His eyes don't miss an inch of my body as he takes his time, takes his fill drinking me in. My heart beats violently against my ribcage, and I lose count of the number of beats it takes while his carnal caress rakes against my skin, leaving a pink tinge in his wake.
“You're perfect.”
I blush scarlet. He leans over me, kissing me sweetly but no less intensely before trailing his mouth down my jaw toward my breasts. He licks each nipple, flicking them with the tip of his tongue, before sucking one into his mouth, swirling his tongue around and around making my head spin with pleasure.
Just when it starts to get too much, the sucking, the nibbling, the swirling, he moves onto the other one. Repeating the pleasure and pain of it all. I'm a ball of nerve endings, my body a light about to set the cabin ablaze at any moment.
I feel ready, more than ready. I'm so turned on, so wet, so… Buzzed is the only word I can think of. I'm on the edge of a cliff, the adrenaline raging through my body, with an almost instinctive need coursing through me. It's heady and crazy. Too much energy without an outlet. An achy emptiness I need him to fill.
I claw at Gavin's back, desperation overtaking my senses, clouding my nervousness.
“Gavin…” I plead. Not above begging him to give me what I want. Him. Inside me. Now.
He grins against my skin and moves his mouth down my ribcage, along and around my belly button. He peppers kisses across my lower abdomen while he slowly drags my panties down my thighs. I'm trembling by the time he reaches my ankles. Careful of my now forgotten pained foot, Gavin removes my panties and tosses them on the floor.
I bite my lip while he stares at me, but I manage to remember something.
“I came prepared,” I whisper into the quiet night air, a little embarrassed but also relieved. “In my handbag…”
Gavin looks up at me confused, but then understanding dawns on him, and his eyes go wide, and an eyebrow goes up.
I don't know what to say. I blush and give him a one-sided shrug. He’s not the only one who plans for every occasion. He kisses my lips once, then rolls off the bed and retrieves the condoms from my bag. He stands at the foot of the bed, staring at me in all my naked glory.
Feeling suddenly vulnerable, I instinctively try to pull my legs firmly closed, but the look of raw heat in Gavin's eyes stops me. He wants me, he wants this as much as I do. With that thought in mind and before I can overthink it, I part my thighs giving him full access, full view of all of me.
With all the craze of a wildcat and the predatory glare of it chasing its prey, Gavin crawls onto the bed and between my thighs. I want to squeal and flee, just so this incredibly sexy man can chase me down and pounce on me. Making me his. I am so ready to give him my virginity. He makes me feel like a woman, like a queen.
Gavin leans over me, resting on a hand, and he kisses me gently before sliding off his underwear with his other hand. I hear the crinkle of the condom packet and feel Gavin shift between my thighs as he slides the rubber on, then repositions himself between my legs. He strokes my entrance with himself, teasing me a little before slowly pushing inside. My name is a whispered prayer on his lips.
My breath hitches and holds my heart like a hummingbird.
It hurts.
Gavin strokes my face softly and brushes my lips with his before breaking the silence.
“Talk to me, tell me you're okay?” he asks gently, seemingly not daring to move.
I nod. Still not breathing.
“Raina?” he says sweetly, stroking my face once more.
I open my eyes, unaware I closed them, and give Gavin a small smile.
“I like hearing you say my name. I just didn't think it would take getting naked to do it.”
This makes him chuckle, and I wince a little, still adjusting to the width of him inside me, stretching me. I feel full to bursting. It's an odd, not altogether unpleasant feeling.
“Are you okay? Shall I stop, I mean, should we stop?”
I shake my head furiously. “No. I mean, don't stop. I'm okay. Just … a little sore.”
He nods. “Okay. Do you trust me?”
“Of course I do.”
He kisses me sweetly, ending all talk, and I sigh at the softness, the feeling behind it. It makes me melt. Gavin continues to kiss me, most of his weight on one arm, and his free hand runs up my stomach doing that feather thing again, until he reaches one of my breasts. Caressing it tenderly, he teases my nipple, tweaking and flicking it.
