“Shhh. Let’s get you changed and checked out by a doctor. We don’t want anything to happen to this person, do we?”
“I can’t…” My words fall from my lips. I can’t do that to Pawn, have another good thing taken away from him.
Vegas reads my thoughts and rubs my shoulder and begins to lead me inside, “We won’t think that way until we know that is the case. I bet you things are just fine, but we need to take care of you both. Hang on to me, I got you.”
If I wasn’t so stressed, I would have stopped to see the pain that lingers in her eyes. The loss of her baby still a scar that will live within her, wounds that will never fully heal. She is brave and leads me through the maze of hallways and an elevator ride to the OB floor.
She squeezes my hand, “No matter what, I am here. No matter what. Let’s check on the little nugget.” What she doesn’t say is, she will be here if I lose my baby. My God, I can’t lose our baby.
Tank
My phone pings with a text from Kat, informing me the doctors cast his broken arm and wanted him to stay sedated for a few more hours. He was a caged lion when he was dragged into the van and even worse when he realized that we took Tami away. I could barely hold the man down when we plunged a needle into him to put him to sleep. There was no way he would sit through an x-ray and everything else they needed to do for him with everything going on. I stood there a brief moment and looked down at a man that fought for his family. He more than has my respect. I vowed to bring them back together as a family.
Tami is back with him now and resting while a prospect is at the hospital watching over them. I didn’t want to leave my lil’ T alone, but I had to. As much as it killed me to ask Vegas to help her, after losing her first baby, it had to be done. We all had to pitch in to get us through the mess.
Tami would want her son over anything else in the world. As soon as she and Pawn were safely in the hands of doctors, I was out the door and on the road. The haunted look on her face was one I hope I never have to witness myself again in this lifetime.
I’ve been on the road for hours now, chasing down the assholes that stole Cash straight from the arms of his mother. None of that has gone down well with anyone. Stryker and his VP Titan have locked down the southern border tight. The hitmen are closing in, blood thirsty, the internet is cutting deals for a team to bring these men down, it’s countdown to not if but when. They signed their death warrant.
I’m right behind Blade and the brothers on their bikes. My job is simple. I’m bringing home Cash today. No doubt about it.
Chapter 33
Blade
The whole time I have to live with the guilt of what I have done. I can hear everything that is going on. Somewhere along the way, Tami dropped the phone and thank God the call didn’t disconnect.
Spider is gone, but Kat was here, and she quickly jumped in to trace the call and record it. Tank lead the guys out to go find them. Kat took over command with laser focus in Spider’s office.
Every scream and cry will forever be imprinted in my soul for the rest of my life. I’m holding on by a thread myself with the aggression and anger from the whole scene. The chaos since we moved up here has reeked enough havoc among my men and now the women.
I can hear the muffled, cracked voice of Tami come through, “You can’t leave me here with our babies. I promised Eric I will get our baby back. I didn’t think taking the money would hurt any of you, I’m so sorry.” She sniffles, “God, take it all, but not them.”
The sound of the motorcycles pulls in and the SUV to pick up Pawn and Tami.
Tank’s strangled voice assaults my ears, “Tami, lil’ T, come here sweetheart. Let the guys take Pawn, okay.” It sounds like he’s approaching a wounded animal, and I guess you can say he most definitely is.
“Tank,” she gasps, “They took my baby. Cash is w-with them.”
“Who?”
“The guys that we stole the diamond from and Amanda. They came back for payback and they took h-hi-im.”
I can’t take anymore, because it’s not helping. I can’t allow the club to fall at the mercy of what I did. It’s time that I show the world how ruthless I can be. The eyes of the underworld will see how I hunt.
Turning the speaker down, I order Kat, “Put a bounty on their heads. Alive. I want Cash unharmed or no reward. Make it viral to the best hitmen of the underworld. Call Stryker and let him know I will be out hunting. You know how to handle the rest.”
The clock has started, and time is against me. Every second that passes is a risk of life and death. A game never to be played with the thugs and thieves of the world, only if you can stand to lose it all, I can’t. That drives me to be the most lethal man in the world.
I bark at the Prospects to round up the women and kids, bring them here, and lock down the club. Barging through the front doors, I find Fuego and his men, Cuervo, and Axl, my VP, ready at the bikes. The pressure builds with every step down the path to retribution. South. We are coming for them. The wolf pacing inside of us all howls in our minds, waiting to be freed when our bikes turn over. The gas igniting our need for blood and vengeance.
Hide, motherfuckers, the Battle Born MC is coming for you.
Pawn
Heat. That’s the first thing I feel waking up before the shooting pain cripples me from moving. Someone is next to me, but where? Barely, I can peek open an eye to find Tami’s blond head and her body curled up at my side on the bed.
My left arm feels too heavy to pick up normally and I see that it has been casted. Breathing is near impossible with sharp pains bursting with every inhale. I groan, running my hand over the bandages. The aches are immense but bearable. When my mind starts to un-fog from the drugs pumped into my system, I realize that Cash is missing from the room and the reality slams into my chest more forceful than any broken bone.
He is gone and I’ve failed them.
