She pushed her hair back, everything in her warming. "You shouldn't say things like that."
"Why?"
"It's not important, and it doesn't matter." Her cheeks were probably turning red already. Why did her blood have to betray her like this? Kepsalon had said Neyeb, Bealorns, and Machat were similar in that they had so many more blood vessels in their faces. Such a wonderful thing to not be able to hide emotions. It felt like it was getting worse too. "Are you here because you want to talk about last night?"
He read her far too well now. And he seemed to like what he was reading. "I wanted to talk to you about what remains of the eight weeks."
She cut more of the reeds and set them on the square of cloth. This wasn't a surprise.
"First, you should know that you were right."
The knife slipped, the blade nearly slicing her hand. "What did you just say?"
"You wouldn't have died initially, but you would have been crushed and trapped. The mind shade was trying to seal you in your own mind where it would have devoured the rest of your consciousness while you were comatose. You might have functioned for a few days before disappearing into your mind. And it would not necessarily have been your end, but… most people don't come back from that."
"I thought—I thought I was going to wind up as your puppet."
"If the mind shade had been less vicious and I less intense, probably yes. For a time. The damage it did was extensive. As I said, I am not fully certain how you are standing or conscious."
"That column with the ivy and the broken stalactites." No wonder it had bothered her. She pushed her elmis against her torso, being cautious with the knife as she tried to block the swell of her own feelings. "Is it sex specifically that would have done that or was it—" She broke off, not sure what to say or ask.
"You weren't ready for me. Or most of what happened. What little barriers you had constructed weren't prepared in such a way to allow you to make accommodations, and the fear made it worse. Much worse. It's why you slammed your consciousness into WroOth's during the mindreading. It was instinctual, and it was a warning sign I should have heeded instead of pushing for closeness. But your mind was trying to create accommodations for me. Ever since that day in Polfradon actually. It just takes time."
"Will the damage from the mind shade heal?"
"With time. In theory. That and a few other things. But the mind shade is gone now so no additional damage will be done."
Something prickled inside her mind. A faint recollection. Something she needed to remember. It faded as swiftly as it had come. "No more danger."
"Hopefully."
She resumed cutting the reeds. "And you want me to come vestov with you." It was to be expected. And it wasn't that she wasn't attracted to him. To say he was well-formed was an understatement. But part of her still—
"No. As much as I would love to lay you down and explore every inch of you, you're not ready for me yet."
The knife nearly slipped again. She was going to slice her hand off at this rate. Hands shaking, she folded the blade in and slipped it in her pocket. Had she really just heard him?
"You will tell me when you are ready for me. Even if it goes beyond the eight weeks. Then I have my way with you."
"What about your shifting?"
"I can't touch you if I need to shift soon after. It's too difficult for me to focus. Even after we vestov, it will take me time to rebuild my endurance. It's why I had to let WroOth support you when the mind shade attacked. While we are journeying, I will need to avoid you. More or less."
"Are you in pain?"
"It's not comfortable, but that is not your concern. Besides, it does give me the opportunity to figure out how to manage this particular need in such a way that does not give you untold power over me."
She smiled a little, her breaths easing. "Thank you."
"Don't thank me. I'm not going to allow you to manipulate me, little onion fish. Besides, I have a bargain to offer you."
"I'm actually really curious about what this might be." She folded her arms. The way that smile reached his eyes now made her heart skip. Then his smile became a little more crooked, and her heart sped faster as her stomach flipflopped.
"Obviously, I will need to avoid you while we journey and during some camp tasks. But after that has been handled, I will find some way to woo and seduce you. At any point, if you tell me to stop, then I will stop. But regardless you must tell me honestly whether you liked what I was doing."
Heat flared like scarlet rings through her as she considered what he might do.
He circled around behind her. "For instance, from the river, I learned that this spot—" He grazed his chin over that dip in her neck. "This is one that is very sensitive."
She shuddered, her skin tingling in response.
"And the change in your demeanor tells me some things. That this is a place I should pay particular attention to. And maybe here." He grazed the back of her neck with his teeth, just along the hairline. When she stiffened, he chuckled, low in his throat. "Perhaps not a maybe there." He kissed her lightly once more. "I want to know what you like. What you really like. And what you really, really like."
"Isn't this like playing with fire?" She couldn't even look at him.
"Maybe." That low whisper pressed deep within her. "If it's too much, you just have to say so. You can even tell me you want me to not seduce you for a day, and I will honor that as well. Though if it is to be the whole day, I would ask that you answer two questions for me with complete honesty."
She wrapped her arms tight around herself. Space between them.
Cold air, please!
That's what she needed.
Cold space.
Just space.
Crespa! Her elmis itched ferociously.
He watched her, his eyes sharp and bright but his posture otherwise relaxed. "Will you agree to this?"
Getting through the remaining weeks would be much more challenging. Saying no was safer. Saying no was probably better. Saying no was—"All right."
That slow smile curled over his lips. "Good."
She could scarcely breathe beside him. "And then when I am ready?"
"Whenever that is, you tell me."
"After the eight weeks?" For the first time, she found herself wondering if she really wanted to wait that long.
