by P. C. Cast
A moment was all Zoey’s restlessness needed, and with a miserable cry she said, “I have to go! I have to keep going, Heath. That’s all I can seem to do.” Before he could stop her, she went away from him with a strange, almost floating motion that carried her pale body like a feather in a strong wind, quickly, erratically, and farther into the grove.
“Well, shit. This is so not working for me.” He started to follow Zoey. He had to make her hear him. He had to help her. Then he faltered, slowing to a stop. The problem was, he didn’t know how to help her. “I don’t know what to do!” he shouted as he slammed his fist into the side of one of the grove’s moss-covered trees. “I don’t know what to do!” Heath hit the tree again, ignoring the pain in his hand. “I. Do. Not. Know. What. To. Fucking. Do!” he punctuated each word with his fist until his knuckles split open, and the scent of his own blood lifted to linger around him.
That was when the shadow covered the sun. Wiping his throbbing hand on the moss, he looked up.
Darkness. Wings. Blotting out the Goddess’s light.
Heart thundering, Heath crouched, fisting his bleeding hands defensively, but the attack didn’t come.
What came instead was revelation in the form of whispered thoughts that seemed to seep from the shadows above and sink through the blood scent into his veins.
She would stay here with you, forever, but she must be whole.
Heath blinked in surprise. “Huh? Who’s there?”
Use your mind, insignificant mortal!
“Yeah, okay,” Heath said, squinting up at the hovering shadows. Was it Kalona? He couldn’t get a good look at the thing.
You must make her call the pieces of her soul together, then she will be able to rest here, in the sacred grove, with you.
“I get that. I just don’t get how to get her to do it. If that makes sense.”
The answer is in your bond with her.
“My bond with her, but I don’t know—” and then Heath realized he did know how to use their bond. All he had to do was make Zo listen to him, and he’d always been able to do that, even when he’d been acting like an asshole and drinking and messing up in school, and she’d tried to dump him. He’d always been able to bring them back together—to keep them together.
Then Heath grinned. That was it! Winged Darkness forgotten, he hurried after Zoey and the Goddess’s light, unrestricted, shone down into the grove again. Their bond was the key. It was them, together, that had always worked, no matter what else had been going on in their lives. The bond was still there, too. It had brought Zo to him, even after his death. That was what he’d use. Once Zo got it that they could be together, and that it was cool with him being here and all, she’d make herself whole. And then whatever else they had to come up against, they’d face it together—forever. Hell, that shouldn’t be too hard. His Zo could seriously kick some ass.
With new determination, Heath jogged after Zoey, when a whispered “Heath!” brought him up short.
“What the hell?”
“Back here!”
Heath turned around, where the golden thread had snagged in the branches of a rowan tree and blinked in total surprise when a guy stepped from behind the tree.
“Stark? What the—”
“Ssh! Do not let Zoey know I’m here.”
Heath walked over to the tree. “What the hell are you doing here?” But he didn’t give Stark a chance to answer. “Ah, fuck! Are you dead, too? Zo’s never gonna be able to handle that!”
“Keep your damn voice down. No, I’m not dead. I’m here to protect Zoey so that she can get back to her body where she belongs.” Stark paused, and then added, “You do know you’re dead, right?”
“Dude, no shit? I’m dead?” Heath said sarcastically. “Glad you’re here to enlighten me. Don’t know what the fuck I’d do without you.”
“Well how ’bout this: do you know Zoey’s soul’s shattered?”
Before Heath could say anything, both guys saw Zoey and Stark jumped back behind the tree, crouching in its shadow. Heath moved quickly to intercept her, blocking her view of Stark.
“You didn’t come after me. You always come after me.” Her body rocked back and forth as she tried to stay in one place.
“I’m coming, Zo. You know I’ll never leave you. It’s just that you’re faster than I am right now.”
“So you’re not leaving me?”