The fingers from my right hand roam over Tami’s back and land in her hair. Her head is resting next to my hip and her feet are dangling off the end of the bed. They would be better off without me. I couldn’t figure out who was coming for us and I couldn’t protect them in the end.
My mind goes to war as the dirty thoughts I listened to before come and settle in to attack me like an old friend. They whisper the lies I would listen to. “Pawn, run far away,” they taunt, “go light up the bud and the world will disappear. Let me be your mistress. I’ll take care of you, baby.”
My body itches to listen. To get up out of this bed alone and leave behind the love that I don’t deserve because I wasn’t man enough. Isn’t this enough of a sign that I’m not cut out for a wife and kids?
The shame settles in but the look on Blade’s face is front and center. His resolve to, no matter what, protect his club, woman, and children. Fuck! Internally, I scream. I want that. I can’t be weak and fold. Abuela’s words come to my mind, “Your road will be very hard, at times. Be strong, for them. Be their strength and bear the pain.”
Clenching my eyes shut, I fight off all the old lies. Shedding away the weakness, my resolve comes back with every beat of my heart. I’m still here, I’m alive and there is still a fight in me to be the man I need for them. My blood pressure spikes. Could something worse have happened to Tami while I was out? Did she lose the baby? She must feel the heavy breaths that pump in and out of my chest. Holding the anger, pain, and worry inside that war each other to be free.
Her head comes up and those beautiful eyes open. The deep dark circles and puffiness show me the torture she’s been in while I was out. “Eric,” she chokes on a sob.
Slowly I set the bed up with the remote and she straddles my lap gently encasing me in her arms. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know they would ever come after us, I didn’t know I swear.” Tami pleads for my forgiveness and strength because she feels even more shattered by this than I would have known.
How could I be angry at her for how cruel this world can be? “Don’t cry, angel, I know it’s not your f
ault. It’s not good for my baby…” the words trailing off, because I could be wrong. What if?
Her forehead touches mine, “As far as what my doctor said last night, the baby is okay, but I am supposed to take it easy and check in with him regularly. But how, Pawn, when Cash is still missing?” Hope spreads through me like a hit of relief.
A single tear falls from her face, coating my cheek. “Have faith. That Blade and the MC will take care of us. They will bring him home to us.” I don’t say alive, because like her, I have never believed in miracles. Until she does, I will for the both of us. My hands run over her body, and there is proof of that with her here, faithfully at my side, believing in me and alive. That’s all I need to know the truth. There is no stopping love from making you a believer in miracles.
Chapter 34
Tami
Vegas stands at the doorway with her keys in her hand. “Are you ready?” I can barely move. Let alone, think past the next move or know what is up or down at the moment.
Looking around, I feel lost. I start to panic looking for my purse, phone, or anything that belongs to me. “I can’t find anything.” But what I am looking for really is a diaper bag and a person. Without him in my world, it feels bare and empty.
Vegas’s soft touch halts my nervous searching and irrational thoughts. “All your stuff is at the clubhouse.”
I nod and try to pick myself up from where I am, desperate and scared. There’s no room for that though. I’ll be strong and hold on. Minute by minute if I have to. Taking in a deep inhale I look up and straighten my spine.
“There she is.” Vegas is trying to coax me into the world. “Keep breathing, honey, I got you.”
Pawn slowly gets off the bed and sits in the wheelchair when the nurse strolls in. He grumbles at her, which she reminds him that she is required to push him out to the car. I would bet on that she doesn’t want to do it anymore than he does.
Together we walk out of the room and side-by-side and we wander silently down the halls. How will this all turn out when the dust settles? When we reach the elevator, I look up at the ceiling and practice the breathing that I need to keep the strength I need to see me through this.
Pawn’s hand grips mine from beside me and I look down. His bruised and battered face is almost unrecognizable. His hand squeezes mine and my eyes clench tight. He’s alive, Cash is still alive, I can feel him in my heart. I know what death feels like and it’s not here. I squeeze his back. Hope is alive.
The ride is silent on the way to the clubhouse. All our thoughts circle around the unknown and wait for the answers no one has yet. Only one thing is certain. There will be an end to today.
Pawn
My old room feels different as Tami and I walk in and find stuff from our house already here. Our clothes and bath stuff sit on the bed. The space is dead because the man that lived here before no longer exists. His past demons still haunt the room like a bad dream.
If I could wish to take back my past? I wouldn’t. There has been a lot that has been learned and one thing is my past can’t wear me down. Picking up the shower supplies I take Tami’s hand and lead her into the bathroom. I turn on the shower and let the water run while I help her undress. The fatigue, I can see is taking its toll on her. I need to wash away the emotions that have bound themselves to us.
She doesn’t fight me but lets me take over. Once her clothes are removed, I help her into the shower, and we hand each other what we need. I let the hot water hit the back of my head and everything fucking hurts. Not just the gaping hole in my chest. We dry off and lay down with her on the small bed and pull in close, spooning her from behind. Selfishly I take her comfort and anything I can. Looking for reasons to stay strong because like my ribs, the world is broken without my boy here.
