“No,” he said quietly. And he didn’t mind, not in the least.
But he had to admit that he was confused.
Nearly everything she did confused him.
CHAPTER TEN
PAIRCE GIGGLED AS she shook out the cloak she’d brought down for Cadon. “Oh, dear, it really is far too small for you. I thought it would be short, but I thought it’d be usable at least. I don’t think it is.”
He took it from her. “It’ll be fine.”
“No,” she said. “It’s cold outside. Too cold to go out without a cloak. Take a blanket and wrap it around your neck. It’ll work better.”
“Well, I suppose that might work.”
She giggled some more as they got a blanket around him and tied it off to allow him use of his arms. He laughed too.
And then they were walking together, out of the dungeons and through the path she’d made for them, up an alternate staircase and then through a hallway to another door. She’d made sure there were no torches or lamps in their way, so they moved through the darkness and then…
Outside.
They stepped into the moonlight and the starlight, and she could see him again. Since they’d been almost in complete darkness before, her eyes were wide open to collect what little light there was, and she felt as if she could see him very well, even in the scant light of the stars and moon.
He had high, strong cheekbones and light eyes. His hair hung past his shoulders, and he had been wearing it hanging free since getting free from the Cowntess’s dungeons. He looked beautiful and strong, and she gazed up at him, her breath catching in her throat.
“There you are,” he murmured. He reached out and brushed his thumb over her cheekbone. “It’s lovely to be able to look at you.”
She thought she might have been blushing. What was he that he made her blush, after all this time? She turned away, feeling out of sorts.
He put his arm around her, drawing her under his blanket-cloak. “Where do we walk to?”
“These used to be gardens,” she said, gesturing. “They’re a tangled mess now, but I think there are still paths. Shall we do that?”
“Yes,” he said, and she could hear in his voice that he was smiling.
So, then they walked.
She was tucked against him, and he was large and warm, and she liked it here, close to him. She couldn’t help but sigh, and she rested the palm of her hand against his wide, firm chest, thinking of how enormous he was, how virile and how very, very male.
Why was she afraid of falling for this man?
He wasn’t like the other men she’d been with. He wasn’t paying her. He wasn’t trying to use her. She thought he truly cared for her, and she wasn’t sure why that was terrifying.
However, it was.
They walked in silence for some time. She could tell that he was taking everything in. He’d been locked in darkness for so long, and this was the first time he could see anything at all. It must feel quite good after all that time.
Indeed, he stopped in the middle of one of the narrow, overgrown paths in what remained of the garden and threw his head back, gazing up at the stars. All the while, he clutched her to him, and she wriggled close.
Then he lowered his head, looked down at her, and his lips came for hers.
Her eyes slammed shut.
The kiss was like the night itself, dark and welcoming and good.
He pulled away and then kissed the bridge of her nose and then her forehead. Then he tucked her head against his chest and peered up at the sky again.
She wrapped her arms as far around his broad chest as she could manage. “Why did you hate being a cownt?”
“Hmm.” He mused as he watched the night sky. “I suppose it’s the unnaturalness of it all. When I was a boy, I spent most of my time on a country estate like this, and I ran wild in the fields and swam naked in the streams that cut through the woods, and in the winter, I tunneled into the snow and followed the footprints of animals far and wide over the white drifts. Then, suddenly, I was a man, and I had to be stuffed into jackets and neckbows and waistcoats and forced to say polite things at tea and listen while everyone commented on how thin and scrawny I was.” He sighed.
“You like the outdoors?” said Pairce. “The country?”
“I think…” He licked his lips. “I think I like the freedom of it, the lack of duties and strictures. Being a cownt, everyone’s watching you, and one wrong step and you’re suddenly socially ruined.” He pulled her closer. “You needn’t worry. If you are to set up a dress-making shop, I know it must be in a city, and I’d rather be near you than able to run wild in the fields.”
Her heart squeezed. He was talking of a future for them, the both of them, together. She tugged his face down and kissed him again.
He obliged her, tangling his hand into her hair, cupping the back of her head as his tongue moved like liquid darkness against hers. He sighed against her. “I just don’t yet know what I’m going to do with myself.”
“We can figure that out,” she said softly.
It was quiet as they gazed at each other.
“Should we walk more?” she said.
“We should,” he said.
And they did.
They made the circuit of the garden, coming back to where they began.
“We could wander afield,” she said, gesturing.
“You seem cold,” he said, his voice a rumble in the darkness.
“I’m all right,” she said.
“We can walk again tomorrow night,” he said. “Let’s get you back inside.”
“But if you’re enjoying the freedom—”
“I want you to stay with me tonight,” he said. “Will you? In my bed?”
Her lips parted.
“I’m not saying we…” He swallowed. “I’m asking you to sleep in my arms is all, not to rut with me.” He let out a chagrined sigh. “Blazes, that’s not the word I meant.”
“I don’t mind that word,” she said. “Yes, I would love to sleep in your arms, to share your bed.”
