and Bastet’s thrones shifted alike. They had binoculars, as well. There were also telescopes installed in the footstools. “Amun-Ra, this is not a good idea. I mean, what if he isn’t like Ruien.”
“SHH! He’ll be fine.” When Ezequador returned to the throne room, Amun told him, “That’s your, f’’’ing, telescope, BIATCH. Come, and see your brother quit...!” as he pointed his finger at Osiris’s telescope with his eyes, still, in his binoculars. Ezequador backhanded Osiris with a strong thrust! Then, he grabbed him by his waists and hurled him into Amun’s binoculars, causing the shaft to bend and the lenses to crack. “See that...!” Ezequador ruled. Bastet hissed with her cat-like mouth as she transformed into a small black cat and hopped into Amun’s lap. Anubis tried to hurry up and escape by transforming into a dog. He dashed around his throne, and headed toward the door. “WHI-WIDOW DHHHH...!” Ezequador balled his fists, stretched out his arms toward Anubis, and shot a white dust cloud from his knuckles. He vibrated his arms to show that he was an Amolvian sorcery alumnus. He wasn’t really trying to reach Anubis with the blast. He was only trying to intimidate him, so, he discontinued it when he saw that Anubis had already begun running. He SNATCHED off a piece of Amun’s shirt and, with it; he slapped the grass and leaves off Osiris’ throne and onto the floor. Then, he peacefully sat in the throne and looked into the binoculars. Amun, just, stared at him with his beak wide-open like: ‘WHERE, and WHO, do you think you are...?’ “Put your money where your beak is, biotch...! GO JOELNAQ...! WHOOOO...!” Ezequador cheered.
“HMMM-OOOH!” Joelnaq moaned as he stretched his body across a self-made massager. He’d rigged one of the booby traps and bent all of the mechanical-ascending spears forward. When they arose from the ground, the spears that were bent forward couldn’t descend any longer. Then, he covered them with a magical bubble. When they banged up against the floor, they caused the bubble to vibrate. “Ezequador, you’ve got to try this. Ahhhh...” Joelnaq moaned with satisfaction.
“CUT THEM OFF...!” Amun ordered his guards. Amun Ra’s guards removed the dogs from the giant hamster-wheels.
“’EY! WHO CUT OFF THE MASSAGE...?” Joelnaq yelled as he hopped on his feet.
“HURRY UP AND DIE- ALREADY!” Amun Ra yelled.
“Dude, that human-grinder nearly got me. There was, f’’’ing, fire, axes, drills, saws, and all kinds of sh’’, dude! I jumped over the switch, though, cause it was , like, all in one crunch. DUDE, there was this rat- right?! It, f’’’ing, hopped over a spear-hole and landed on the human-grinder switch... F’’’ing, all I saw was flames and blood streaks. You guys might wanna get that cleaned up before it smells too. Those arrow shooters were, f’’’ing, crap; I walked right-through them!” Joelnaq, eagerly, told the guards as they led him back into the throne room. Bastet leapt from within Amun’s lap into Ezequador’s lap. Ezequador lifted her up by the neck. She tried to hold onto him with her claws. Then, he threw her back into Amun’s lap. This caused her to, immediately, transform back from full-cat, to cat-headed woman. “WHAT...? HOW, IN HELL, DID HE SURVIVE?” Amun cried.
“I flew...” Joelnaq alleged with a big grin and a light chuckle.
“ENOUGH...!” Bastet yelled at Amun. Amun grunted and stood upright.
“You’re the sons of the warlord Ruien Dipsel. I knew your father.” Ezequador wasn’t surprised because he’d been reading Amun’s body language. He’d also read about them in Ruien’s journal, but he wasn’t sure. They were Ruien’s best friends. The journal read... [“This is what you should know when visiting the king of pharaohs. He will know you’re my boys, on sight, so, don’t attack him. Osiris is as light as a pinecone, so, throw him into Amun’s binoculars. They should break because they’re always trying to extort money from me through property damages. Anubis will morph and run off. He isn’t gonna leave the room, though; for the trees are near the thrones, behind a secret door. Bastet will also morph, but she’s going to hop into your lap and nearly scratch your balls off if your try moving her.”]
“He used to spend the night here, and he would sleep in the obstacle course using the same massage-bubble method, ha-ha. He, also, met Anara here.” Bastet added.
“So, what...?” Joelnaq asked Bastet.
“He told us about his encounter with the angel. I’m sure you know what he wants you to do with us.”
“Is there anything you’d like to say to Suola before we go?” Ezequador asked.
“Eukarhil Baahkee the magnificent is ambushing New Amolvia as we speak. There’s no time for goodbyes! DO IT...!” Anubis ordered Ezequador. Ezequador opened a hidden door, and inside, were two small, potted trees. He grabbed one and threw it to Joelnaq. Joelnaq caught it and asked, “What’s going on, Ezequador?” Ezequador grabbed the other tree and began to cry heavily like he didn’t want to even touch it.