“Go to sleep, momma.” I kiss down her neck and shoulder and pull the blankets up and over us. Encasing us and praying for some relief from the agony. My body is as broken as my spirit is and as painful as that is, that is nothing compared to watching your woman shatter before your eyes.
Tami lets loose what I know she’s been trying to hold in. Gut wrenching sobs break free and I hold onto her. “Let it out. I’m here and will always be here. Say goodbye to those fears, angel.” I take what I can because I need her whole and I vowed to protect her, even though my mind screams for relief. Her body shakes and Tami’s hands cover her face. “I’ve seen my share of bad times, Tami, and this is the worst, but we are still fighting. Be brave, angel, and believe we can still have it all. Together we can do anything.”
Tami doesn’t respond but settles down. It takes time, but she gives into the needs her body has and falls fast asleep. I reach around her with my right hand and cradle her stomach down low. Never in my life have I prayed for anything more than I do now. More for her than me, I ask for this. To keep this baby safe. I’ve been through it all, I may not be deserving, but I need this baby to make it. This baby was meant to be my angel on earth and not heaven. I fight against the bad thoughts that tell me I’m not enough and tell the universe I am.
I could make it through the loss, but I know it would tear her world apart. The heartbreak would change her, and I don’t want that. I need her to be the way she is. The change would eat me alive. My strength I dig deep inside for her to take from me the will to survive and persevere the tough times. It strange, the feeling that comes to me is it is a she.
My body weakens and I fall in a heap next to her. Tami is my vice in this life, with her I can fight it all. Never alone but always as one, living for forever. I’ll walk in the pits of hell, so she never has to.
Tami
I’m not sure how long I am out for, but when I do come to, I am all alone. Today I have no pride, there is no room for it. I need someone to lean on, my once free wings feel too heavy to fly. The emotions are overwhelming and has humbled me. There is nothing more important than the family you have.
Walking out into the bar, the quiet is stifling. Deciding I need a tea I go to the kitchen and make one then head out back. There I find Kat and Vegas smoking. I find a chair and take a step towards that direction when their heads snap up to me.
“What?” Their faces are holding a secret.
“They found him,” Kat answers.
The tea I was holding crashes to the ground. The mug breaks into pieces and the liquid splashes up onto my legs.
“They found him?” I whisper.
Vegas stands and comes to me, “That’s all we know. But it’s good news. Blade and Tank will go to hell and back for you. Hang on, T, they will bring your baby home.”
My heart pounds in my ears and I sit down holding my face in my hands.
“What is it?” Pawn demands from the door.
My head pops up and my relief floods every pore, “They know where he is.”
“I was just coming to tell you, angel.” He holds up his phone, “Just a little longer, okay?”
I nod my head and Vegas passes by, “I’m going to make you another tea, sit there and don’t move. Let the sun seep in. I’ll be back in a few.”
Kat’s worried and tired face finds mine, “She’s been worried sick about you too, you know.”
Being lost in my head, I didn’t have time to think how this would affect her with her own loss. Even though she’s had the twins, some scars never will go completely away, and this one is hers. The baby she lost. Instinctively, I hold my own belly.
“I have to believe that we will be okay.”
“She will be,” Pawn answers. Both Kat and I give him a questioning looks. “The baby, she’s a girl, and she’s stronger than we give her credit for. My angel will make it.”
I’m up and out of my chair, wrapping my arms around his middle. I hold on because he has made it possible for me to.
“Everything okay,” Vegas announces herself coming back out.
“Yes,” Pawn says, “we are having a girl.”
Vegas stalls, speechless for a moment. “I would love that.” Not bothering
to ask how or argue.
Even with the bright information the somber mood hangs onto us. Until the sun sets and hopefully, I will have my baby in my arms, will all be okay.
Chapter 35
Blade
Glaring at Spider from across the rundown gas station parking lot, I’m pissed. I don’t know how much exactly, or if at all that he’s part to blame for this fuck up, but his head has been rammed clear up his ass lately. I’m going to find out once and for all what he has been up too. All of us feel the pressure but no one more than me. I gave Tami the money, but they went after her because kidnapping my kids was a much harder target.
They thought taking her son was easier. Suspecting that since Solo died she was unclaimed, and they could get back at her for stealing from them in the first place. It all traced back to her in the end. The kicker of it all, they think I made money off it. All of them do, except me and Stryker know the truth and that is how we are leaving it. I paid the club dues and gave the rest to her, which could have been my cut, but it wasn’t. Pacing back and forth I try to work off the anger that keeps building into a bomb wanting to explode.
Spider keeps me in his peripheral but doesn’t say a word. He’s smart enough to know when to approach me and when to let shit lie. This is one of those times. Eventually, he and I will have it out about what is going on.
My phone alerts to me a call from Kat, “Eyes on him, just north of Death Valley. Stryker is on his way up from Las Vegas. I’m sending you the tracking information from the hitman, alias is Nocturnal.”
The line goes dead and I wait for the text to come through. A small green dot shows me their location and I race back to my bike realizing we are just behind them. Pulling my shades down and my black bandana over my nose and mouth, I jump back onto my ride. Whether the guys are ready to roll out or not, I tear out of the parking lot.
Loving You Forever (Battle Born MC Book 7) Page 18
