Maybe next time they were together, Aaron would talk about the subject. And there would be a next time, Aaron was sure. Whenever that was, if Cory knew that Aaron was going to be his friend, it might not hurt so much that Aaron wasn’t his dad. He grinned as he pulled his truck back into traffic and headed home. His heart was full, and he hadn’t felt this good in a long time. Maybe ever. Whatever the season brought, through intense workouts and hard-fought competition, he would hold tight to the memory of this night.
And if he found the courage, he would ask God to help Megan feel for him what he felt for her.
However slow he needed to move from here.
TWENTY
Somewhere along the course of the night, Megan had lost her ability to stay distant. She had fewer reasons to dislike Aaron, now that he knew about Cory’s fantasy and even so, he was still coming around. News accounts and Sports Illustrated, televised post-game interviews and gossip columns all showed Aaron being arrogant and indifferent. He was fearless on the field, yes, and he won often. But he never showed the sort of humility and compassion that made sports so compelling.
But tonight, he was someone entirely different. Walking beside her and listening to her, holding her when she let her crazy fear of boats stop him from taking her to a gourmet restaurant…that guy intrigued her. And when he showed up at her apartment again the following Friday, she and Cory went with him back to the pier without hesitation.
They ate at the Sea Lion Café again, and Cory and Aaron had their picture taken in the arcade. Afterward Cory spotted the Turbo Ride. Megan didn’t care for amusement park rides, so she wasn’t sure she should attempt it, but Cory took the lead, bouncing and talking loudly about how he’d seen this on TV once and it was the best ride ever and how they had to all three ride it because the seats went straight across and Aaron could sit in the middle.
“What exactly is it?” Megan was relieved it had nothing to do with water. It was inside a building, after all.
“It’s amazing!” Cory grinned. “That’s what.”
“Which one should we ride?” Aaron put his arm around Cory’s shoulders and they stared at a sign listing the possible adventures.
“Extreme Log Ride!” Cory turned and high-fived Aaron. “That’s gotta be the best!”
Megan hung back as Aaron and Cory moved up to the front of the line, ordering tickets. “Hey, guys…”
The music from inside the Turbo Ride was so loud they didn’t hear her. She moved to Aaron’s side. “Not the Extreme Log Ride, okay?”
Cory giggled. He held up three tickets, each of which read, “Extreme Log Ride.”
“Come on.” Aaron was being pulled toward the entrance line by Cory. He waved for her to follow. “I’ll keep you dry!”
She let her shoulders slump forward. “Fine.” Her heart thudded in a strange off-beat pattern. Ridiculous, she told herself. It’s a simulator. She caught up to them just as the double doors were opening. “I’ll have you know”—she leaned close to Aaron, so Cory wouldn’t hear her—“I’m scared to death.”
“You said you wanted to get used to being on the water.” Aaron touched his hand to the small of her back and let her go in front of him. Teasing colored his voice.
The theater was dark with only eight rows of eight seats. They chose the third row and Aaron took the middle, like Cory had planned. Megan buckled her seatbelt and wondered if everyone in the theater could hear her pounding heart. She gripped the arms of her seat, pursed her lips, and exhaled. It was only a movie with special effects. If it felt too crazy, she could close her eyes and she’d be fine. She took a steady breath, just as Cory leaned around Aaron.
“It’s not real,” he whispered. “You won’t get wet.”
“I know.” Her returned whisper was marked with light sarcasm, and she caught Aaron grinning into his fist. “Thanks, Cory.”
The lights faded to black and the screen came to life. Immediately the seats lurched forward and Megan swallowed a scream. “I’m not made for this sort of ride.” She muttered the words, and as she did she felt Aaron’s hand cover her own on the armrest.
He leaned close. “I won’t let you drown.” He breathed the words against her cheek. “It’ll be okay.”
