by Lyn Forester
It’s on the tip of my tongue to give Garrett this one concession, but then I remember the intimacy of the first time Nikola removed my shoes and nod in agreement.
No part of me desires to be touched this morning. Not when I’ll have to speak to my father before I leave and endure his cold indifference and subtle criticism.
At Half-Light on the dot, the panels in my office lighten to emulate a rising sun, and the door to my suite swishes open. Nikola and I glance up from where we sit on the twin couches in the front room, a pot of grandmother’s tea between us.
Garrett pauses on the threshold, his light gaze sweeping over us, then the rest of the room. “My apologies, Caitlyn. My schedule had you rising at 0500. I will do better next time.”
Nikola crosses his slender legs and balances the teacup he holds on one knee. “It seemed counterproductive to wait when I was here already. Caitlyn had a restless night and rose early.”
I cut Nikola a veiled glance. While both statements hold truth, his wording leaves much to the imagination.
Garrett’s gaze shifts to the open doors to the bedroom where two pillows rest neatly on the pale-green coverlet, and he draws the most logical conclusion. “I understand. Perhaps a sleeping tincture will help resolve any future restlessness.”
No, I will not drug myself to sleep, but I lock away the objection. It leaves a hollowness in my chest for all the things that go unsaid in the name of expectation. I’m supposed to act and think according to social norms and my familial obligations or risk being sent for mental rehabilitation with one of the Riellio mind specialists who can simply change my thought process for me. My throat becomes a cage for objections, fear the lock that keeps me in line.
Garrett strides forward, jolting me out of the mire of my thoughts. “May I refill your cup, Caitlyn?”
I stare down at the empty basin for a moment, then extend it. “Yes, please.”
My voice comes out rough and concern enters Garrett’s expression. “Should I call a physician? Are you unwell?” His focus shifts to Nikola. “Did you check if the restlessness last night was a sign of illness?”
Nikola stiffens at the subtle accusation. “I assure you, Caitlyn’s vitals are within normal range.”
“Because the vanity readout said so?” he scoffs. “They’re notorious for failing to catch early onset.”
Nikola’s mouth opens once more, and my temples throb with a headache over the way the two men pick at each other. Returning to APA can’t come soon enough. Otherwise, I might murder the both of them.
I clear my throat. “I’m fine, Garrett, but thank you for your concern.”
Lips clamping together, he nods stiffly, returns to filling my teacup, then adds a dollop of unasked for sweetener. The thick substance contains designer enzymes meant to stave off illness and adds a distasteful stickiness to any beverage.
Perfect way to ruin a good cup of tea, in my opinion, though Grandmother adores the stuff, and Nikola dumped a good helping of it into his own cup.
I accept my cup back with a murmur of thanks, then gesture at the one still on the tray. “Will you join us? Nikola was just about to review my schedule.”
“Thank you.” Garrett adds a spoonful of sweetener to his cup as well, fills the rest with amber liquid from the heavy teapot, and settles at my side.
Resisting the urge to scoot away, I stare across the table to Nikola. He sets his tea aside to pull out his palm-port. Despite his mask of indifference, his unusually jerky motions reveal his displeasure. The way Garrett positioned himself, he sits equal to me and puts Nikola in the position of a servant. A bold move to make. In all rights, he should sit opposite me, equal to Nikola.
But secretaries, even unofficial ones, are allowed a certain level of freedom not given to other members of our staff. Tobin, my grandmother’s secretary, frequently stands at her side. Garrett could either be emulating his grandfather’s actions as standard behavior or goading Nikola.
Or both.
Garrett settles against the couch cushions and drapes an arm across the back with an air of expectation.
Both. Definitely both. And I dislike being caught in the middle of their tug of war.
Departures
“You have ten minutes,” Nadine murmurs as she opens the door to the office. “Councilor Lonette set aside special time to see you off today. Do not waste it.”
“Thank you.” Head held high, I stride into the office, Nikola and Garrett a step behind me on either side, dual shadows, one light, one dark. I stop in front of the poisonous wood of my father’s desk, the thick lacquer all that keeps the toxins at bay.
He glances up, green eyes devoid of warmth. “Daughter.”
“Father.” My arms rest at my sides, hands loose, a pose of ease that belies the turmoil that rolls through my stomach. The sweetener in my tea still sticks to my tongue to create a noxious film. I push it all down to meet my father’s gaze with steady confidence. “I hope you find everything in order after your time away.”
“It is adequate.” His focus shifts to my right for a moment, to where Garrett stands, and a muscle next to his eye twitches. He doesn’t like Grandmother’s selection to still be by my side. “I’m told there was some fuss at a tea house?”
“Nothing of consequence.”
“And yet we acquired the facility.” His hand moves toward a folding-port that rests next to his elbow as if to glean the report through touch alone. “A hefty number of credits were spent in purchasing this facility of leisure.”
“They’re innovative and ahead of the market. If we didn’t buy them now, they would have become competition for Grandmother’s endeavors.”
“Yes, her hobby.” His mouth twists with distaste before he brushes the topic aside. “Whatever keeps her distracted, I suppose.”
