by Fiona Faris
“She is just me friend, Father,” Daividh reiterated his words.
Though he felt a pang of pain in his chest for lying repeatedly to his father, he believed it was the best option because his father would have inquired into her if he knew he fancied her. He and Lorraine were just beginning to know one another and he did not want to thrust upon her the responsibilities that came with being a MacDougall, not yet.
“I believe ye. Now, run along, I must see me generals,” the Laird MacDougall ordered his son.
Daividh walked away and he was almost headed for the stairs when he saw Elsa by her door, waving to him. He sighed in fatigue for he knew she had overheard his conversation with his father and wanted to speak to him also about the subject.
“Psst! Psst! Daividh,” she called to him.
With a heavy sigh, Daividh approached his stepmother. For all her questions, he knew he would be less anxious around her than with his father.
She held the door open to him and closed it the moment he was inside. She hurried to her bed and bid for him to come and sit next to her.
“I cannot stay long, Mother. I have been sent on errands by Father,” he lied.
“I ken ye lie. Ye have nay errands. Come sit by me side.” She patted the bed again.
Daividh sat, seeing that there was no other way to be rid of the conversation.
“So tell me about this girl the people speak of,” Elsa asked him.
“There is nothin’ to be told about her, Mother. She is just me friend and we went to Glenn’s feast together. There was nothin’ more to it,” he told her.
“Raisin’ yer voice does nae make yer words are truer. I ken they are lies,” Elsa interrupted him, “But I believe ye. She does nae look like a girl ye might wed. From what I heard, she is slender beyond compare. Many felt she might not last the week.”
Daividh’s brows furrowed as he heard his stepmother’s words.
“They say she lacks hips as a Scottish woman and has a face so ugly that men run from her when she walks their way.”
Daividh opened his mouth to speak but he realized that he would take his stepmother’s bait. He knew that Lorraine was none of those things that his stepmother had told him.
“I heard that ye could nae even look at her at the feast but it was mighty kind of ye to take her then. She would have been sent away had she not been the escort of a MacDougall,” Elsa continued.
Daividh shot up to his feet just as she had expected him to.
“Lorraine is none of those things. These things spoken about her are lies. She is nae slender. She is a beautiful woman, and anyone who speaks falsehood about her should be punished. I was with her because she is a-” Daividh roared in anger.
Elsa smiled only and Daividh realized that he had taken her bait.
“Ye do care about this girl,” Elsa told him.
Daividh shook his head but could not find his voice again.
“When would ye see her again?” Daividh was asked, but it was a question he could not answer for it was that very afternoon that he was going to see Lorraine at the loch.
“So ye ken, I had Kyla invite her to the Laird’s feast. Perhaps I can meet her then. I have nay more to say. Ye may go to attend to yer many errands,” Elsa said to him.
Embarrassed by himself, Daividh walked out of his stepmother’s room. Elsa would have listened to him if he had told her the truth but he feared that she would tell his father when night came.
Daividh made his way to his chambers as fast as he could walk, frowning at anyone who wished to speak to him. Once he was in the safe walls of his chamber, the smile returned to his face. He was going to see Lorraine’s beautiful face again that day. Though she knew of his visit, he meant to surprise her anyway.
Chapter Nineteen
Lorraine got to the loch on time, but even then, Daividh was already there.
“Ye are early,” she said.
“Aye, I thought it would take longer to get here.”
“Ye have traveled this path several times. Yet, ye miscalculated today?” she teased.
“Aye,” he said, without batting an eyelid.
Lorraine shook her head. The loch was as peaceful as it had been the last time before the shooting.
“Are we safe here?” she asked him.
“Aye, I had scouts search the area before we came here. There are men not too far as well. I would ne’er endanger ye.”
“I ken,” she said honestly.
It wasn’t hard to trust him. He looked like a man that stood by his words. She knew that not many men would willingly challenge a man of his build. Even better, she knew with every bit of her that he wouldn’t hurt her.
Lorraine spied the basket at the foot of his horse. “What’s in there?” she asked him.
“I thought we could have another meal. The last one we were to have together got ruined. There’s a soft picnic mat in there and there’s food and a blanket. We can eat whenever ye want.”
Lorraine couldn’t believe how thoughtful he was.
“For the life of me, I do nae understand why ye show only yer tough exterior. Ye are such a good person.”
“Nay,” he shook his head, “To ye? Aye. I can do aught else except care for ye and protect ye. I am nae this way with everyone else.”
Lorraine’s eyes widened. Had he just said she was special? She looked away, trying to hide the blush that was forming.
“Come on,” she said to him, “let’s walk around a little bit. I have missed yer company. I ken no other that has an ego as large as yers.”