Instantly they were on the water, sitting in a flimsy-looking log. At least it felt that way. The seats rocked gently in time with the rhythm of the water, as the log at first floated across calm waters toward what looked like a steep drop-off. Whatever lay ahead wasn’t nearly as frightening with Aaron’s hand over hers. Megan pressed herself toward the back of the chair. “Here we go…”
The log reached the edge of the waterfall and the nose went straight out at first before gravity sucked it straight down. Megan’s stomach dropped, and suddenly the feeling inside her wasn’t silly amusement park nervousness. It was outright fear. Without thinking, she grabbed onto Aaron’s arm and buried her face in his shoulder. Breathe, Megan…come on, breathe.
Almost instinctively, Aaron put both arms around her and cradled her close to his chest. “I told you I wouldn’t let you drown.” His words were velvet against her face.
She peeked at the screen, and now the log had reached the bottom of the drop and was jerking and fighting its way through thick, frothy white rapids. The simulator jolted and jerked and bumped as they hit various rocks and pushed their way forward. But with Aaron’s arms around her, the irrational fear that had seized her a few seconds ago eased. She turned back toward the screen. It was incredible. It truly felt like they were on the log, surrounded by angry water on every side.
Then the strangest thing happened. Megan was actually enjoying the ride. Safe in Aaron’s arms, she didn’t care if they hit a rock or dropped off another waterfall. Because her mind was only partly focused on the adventure on the screen. The greater adventure, the one happening in her heart, was all but consuming her. Here, her head against him, his arms around her, she could smell his cologne, feel his heartbeat and the rise and fall of his chest with every breath. The sensation was intoxicating, unlike anything Megan had ever known.
“Feeling better?” His words were like a soft caress, filling her senses.
“Much.” She was grateful for the darkness, grateful he couldn’t see the heat in her cheeks.
She wasn’t sure how Aaron could have such an effect on her so quickly. No matter how she felt right now, the thought of falling for him was more terrifying than any boat ride. But no matter what common sense had to say, Megan was only certain of one thing.
She didn’t want the log ride to end.
After another minute of rapids, their vessel survived and floated into still waters once more. Aaron released his tender hold on her, but again he covered her hand with his and gave it a single squeeze.
The lights lifted and Cory jumped from his seat. “That was so cool! See, Megan, no problem!”
Megan thought about the feelings tumbling around inside her, her attraction to Aaron and the senselessness of it. She smoothed her T-shirt and smiled at the child. “I’m not sure.”
“I kept you from drowning.” Aaron winked at her. They left the theater with Cory in the lead, and Aaron reached back and took her hand. Softly, he ran his thumb along her palm. Before they walked into daylight, he grinned at her. “Personally, I think we should ride it again.”
She kicked lightly at his tennis shoe. “So you can see me scared to death.”
For a moment, she thought he might turn around and pull her into his embrace. But he only hesitated, still looking over his shoulder. “Was it that bad?” His smile sounded in every word.
She held his eyes, knowing that whether or not she wanted them to be, her feelings were laid out for him to see. “No.” She tightened her fingers around his hand, mesmerized by the feel of his skin against hers. “It wasn’t.”
They finished the night with ice cream, and Aaron maintained a comfortable distance between them. A couple times he suggested another go-round in the Turbo Ride might be smart, but his comment only allo
wed him to exchange a knowing smile with Megan.
As they licked their cones, Megan studied Cory. She was impressed with him, both tonight and last week when Aaron took them to the pier. The boy still believed Aaron was his father, but he hadn’t mentioned the idea even once. She sensed the subject would come up eventually.
It happened on the ride back to their apartment. Cory leaned up between Aaron and Megan and gave a troubled sigh.
Aaron reached a red light and glanced back at Cory. He seemed to sense Cory was thinking about something other than sea lions and turbo rides. “So did you ace your spelling test?”
“One wrong.” Cory sounded disappointed. “I hate getting one wrong.”
“Me too.” Aaron snuck a quick look at Megan. “All the other ones might be easy, but you miss out on that one that’s most difficult, and it ruins everything. Because really that’s the only one that matters.”