I hold back from commenting. Father and Grandmother have always been at odds with each other, and I refuse to be drawn to either side. It makes me glad I didn’t immediately dismiss Garrett when I dismissed the other candidates Grandmother suggested in the dossier she presented to me as soon as she heard about Nikola’s appointment as my acting-Secretary.
If only Nikola stood at my back right now, it would have been a sign I favored my father’s opinion over my grandmother’s.
As if he reads my mind, Father’s attention shifts to my left. “Nikola, your reports are exemplary, as expected.”
The air shifts next to me as Nikola bows. “You are too kind, Councilor.”
“Everything is ready?”
“The shuttle will arrive at Day-Light, sir.”
“Good.”
Spine straight, I resist the urge to fidget. Why am I even needed for this interview? Is it just to solidify the knowledge Nikola is, at heart, my father’s man? Nikola copies me on the reports he sends to Father, but how am I to know they’re actually the same? What has he reported that I’m left unaware of?
“And my daughter’s weight appears to be back under control.” Cold eyes fix on me once more. “Do try not to overindulge once you return to APA.”
I nod, unable to speak past my clenched teeth. I haven’t gained or lost an ounce since returning home. Just one more way for Father to undermine my confidence. How does he expect me to take over as First Councilor if I lack faith in myself?
“Good, then, everything is settled.” Father reaches for his folding-port, attention already elsewhere. “Barring any more unforeseen circumstances, I expect to see you again in four years, ready to begin your apprenticeship.”
But what about the summer breaks, when the school closes? I lock the question inside, lest I sound too needy. I’m sure I’ll be informed of where I should report to before the summer break begins.
Turning, I leave the office.
As soon as the door closes, I glance to Nikola. “Can I go to the airlift early?”
He shakes his head. “It won’t look good for the demi-Councilor of the First House to be seen idle.”
I rub my palm over one arm, my skin cra
wling to be away from this house. “Then let’s go check on our newest acquisition, shall we?”
“It will cut our time too close,” Garrett interjects, speaking for the first time since we left my rooms. “Perhaps a walk in the atrium?”
“I do not find plants calming.” My voice stays even, despite the rolling mass of unease in my stomach. I can’t bear the idea of another multi-layered conversation with my grandmother during which she circles around not saying what she wants to say.
Then guilt nips at me. Perhaps Garrett hopes to see his grandfather again before he returns to school.
Concerned, I turn to him. “But if you would like to take your leave now to find Tobin, you are welcome to.”
He shakes his sandy-colored hair back from his face with a comfortable smile. “No, but thank you. We visited yesterday before the party.”
Now I turn to Nikola, reminded he, too, has family within the house. He stayed by my side from the moment I returned to Lonette Manor. Did he have a chance to see his mother, beyond just now when she ushered us into the office?
His calm, dark gaze meets mine. “Nadine and I have exchanged messages, per usual.”
My heart aches for him. The emotionless way he says the words remind me of my own relationship with my father. Two children raised by uncaring parents. If not for my experiences outside Lonette Manor, I would have thought it normal.
But disc-bike racing opened my eyes to excitement, to heart-pounding exhilaration and soul-crushing loss. Then Declan, Connor, and Felix opened my heart to love and support. Human interactions aren’t meant to be like this. We’re not meant to push down feelings in favor of robotic calculation.
Grandmother and Tobin don’t act like this, not in private. They don’t live in fear of what the staff will say about them. What happened with my father that made him like this? He’s past my reach. He made that clear many years ago, and he and Grandmother barely tolerate each other.
If I remain here, will he force me into the mold he built for me? A perfectly functioning automaton to continue his life’s work once he cedes the council seat to me per tradition?
It solidifies my determination to escape as soon as I turn twenty. Declan says we can do it, and I believe him. We’ll leave Leton for another city stack, maybe halfway across the world in Roen. A new city, a new life for both of us.
But the plan doesn’t bring with it the comfort it once did. Instead, my heart aches at the idea of leaving Connor and Felix. Will they come with us? The four of us against the world?
Inside my pocket, my palm-port buzzes with an incoming message, and I lift it free to find Felix’s face frozen on the screen. I step away from Nikola and Garrett, walking farther down the hall.
As soon as I pass beyond hearing range, I press the screen to accept the call, and Felix’s warm voice fills my ear. “Hey, Sprinkles, you ready to escape yet?”
Tension eases from my muscles. “Can’t wait. What about you?”
“I’ll miss the cake, but you’re worth the sacrifice.”
Quietly, I laugh. “You’re sneaking some back in your luggage, aren’t you?”
“I would never!” Mock offense fills his voice. “That’s against APA regulations!”
“The frosting would get all over the place, anyway.”
His voice drops to a whisper, “That’s why I’m sneaking back candy bars. If you’re really nice to me, I’ll share one.”
My brows arch. “Only one?”
“Well, that depends on how nice you are,” he purrs. “You’ll have to take my side against Declan and Connor.”
“What are we fighting them for?”
“No more protein cubes at breakfast.”
I laugh again, louder this time. “Is everything about food for you?”
“I’m sure other things will come up, too.”
“I suppose this is when I reveal I don’t like candy bars.”
