The emotions the message evoked took Trevor by surprise. For so long he’d been holding everything inside. Any time someone tried to help him, he’d closed them out, especially his friend Laina. He’d never talked to anyone about his anger at God for taking his wife from him or his guilt over finding any kind of joy in life. Now it all threatened to come flooding out of him. Was there anyone who truly understood what he was going through?
When the sermon ended, he hid his feelings under the surface again. Then he waited until everyone had filtered out before walking to the back of the church to shake the preacher’s hand. Logan and his wife, Jill, both greeted him warmly.
“Mighty good to see you again, brother,” Logan said and bypassed his extended hand for a one armed hug. “Still whispering to horses?”
“Sure am. In fact, I’m in town on an emergency case right now. It should only take a few days, so I wanted to make sure I stopped in here today to hear you preach and say hello.”
Jill spoke up from beside Logan. “Do you have time to join us at the Sweetwater for lunch? We’d love to have you. Our cook is preparing smoked brisket this afternoon.”
Trevor’s stomach growled, having skipped breakfast. “Now that sounds like an offer I’d have a hard time refusing.”
After lunch, Logan showed Trevor some of the new developments around the Sweetwater. It amazed him how much things had changed since he’d been there during the fall. Some of the store fronts were developing and he could see they had been entertaining a lot of guests. “Wow,” he commented as they crossed the covered bridge in a golf cart. “I’m glad everything’s going so well.”
“Thank you. The Lord has been good to us.”
Trevor smiled. “By the way, how’s Flash doing?”
“Terrific. He’s one of the gentlest horses we have around the resort now. Sometimes I forget how wild he used to be. We have you to thank for that.”
Trevor waved away his compliment. “Oh, I didn’t do much. He was a good horse all along. He just needed a little time to show us.”
Logan chuckled softly. “Well, would you like to see him?”
Trevor smiled. “Sure I would.”
A few minutes later, they entered one of the barns and journeyed down the row of stalls until reaching the one Flash stayed in. The horse whinnied and stomped his foot in excitement.
“You still remember me, don’t you, old friend?” he whispered while petting the side of the horse’s head. He had the opportunity to work with so many horses but Flash had become one of his favorites. He was the diamond in the rough—similar to the old truck he’d been fixing up for years. It was inspiring to see potential in something and then have it blossom before his eyes. It gave him hope for a future—a happy future. But then, just as it always did, guilt followed on the heels of joy.
“Trevor, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but is something bothering you?” Logan asked, picking up on his change of mood.
He leaned against the stall door and let out a deep sigh. “Have you ever questioned what God is doing?”
“I’d like to say no…but honestly when my sister and her husband died in that terrible accident…yes, I did.” Logan looked down a rubbed his chin, looking deep in thought. When he looked up he had a strange but wonderful peace in his eyes. “Trevor, I don’t know why bad things happen to good people, but I do know one thing.”
“And what’s that?”
“God is always with us during every storm. He feels our pain and brings us comfort in our sorrow…if we allow him to.”
Trevor looked down and kicked at some straw on the barn floor. “When my wife passed away…all the joy in my heart just seemed to drain away. I was angry at God for not healing her. I hid my emotions away from everyone and became like a stone. No one could get through.”
“And has that changed?”
Trevor sighed. “Yes, I finally started talking to God again. I asked his forgiveness. And I let someone else through my defenses, too. Someone who I’ve grown to love…” His voice faded up into the barn rafters. His own words were shocking to hear out loud but true. For the first time, Trevor realized he loved Charlotte Lewis.
“But you feel guilty for being happy with someone else?” Logan asked, interrupting his thoughts.
“Yes,” he answered with a miserable nod. “Sometimes I think the guilt will never go away.”
Trevor felt Logan’s comforting hand resting on his shoulder. “It will someday…when you’re ready. My wife, Jill…she lost her husband and when we reunited she wasn’t ready yet. I just had to be patient and wait for God to heal her heart. It took time and a lot of prayer, but things worked out. God has blessed us.”
