“Oh God, please give me strength,” he whispered and then clamped his mouth shut, amazed that talking to God had returned to him so easily. Something about last night, thinking Emma was in danger and then finding her safe and sound had thawed his icy heart a bit. The warmth spreading through his soul felt good.
Trevor shook his head and pushed the thoughts away. He had an hour to work with the new horse in the stables and couldn’t afford to daydream. Instead he let the numbness trickle back into his heart and concentrated on the task at hand.
He walked down the long row of stalls and paused in front of a beautiful palomino mare. She started to paw the ground with one hoof and snort, her eyes wild with fear. However, that didn’t discourage Trevor. He started speaking in his native tongue, just loud enough for them both to hear. For some reason it seemed more comforting to the horses and this one was no exception. She calmed after a few seconds and let him touch her forehead with his gentle hand. “Good girl,” he whispered with a smile.
Some people called him a horse whisperer, like he used some kind of magic to commune with horses. However in reality, he was the one doing the listening. Over half of his job involved observing behavior and that stage could not be rushed. Once he saw the symptoms of the undesirable behavior, then he could get to the root of the problem and help the horse work through it. That’s where some horse owners failed with troubled horses. They gave up too easy. But not Trevor. He didn’t know to give up or let go. It was both a gift and a curse affecting all areas of his life.
Chapter Six
About an hour later, Emma led Charlotte across the Morgan property and after opening the gate, they continued on toward the stables. Charlotte dressed warm and as practical as she could in a down coat, skinny jeans, a stocking cap and gloves. However, for footwear she could only find her fancy, high-heeled, dress boots that looked out of place in the untamed Wyoming landscape. Maybe someday soon she’d have to go into town and get some practical clothing for her month stay in the west.
Trevor and Laina were already in the stables preparing the horses. “Good morning again, ladies,” Trevor said while leading a chestnut colored horse toward her. “This is Ginger. I picked her for you to ride, Charlotte. She’s a very sweet and gentle mare.”
“Oh, she’s beautiful,” she said while cautiously brushing her fingers over the horse’s head.
“I thought you’d like her,” Trevor said with a grin. “Here, want a leg up?”
Charlotte frowned. “A leg what?”
Trevor chuckled and motioned upward with his arms. “Do you want help getting onto the horse?”
Charlotte blushed at her inexperience and shook her head. “No, I think I can manage.”
She put her left boot in the stirrup and attempted to pull herself up by grabbing onto the horn of the saddle. She almost had her other leg swung over the side when her fancy boot slipped out of the stirrup. Charlotte lost her balance and fell right into Trevor’s muscular arms.
His brown eyes twinkled as an amused chuckle escaped his lips. “That was good for a first try, but I believe those fancy boots betrayed you, Miss Lewis. Might want to consider finding more practical footwear before your next ride.”
Charlotte nodded in a robotic fashion and blushed, still in shock as she stared at the handsome face above her. “I…I think you may be right.” He helped her stand and then she made a second attempt, accepting Trevor’s offer for a leg up. This time she mounted the horse without any trouble at all.
A few minutes later they were headed across the pasture and then up a narrow, wooded trail. Charlotte marveled at the winter wonderland before them, wondering if her heart had ever felt so alive before. A few cardinals hopped on the icy branches above them. Then she caught sight of a white rabbit as it hopped in front of them and then dashed into its burrow in the frozen ground. Now she caught a glimpse of why her sister had fallen in love with Wyoming. Charlotte only wished Bridget could be there with them.
As Laina and Emma traveled on ahead, Trevor slowed down so they could ride side by side on the trail. “So, how are you and Emma faring? Is she talking more?”
Charlotte nodded. “Yes, a little.” She let out a deep sigh. “This guardian thing is a lot harder than I thought. I feel so inadequate. Honestly I never gave much thought to being a mother. It always seemed like something far off into the future. I know Bridget thought I could do this, but I’m not sure if I’m doing the right things with her.”