It took them a while to get back to his room, as they kept pausing here and there on the journey for long, long interludes of kissing. Inside, in the stairwell, he pressed her back into the wall and put his mouth to her neck, to her earlobe, to her clavicle.
When they did get back, they had a hasty conversation against each other’s lips about how uncomfortable it would be to sleep in their clothes, and then they kept kissing as they undressed each other.
Then, she was very cold, so she got under the blankets quickly and clung to his heat to warm up.
There was more kissing, and not just of her neck and shoulders and mouth. His lips strayed to the valley between her breasts and then to her nipples, and she slid her hands into his long hair and held him against her, moaning and sighing at the pleasure that was building in her.
She was overtaken by its goodness, reveling in each caress and kiss, each stroke of his tongue, and she felt the time begin to slip away as the sweetness of it mounted in her.
At one point, he lifted his face to look at her. “I want to try something,” he said.
She was too lost to the pleasant sensations he awoke within her to know what to say, so she just touched his face, trailed her fingers over his neck.
“But I’ve never done it before,” he said, “so I might need your help.”
Now, dimly, curiosity began to stir within her.
He kissed the undersides of both of her breasts and then the middle of her abdomen.
She gasped, starting to have an idea what was happening.
He kissed the place where her belly protruded and then he kissed her mound.
“I…” Her voice wasn’t strong. “I don’t know if I’ll be much help. I’m afraid no one’s ever done this to me.”
He looked up at her, grinning. “Truly?”
She bit down on her bottom lip.
“Well, we’ll muddle through together.” He sounded amused. Then he
turned his attention back between her thighs.
She let out a whoosh of air when his mouth made contact with her sensitive flesh.
Then he flicked his tongue over her, and she cried out.
“Found that easily,” he murmured. “Getting better at that.”
She let out a helpless laugh. His breath tickled her there, and it was delicious.
“Was that too much?” he said. “Is this better?” And then his tongue against her, soft, barely tracing her.
She moaned, rolling her hips against him.
He chuckled. “Well?”
She arched her back, shutting her eyes. “Do them both again? I can’t be sure.”
He chuckled again, pleased with himself.
She let out a giggle, and she didn’t think she’d ever felt quite this happy in her entire life. But her laughter died when his mouth moved on her again, and all she could do was whimper.
“I think,” she gasped, “that you should… start gentler and then get more… forceful as you go.”
“Mmm.” His voice vibrated against her and this made her moan. “How will I know when to get more forceful? Will you direct me?”
“Of course,” she gasped.
But she didn’t. He went at her, and she lost the ability to form words. Well, that wasn’t true. She seemed to remember a few. Yes. Good. More. Cadon. These she whispered and sobbed and groaned and screamed in no particular order, over and over, until she was bucking against him, her thighs wracked with powerful tremors that radiated out from her pelvis.
Then, it was too intense, and she still couldn’t talk, so she reached down and grabbed his shoulders to stop him. She thrust her hand between her legs, pressing against herself, and the tremors rose and crested again.
She panted.
“All right?” he said, sounding concerned.
“Just… can’t…” She couldn’t explain. She tugged on him, pulling his face up to her own so that she could kiss him again.
After they’d kissed thoroughly, and she was wrung out and finished, lying limply on the bed, she tried to speak and catch her breath at the same time. “It just… it got too much. When I’m in the middle of a climax, I can’t bear the stimulation.”
“I see,” he said, and he was amused again.
“I thought you could tell. Last time, you said you felt me convulse against your fingers.”
“I’ll do better next time.” Now, he was laughing at her.
“You…” She panted. “Of course you don’t need to do better. Of course it was perfect. Of course you’re perfect.”
“There you go, saying that again,” he said.
She pushed herself up on one hand. “What about you? Should I put my mouth on you now?”
“Lie down, Pairce.” He was still laughing.
“But it’s not fair. You did this positively marvelous thing to me, and now I should—”
“Lie down,” he said, giving her a gentle shove.
She fell back into the pillows. “But what about you?”
“I want it to be about you,” he said. “Only you. Because you said that your pleasure has been neglected so often, I thought this time, this one time—”
“I don’t want you to suffer because I suffered,” she said. Her hand was moving through the sheets to find him. “Besides, I like your cock. It’s very large and intriguing. And I want you to come.”
“I don’t need to.”
“You do.” She tried to touch him, but he evaded her, moving out of her grasp.
“Then I’ll do it,” he said. “You don’t need to do anything.” Now, he was kissing her, and she could tell he was touching himself.
She shut her eyes and relaxed.
It didn’t take him long. She supposed it had aroused him to put his mouth between her legs. She knew that she found it arousing—sometimes—to have a man’s cock in her mouth, so she guessed it worked similarly for him.
She shut her eyes, feeling sleepy and sated. She made a little humming noise, and he echoed it.
He drew her back into his arms, and she snuggled into him, feeling as if she belonged here, as if she fit perfectly against him.