Trevor nodded with misty eyes, desperately wanting a little of what Logan and Jill had. “Yes, I can see that. I’m happy for you two.”
“God has a special plan for your future too, Trevor,” Logan continued. “You just have to give it all over to him. He’s our great healer and nothing is impossible for him.” He paused and smiled for a moment. “So, can I pray with you, my friend?”
Trevor nodded and they both bowed their heads. As he closed his eyes and listened to the words of Logan’s prayer, a peace filled him that he hadn’t felt in a long time. He finally let God begin to heal his heart.
Chapter Seventeen
After church on Sunday, Charlotte sat with her mother at the kitchen table enjoying a cup of tea while watching Emma play with Pete in the living room. She laughed as the little dog leapt into Emma’s arms and licked her chin.
“She’s really amazing, isn’t she?” her mother commented.
Charlotte nodded with a proud grin. “Yes, she is. You know, I was so apprehensive when I first traveled to Wyoming to be Emma’s guardian. I was afraid that I would fail her because I had no experience raising a child, but so much as changed in the past month. Really, I think she’s taught me more than I’ve taught her. I’m not sure when it happened…but Emma has become my daughter.”
Her mother took a sip of her tea and then her lips curved into a smile. “I’m happy for you, my darling. I always knew that you’d make a wonderful mum. As I watched you take over my business for me, I worried that you were missing out on starting a family of your own, but it seems the good Lord has brought something good out of tragedy after all. I see how much Emma admires you.”
Charlotte wiped her moist eyes. “What should I do, mum? I desperately want to do what is right for her, but I feel like I’m stuck. No matter how much I think and pray about it, I dread the thought of ripping Emma away from Wyoming…away from the only home she ever knew with her parents. But on the other hand, my life is here…my career and my home…and I can’t leave you here all alone.”
Her mother placed her hand over Charlotte’s. “Oh, don’t let me hold you back, my love. I’ll be just fine, believe me. I won’t be lonely.” A strange grin spread across her mother’s face, filling her with curiosity.
“Is there something that you’re trying to tell me?”
She nodded and pulled something out of her pocket. Charlotte stared in shock as her mother placed a diamond ring on her finger. “Edward and I have grown closer over the years. Anyway, he proposed while you were gone. I wanted to wait for just the right moment to tell you.”
Charlotte stood from the table and hugged her mother tight. “Oh, congratulations! I had a feeling about you two, even though you and Edward were so secretive about your relationship. I’m so happy for you, mum.”
Her mother nodded with a radiant smile on her face. “We are very happy together…and that means you can be happy too, Charlotte. Of course I’ll miss you like mad if you go, but don’t let that influence your decision. This should be about what’s best for you and Emma…and perhaps that handsome bloke I’ve heard about that charms horses. I hear you’ve taken a fancy to him.” Her eyebrow twitched, hinting she knew about the little secret Charlotte had kept from her.
Her cheeks flushed as she sat back in her seat. “How’d you find out?�
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“I have my ways…and Emma may have mentioned something about him too.”
She shook her head with an embarrassed grin. “Oh, I don’t know, mum. Things are so…complicated.” She took a few minutes to fill her mother in on their whirlwind of a relationship, including Trevor’s deceased wife and the fact that he wasn’t ready to move on. “So you see,” Charlotte continued, “Even if Emma and I decide to stay in Wyoming, there’s no guarantee that he’ll ever love me in return. What if I decide to wait for him and get my heart broken again?”
Her mother patted her hand. “If you really love him, you’ll just have to take that chance. In the end, the decision is yours.”
Charlotte gulped down a lump in her throat as she peered into the living room again. Pete was sprawled out on the floor, fast asleep and Emma sat on the window seat with a book open in her hands. She wasn’t reading it though. Instead, she stared out the window, off in another world. She had an unusual look on her young, innocent face that brought a dull ache to Charlotte’s heart. She knew the look because she saw it on her own face when she looked in the mirror lately—homesickness. Then she knew exactly what she needed to do.