“Well, I think you’re doing a good job. It takes time. Just be yourself. Don’t get hung up on trying to do everything you feel Bridget would have done. Emma’s smart and she’ll know if something feels unauthentic.”
Charlotte nodded and focused on Emma, sitting up with good posture, but yet relaxed in the saddle, like she and the horse were of one body. “Thanks for the tip. She really is an amazing girl.”
“Yes, she is.”
They rode in silence until reaching a clearing. From there they could see the entire property and Charlotte could only stare at it in wonder. The view was stunning, even with everything buried in a thick layer of snow.
Trevor took advantage of the moment and pointed out all the buildings and the property boundaries. “That older building near the pond is the original house built back in the eighteen hundreds. Tom let me move in there after I sold my house a few years ago. It’s small, but it has a nice fireplace. I stay pretty warm even on the coldest winter nights. I have a gas stove to cook on too, but it gets pretty lonely in there by myself. That’s why I prefer to eat dinner with all of you in the main house.”
Charlotte let out a faint chuckle. “I prefer it too. Without you doing the cooking, I’m afraid I may have burned the house down by now.”
He grinned at her comment and then showed her the bird’s eye view of the rest of the buildings and explained what they were. The whole property was much larger than she had imagined, making the responsibility feel even heavier on her shoulders. Trevor seemed to sense her change in mood and turned toward her with a knowing look in his eyes. “We’ll figure this out together, Charlotte. Reading the will was a shock to me too, but after thinking about it last night, I think Tom and Bridget knew exactly what they were doing. You’ve got the business sense and I’ve got the experience with horses and the clients. If we work together as a team, I really think we can make this work, even when you move back to London. We have to try for Emma’s sake. She’ll come back here someday because this is a part of her heritage.”
Charlotte nodded, but remained silent as guilt tormented her. Part of her wanted to stay in Wyoming for Emma, but it didn’t make sense for her. She had commitments in London—a whole life she enjoyed. She couldn’t just leave it all behind. Could she?
After about an hour ride, the stables finally came back into view. By that time, Charlotte’s muscles ached and she was more than ready to be off the horse. She’d had a good time, but horseback riding was obviously something people had to practice often to get used to it.
When they reached the stables, Charlotte watched Laina carefully to see how she dismounted. As petite as her sister’s friend was, it amazed her how she swung her leg over the horse, twisted and hopped down to the ground in one fluid movement.
Well, if she can manage it that easily…it can’t be that hard, Charlotte thought to herself.
This time she pushed her boot as far forward in the stirrup as she could. Then she swung her other leg over and twisted. Everything went smoothly until she tried to hop down. Her boot caught in the stirrup but the rest of her body fell backwards. Charlotte landed on the cold frozen ground with a thud and one foot remained suspended high in the air, still caught in the stirrup. For a moment, Charlotte just stared at the puffy clouds and blue sky above her, in shock. She was fine, besides having the wind knocked out of her.
Running footsteps and a man’s voice broke through the fog. “Charlotte…are you all right?”
“Hmm…” she mumbled as he untangled her boot from the stirrup a
nd then helped her to her feet.
“Charlotte?”
“Yes?” She looked up and gazed into the man’s concerned brown eyes, finally realizing it was Trevor and he still had his arms wrapped around her waist. Charlotte looked away blushing and whispered. “Thanks. I think I’m all right now.” Trevor let her go and she stepped back, noticing Laina and Emma staring at them both with amused grins. Great, she’d made a spectacle of herself twice in one day.
“Well, on that note,” Trevor said with a nervous chuckle,” I think it’s about time for lunch.”
The rest of the week went by in an unusual pattern for Charlotte and Emma. The guests from out of town left within a few days and the paparazzi eventually lost interest and dispersed, finally allowing some peace around the house. Some days were good and some bad. She reasoned that grief was like a rollercoaster. A person just had to hold on tight through the ups and downs and twists and turns, until one day the ride finally allowed you to get off. Even then, a person could still feel the after affects.