My breathing comes back in a flurry, quick and ragged. His mouth grows hungry, our lips picking up pace again, and I start to feel the familiar tingle between my legs. The longer we kiss, and the more Gavin strokes and teases my body, the less I feel the ache. He trails his hand down my stomach, along my abdomen to where we are joined, sliding his fingers to the bundle of nerves.
I bite Gavin's bottom lip, pulling it through my teeth to suck on when he slides the finger along my clit, alternating between pressing and rubbing. I can't help but moan into him as he dives his tongue into my mouth with the same rhythm as his fingers.
My muscles clench, aching of a different sort, and Gavin groans. I'm a little late to the party when I finally realize what Gavin’s doing, or been doing, and I move my hips, hopefully to signal the all-clear. I'm ready.
A shudder ripples through him, and my body responds in kind, enjoying what it feels like inside of me. Gavin leans up on his forearms and looks at me; seeing whatever it is he needs to satisfy him, I'm feeling more than okay now.
He slowly starts moving. Sliding in and out, just like his fingers before him. He finds his groove, stroking me from the inside, rocking his hips back and forth at a leisurely pace. The slow build-up is lovely, but Gavin looks pained, as if holding back is a struggle. I plant my heels in the bed for leverage and increase our pace, meeting him thrust for thrust.
Gavin groans his approval and grips one of my hips hard, grinding into me faster and faster, harder and harder, deeper and deeper. I can't put words to what I'm feeling, what he's doing to me and my body. It's … magical. This new pace starts a fire inside of me. Building higher and higher, stronger and stronger…
“Oh, yes. Oh, Gavin!” I scream out. “I'm … I'm … oh, God.”
“That's it. Come for me.”
My body goes off like a Fourth of July firecracker. The intensity of his thrusts and the friction of our skin sends shockwaves to my very core, and I can feel my muscles constricting tighter around him, squeezing every marvelous inch of him.
I explode into a million pieces, coming so intensely that I have to dig my fingernails into Gavin’s back to anchor myself to something tangible for fear I'll obliterate into nothingness. Oh, my, lord!
“Raina…” he groans out tightly, his own violent release wrecking his body mere moments after me.
We shake uncontrollably for a few beats before Gavin collapses beside me in a heap. I'm completely one hundred percent spent, sated, and blissed out.
“That was amazing. You're amazing,” Gavin pants in my ear.
I chuckle softly, unable to speak, so I nod vigorously.
Gavin gets out of bed in a flash and returns a few moments later with the blankets from the couch. He tucks himself in behind me, curling up around me, and covers us in the blankets. I release a dreamy, contented sigh and relax into him.
It takes Gavin no time at all to fall asleep. With his head resting against my shoulder, and his arms tightly around my waist, I've never felt so safe in my life. But even feeling this secure I struggle to fall asleep.
Instead, I fantasize about what it would be like to be in Gavin’s arms like this every night. Pressed tightly against his chest, feeling his heart beating steadily at my back. Marrying him, having his children, living a full and happy life with this wonderful man beside me. Gavin, not some prince who will never make me happy, never make me feel this whole, this contented, this crazily in love.
I never want to fall asleep because I never want to wake up from this wonderf
ul dream, and into the sad, bitter truth of reality. I can't marry Gavin. He can't ever be mine.
CHAPTER TEN
Gavin
I startle awake and bolt upright, my eyes bursting open well before I'm even fully conscious. It takes longer than normal to come to my senses, even after scanning the room around me, to realize where I am. And, who I'm with.
I'm in an abandoned cabin.
On the cusp of Switzerland.
With Raina.
Naked.
Holy shit.
What have I done? What the hell was I thinking? I wasn't thinking, clearly. It was cold, we were practically naked, and it's gotten harder and harder—no pun intended—over these past six months to ignore Raina and all her countless flirting and my endless desire for her.