Charlotte quietly crossed the room and placed her hand on her niece’s shoulder. “Ready to go home?” she whispered.
The little girl looked up at her with misty eyes. She seemed confused at first, but then her face lit up with understanding. “Yes, more than anything.”
Trevor watched with a huge smile on his face as Vick’s daughter and her horse cleared two barriers without a single hesitation or hiccup. Her ginger curls blew in the breeze as she guided the mare over one final jump. Then they whipped around and came trotting toward the fence. Vick’s daughter had a radiant smile on her face. “Thank you. Trevor. You’re a miracle worker!”
“Oh, I’m not sure about that…but I’m glad that we’ve gotten you two up and riding together again.”
Vick shook his hand enthusiastically. “We can never thank you enough. I can’t believe it only took three days. I’ll add on an extra fifty dollars for all your hard work.”
Trevor put up his hand. “No need, Vick. It was my pleasure to help.”
“No, I insist,” his friend said while slapping a roll of money into his palm. You deserve it.” He grinned at him. “Say, I have a friend who’s not far from here. Needs help with one of his horses. It might mean some extra money for you, if you want me to call him.”
Trevor shook his head. “Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m afraid I’ll have to pass this time. I’m ready to go home. There are some things I need to take care of.”
“Sure, I understand,” his friend said and then shook his hand. “Well, safe travels.”
Trevor said his goodbyes. Then he loaded his stuff into his truck and headed off in the direction of Tipton. The two and a half hour trip in solitary gave him plenty of time to reflect on what he’d discussed with Logan on Sunday. God had been working on his heart that week and showing him that he still had love in his heart to give. He’d been given a second chance to share it with someone else. He wasn’t sure if Charly would agree to stay after the way they left things, but he had to at least try to convince her. He had three days to prepare himself for her return, but first he had something to do.
On the outskirts of Tipton, Trevor stopped by the side of the road and picked some wildflowers, Grace’s favorite. Then he drove a few more miles to the cemetery and found his wife’s final resting place. Tears filled his eyes as he swept a few leaves and dried grass off the stone. Then he could clearly make out the engraved words, Grace Morgan. He placed the flowers just below her stone and then sat in the grass for a moment in silence, remembering their time together. She had not only been his soul mate and wife, but his best friend. They had talked about everything together—shared their hopes and dreams and comforted each other’s fears and worries. Even though he knew she wasn’t really there, but in heaven, he desperately needed to share something with her now.
“Hey sweetheart,” he started, voice quivering with emotion at first, but getting stronger as he went on. “I’m sorry I haven’t come by to visit lately. And I’m sorry that I sold our home. The memories were just too painful. I thought it would help to sell it, but to be honest, I’d rather remember you in the places we loved, rather than in the place we said goodbye.” He stopped to regain his composure before going on. “Anyway, lately I’ve been thinking about that thing you wanted me to promise…that I would carry your memory in my heart but not let it be a burden. I couldn’t do it then…even though it’s what you wanted. It was just too hard. But now I think I can. I think I can finally let you go. I think I can love again.”
He paused to wipe a few tears on his sleeve before going on. “This doesn’t mean I’ll ever stop loving you, Grace. I’ll love you my whole life. But there’s something new I learned about love. I used to think of it as a limited commodity and since I loved you so much, I thought my love had died with you, but now I know that it never runs out. It’s a gift from God and when you give it away, He just keeps giving you more.”
Trevor sputtered out a bittersweet laugh and gazed up at the vast Wyoming sky. It looked so vibrant and blue that afternoon that his breath caught in his throat. He had finally been freed from his burden of guilt. God had restored his joy.
He touched his fingers to his lips and then placed them on the stone, giving her one last goodbye kiss. “Thank you, Grace. Thank you for loving me enough to allow me the gift of loving again.”