“Cadon,” she whispered. “Yes. Good.”
He made a half-chuckle against the crown of her head. “Pairce. You are perfect.”
SEFONI WAS SURPRISED when she found Haid already in a nightshirt and his small clothes, sprawled out on top of the covers of his father’s bed, poring over a ledger in the light of a candle.
“I didn’t think you’d be in here.”
“We said we were sleeping here,” he said.
“But you said you don’t like this room.”
“I’m fine. I don’t want to talk about that.” He hadn’t looked up from the ledger.
“I…” She twisted her hands together. “I need to get undressed and ready for bed.”
“All right,” he said.
She twisted them tighter. “All right. I guess you’re not really paying any attention.”
“You don’t want me to look?” He chuckled into the ledger. “I’ve already seen you without your clothes. On more than one occasion.”
This made her feel worse, and she turned her back on him and began to try to undress. The problem with it all was that her buttons were difficult to reach. She contorted herself for several minutes and managed to reach them, getting three of them undone.
Then she decided she was being foolish. Yes, if she’d been alone, and there had been no other option, she could have managed it. But he was right there, and if he helped, it would go more quickly.
“Can you help me?” she said.
“What?” The sound of him moving off the bed. “Oh, of course. Apologies. I didn’t realize before that you were asking… They do make women’s clothes dreadfully difficult to remove, don’t they?”
She laughed. “They do. I think it’s precisely for the purpose of giving maids a job.”
“Ah, and here I thought it was some attempt to protect a woman’s virtue,” he said, and he was behind her, deftly working at her buttons.
“Well, then it should be harder to get dresses off unmarried women than married ones.”
“Yes,” he said. “I would like you to wear clothing that’s easily removed.”
She flushed, feeling his words rush through her. There he was, saying things like that again.
His fingers stopped moving. “Well, there you are, then.”
“Thank you.” She stepped away from him and turned around.
He was standing there, gazing at her.
“Are you just going to… to watch?”
“Not if you don’t want me to.”
She flushed again.
“Well?” He raised his eyebrows. “Tell me to look away if you like.”
She licked her lips, but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she deliberately let her dress fall away.
A languid smile spread across his face.
The stays she were wearing laced in the front, and she untied and loosened them herself. All the while she held his gaze, smiling back at him.
When she pulled her stays over her head, his gaze shifted immediately to the skin she’d uncovered.
“There they are,” he said.
She started to cover herself, but then stopped. She liked it when he looked at her. So, she stepped out of her petticoats and then spread her hands, as if to say, Here I am.
His smile deepened. It was mischievous. “There’s all of you.”
“Yes,” she said.
He tilted his head to one side. “I appreciate the view, but I have to say I’m rather confused about this, love.”
“What are you confused about?”
“You want us in the same bed, you’re undressing yourself for me, and a man might get the impression that you were quite willing to give yourself to him.”
Give herself to him? Oh, why did those words make her feel off balance in such a sweet way? “Yes,” she said. “I would like it if we were together
again.” She took a step toward him.
“But I did say we shouldn’t, didn’t I? And you seem to be clinging to this idea that you might not be with child. If you were, then… it wouldn’t matter, but…” He sighed. “So. I’m confused.”
“I want you,” she said. “You want me too. I don’t see why it has to be confusing.”
“You don’t want my child,” he said.
“I do,” she said, but she sounded defensive, even to her own ears.
He chuckled softly. “Oh, that was convincing.”
“I…” She swallowed. If she told him the truth now, he’d be angry, and he wouldn’t take her to bed. He’d probably insist on sleeping elsewhere, and she’d be left alone in this room. Now that she was thinking about Haid’s murderous father, she’d probably have nightmares. “Didn’t we say we weren’t going to talk about this?”
“I don’t think I said that.”
“Let’s not talk at all right now, Haid.” She closed the distance between them and went for his small clothes.
“Oh, that’s underhanded,” he said in a low, approving voice.
“You helped me undress. Only returning the favor, that’s all.”
He chuckled again. “If I don’t stop myself, Sefoni… will you forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive.” She kissed him.
“Will I forgive myself?” he said against her mouth.
She pulled away, looking into his eyes. One of her hands darted through the flap in his underclothes, finding him. He was half-hard, but when she grasped him, he stiffened in her hand, and this made her feel powerful and excited, and she kissed him again, harder.
He groaned. His hand came up to touch her. He slid it up over her hip and over her rib cage and closed it over one of her breasts.
She stroked him.
He kissed his way from her mouth to her other breast, and then she was lost to his attentions there, which engulfed her. He touched and suckled and teased her nipples stiff until she cried out and sighed and gasped against him.
Somehow, they ended up on the bed, and he was over her for a while, and one of his hands was between her legs as well, and she felt as if she was in the midst of a storm, as if the pleasure was wave after wave of soaking rain, drenching her and making her feel alive and bright and free.
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