"Now that the mind shade is gone, it might not be so important. It's up to you. Although, knowing you, you'll take the full time. The good thing is that the more aroused you are, the more your own body and mind will try to bring us together. That will help as you build your boundaries and barriers. And it wouldn't be terrible for you to learn what feels good and what you like. I'd give yourself at least a week or so to continue healing before considering full vestoving. Regardless, until you are ready, I will focus on convincing you that you will enjoy being with me and that it is safe for you to enjoy being with me. I will prove to you that you can trust me."
She found herself smiling. "It feels like everything is falling away. Before you know it, we'll have even resolved what we can with the Tue-Rah."
"Based on what has happened, I doubt that a simple promise would work for you regarding the Tue-Rah and its conquest."
She drew back, her brow furrowing. "You're willing to give it up?"
He shrugged. "Perhaps. But we already went down that path, and it did not go so well. I would rather prove to you through what I do rather than give a promise you will fear I will break."
"I'm not even sure if I know who you are anymore," she said. "Are you feeling all right?"
Taking hold of a branch just over her head, he leaned forward. "Yes." He kissed her cheek, then drew his lips to her mouth where his tongue teased her lower lip.
Pushing up, she parted hers and caught him.
He stiffened, then swept his tongue deeper.
Tension radiated through him. He was weighing this moment. Her response. She could practically feel the twisting of his thoughts and desire
s.
But he didn't grab her or crush her. He tasted and stroked, nuzzled and nipped, his hand white-knuckled on the branch.
She could disappear into this. Keep this moment. Sliding her hand across the muscular planes of his chest, she deepened the kiss herself and then broke it. "I like you a lot better out here." Already she was panting.
His heartbeat was a raging thunderstorm beneath her palm. But he remained perfectly still, his gaze fixed on her and his breathing rough. "You see," he said. "You can trust me."
Hunger, lust, desire. It all shone in his eyes, twitched in his jaw, throbbed in his blood. But he just stood there. "I won't hurt you, veskaro."
She smiled at him and stepped away, her hands clasped behind her back. "I guess we'll see." After putting a little more distance between them, she turned. "But the good thing about me is that even if I get hurt, I always get up again."
43
Finding a Place
Amelia picked up her pace as soon as she was out of Naatos's sight. She was already about to melt inside, and that heat carried obvious proof through her face and neck. The itching in her elmis had reached a ridiculous level.
"Did you find the reeds you needed?" QueQoa stood by the fire, turning the roasting meat with the large fork.
"Yup. It was good." She realized then she had left them down at the riverbank.
His eyebrows raised as he regarded her curiously. "Where are they?"
"Um…" No, no. She had left them down by the suphrite stream. "They're drying—"
"They can dry up here." Naatos walked alongside her, the cloth-wrapped reeds in hand.
She jumped.
Naatos regarded her with an almost neutral expression as he passed her the reeds. Only the gleam in his eyes betrayed just how much he was loving this. "Are you flustered, veskaro?"
"No."
"Is there a reason you aren't looking at me when you say it?"
"Do I have to look at you when I'm talking to you?" She raised her own eyebrow but avoided making eye contact. "I think you know when I'm talking to you."
He chuckled.
That low sound made her chest tighten and her breath quicken. So she lifted her gaze to his and set her hand on her waist. "Are you happy?"
A slow grin spread over his face. "Are you flustered?"
The heat flared through her again, burning like a beacon. She refused to break eye contact. "No." Then, with all the deliberation she could manage, she hugged the reeds to her chest and turned away. "You can go now."
"Can I? I have your permission?"
She kept her chin up and set the reeds in one of the vessels. "Yes." Pausing, she glanced up into the branches above. "WroOth, if you drop on me again, I will rip your face off. That'll be the sixth time today!"
"So surly." WroOth clicked his tongue at her and leaned back. "But at least you're learning."
"WroOth, don't drop on my wife. She's supposed to be resting." Naatos folded his arms. "And you have better things to do with your time."
"Not especially." WroOth retreated higher into the tree, disappearing into the green and brown.
Amelia finished arranging the reeds in the stone vessel, her calm slowly returning despite that itching in her elmis and an ache forming deep in her core. It was hard to keep her breath at a steady pace when she just wanted to gulp the air in.
"So you're just staying up there?" Naatos stared into the branches just above Amelia. "You're going to—"
WroOth dropped out of the branches onto Naatos, tackling him to the ground. "I'm still angry with you." He rested his cheek on his fist.
"Shocking. Get off." Naatos pushed up.
"Remember when we were small and this was easy for you?"
"I remember throwing you off a cliff." Naatos staggered to his feet.
"One of many terrifying experiences." WroOth offered no help until gravity turned against him. "Given where we are in the day though, we should take this time to train Amelia. And by we, I mean QueQoa and me. You need to go stand under the waterfall for a while."
Naatos shoved him away and then straightened his clothes. "You could help AaQar finish things."
"That sounds like a much better task for you." WroOth grinned at him.
"You're not helping as much as you think," Naatos said, his voice low. "Everything is going fine."