“Right.” Cory didn’t look too deep into Aaron’s statement.
Sitting next to him, Megan was trembling. Aaron’s message was unmistakable, and it sent a warm, tingly feeling through her body. Was that really how he saw her? The one woman in his life who was difficult, the only one who mattered? She looked out the windshield and tried to imagine what might become of her if she actually let herself fall, if she trusted Aaron Hill with her heart. Cold terror ran through her veins, but it mixed with a warmth she’d never known any other time in her life, a warmth that only being with him could bring.
Cory was talking about school and his upcoming soccer game. “You can come if you want. I play tomorrow morning.”
“Well…” Aaron thought for a minute. “We have another away game this weekend, so I’ll leave early tomorrow.” His eyes lit up. “But let’s try for next Saturday.”
They talked about Cory’s game time and set a plan. Cory was still leaning forward, and again Megan could practically feel him thinking. “You know what else I’ve been doing?”
Aaron kept his eyes on the road. “What?”
“Going through the stuff my mom left for me. It’s all in a box, so I can pull it out and look through it any time.”
“That’s good.” Tenderness crept into Aaron’s tone. “I’m sure the things in the box are very special.”
“They are.” Cory sounded more nervous with every few words. “She wrote some letters for you in there too. They have your name across the front, but I never opened them ’cause you don’t open other people’s mail.” He was picking up speed. “So I can get ’em to you if you want, ’cause maybe you’d like to read what she wrote sometime. Plus she cut out articles of you in college and when you signed with the 49ers and—”
“Cory…” Megan looked at him. “That’s enough.”
The implied warning in her voice made his expression fall. “I was just saying…”
“Cory…” She mixed compassion with a no-nonsense tone that put an end to the conversation. She faced forward again, afraid to look at Aaron. Megan had heard from Cory once a long time ago about the letters, but she hadn’t seen them. Just one more part of Cory’s imagination where Aaron was concerned. Now though, she felt sorry for the boy. He knew he wasn’t supposed to talk about this, but it must’ve been building inside him all night. Finally, she met Aaron’s curious look, and she mouthed a silent apology.
Aaron looked in his rearview mirror. “Letters like that are a very important thing, aren’t they, Cory?”
“Yes.” His voice was small.
“Maybe you can show me sometime.” His voice was relaxed, casual. It was clear he didn’t believe anything in the letters was really written by Cory’s mother specifically to him. But he must’ve wanted to validate Cory’s feelings.
Megan’s admiration for him doubled. When Amy died, when Megan made her decision to take Cory as her own, she knew the sacrifice she was making. Guys would have to like Cory if they were ever going to like her, which ruled out most of the men she would ever meet. Megan could still hear the determination in the voice of one business guy, a man she’d met at Bob’s Diner: “You’ve got a kid…” He held up his hands like a traffic cop stopping traffic. “Never mind. Too much baggage.”
Megan didn’t care, really. She would’ve been fine if she remained single—for a year or a decade. Forever, if that’s the way things worked out. That’s what she’d always told herself. She’d made a good life for Cory and her, and that, combined with her friendship with God, was enough. No one to rely on, no one to let her down.
As Aaron dropped them off, he leaned over and hugged her, holding on a little longer than necessary. He drew back and looked deep into her eyes. “When can I see you again?”
“Aaron…I don’t know.” She couldn’t think straight, couldn’t imagine a way to answer him without diving into waters she couldn’t escape. Her mind was dizzy with his nearness, and she couldn’t catch her breath. Everything inside her screamed for the chance to kiss him, to get lost in his embrace without thought or reason interfering. Instead, she thanked him for the night, and her eyes held his as she climbed out and headed inside with Cory. Only then did she exhale.
By the time she fell into bed that night, she realized something about herself. Maybe she didn’t want to be single, after all. Because more than air, she wanted Aaron Hill beside her again, protecting her from a simulated log ride, their arms touching.