Daividh laughed at the pureness of it and it made her smile. With the basket in his hands, the pair walked silently along with no destination in mind.
“Did Kyla return me regards to milaird?” Lorraine asked him.
“Aye,” he said to her, “Me da wants to see ye. Apparently, he rather loves the respect ye have for yer father.”
The compliment made her smile.
“Da would be pleased but I feel it is somewhat unfair.”
“Unfair?” He stopped walking and turned to face her.
“Aye,” she said, “Da was such a brilliant man. There was nay way that anyone who knew him well wouldnae respect him.”
“Ye love him a lot,” Daividh noted.
“Aye.” She nodded. “Everyone with a good father would love them, nay?”
Daividh nodded and continued to walk. Lorraine followed beside him.
“Ye have long legs,” she teased, “I cannae walk as fast.”
“I could carry ye?” he offered but slowed down.
Lorraine laughed lightly but said nothing to reveal that she was imagining him taking her into his arms and lifting her.
Lorraine, do nae lose yer focus!
“Are ye and yer da close?” she asked him. Most times, it was easy to forget that his da was the laird of the clan. Daividh felt like a man to her and not like the heir.
Ye would do well to remember who he is, Lorraine, she told herself.
“Aye, we are but nae as close as me ma and I used to be.”
Lorraine fell quiet. It was the first time that he was speaking about his mother by himself – willingly.
“What was she like?” she dared to ask.
“A lot like ye, to be honest,” he mused, “Ma didnae want to sit pretty and bake and cook like the other women. That didn’t mean she didn’t bake and cook – she did bake some of the best treats I had ever had.”
“What was yer favorite?”
“Apple pie,” he replied without thinking, “Apple pie. ’Tis years since I have had it. But when Ma lived, she would make it upon me request. Ma’s real love was helping others. She loved people. Ye would always find her with the people, talking, listening, giving...”
His voice took on a distant tone and she wondered what his thoughts were about.
“She is nay much like me then,” she mumbled.
“Have ye seen yerself with the young ones and animals?” he asked, “Ye are a different p
erson.”
“But that does nae count,” Lorraine said.
“Ye are not the decider of that.”
“Who is, then?” she asked.
“The people.”
“But yet, ye decide. Are ye the people?”
“Aye.” His signature lazy grin was present.
“Welcome to the life of a commoner, milord,” she teased.
Daividh smiled. “She was funny, too. Ma had the funniest stories she would tell me before she put me to bed. She would tickle me beneath me blanket as I slept.”
Lorraine’s heart warmed as he spoke.
“When she died, it felt like me light had been taken away. Da was a good man, but he loved her and couldnae help me much. He would come to me chambers and sit in me chair and just look at me. I was barely six then but I remember the hopelessness in his eyes – the confusion. He didnae ken what to do with me being so young.”
Lorraine imagined losing her father or mother at such an early age. She knew how terrible it would be.
“What I hated most was the pity. People said less to me and even though I was a child, my every moment reminded me that I lost me ma. They did nae let me escape it – nae even for a little bit.”
Lorraine said nothing but kept walking in silence.
“When I turned seven, me da married Elsa and they had Kyla. I remember bein’ so excited. I had always wanted a baby brother to play with. I figured it would make me miss Ma less. When Kyla was born, Elsa told me it was a girl and for a moment, I was confused. I looked into the tiny cradle as she slept, resignin’ meself to the fact that she would nae be able to play with me as boys played. I thought my seven year old self would feel anger but I didn’t. She looked so cute and innocent laying there and I looked beside me at Elsa’s beaming face. In that moment, I missed me ma so terribly that I felt me heart would break. But I did nae cry – boys did nae cry. Instead, I looked back to Kyla and promised her silently that nothin’ would e’er happen to her ma.”
Lorraine felt her heart squeeze with his words. She wondered how empathetic he had been to be able to push away his own pain at a time like that and think of his baby sister.
“Elsa must have thought I was disappointed because she took me in her arms and kissed me cheek. She would force me to spend time with her too. At first, it confused me. She was the baby’s mama – not mine. I had told her that too. I had been angry and I felt terribly alone that day but she had insisted on playin’ with me. She looked me calmly in the face and said, ‘But I love ye too. A ma can have more than one child.’”
Daividh looked at Lorraine and shook his head.
“I didnae believe her but I didnae fight her so much.”
“She is a good woman.”
“Aye,” he nodded, “She shielded me from da’s anger many a time. She did all she could to protect me but soon, there was little she could do. I had to begin trainin’ under me da to take over the lands. It would have been easier if me ma was alive. She was firm and would have been able to shield me more. It only took a firm look from me da to silence Elsa. Da seemed to think that he had to be extra hard on me.”