"Good. AaQar does need help though. If that sledge is going to glide over the grasses, it needs to be oiled at least three or four more times." WroOth patted him on the chest. "You can kuvaste me when you can shift again."
"Careful, or I'll throw you off the next cliff we find," Naatos said dryly.
"More fun for me. Although we do need to have a discussion about cliffs and falling and the heights in the near future." WroOth resumed pacing slowly around the circle.
Naatos scoffed, but he did not disagree. Crossing over to Amelia, he kissed her cheek. "Stay out of trouble, veskaro." He lowered his voice yet again. "We'll speak soon."
She nodded, avoiding looking at him until he nipped at her ear. Releasing a tight breath, she shook her head. "That is not playing fair at all," she hissed.
"We've never played fair with each other, veskaro." As he reached the edge of the clearing, he pointed at WroOth. "You make sure she doesn't get hurt. And stop dropping on her."
"I'm very careful," WroOth called after him. He nudged Amelia once Naatos disappeared. "I'm still angry at you as well."
"No. You're worried." She dug her elmis against her torso, trying to ignore the one on the small of her back which now felt like it had caught on fire. "You're worried, and you don't know how to express that."
"Hmmm. No mindreading." He flicked her ear.
"That's not mindreading. That's knowing people." She narrowly avoided the light strike. "I'm going to be just fine, WroOth."
"Do you want to train?"
"I thought I was supposed to be resting. You dropped on me when I tried to clean out that pot. And when I tried to make a broom."
"I hate sweeping and washing dishes. The day is almost over. We won't strain you too much. And we need to figure out where you fit. No mindreading though." He swatted her nose lightly. But that worried tension hadn't faded. "You are fast, little sister. You're like a rabbit. A rabbit from your world though, not this one. Which means once you're caught, you're caught and basically dead."
"My whole fighting philosophy has revolved around not getting caught," Amelia said. "I can't make my skin harder or create any other defenses. I haven't found any flowers or herbs I can grind up to make a pepper mix."
"I know." WroOth blew out a long breath. "And you definitely aren't going to be happy to stay close and let us protect you, are you?"
"I'm not planning on doing anything stupid or running off on my own, but you know that there's no guarantee I'll always be able to stick near you and the rest. Predators specifically try to drive the smallest and weakest off and away from the rest of the pack."
"If you stay close to the bavril, nothing will get to you easily," QueQoa said. "Especially if we're there to fight them off. Hey." He swatted WroOth's elbow. "It'll be all right. Come on." He pointed at Amelia. "We'll work on your falling. If we have to fly, you'll be riding, and you're going to fall at some point."
"So what's the solution?" Amelia asked. Flying with WroOth that one time had been near traumatizing. Granted, she hadn't expected him to take off, and she'd barely held on. He hadn't been trying to kill her at the time, but as intense as it was, it was likely only a taste of how bad it would be if some of those creatures came after them.
QueQoa dusted his hands off. "WroOth, watch the skies. Amelia, hold still."
"Hold still? What do you—"
Before she could finish, QueQoa had put his hands on her waist and flung her straight up into the air.
She shrieked. The air rushed up around her as she soared up past the tops of the trees. The wilderness stretched all around her. Then, just as quickly, she was plunging down again.
Jumping up, Q
ueQoa snagged her around the waist and swung her around like a baton. Screaming, she grabbed hold of his neck, her fingernails digging into his skin. "What are you doing?"
QueQoa put her on the ground. "Not terrible." He pried her fingers off as he looked back at WroOth. "She catches fairly nicely. We can work with this."
"What was that?" she demanded, pushing his hands off her.
"Next time, keep your body straight. You flailed a lot. Wasted energy and puts you at more risk for harm. Cross your arms like this or have a purpose." He moved her arms into position. "Attacking or catching something is really the only reason you need to not have your arms like this. Unless you want to show off and strike a pose. We'll work on all that later."
She stepped back as he reached for her again. "Hold up, hold up! What are you doing? I'm fine with learning. Learning is great. But what's the point of this? I don't think you have a real plan. You're just messing with me."
"That's more or less what training is," WroOth said. But he was smiling once more.
She held her hand up. "I'm serious. I want to learn. I need to learn, but I am not onboard for you throwing me like a giant football."
"I do not know what football is. Keep your body straight this time." QueQoa grabbed her by the waist and flung her up. He laughed. "This will work!"
She screamed again. This was almost as horrible the second time around. Her heart and stomach felt as if she had left them up in the canopy. As soon as QueQoa was in reach, she seized him. "Stop it!" With that, she thrust herself away. What was that supposed to be?
"It's part of training. We do this all the time. Or did."
Her heart thundered like a beast possessed as she pressed her hand to her chest. "So you take turns throwing each other?"
"If by us, you mean mostly me, then yes," WroOth said. He pointed to QueQoa. "Mostly because of that one. And then Naatos more often than not."
"And who threw you?" Amelia demanded, turning on QueQoa.
"Naatos a few times. But I grew very quickly." QueQoa took a bite of roasted besred and grinned at her. "And he just threw me off a cliff."
"He threw you off a cliff?"
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