear to fuck, them kicking me out was the best thing they ever did for me.
As the tattoo burned, my life flashed before my eyes. Catholic school. The nuns that failed me on tests because I challenged their views. Being kicked out and how disappointed my parents were. Them sending me to public school to show me what being a “sinner kid” looked like.
Meeting Amberly…
“You good?” Bear asked.
I cleared my throat.
“Yep. Good to go,” I said.
I tucked my helmet underneath my arm, an action I’d made habit after having my first helmet stolen from me. We walked up to the front door and I used the massive knocker to bang on the beautiful wooden door. It was hand-carved, one of Rodney’s prized possessions when it came to his seaside mansion. Lumbering footsteps sounded behind the door. The thumping of a cane. I grinned as Rodney came toward us with that familiar cadence to the way he walked.
Then, he opened the door and smiled.
“Long time, no see,” Rodney said.
“I see you’re still limping on that cane. Care to explain?” I asked.
“Ah, it’s easier than physical therapy.”
“And since when have you ever done easy?”
“Since I found myself a woman that wears me out in bed.”
“Rodney!? Who’s at the door?”
A woman’s voice rang out through the foyer and my eyebrows raised. I held out my hand and shook his, then pulled him into a back-patting hug. I introduced Bear, who practically dwarfed the lean and trim man in front of me. And after introductions were finished, he beckoned for the new woman in his life to head upstairs.
“Will you be joining me soon enough, handsome?” she asked.
“If that’s what you wish, beautiful,” Rodney said, grinning.
Bear chuckled as my grin grew into a smile. We paid our respects by not staring too hard at the long-legged, busty beauty that walked down the hallway. I quirked an eyebrow at Rodney as her thick ass swayed walking up the steps. And it
wasn’t until we heard his bedroom door close down the second-floor hallway that I closed the front door behind me.
“Well, she’s really something,” I said.
“Oh, I promise she is,” Rodney said, winking.
“I like him already,” Bear said.
“Does he know how we know one another?” Rodney asked.
I shrugged. “He knows enough.”
“Don’t worry. He’s got a lot of questions about his past he’ll be answering later,” Bear said.
Rodney and I fell silent at the accusation, though. If Bear really thought I was talking about shit like that, he had another thing coming. I wasn’t talking about anything I didn’t have to. Not when it came to my parents, and especially not when it came to Amberly. The last thing I needed was some pussy-hypnotized dudes encouraging me to go find her after all these years. The last thing I needed was someone coddling me about my past and putting it in my head that “your life’s better now” and “your parents are assholes” and “you should pay them a visit to show them the man you’ve grown into.”
Because if I visited my parents under any circumstances, I wasn’t too sure I wouldn't kill them.
“Well, the two of you care for a drink?” Rodney asked.
Before we could answer, he turned around and leaned heavily on his cane. He lumbered down the hallway, and I smacked my hand against Bear’s chest. I shot him a glare, telling him silently to keep his fucking mouth shut. Then, I followed Rodney. We all walked down the hardwood-laden hallway, underneath the vaulted hallway ceiling before we were dumped into a pristine kitchen. Stainless steel appliances that hardly looked touched. Marble countertops that brought up the pale blue color of the crown molding. I smiled as I took it all in. When I bunked with Rodney after he’d found me that day, he let me stay with him. For a price, of course. I had to help him with some renovation shit around his house. Keep an eye on contractors and the like. I ended up helping more than keeping an eye out on things and learned a lot of valuable lessons when it came to fixing shit. Installing shit. Making shit from scratch work in the moment.
Saint: Dead Souls MC: Prospects #3 Page 2
