by Namita Singh
to fade away as Neal’s aura disappears from the distance. I stand there, dumbfounded as he disappears from my line of sight. I remain in a stupor for several seconds, trying to comprehend the incomprehensible state because of which I feel locked on my place. As I come to my senses, I realize what has me frozen on the spot.
Neal just touched me.
It was just a friendly punch, expressed as a gesture of goodbye by Neal, but still, he touched me. Ethan’s explanation behind the physical intimacy had obviously raised my expectations regarding this particular sensation. Like those flimsy moments, upon Ethan words, I started to expect a simple touch from my partner to set butterflies in my stomach, to send pleasurable shivers down my spine or be like an electric current passing through my system, making me feel all sorts of mushy things.
But my partner’s touch is nothing of those sorts.
Not to be mistaken, it is definitely a good feeling. More good than I can ever explain in words. But it isn’t any of those clichéd sensations. It is simply an overdose of Neal’s aura. As Ethan said, the energy waves emitted from Neal’s body enter without dilution into my own. The end result is me feeling as exceptionally happy and excited as Neal’s aura generally exhibits, and at the same time feeling aesthetically calm at feeling so. The additional power in his aura just enhances the feeling even more.
It is one thing to just sense his aura at a distance and be beguiled by or faintly feel the unmistakable exhilaration he disposes and it is totally different to first-hand experience the emotions that result into that exhilarated state; to experience that positive apprehension predisposed in Neal’s aura. That…that had felt nice. And the touch hadn’t even lasted two seconds. I can understand now why Ethan said that I’ll start desiring the touch. It is somewhat like marijuana but with addiction being the only side effect. Or, in Neal’s nerdy terminology, it maybe something like my battery charger or maybe a software installed for a better performance, only with the added benefit of felicitousness.
My whole day passes by in daydreams of Neal’s fleeting touch and the news that he isn’t dating Tan-Ananya. The whole thing has me in such a good mood, that I do not even pause to ponder over how gay, pun intended, I am being. The irrational part of me argues that non-sexually enjoying a guy’s touch doesn’t make me gay. Even my happiness behind Ananya and Neal not dating may be explained as a subconscious need to have most of the attention of my partner on me, in a non-gay way of course. My explanations to myself are as vague in intensity as the impact of Ananya and Duato’s revealed relation to me. I let myself bask in my ludicrous reasoning, not letting myself feel discomforted by how preposterously happy I am being over such a futile event.Even my ‘friends’ gossiping about the fight that took place in the morning doesn’t bother me.
As predicted by Neal, the news of Duato’s suspension spreads by the time it’s lunch. Some people mistake my happiness to be because of that. Well, I am not clearing that doubt. Aakir has a knowing look on his face but thankfully he is enough sensible to not tease me about it and destroy my own personal sanctuary. I make plans to meet Neal at the end of the day but realize that he is supposed to meet the principal at that time. Dejected, I follow Aakir home.
My mood remains uplifted through the day though.
Ethan and Vincent have been here for four days and five nights. They have taken upon themselves to explore the city of Liepāja. Though my family members are ready to take leaves from their work alternatively, to be Ethan and Vincent’s guide, the latter refuses that sort of assistance. They are accustomed to exploring lands on their own and are glad enough that we are letting them stay at our place. We did take the job of making their itinerary. Now they return late in the evening every day, showing the various pictures they took all day long. Both of them will make sure to talk to me every night, telling me more and more about how to go about my situation.
I have found myself relating to more of Vincent’s past situation, so I generally end up asking him about his experiences during his dilemma. Vincent is more factual in expression, as opposed to Ethan who functions on emotions more. They are like the opposite hands, different in functioning but perfect when entwined together.Moreover, I have noticed that Vincent is more at ease when Ethan is around, even if the latter doesn’t talk. The mere presence of his partner is enough for Vincent.
Despite their disinclination towards me developing only a friendly relationship with my partner, I have resolutely remained fixed upon my decision. Even my absurd happy state has not managed to shake that decision of mine. And just a week full of insightful conversation with Ethan and Vincent wouldn’t nearly be enough to suddenly make me romantically like my partner. Ethan and Vincent, despite being confident upon my failure, encourage me to pursue the situation as I see wise. Both prominently push me to focus on developing a very close friendship with Neal, something to which I am not at all opposed.