Chapter Eighteen
Charlotte and Emma pulled into the driveway at the Morgan estate right around lunch time. They were three days early and this time she arranged for a rental car once they arrived in the States so no one would have to pick them up at the airport. After three days of packing her most valuable items, contacting a moving company and working out business details with her friend Hannah, it seemed all the loose ends of moving to Wyoming permanently had been tied up. Now she just had to wait for all her belongings to arrive.
The look on Emma’s face when they arrived told Charlotte that she’d made the right decision. After giving her a quick hug, her niece dashed into the house with Charlotte struggling to keep up. She entered the house, almost colliding with a shocked, wide-eyed Laina.
“You’re early! How…?”
Charlotte interrupted her friend with a hug. “We’re staying, Laina. We’re staying here for good!”
Laina leaned back and stared at her for a moment before her words finally sank in. Then she let out an excited squeal and jumped up and down, holding onto Charlotte’s hands and making her jump with her. “You’re staying? You have no idea how wonderful that is! Honestly, it’s so dull without you two here. Trevor won’t admit it, but he’s missed you too.”
Charlotte sobered and bit her lip. “Where is he?”
“In Lander, doing one of his side jobs. I haven’t heard from him since Saturday, but he should be back in a few days.”
“That’s good,” Charlotte said, but deep down she’d been hoping to see him right away. She missed him like crazy.
Laina hugged her again. “You should get some rest, Charlotte. After all, you’ve had a long trip.”
She nodded and started to head toward the stairs when Emma almost barreled her over, wearing her riding suit. “Whoa…where are you going?”
Her niece had a guilty look in her eyes. “Out riding.”
Charlotte giggled. “Don’t you think you should rest a little, Emma?”
She shook her head and begged. “Oh, please, Aunt Charly? Just a half an hour? It’s seems like it’s been forever since I’ve seen Buttercup.”
“Oh, all right. Go on ahead,” Charlotte agreed and watched her niece leave before heading upstairs to her bedroom. Once there, she opened up the shades and gazed out at the open green pasture of rolling hills dotted with grazing horses. She didn’t think it was possible, but the coming of spring had made Wyoming even more beautiful than when she had left. Wildflowe
rs dotted the landscape and blooms filled the trees.
All of a sudden, Charlotte didn’t feel like resting either. Instead she changed out of her traveling business dress and into a white and flowing sundress. It had been one of her favorite clothing purchases in the small town of Tipton because it was so simple but elegant at the same time. It symbolized how she felt this afternoon—free and happy to have arrived at her new home. It was a new and fresh start for both of them.
After slipping on some strappy white sandals, Charlotte headed out into the warm spring air. She cut across the field and stood in the pasture in the cover of some tall bushes so Emma couldn’t see her. Then she watched her niece in silent awe. Watching the horse and rider move together so effortlessly was a beautiful sight to behold. Charlotte imagined how happy Bridget would have been to see her daughter now. They were going to be all right. She knew that now. No matter what happened with Trevor, at least she still had her niece. She trusted God to take care of everything else.
Trevor pulled into the Morgan Stables parking lot, feeling lighter and more at peace than he had in years. He thought about stopping by his cabin first but wanted to check in with Laina in the office and see how the place had fared in his absence. When he only saw the new receptionist, Trevor figured Laina had taken her lunch break and decided to just look in on the horses instead.
He’d almost reached the barn door when a rider out in the pasture caught his eye—Emma. He took a double take, still confused by the sight before him. Then he saw movement near the bushes and his heart skipped a beat, recognizing Charlotte in a beautiful white dress and smiling radiantly in the afternoon sun. She was only a few yards away, but was so focused on watching Emma that she hadn’t spotted him yet.
He watched her for a moment as she picked a tiny white bloom off of a nearby bush and looked down while twirling it in her fingers. That gave him the chance he needed. Trevor snuck behind the bushes for cover and slowly closed the distance between them.
Guardian 0f Her Heart (Whispers In Wyoming Book 6) Page 10