When Emma was having a good day, they bonded over her favorite family games and talked about horses. They even went on a few more trail rides—that was, after Charlotte went out and purchased some practical clothes and riding boots. Then at the end of the day after eating one of the frozen dinners people from town brought over, they curled up on the couch together and watched one of Emma’s favorite movies.
As the week ended and a new one began, Emma insisted she missed her friends and was ready to go back to school. Although Charlotte was unsure at first, Emma won the argument in the end. Then, the following morning she watched as her niece left in a big, yellow, school bus, ready to face the world again.
“Doing all right?” Laina asked from the table as Charlotte came in the back door.
“I’m fine,” she insisted while preparing herself a cup of hot tea. Then she took a seat across from her.
Laina frowned, seeming to read her thoughts. “So, you haven’t told Emma yet. Am I right?”
“Told her about what?”
“About moving to London with you. It’s obvious that you don’t plan on staying here permanently.”
Charlotte looked down and sipped her tea, buying herself a few extra seconds before looking back up at Laina. Finally she shook her head sadly. “No. It just never feels like the right time to discuss it. Emma is finally talking to me and we’re growing closer by the day. I’m scared of ruining what we’ve built so far.”
“Yes, I understand,” Laina agreed. “But if what you built has a lie or misunderstanding as a foundation, it is doomed to fall apart.” The sad look in her new friend’s eyes told her she had experience with building relationships on dishonesty.
Charlotte let out a deep sigh. “I’ll tell her soon. I promise.”
Laina nodded, seeming satisfied with her answer for the time being. However, something about Laina’s worried, motherly expression told her she would bring it up again soon if Charlotte didn’t do as she promised.
“Laina, can I ask you a tough question?” Charlotte asked after a long pause.
Her blond friend crossed one leg over the other and lounged back in her chair. “Of course. Ask away.”
“Why do you think Bridget chose me to be Emma’s guardian? Sometimes I feel so inadequate. I mean, think about it.” She started counting her undesirable qualities on her fingers. I have no experience with children. I can’t cook, even if my life depended on it. I live in another country and I’m a workaholic. It just doesn’t make any sense why she would choose me.”
“And you believe someone else would be more qualified for the job?” Laina asked.
Charlotte nodded. “Well, honestly I think you would be the obvious choice, Laina. Anyone could see that. You’ve known Emma her whole life. You live here in Wyoming. Plus, she loves and trusts you like family.”
Her friend looked down and fiddled with the handle on her coffee cup. “I’m not as stable as you might think, Charlotte. My husband left me with a mountain of debt…and except for the money Bridget left me recently, lately I’ve had just enough to pay for rent and food. When I fell on hard times, she was nice enough to offer me a job at the stables and a place to live. I think I’m finally starting to get my head above water.”
Charlotte bit her lip. “I’m sorry, Laina. I had no idea you were a widow.”
A bitter chuckle escaped her friend’s lips. “Oh, I’m not a widow…although sometimes I wish I was.” At Charlotte’s shocked expression, Laina shook her head with a half smile. “Just kidding. I’d never wish any harm to come to my Austin. We were happily married five years and I loved him…still do.” Laina paused for a moment and gazed wistfully out the window while rubbing her bare ring finger. Now Charlotte noticed there was a faint line on her tan skin where a ring used to be. “Unfortunately he chose the rodeo over me one too many times. We separated three years ago. I’ve thought of sending divorce papers so many times, but something always stops me. Maybe I foolishly hope he’ll come to his senses and beg me to forgive him.”
Charlotte gave Laina an understanding smile, noticing her friend’s eyes had misted over with tears. “I don’t think it’s foolish at all, Laina,” she reassured. “Hoping is never a foolish thing…but you do have to move on with your life, with or without Austin. Don’t let his mistakes define you.”