Heath touched her cheek, hating that she looked so weak and unsure, and totally un-Zoey-like. “No. I’m not leaving you. Go on ahead of me. I’ll catch up.” When she hesitated, and it was obvious she was going to start that freaky circle pacing around him again, which would take her too damn close to Stark’s hiding place, he added, “Hey, maybe it’d make you feel better to move real fast. Why don’t you kinda run, or float, or whatever it is you do for a while, and then come back here. If it’s okay with you, I’ll hang out here for a second. I need to rest a little.”
“Sorry . . . sorry . . . I forgot you need to rest . . . forgot . . .”
She started to float away, and Heath called after her, “Don’t go too far, though! And don’t forget to circle back here.”
“I won’t forget . . . can’t forget you,” she said. Without looking at him, she disappeared into the shadows.
Stark stepped away from the tree. His voice was rough with shock, “Oh, shit! It’s way worse than I thought.”
Heath nodded grimly. “Yeah. I know. The shattered-soul thing’s totally messed her up. She can’t rest, so she can’t think, and that’s doing something to her—something really, really bad.”
Still staring after Zoey, Stark said, “The High Council said this would happen. She’s turning into a Caoinic Shi’. She’s not dead and not alive, and she’s here in a realm of spirits without her own soul. It makes her like this, and it’ll get worse. She’ll never be able to rest—ever.”
“Then we gotta get her to pull herself together. I think I might be able to do it, too. And, dude, I’m not trying to be an asshole, but this isn’t something you can help with. If you want to give me a hand, go out there and kick the ass of the scary shit that’s kept us trapped in here. You handle that. I’ll handle Zo.”
Heath started to walk away, following Zoey, but Stark’s words halted him. “Yeah, you can get her spirit whole again by telling her you’ll stay here with her, but if you do that, you’ll fuck up everyone Zoey loves back in the real world.”
Heath turned back to face Stark. “It’s not cool for you to say shit like that. Just let her go, dude. I know you love her and all, but seriously, you’ve only known her a little while. I’ve been with her for years. I get that you’ll miss her, but she’ll be good here with me—she’ll be happy.”
“It’s not about love. It’s about doing the right thing. I give you my word as a Guardian that I’m telling you the truth. If Zoey doesn’t return to her body, the world as she knew it—as you knew it, will be destroyed.”
“What’s this Guardian stuff about?”
Stark drew in a deep breath. “It’s about honor.”
Something about Stark’s voice made Heath look at him with new eyes. The guy had changed. He looked somehow taller, older, and not his normal, cocky self. He looked sad. Very sad.
“You’re telling me the truth.”
Stark nodded. “Aphrodite had a vision. What she saw is that you get Zoey to pull her soul together. You do it by promising you’ll stay here with her. So she doesn’t turn into a Caoinic Shi’. She’s herself again. And she does stay here with you—forever. But without Zoey, there’s no one to stop Neferet and Kalona.”
“And they take over the world,” Heath finished for him.
“And they take over the world,” Stark agreed.
Heath’s eyes met Stark’s. “I have to leave Zoey.”
“I won’t let her be alone,” Stark told him. “I’m her Warrior, her Guardian. I give you my Oath that I’ll be sure she’s always protected.”
Heath nodded, looking away from Sta
rk, trying to get a handle on his emotions. He wanted to run—to find Zo and to be sure she stayed with him, here or anywhere, forever. But when his gaze went back to Stark, he knew the absolute truth: Zoey would hate it if her friends were destroyed. She’d hate it more than she loved him, more than she loved anyone. So if he really loved her, Heath would have to leave her.
Even though he felt like he was going to barf, Heath was glad his voice sounded calm and normal. “How are you gonna get her to pull herself together after I go?”
“Can’t you tell her you’re staying, get her together, and then go?”
Heath snorted, “Dude, I’m not gonna be too hard on you because you not being dead and all is totally making you moronic about this spirit stuff, but there’s no fucking way I can get Zo to call together pieces of her soul by telling her a lie. I mean, come on, that doesn’t even make sense.”
“Yeah, okay. I guess you’re right.” Stark ran his hand through his hair. “Then I don’t know how I’m gonna do it, but I will. I have to. If you’re man enough to leave her, I’m man enough to figure out how to save her.”