My one moment of weakness has potentially cost me everything. There is no way Raina is going to let this go, forget it ever happened, and continue on as normal. That's surely too much to ask. God, I took her virginity, for fuck’s sake. There is no going back after that.
I sigh deeply, running a hand over my face, and freeze as Raina stirs beside me.
Shit.
I have to make a decision, and fast. If I flick the switch and go back to the way everything was, mostly professional, like nothing happened, Raina is going to be furious. She'll possibly even think I just wanted to get my rocks off, and sleeping with her was just convenient. Which, I'm not entirely sure is an altogether bad thing. Maybe I want Raina to be mad.
Raina thinking I have feelings for her, now that would be the ultimate worst-case scenario. She can't know I care about her as deeply as I do. She can’t know I care about her at all. It was a huge mistake to be with her. We’ll never get back to our normal, and she'll never focus on her duty.
God, what have I done?
What happened between us, regardless of how unbelievable it was, can't ever happen again. It never should have happened in the first place. Now, how do I get her to understand that without hurting her deeply?
I don't want you to stop. Ever. Make me yours, Gavin. Have me. Take me. I'm yours.
I shake myself of the memories, still fresher than spring dew. She can never be mine. She practically belongs to someone else. But I wish I could pretend we are the only two people in the world. No titles. No money issues. No bad guys to chase. Just she and I. Just for a day.
Having made my decision, I let Raina reach for me, kissing her gently on her forehead as she stirs, making a sweet, soft, little contented sound in the back of her throat.
I will miss that sound.
“Hey.”
“Mmm, hi. What time is it?” she murmurs, her voice husky with sleep, and her eyes still half-closed.
Shit. I’m screwed.
“Eight-oh-six. Am.”
“It's so early. Come back to bed?”
God help me! Her sexy, pleading tone is almost my undoing. The temptation is extreme. But I have to resist. I won't pretend nothing happened, but I am going to tone down the intimacy. Hopefully without upsetting Raina in the process.
“How ’bout I make us some breakfast?”
“Breakfast?”
“Yeah, I think I can rustle us up something better than our dinner.”
“Ah, yeah. Okay…”
To ease her disappointment, I lean forward and brush my lips against her forehead again, lingering a beat too long before pulling away. It's the last place either of us wants me to kiss her, but she gives a soft smile before I scoot out of bed, sliding on my boxers as I stand.
She wraps the blankets tighter around herself as she sits up, watching me walk to the dwindling fire and our now dry clothes. I get dressed quickly, keeping my back to Raina, but her gaze is a constant presence along my spine, the knowing tingles unwanted, but undeniable.
I add another two logs to the burning cinders and stoke it until it gets going again. The temperature of the room is surprisingly mild, considering a snowstorm blazed all night.
I head to the little window by the front door and check what we’re up against outside. To my relief, I find it’s stopped snowing, and the accumulation isn’t too deep. I could easily trek through it without too much trouble. Raina, on the other hand…
“The storm seems to have passed. After breakfast, I’ll head out and get some help. We should be able to get a signal now back on the main road. I shouldn’t be gone too long, but you’ll need to stay here with your ankle being banged up and rest your foot.”
Raina doesn’t respond, just sort of half-asses a nod in my direction. I leave it at that and head to the kitchen. Last night I noticed there were eggs in a cupboard, but I didn’t check any dates. I start with those, and then hunt for anything else. It's a lot easier to do with better lighting and when I’m not freezing my ass off.
I manage to find a skillet, one big and solid enough I can use on the log fire, and instant coffee. The eggs are in date, just, and there are still two cans of beans. At least I can heat them up after finding the right pans.
“I found some coffee, but no milk. Do you want a black one with breakfast?”
“Yeah, if there is sugar.”
I wave the packet of raw sugar so Raina can see, and she grins, giving me the thumbs-up. I get to work on breakfast and our coffee, but it doesn’t take long to attract Raina’s attention with all that I’m doing. Her need for answers constantly and her never-ending fascination are a few of the things that I find so attractive about her. The fact that she’s only wrapped in a blanket and completely naked is so not helping my need for distance.
