I love you.
Epilogue Two
*Wedding Guest Book for Mr. Alex and Mrs. Emilia Vega*
Alex and Emilia: I have only ever said this once before in my entire life, when I visited Soho House London—I approve. I approve of all of it. Everything about this wedding and marriage, I approve of. Yes, I designed everything about the wedding, but even I could not design a better couple. You are perfect. Love you both. – Franklin
You dance together beautifully. I know you always will. – Nova
I just want you to know that the sweaters are not the only gift we gave you—the blue KitchenAid mixer and the fancy bedding set from your registry are also from Dad and me. You don’t have to wear the sweaters in public, but I would love a picture of the two of you in them when you have time. And bring them when you come to visit for Christmas so we can all take pictures together in matching sweaters. Love you, dears. – Mom Stiles
Nice wedding. Stay happy. Love always. – Steve Stiles
You absolutely light up every room you’re in when you’re together, you two. Thank you for giving my son his smile back, Emilia. I hope and I am sure that he will give you much to smile about for the rest of your life. I am so very happy for the two of you and for Ryder. Also, I would love it if I could get the recipe for the pear crumble they served tonight. It was almost as delicious as your wedding vows. Love and kisses. – Sylvia Vega
Your love conquers everything. It flies in the face of everything that is wrong in the world and makes it all so very right. You are mighty warriors of the heart, and I am the faithful soldier who will always have your backs. Also, I like this prosecco and you are a very cute couple. – Antonio Vega
I’m not just saying this because I’m super tipsy, but this is the most beautiful wedding I have ever photographed. You are both glowing and gorgeous, inside and out. – Kat
Vega, babies! And a new Vega baby on the way. I’m moved. Thanks for letting me sing “All the Stars” tonight. I’ve been scribbling lyrics to a new song on a napkin. It’s called “Lazy Wingmen.” The first line is Hey, what about this guy? and the last line is Wow. How about those two. I mean, it’s a work in progress. It’ll get better. Just like your lives together. Okay, I’m drunk. And Grammie keeps trying to take the pen from me. Love you and good night. – Nico
Alexander, I like that you still look at your bride with a certain amount of longing, even though she is all yours. Stay like that. Emilia, I’m happy you found a good man who is bad in all the right ways. ;) Thank you for inviting me to your wedding. My cold dead heart feels warm tonight. And it’s not just the wine. P.S. You really must stop flirting with me now, Tongue – Grammie Todd
Beautiful couple! I was in such a hurry wrapping up your gift that I forgot to include the ingredients. Your personalized scented room spray and candle combine the following fragrances: Madagascar vanilla (for cake), natural botanical musk (for sex), vanillin and grass (for books), and a top-secret combination of tree, leaf, and citrus to hint at the scent of freshly sharpened pencils. Your love smells fucking amazing, and I can’t stop sniffing you. – Willa
I’m so happy you’re going to have a baby! I recommend sleeping for the next five months straight. After that—there’s a sleep schedule technique we learned about for Oliver. I’ll email it to you. It works. Okay, Willa says I’m obsessing about sleep like a dork, so I will also say this: I have known Alex since he was a teenage werewolf who could only turn back into a normal guy if he was around the girl he had a crush on—or pepperoni and mushroom pizza. This totally made sense on The Disney Channel. But you have turned him into a happier man than I ever thought he was capable of being, Emilia. As happy as he deserves to be. You must be feeding him a lot of pizza. You make sense together. Love you both. – Shane
Hi! I am glad you are married because you are both nice to me and let me watch lots of movies and get me snacks so I don’t have to stop watching. Also, Miss Stiles, I mean Emilia, makes my dad smile more so he is not Mr. Grumpy Dumpy Face. Oh wait, you are not Miss Stiles you are Mrs. Vega! Haha. Well I had fun here. Even tho you kissed way too much. Thanks for having the good kind of gelato tonite. I am happy that I am going to have a baby sister this time, I guess. But I still think you should call her Macauley Culkin because I think it would be funny. Aren’t you happy you finally listened to me and hung out with my dad, Emilia? P.S. I would like a monkey now please. – Ryder
Author’s Notes
~ The Milan Kundera quote is from his novel Immortality, translated from the Czech by Peter Kussi (page 173 of the HarperPerennial Modern Classics paperback).
~ The Pablo Neruda quote is from his poem “We Together,” which can be found in the book Residence on Earth, translated by Donald D. Walsh
~ If you are ever in Los Angeles, I highly recommend visiting the Griffith Observatory and watching a planetarium show. The observatory is one of my favorite places in LA and it was great to revisit, even though it was only in my book this time.
~ And obviously, I also recommend watching the film Cinema Paradiso. I do sometimes just watch the end, and it is always, always wonderful.
~ This book is me flipping 2020 the bird. It is also, in some ways, a love letter to my favorite Nora Ephron movies. Except that every Nora Ephron movie I’ve ever seen has somehow gotten scrambled in my dirty mind and come out much naughtier than she would have approved of.
So thank you, and I’m sorry, Nora Ephron.
Thank you and all my love to you, dear readers.
But fuck you, 2020.
Acknowledgments
Endless thanks and love to Jennifer Mirabelli, for the OMG LOL I LOVE HIM-filled top-notch notes. And for basically everything, including the title of this book.
Thanks to Wildfire Marketing Solutions and Give Me Books for handling the promotions for Troublemaker.
Thanks to LaLinc Proofreading and April Pryor for the beta reading.
Muchas gracias to Gladymar Rodriguez Velez for being such a wonderful and helpful alternative to the crappy internet English-Spanish dictionary translators and the awful cousin who never replied to my email.
I am always so grateful to the bloggers and Facebookers and Bookstagrammers who support my books in such pretty and enthusiastic Internet ways. Thank you, thank you. I struggle with every little post and you all make magic so many times a day.
To every reader who has ever reached out to me or left a comment on social media, and to the very pleasant citizens of my new Facebook group Kayleyville—I don’t even know how I ever lived without you. Especially those of you who have become self-appointed Kayley Loring sales reps on FB (you know who you are, and you know I love you). Thank you for your support and for making me feel less alone when I’m in my writing cave. It’s getting a little crowded here in the cave, but fortunately we all smell amazing.
I was so grateful to have Zachary Webber and Mackenzie Cartwright’s voices in my head as I wrote this, and I cannot flippin’ flappin’ wait to hear them narrate this audiobook…
And you know what—I also want to thank Zac Efron for growing up so damn good. Just because.
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SLEEPER (Shane and Willa’s story) – listen to Teddy Hamilton and Mackenzie Cartwright perform the audiobook!
The CHARMER audio is coming August 24, 2020! Performed by Jason Clarke and Mackenzie Cartwright!
The TROUBLEMAKER audio is coming September 2020! Performed by Zachary Webber and Mackenzie Cartwright!
(The New York/Brooklyn standalones)
REBOUND WITH ME (available in audio)
COME BACK TO BED (available in audio)
TONIGHT YOU’RE MINE (available in audio)
THE PLUS ONES (available in audio)
THE BROOKLYN BOOK BOYFRIENDS: a collection – contains Rebound with Me, Come Back to Bed, Tonight You’re Mine and The Plus Ones, plus bonus epilogues for all four novels! You can get the audiobook bundle for one Audible credit!
BACK FOR MORE (available in audio)
HELLO DARLING – in audio and narrated by Shane East and Mackenzie Cartwright
SEXY NERD
EVERY INCH OF YOU
The Work Less/Play More series of standalones
Troublemaker Page 23