“Well, keep this in mind—Zo doesn’t like some dude saving her. She likes to take care of herself. Mostly, you just have to stand back and let her do her thing.”
Stark nodded solemnly. “I’ll remember that.”
“Okay. So. Let’s go after her.”
The two guys started walking toward the part of the grove where they’d last had a glimpse of Zoey.
“I’ll keep out of it while you say goodbye. I won’t let her see me till you’re gone,” Stark said.
Heath couldn’t trust his voice, so he just nodded.
“Tell me about that other stuff you said—the scary shit that’s trapping you in here.”
Heath cleared his throat, and said, “At first I thought it was Kalona, but weirdness happened today that makes me think it probably isn’t him. I mean, it was like that thing out there was helping me figure out how to save Zoey.”
“But stay here, right?”
“Yeah, right. That was kinda the point to the whole idea.”
“So Kalona told you how to be sure Zoey never leaves the Otherworld—never makes it back to her body,” Stark said. “Which is exactly what he’s supposed to do.”
“And he almost did that today by using me. Fucking asshole. Like it’s not bad enough he killed me!” Heath looked at Stark. “So that’s really why you’re here? I mean, I know you had to tell me I gotta get moving, but basically you’re here to kick Kalona’s ass so that Zoey really does make it home with you.”
“Yeah, it’s looking more and more like that’s what I’m here for.”
Heath snorted. “Good luck with kicking an immortal’s ass, dude.”
“I’ve been thinking about it, and all I really have to do is keep him away from Z long enough for her to get whole again. Then she can get out of here and back to her body, where Kalona can’t hurt her—or at least right now he can’t.”
“Nope. Sorry to mess up your plan, but if that was the deal, Zo wouldn’t need you to protect her.”
Stark gave him a question-mark look.
“It’s like this—Zo’s safe in the grove.” Heath pointed at the grove around them. “Bad shit can’t get in here. There’s something special about this place. It’s like everything magic about the earth down there came from this grove up here. It’s a version of Super Earth, a place of total peace. Can’t you feel it?”
“Yeah, Super Earth’s a good way to put it,” Stark said. “And I feel the peace part, too. I did from the beginning. It’s why I knew she’d stay here with you.”
“Yeah, she would. That’s why she needs you. ’Cause as long as she stays safe in here, she won’t go back to the real world. So, again, I say good luck with protecting her against Kalona. The asswipe killed me. Hope you do better than me. And if you do, kick his ass for me, and for Zo, too.”
“Will do. Hey, Heath, I want you to know something,” Stark said. “I wouldn’t be brave enough to do what you’re doing. I wouldn’t be able to leave her.”
Heath glanced at him and shrugged. “Yeah, well, I love her more than you do.”
“You’re doing the right thing, though. The honorable thing,” Stark said.
“You know, from where I’m standing right now, honor doesn’t mean shit. Love’s what works for me and Zo. It always has. It always will.”
They walked on silently, both lost in their own thoughts, and as they followed Zoey, Heath’s words replayed in Stark’s head, over and over, “Love’s what works for me and Zo. It always has. It always will,” until with jolt of surprise he got it—he really got it. It didn’t make what he was about to do any easier, but it did make it bearable.
They found her in a little clearing deep within the grove. She was walking around and around a tall evergreen that looked magnificent, but weirdly out of place among the rowans, hawthorns, and moss. The scent of the tree filled the area. They crept in, being careful to keep shrubs between them and Zoey’s line of vision. When Stark nodded and motioned to a man-sized clump of moss-covered rocks that was close enough to Zoey, but still under cover, Heath stopped there with him and took a deep breath, testing the air.
“That’s bizarre.” Heath kept his voice low so she wouldn’t hear him. “Wonder what a cedar tree is doing out here.”
“Cedar? That’s what that is?” Stark said.
“Yep. There’s a huge one between Zo’s old house and mine that looks almost exactly like that—smells totally the same, too.”