The next day I find myself in an equally good mood. So is Aakir for that matter, as he has plans to see his partner at the end of the school. The whole morning I keep contemplating if I should casually ask Neal to just hang out. Our last jaunt may have been a failure, not to mention incredibly awkward but I still expect agreement from Neal for another get together, owing to our improving rapport since last week. This time I would not want many of our friends to be around either, though I will be taking Neal’s opinion into consideration.
As luck may have it, I encounter Neal while exiting the school doors. I had just been on the verge of sending him a message but there won’t be any need anymore. He is with Ananya, as predicted.
“Hey, Neal.” Aakir greets my partner more enthusiastically than I do.
“Hey.” Neal smiles back. I greet Ananya politely, to which she sweetly replies. Somehow she looks much sweeter today than she already is, probably because now she is not my partner’s girlfriend. But I don’t linger on the thought.
“So, is your paper going to be less of some of the articles this Monday?” I ask Neal, referring to his discussion with Ivanov yesterday.
“No, not really.” Neal replies as we walk towards the school gates, “Ivanov Sir objected to certain things, but I persuaded him otherwise.”
“I think he has a soft spot for you.” I tell him, “He is very strict otherwise.”
“It’s the perks of being an overall good student for years.” Neal smiles, tightlipped.
“Neal doesn’t write lies.” Ananya says, “And students don’t object to mild gossip-”
“-they encourage it.” Aakir nods.
“-Yes, right. So, Ivanov sir anyways didn’t have much of a ground to stop Neal.” Ananya finishes, smiling at Neal. Neal is smiling back at her, his lips twisted upward on the left side, as if he is smirking. “You’re sure, you don’t want a ride?” Ananya asks Neal.
“Nah, I’ll be good. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Ananya says goodbye to me and Aakir. She kisses Neal on the cheek before departing towards the parking lot. Neal silently begins to walk along us towards the school gates.
“Didn’t get your car?” Aakir asks him, looking as much befuddled as me to see Neal walking along us towards the exit of the school.
“It got busted in the morning.” Neal replies, a twinge of irritation in his voice, “It wouldn’t start. I have left it at the mechanic’s. I’ll be going there now.”
“You’re going to walk?” I ask him. The nearest mechanic is a mile away. But I really doubt Neal’s car betrayed him this near to school. But in any case, if he is planning to walk, which is unlikely, I may accompany him. A good reason to hang out with him.
Neal laughs, “No, Lichinsky.” He shakes his head, grinning, “It’s with the mechanic near my place. Not a short enough distance for me to walk. I’ll take the bus.” He sobers up, now looking ahead of us, “I am travelling in public transport after a long time.” He says in a quiet voice.
I smirk, “Do you need a babysitter?”
Aakir chuckles.
Neal shoots me a dirty loo
k, “Speak for yourself, Lichinsky.”
“Well,” I drawl, “I am not the one used to with shiny cars.”
“Ahan, you’re only used to a perfect family that doesn’t require a babysitter.” He retorts, smirking.
“You say that as if that’s a bad thing.”
“Well,” Neal begins.
“What’s he doing here?” Aakir interrupts.
Neal and I break our bantering and look at what Aakir’s indicating. Standing at our school gates, looking as much a tourist as he actually is, is our American guy, Ethan. He is nonchalantly standing there in his Bermuda shorts, wearing a tourist hat and adorning a DSLR camera over his neck. He spots us in the distance or more like senses our auras as Aakir and I have sensed him. He is grinning as he awaits us.
“I don’t know.” I say, surprised.
“Your dad?” Neal asks skeptically, as we three walk towards the gates.
I look at him with disbelief, “Does he look like my dad?” Ethan is a red head, for fuck sake.
“I was asking Aakir.” He ripostes, being a smarty pants.
Aakir chuckles, “Dude, I don’t have a dad. He is a…family friend of ours. He is staying at our place.”
“Don’t have a dad?” Neal splutters. He winces at how blunt his question comes out. “I am sorry.”
“No problem.” Aakir grins, indicating that he doesn’t mind. And he