“You really are full of surprises; though, I shouldn’t be surprised, really. Knowing all I do. Not that, that’s much.”
I shrug. “I have a large skill set. It’s always been important to me to fill my bucket, so to speak, with as much information and resources as I can. The day we stop learning is the day we die.”
“I’ve heard that before.”
“Probably from me.”
“Probably.”
“My mum used to say it to me all the time.”
“Mine just says ‘stand up straight and smile for God’s sake’.” She chuckles good-naturedly.
“She has a point. You don’t smile nearly enough, or stand up straight.”
“Ha. I don’t really have that much to smile about lately. Except you. You make me smile constantly. And laugh.”
I’m not sure what I can say to that, so I go for the easy out.
“Well, I am rather witty, and I do find making fun of you entertaining.”
She rolls her eyes, and I laugh, almost burning myself with the skillet. “How do you like your eggs?”
“Fertilized?”
“That’s not even funny.”
“Oh, come on. It totally is.”
“Nope.”
“Yes. You’re not the only one who’s funny.”
“You’re just funny looking, and that doesn’t count.”
“Ha!”
I suppress my chuckle, not wanting to prove her point that I find her entertaining at all. But when I look back at her to say… I have no idea what because I’m suddenly rendered mute when I notice, how can you not, that the blanket has slipped down, showcasing her beautiful breasts rather seductively. Not that there is any way they could be anything but seductive.
Shit.
“Funny looking, huh? Tell that to your face right now.” Shit, shit, shit. “I’d believe you more if you weren’t drooling.”
I scoff. Reaching toward her, I take the edge of the blanket and pull it up, covering the offending appendages and my X-rated view. This does nothing to sway Raina, though. She shoots me a knowing smile, and I want to throttle her, and myself.
“Breakfast is ready. Do you wanna get dressed while I plate it out?”
“Oh. So what kinda eggs am I getting?”
“The unfertilized, sunny side up variety.”
“Oh. Boring.”
I roll my eyes at the princess as I get up to get plates, cups, and cutlery. Rai
na stands, right in front of me, and drops her blanket, clad in nothing but her birthday suit. Dear God. I fight my arousal and raise an eyebrow, feigning disinterest. The glowing glint in Raina’s eyes tells me she’s not fooled.
I walk off to the kitchen, leaving the skillet and makeshift kettle resting on a log, while Raina slides on her leggings and one of her sweaters, completely sans underwear. I should have cooked more food; I feel like I’m starving.
Sitting cross-legged on the small rug in front of the fire, looking like the cat that got the canary, Raina waits for me to dish up our breakfast. I split what I cooked on to the two plates and hand one to Raina before joining her cross-legged on the rug, but not before handing over her steaming cup of coffee.
“This isn’t bad, thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Princess.”
“We’re back to calling me Princess now?”
“We never stopped.”
“You called me Raina, last night…”
“I did…” It seemed almost inappropriate to call her Princess when I was buried inside her. Well, more inappropriate than actually being inside her was.
That seems to kill all conversation, and we both stay quiet while we finish eating our breakfast. It’s not an awkward silence, but it does feel a little weighted, but damned if I know how to break it or fix it. I continue the silence once we’ve finished breakfast and take our plates to the kitchen, cleaning them, and then leave them in the drying rack. I turn around to catch Raina chewing on her bottom lip. This can’t be good.
“Everything okay, Princess? Are, are you … in pain?”
“What? No, I’m fine. I mean, my foot feels okay, no pain.”
That’s not what I was trying to ask, but I don’t correct her. Instead, I make my way back to the fire to add an extra log and finish my coffee. Raina’s hesitant voice pausing me in mid-action.
“Gavin?”
“Yeah?” I respond hesitantly. I know that tone, nothing good comes from it.
“I want to ask you for a favor.”
“Alright, I’m listening.”
“I need, I mean, I’d like, if you could. Well that is—”
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