Laina nodded. “You’re right. I can make a better life for myself…and I am trying. But as much as I love Emma, I still don’t think I would be the right person to raise her, even if my circumstances were ideal. She sees me like an older sister, Charlotte. Emma’s going to need a parent figure whether she realizes it or not. You believe that Bridget was so much different that you, but in so many ways you’re more alike that you realize.” Laina wiped her eyes as she continued. “Bridget talked about you all the time, Charlotte. She told me so many stories about your childhood…traveling all over with your father. That’s why she chose you, Charlotte. She knew you’d pass down those stories to Emma…you’ll preserve your family’s heritage.”
Charlotte rested her head in her hands as tears stung her eyes, having never thought of it that way. Laina had been trying to comfort her, but in reality, it only placed a heavier weight on her shoulders. “What if I can’t handle the responsibility? What if I fail?”
“The way I see it…you can’t afford to fail…at least not with Emma.”
Charlotte looked up again and wiped her tears. “Now that I agree with…but am I just supposed to leave my entire life in London?”
Laina shrugged. “That’s not my decision to make, Charlotte. But whatever you choose, think of Emma’s future as well and what you’ll be asking her to leave behind.”
Charlotte nodded, absorbing Laina’s words. She needed to make a decision and had less than three weeks to do it.
Chapter Seven
Trevor stood on the bottom rung of the corral at The Broken J Ranch, watching a feisty, young, dapple gray horse named Hercules, rear up, buck and whinny as Chase Haven tried to approach him. He was a stunning horse to look at, but very unpredictable.
After a few more attempts, his friend gave up and dusted himself off with a faint chuckle. “See what I mean? He’s perfectly fine and then turns on you in a moment’s notice. A friend of mine rescued him from a bad situation and sent him my way to see if I could work with or re-home him. Anyway, I thought of you right away and how you take on troubled horses.”
“I see.”
“So, what do you think?”
Trevor scratched his chin for a moment, thinking it through. He had a lot on his plate already with taking over Morgan Stables. However, as the horse made eye contact with him, Trevor felt a strange connection with the animal. Then he knew he couldn’t leave him behind. “Sure, I’ll take him.”
“Great!” Chase said. “He’s a great horse and I’d really like to keep him but the timing’s just not right. We’re shorthanded right now and we’ve had so many new guests lately…I’m hard-pressed for extra time to wo
rk with him.”
“Yeah, I heard about Randal moving to Kansas. What was the story on that anyway?”
Chase adjusted his cowboy hat and a grin spread across his face. “He found some land out there…and an attractive romance writer staying here as a guest for a few weeks last July might have had something to do with it.”
Trevor shook his head and let out a light chuckle. “Well I’ll be. Quiet and reserved Randal finally found himself a girl.”
“Yep, sure did. Her name is Madison.” He chuckled and lifted an eyebrow. “You better watch out, Trevor…it seems to be in the water around these parts. First me…then Randal…then Kade. You could be next, man.”
Trevor rubbed his chin as Charlotte’s face popped into his head—her blue eyes gazing at him as he held her in his arms after she fell off the horse. She’d looked so enchanting at that moment. Then in an instant, her face was replaced with another. The woman’s deep brown eyes flashed through his thoughts—eyes that always seemed to know his heart better than he knew it himself. Now her eyes told him it was okay to move on and be happy, but Trevor couldn’t even fathom the thought of letting her go. Instead he shook his head, chasing the bittersweet daydream away. “Nah, I already had my chance. That kind of perfection only comes around once in a lifetime.”
Chase patted his shoulder with a knowing half-smile on his face. “I’m just saying to keep an open mind. You never know what God could have in store. I never expected to fall in love with Philomena. When I came to the Broken J, love was the very last thing on my mind, but now I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life.”
Guardian 0f Her Heart (Whispers In Wyoming Book 6) Page 4