She rolled over in bed and willed herself to fall asleep. Her paper route was in five hours, and she wasn’t thinking straight. No need wasting sleep over Aaron Hill, no matter how she’d felt in his arms, no matter how her heart soared when she was with him. Everything Aaron did was newsworthy and public—the sort of life Megan never wanted for herself. Aaron Hill falling for a papergirl? That sort of thing simply didn’t happen. Even if she could stand the thought of letting herself fall.
A sigh came from her soul and filled the quiet room. These past few Fridays were just a chance at friendship, and Aaron, a person who was breezing through their lives at a time when she and Cory needed the diversion. But no matter how she tried to convince herself that her feelings for Aaron couldn’t possibly amount to anything, she came up short. It was too late to question whether she was falling for Aaron Hill. She’d fallen. Totally and completely. Whatever became of the situation, she would hold tight to the memory of today. The conversation, the laughter, the sunset.
And the thrill of a log ride that would stay with her forever.
Cory was glad Megan wasn’t too mad at him. She tucked him in and told him it wasn’t good to break the rules, but she understood why he did it.
“He’s a very nice man,” she told him. “But he’s not your dad, Cory. You have to believe that.”
This wasn’t the time to tell Megan, even politely, that she was wrong. So he nodded and set his picture of him and Aaron from Pier 39 on the windowsill next to his bed. When he had it balanced just right, Megan prayed with him, and she asked God to work out all the questions that didn’t have answers. Cory wasn’t sure what that meant, but it had to do with Aaron. He knew that much.
When Megan was gone and the door to his room was closed, he crept off his bottom bunk and turned on the flashlight by his bed. ’Cause the main light might shine through the door and Megan would know he was up. He moved really quiet and aimed the flashlight under his bed toward his box of special things. Then he pulled it out and shone the light straight inside.
There had to be a clue, right? When he read mystery books, there was always a clue. And since Megan didn’t believe him and even Aaron didn’t believe him, he had to find something. He pointed the light at one of the envelopes with Aaron’s name on it. What would be the best thing, the best way to prove he was telling the truth? He bit hard on his lip and thought for a minute. A picture, of course. A photo of his mom and Aaron together. But he only had a handful of pictures and they were of him or his mom and him. That’s all.
He sifted around and found the envelope marked with only the word “PRIVATE.” His fingers felt it on the top and the
bottom, and then he picked it up. It was lumpier than the other envelopes, so it might have something other than a letter inside. Something that might be a clue.
All this time Cory always figured this letter was for Aaron too. But it didn’t say Aaron’s name, actually. Private didn’t mean only Aaron could open it. His heart jumped around a little more than before. Private only meant his mom didn’t want lots of people passing it around and making it public. Yeah, that’s right. Because in English they studied opposites and public was the opposite of private. So if he didn’t make whatever was in the envelope public, he would still be obeying his mom’s wishes.
Cory held his breath and suddenly he was convinced. He blew the air out of his lungs and ripped a small rip down the side of the envelope, which wasn’t easy since he had the flashlight in one hand. Carefully he shook the envelope and out came just one thing. A picture. Cory’s heart beat like a loud drum and he could hardly hear himself think. He picked up the photo with his left hand and aimed the light at it with the other. He did a long gasp, so long he had to press his lips together so Megan wouldn’t hear him in the next room. This was the clue he’d been looking for, a clue he would save for just the right moment.
The picture was of a teenage girl and a guy in sort of a slow dance kind of pose. They were dressed in nice clothes next to some flowers, and beneath it in gold letters were the words, “Prom, 1995.” And the people in the picture were his mom and a guy who looked almost the same all these years later. A guy who matched with the newspaper clippings in his special box, and so Cory had no doubts at all.
The guy was Aaron Hill.
TWENTY-ONE
Derrick took his seat on the private jet preparing to fly the 49ers home to San Francisco, and he hung his head. He was as dazed as the rest of the guys, trying to fathom how they’d lost two straight road games to mediocre teams. He clenched his jaw and willed himself back in time, back to that first Monday night when they had one win and unlimited potential.
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