Lorraine felt the pain in his words. She imagined having no one to be able to talk to and suddenly, she felt more grateful for Maxwell’s presence in her life.
“But it worked out in the end, nay?”
Lorraine looked at him and said, “Ye ken that yer ma would be proud of how you’ve turned out.”
Daividh said nothing.
“Daividh?” she pushed.
“’Tis nae all that easy, Lorraine,” he said to her, “Me da was hard to please. I was always made to feel like I could do better. ’Tis a wrong thin’ to tell a child, ‘Ye never do yer best,’ especially when the child doesnae ken what more to do.”
“Yer da was harsh in raising ye but surely ye are a man now and see how well ye have grown.”
“Aye.” He nodded and looked her directly in her eyes. “But ‘tis nae easy to remove the fear of ne’er being good enough.”
Lorraine said nothing – she could say nothing. Daividh always looked so strong, so secure, and so put together. She had never imagined that he had doubts or fears. He was a warrior all the time but in that moment, he looked human, vulnerable.
Lorraine ached to take him in her arms, to soothe him, and reassure him.
Do it then, what’s the worst that could happen?
And so, in that moment, Lorraine gave into the gut feeling she felt so deeply and took him in her arms. He was so big and so hard but she did it. Her head was only to his chest and her arms couldn’t go around him fully but she kneaded her palms into his back as soothingly as she could.
For the longest time, they stayed like that and just when she was about to pull away, Daividh put his arms around her. She realized that he would have dropped the basket at that point, but it mattered little. All that mattered was him and her.
When Daividh let her go, there was a smile on his face.
“Well, I may feel that I am nae good enough sometimes, but I ken that I am better than everyone else,” he said in his usual, cocky way.
Lorraine grinned and rolled her eyes. He was back – the cocky and confident man she loved was back. She knew that the doubts were still hidden beneath but she knew that with time, she would help him see past them.
Then, she froze. Her thoughts played back to her and she went pale. ‘The cocky and confident man she loved.’ Loved? She loved?
Panic filled her system and it took all she had not to keel over. She was in love with Daividh. It was not the sort of thought that one doubted. It was a fact – a fact that she wondered how long she had known. She wanted to scream, cry, laugh, and cry some more.
How long had she known that she loved him, she pondered?
A while – the answer came swiftly. Her heart had known much longer and it was why it beat different every time he was near.
What would she do? How was she so stupid? What could she do? The questions flew about in her head. Nothing, she decided, she could do nothing and she would do nothing.
“Lorraine?” Daividh called. He had been looking at her face change and wondered where her thoughts had flown.
“Are ye alright?”
“Aye.” She nodded. She was better than alright. She was in love.
“Ye look pale,” he said, unconvinced, “Let’s head to our cave. ’Tis nae far from here.”
Lorraine nodded and wordlessly, they made their way to the cave that had shielded them the previous day.
It took only a little while to spread out their picnic mat and the fur blanket on top. They sat on the comfortable cushions but neither of them reached for the food.
“Tell me how ye and Glenn met.”
“’Tis a bit of a sad story,” he started, “Glenn’s ma died after bearing him, leaving him to his cruel father. He would run away from his home to the streets. One day, me ma found him and brought him home. I was four, I think.”
“That is sad.”
“Aye,” he nodded, “It is. But we had each other’s backs. He couldn’t be there so much when me ma died because his father took him back, but after some time, Elsa stepped in and we continued to see each other again. We trust each other. ’Tis why I was able to tell him-” Daividh broke off.
“Tell him what?” Lorraine asked and cocked her head.
Daividh seemed to be considering his next words carefully.
“Daividh? Ye do trust me, aye? Speak to me.”
Daividh sighed. “Maxwell ne’er spoke to ye about what he does for me, did he?
“Nay.” She shook her head. “What do ye speak of?”
“Strange things have been happening, Lorraine. I have clear evidence, multiple bit of evidence, in fact, that someone is after me life.”
Chapter Twenty
Lorraine’s eyes widened. “Whatever do ye mean?” she asked. The shock was clear in her voice but there was no fear as he would have expected from a woman. This gave him the courage to speak on.
>
“It started weeks ago, over a month or two,” he began.
“I had been out of my chambers. My servants and I had several tasks to accomplish that day and I was with Dirk, a man I had ken for years. He had worked faithfully under me. Dirk walked ahead of me that morning. He took a step that I was supposed to have taken and the staircase gave way beneath him. He fell and died. It occurred to me that he had stepped on a tampered wooden stair step that I would have stepped on. At that time, I didn’t think much of it but few days later, someone cut the string of me bow. I was huntin’ a wild boar and the string broke when I tried to kill it. The vexed boar came at me. If I hadnae held me knife, it would have killed me.”