He gasps loudly. “I don’t think we can be together anymore, Sprinkles. My heart can’t take this kind of betrayal.”
“But that leaves more for you,” I point out. “If you think about it, this makes me even more appealing.”
He hums softly in thought. “Well, I suppose if you say it like that...”
To sweeten the deal, I add, “I have more of that lotion you like so much.” I asked Nikola to pack extra specifically with Felix in mind.
“Now you’re trying to use your feminine wiles to make it up to me?”
“Is it working?”
His voice drops to a growl. “Depends on if I get to lick the lotion off your body, Sprinkles.”
Heat flushes my skin, and I clear my throat. “How’s Connor doing? When are you guys scheduled to land back at APA?”
“He’s locked in a meeting with Mother right now.” His tone becomes serious. “We won’t be back until after Lights-Out.”
Disappointment shoots through me. “That late?”
“Yeah, I wish it were sooner. When will you land?”
“In about four hours.”
He curses under his breath. “We could have had half a day to play.”
“What about Declan?” Hope pushes back to the surface. “Do you know when he lands?”
“He’s not coming back.”
The flat tone takes me back, the words registering a second later. “What?”
“I’m sure the witch is behind keeping him here longer. She can’t be bothered to do anything herself.”
“But...” Panic squeezes my throat as Ashley Arrington’s beautiful, cruel face surfaces in my memory.
Wife of Dominick Arrington, Declan’s older brother. She revealed her sordid plans for Declan last night, and his place within her marriage contract, where he’ll be forced to fill in for his brother, whom childhood illness left impotent.
I force myself to focus. “He’s not of age yet. She can’t legally touch him, right?”
“What happens behind closed doors is hard to prove.” Darkness fills his voice before he forces cheer back into it. “But it has to do with his brother’s health. Declan will be allowed to return in a couple weeks once Dominick is better. He’s received special permission from the dean.”
Councilor Arrington looked fine when I saw him last night, focusing his attention on a young man at the party. But looks can be deceiving among the elite. Felix would only know of Dominick’s weakness by speaking directly to Declan.
I drag in a deep breath. “But he will return?”
“That’s the plan.” He sighs into the phone. “I need a hug. And not the brotherly kind.”
I glance over my shoulder to where Nikola and Garrett pretend they’re not trying to eavesdrop, before whispering, “Me, too. I miss you guys.”
“Never thought I’d be excited to go back to school.”
“Me, either,” I admit.
“We’ll see you tomorrow morning, Sprinkles.”
“See you then.” Even after the line goes dead, I keep the palm-port pressed to my ear, holding on to the too brief connection with Felix.
Returning to APA can’t come soon enough.
At twenty-minutes to Day-Light, we walk out of Lonette Manor. Mr. Purnel and the house staff bow at the front door, the only ones to see me off. The door to the office remains shut tight, and Grandmother stays in her atrium, surrounded by her plants.
I half expect Garrett and Nikola to leave once they see me to the waiting car, but they climb in, too, leaving me to wonder if they’re there to make sure I actually arrive at the shuttle. Despite my rebellion in disc-bike racing on the lower levels, Father didn’t sic babysitters on me the first time I left for school.
Silence fills the ride to Central Plaza.
At the air docks, the car pulls into a private lift that raises it to flight level to minimize the amount of time I spend exposed to the elements.
Unlike the last time I made this trek, I come with empty hands. Nothing of my new life needs to return with me to APA, and I didn’t bring anything home with me except for th
e palm-port tucked into my pocket. The two worlds remain completely separate in an effort to make the students more equal while we study together.
A wasted effort, in my opinion. Everyone knows everyone else’s status. Wearing the same uniforms and attending classes together doesn’t create equality.
When Garrett and Nikola exit the car with me, taking up positions on either side, I glance at them askance. Are they seriously going to walk me all the way onto the shuttle?
But then the car that brought us here pulls away with a gentle ruffle of propulsion, abandoning the three of us to the empty platform.
Tension pulls my shoulders tight, and my head turns to face Nikola. “Did you forget to update me on a new development?”
His brow furrows in confusion. “Were you unaware we were coming with you?”
My pulse flutters in panic. “Why? You have your own school.”
Nikola frowns. “The plan was always to join you once I completed school. But as your official acting-Secretary, your Father thought it more expedient to make the transfer now. I’ve already passed my introductory classes. It makes more sense to begin schooling with you now as opposed to transferring during your second year.”
“I, too, am transferring for the same reason,” Garrett says from my other side. “Though I have more schooling than Nikola. Most high-rank secretaries attend APA at some point.”
Logically, I know that. Declan attends APA, and his path will lead to becoming his brother’s secretary if he follows his family’s plan. Felix, too, will be Connor’s secretary. I just never translated that to how it applied to me since I aimed to disappear before Nikola becoming my secretary ever became an issue.
Pressure from Father and Grandmother to choose early drastically changed all of our lives.
How will I be able to escape when not one, but two babysitters will now follow my every move?
Reunions
“Caitlyn!” Myrrine shouts to catch my attention.
She waves her opalescent arms in the air, as if I could somehow miss her in the middle of the only path that leads between the administration building and the school.