“They were sweet to our father. Suola knew dad, Joel. She’s perfect for you. I’m happy for you, little brother.” Joelnaq felt bad for being disrespectful to Amun.
“OHH…! I can’t do it, Ezzy.” Joel griped after realizing why he was holding the tree.
“We can’t just leave Joel order. Every counterfeit tree-of-life is Amolvian property.” Ezequador hugged the four throne occupants and walked the tree to the Amolvian ship, never turning to look back. Joelnaq was younger and tighter with his father, so, his farewell was a lot longer. His sh’’ was like a half-hour long. F’’’ing...He nearly had to be dragged out, he was so devastated. “I never got the chance to say: I love you.” Joelnaq got on his knees and cried.
“We love you to, Joelnaq. Now GO! We’re monsters, not human beings. We shouldn’t be living anyway.” Joelnaq asked one of the guards to hold the tree and follow him out. Suola grabbed the basket of things she’d packed from her old bedroom. She wiped tears from Joelnaq’s cheeks as he held his head down and headed for the front entrance. As Suola snuggled with Joelnaq and they exited the doorway, Bastet morphed again. She hopped into Amun’s lap and meowed one last time before they all collapsed - completely transforming into a cloud of dust. A famous conqueror, named Eukarhil, stood alone on the goddess isle beach as Suola’s ship set ashore. When Joelnaq saw Eukarhil, he tried to hurry up and get off the boat. Yet, rather, he was entangled in a redundant rope that was on the ship for no, f’’’ing, reason. As he unraveled, he hollered, “HEY...! DON’T MOVE, YA, F’’’IN’, FROG! MAN, WHEN I GET LOOSE...!” Joelnaq staggered onto the beach. He, awkwardly, drew his rapier from his scabbard after a few desperate tugs. Joel grew stunned after finding that Ezequador was already behind Eukarhil. Ezequador put his Amolvian knife-edge into his Adam’s apple. Eukarhil held his hands up to assure that he wasn’t armed. “Where’s the tree, Eukarhil?” Ezequador asked.
“How did you know my name? What tree...?” Eukarhil asked. Joelnaq popped Eukarhil on the forehead with a rubber band.
“Let us do the interrogating, loser.”
“Mr. magnificent, I wasn’t expecting you to show up. Where’s your army?” Suola asked as she drew near them.
“Suola, daughter of Amun Ra… I surrender. The tree is in my boat- over there. Your brother, Azarban, whitewashed my army. I have no food, no water, and no transportation. Please, help me. I’m sorry.” Eukarhil began to weep and beg for forgiveness. Ezequador had mercy and unequipped his knife.
“Eukarhil, I was just doing my job. I didn’t want to slit your throat. I just wanted the last tree.” Ezequador explained. “Take Suola’s boat and my servants back to Egypt, and we’ll use your boat. It’s only a 5 hour trip.” Ezequador told Eukarhil.
“You did the right thing, Eukarhil. You’re alive; you still have your life.”
Joelnaq concluded.
“THANK YOU...! I WILL DEFEND NEW AMOLVIA FOREVER! WE WILL ALWAYS BE ALLIES!” Eukarhil yelled as Ezequador rowed the boat across the ocean. Eukarhil went rogue and started robbing everybody: Monsters, pregnant teenage-girls, little fat-girls. Later that night, he was found dead with a cup of ‘HIYE
-YAA’ in his hand. There were, like, eighty knifes in his back, too. When Joelnaq, Little-Azarban, and Ezequador were reunited, they sent for a jinni capturer, named Aladdin. On the New Amolvian beach, they sat together in their outdoor thrones and watched for his ship. They were also roasting each other and roasting some of the ragged ships that passed by. When he arrived, Aladdin was snazzy as sh’’. His turban was all white with jewel buttons. He had on a white tie, with no shirt and no shoes. He also had on some jockey shorts with a scarf wrapped around them. “Aladdin, what the hell are you wearing. Go put some clothes on, sugar.” Suola taunted. The Amolvian alumni bellowed with laughter. “For your information, Eukarhil the magnificent’s ghosts, just, teamed up with 2 monsters and robbed me. I didn’t know there’d be pirates. How come no one warned me?” Aladdin asked over the Amolvian children’s mocking.
“Oh we were going to, dude - but - they haven’t invented the telephone yet...” An anonymous voice uttered from within the crowd of Amolvians. The Amolvians roared with laughter. “So, on the serious side, where do you get the material for a magic lamp?” Ezequador asked.
“I don’t know, dude. I found the, f’’’in’, thing in a cave.”
“Where…?”
Super Musicians Breakthrough Do Page 10