“It’s what Zoey’s grandma said to burn near me while I was here, in the Otherworld. Aphrodite brought a big bag of it. They lit it just before I left my body.” He looked at Heath. “The tree’s a good sign. It means we’re following the right path.”
Heath met Stark’s gaze a long time before he said, “I hope it is a good sign, but you gotta know that doesn’t make this any easier for me.”
“Yeah, I get that.”
“Do you? ’Cause I’m getting ready to leave the only girl I’ve ever loved to you even though I know she needs me bad.”
“What do you want me to say to you, Heath? That I wish it didn’t have to be this way? I do. That I wish you weren’t dead and Zoey’s soul wasn’t shattered, and the worst thing I had to worry about was being jealous of you and that asshole, Erik? I do.”
“You don’t have to be jealous of Erik. Zo will never be with any guy very long who’s a possessive turd. Don’t let those kind of guys stress you.”
“If I get her back, whole and in her body, I’m not gonna ever let any other guy stress me again,” Stark said.
“When,” he said solemnly. Stark’s brow furrowed. Heath sighed and explained. “When you get her back, not if. I’m not gonna leave her if you can’t be sure about what you’re doing.”
Stark nodded. “Okay, you’re right. When I get her back. I am sure I’m doing the right thing; we’re doing the right thing. It’s just that I know no matter what, it’s gonna end up hurting Zoey.”
“Yeah, I know.” Heath’s chin jerked in Zoey’s direction. “But nothing’s as bad as what’s happening to her right now.” Heath bowed his head for a moment and then slapped each of his shoulders, like he was banging against his football uniform’s shoulder pads. He shook himself, blew out a long breath, and then raised his head to meet Stark’s eyes one last time. “Make sure she knows I don’t want her to be all snot crying and freaked about me. Remind her for me that she’s seriously unattractive when she’s like that.”
“I will.”
“Oh, speaking of, you’d better get used to carrying around Kleenex in your pockets, ’cause I’m not even exaggerating. Zo’s snot cry is nasty.”
“Okay, yeah, I’ll do it.”
Heath held out his hand to Stark. “Take care of her for me.”
Stark grasped his forearm. “Warrior to Warrior, I give you my Oath on it.”
“Good, ’cause I’m gonna hold you to your Oath next time I see you.�
��
Heath dropped Stark’s arm, drew another deep breath, and stepped away from their concealment. He tried not to think about what was going to happen.
Instead, he looked at Zoey and saw beyond the shadowlike thing she was becoming, and thought about the girl he’d loved since he was a kid. He could see the uneven bangs she’d cut for herself in fourth grade. He smiled, thinking of her tomboy time in middle school, when her knees had stayed bruised and scabby for months and months. Then there was the summer before her freshman year when he’d gone on vacation with his family for a month and left her gangly and awkward, but had come back to discover she’d turned into a young goddess. His young goddess.
“Hey, Zo,” he said as he caught up and fell into step with her restless, circular pacing.
“Heath! I was just wondering where you were. I, uh, stopped here so you could catch up with me. I missed you.”
“You’re fast, Zo. I caught you soon as I could.” He looped her arm though his. Her skin felt scarily cold. “How ya doin’, babe?”
“I don’t know. I feel kinda weird. Dizzy but heavy, too. Do you know what’s wrong with me, Heath?”
“Yeah, babe, I do.” He stopped walking, but kept her arm linked with his, so that she was forced to stop, too. “Your soul’s shattered, Zo. We’re in the Otherworld, remember?”
Her big dark eyes met his, and for an instant, she almost seemed like her old self. “Yeah, I remember now, and I’m telling you, it’s a big bunch of bullpoopie!”
Tears made his vision of her swim, but he blinked hard and smiled. “Damn right it is, but I know how to fix things.”
“You do? That’s great, but, uh, can you fix things while I walk ’cause this standing still stuff is just not working for me.”
Instead of letting her go, Heath put his hands firmly on her shoulders and forced her to stay there and look into his eyes.
“You gotta pull the pieces of your soul together and then get to your body back there in the real world. You gotta do it for your friends—for Stark—for your grandma. Zo, you even gotta do it for me.”
