Forever Only Once

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Forever Only Once Page 5

by Carrie Ann Ryan


  She was not only happy, she was also married to a former world-famous model turned bestselling author. It had hurt me just a little to watch her walk down the aisle with our dad, watch him give her away. I had been happy as hell to see her marry Liam and become part of his family, but part of me had wanted to steal her and run away to make sure she was safe.

  She was still my baby sister, and always would be. But now, if she got hurt, she went to Liam. She didn’t come to me or our brothers or our parents anymore. It was weird how everything had changed, yet some things remained the same. I had no idea how I had gotten so melancholic recently.

  I kissed the top of her head and squeezed her slightly, then laughed as Jasper stuck his nose between us, wanting pets. I moved away from Arden and went down to my knees, running my hands over the white Siberian Husky. Jasper lapped at my nose, and I laughed. “I do love you, boy.”

  “He has been in a very playful mood. I do believe he’s excited because he doesn’t have to take a B-A-T-H.”

  My brows rose. “Why exactly doesn’t he have to take...that?” I asked, knowing that Jasper was notorious for hating baths, and Arden hated giving them.

  “He had one before Liam left, and it was a couple of days early. I feel like he knows when it’s his usual time. He gets all stressed.”

  I shook my head. “Considering that you have to spell the word, he probably does. This dog’s smarter than most members of our family.”

  Arden rolled her eyes. “You’re talking about the brothers, aren’t you? Because I’m pretty sure that Prior and Macon could totally kick your ass.”

  “Not Nate?” I asked.

  “Nate is my twin, and while I love him, he would probably trip on his way to hurting you.”

  “You may be right in that. But, still, that’s kind of cruel.”

  “I’m only telling you what I told him to his face yesterday.” She grinned.

  I laughed, then reached out to hug my sister again before following her into the kitchen. “Speaking of, when are they heading over here for dinner?”

  “How did you know I invited all of them here for dinner?”

  “I didn’t know for sure, but I did mention that I was coming over here to help you with a few things because Liam was out of town. So, I figured they would invite themselves over.”

  “You’re right. In fact, Macon already dropped off a few groceries for us. That way, I don’t have to go out and get extra potatoes.”

  I scowled. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have gotten you groceries.”

  “I’m a big girl, and there is such a thing as grocery delivery these days.” She put her hands on her hips and glared at me. “I have lupus, Cross. I’m not dying. Get that out of your head.”

  I visibly flinched at the use of the word dying and swallowed hard. “I’ll always worry. I can’t help it. I’m going to be the overprotective asshole forever, and you’ll just have to deal with it.”

  “And you will just have to deal with the fact that I can do some things on my own. I can go grocery shopping. I can bring in baked goods for the retirement home. I can take Jasper out on W-A-L-Ks. I can do all of that. I’m healthy. I take care of myself. And we both know that Liam doesn’t let me do anything too strenuous.” She winked. “Some things can be a little strenuous.”

  “I swear to God if you elaborate on that, I am walking right out this door.” I squeezed my eyes shut.

  “No, you’re not.”

  I opened my lids. Saw her eyes dancing with laughter. “You really have to stop doing that. You know it freaks all of us out.”

  “Perhaps, but I enjoy it. Anyway, the guys will be over soon, and I think that’s all I needed help with. Thank you again for coming. That box was just a little too heavy since the UPS man put it at the foot of the porch stairs.”

  “Your normal guy is Mike, right? He doesn’t do that.”

  “Mike is on vacation,” she said and sighed. “The fact that I know the name of my UPS driver and that I know that he’s on vacation tells me I probably order too many things.”

  “No, it just means you’re friendly.” I paused. “And you probably order too many things.”

  “Anyway, enough about me and all of my needs. How about you? Anything interesting happen in the few days since we’ve chatted?”

  “Not really,” I said, going to the fridge for a glass of water. I used the pitcher to pour both of us glasses and then handed her one.

  “Keeping me hydrated?” she asked, a single brow raised.

  “Taking care of you. Can’t really help it. Plus, you know that Liam texted me earlier to make sure you’re keeping up with your water intake. You know you were dehydrated a few days ago.”

  “I swear, it’s like I got married, and Liam connected with you guys to the point that even his brothers are starting to worry about me. Everything’s multiplied.”

  “We can’t help it. We worry about you.”

  “Enough of that. Tell me. How’s work? How’s Chris?” she asked the last part with a wince, and I sighed.

  “I think I hate my partner,” I said honestly.

  “I’ve never really liked him. He was always a jerk. And he kept hitting on me.”

  I set the glass down and leaned forward. “Excuse me? When the fuck did he hit on you? You said this before, sort of, and I missed what you said. But why the tone now?”

  She gave me a look. “Excuse me. He’s always done it. Haven’t you noticed that he gets too close when we speak? Or that he slowly encroaches on any woman’s presence. It’s creepy.”

  My stomach fell, and I wanted to punch something. “How the fuck did I miss that?”

  “Probably because, at first, he did it when you weren’t watching. And then you were so busy cleaning up after him that I don’t think you were able to watch. You haven’t had any complaints about it from any of your female clients?”

  I closed my eyes and counted to ten. “No. What the fuck? We could get sued.”

  “You might. Or maybe he isn’t as creepy with other women as he is with me.”

  “I could seriously kick his ass for this.”

  “No, that’s Liam’s job.” She paused. “Or my job. But I’m not in the mood to kick anyone’s ass. I’ll just send over one of the Montgomerys. Or my other brothers.”

  “You won’t let me do it?” I asked.

  “No, because you still have to work with him until you dissolve the partnership. Speaking of, is that really what you’re going to do?”

  “Fuck. I have to end it. I cannot work with him anymore.”

  “What else does he do, other than what I could be overreaching with?”

  “You’re not overreacting. If you feel uncomfortable with him at all—something you probably should have told me about before so I didn’t put you in that situation, or maybe something I should have just noticed—then that’s a big thing. As for what I’m going to do with Chris? I don’t know. I don’t know if he’s going to make it easy for me to dissolve the business. Right now, I’m the one making the bigger deals.”

  “I thought he wanted to make more money with those weird deals of his?”

  “True, he does, but he isn’t in the studio as much lately. Maybe he’s working at his home studio like I sometimes do, but I’m in the main place far more than he is. His pieces make good money when he sells them, but he’s been focused on different kinds of commissions recently. Not what we started with.”

  “And you’re sure he can’t take any money from the business for himself?” she asked.

  I nodded. “Yes. I work with our accountant monthly to go through our expenses. I know what goes into the business and what comes out. He literally can’t take any of the money I make on commissions. It goes back into the building—any percentage that comes off our base price, that is. As long as he didn’t fuck up any of the paperwork before he sent it in.” That was something I would have to look into. Hell.

  “That’s good. At least you had the foresight to put that into your
contracts.”

  “I shouldn’t have worked with him at all. I fucked everything up.”

  “No, Chris is doing that. I just hope you can get out of it soon.”

  “I hope I can, too. I need to figure out exactly how to approach that. Because at first, I thought maybe I could find a way to work with him, only in just a different aspect. You know? Make it easier. But I don’t think I can. Especially given that I want to kick his ass for daring to touch you.”

  “He’s never actually touched me, but he does encroach on my space and is sometimes inappropriate in what he says. I’m sorry for bringing that up.”

  I shook my head and drank some more water. “Don’t be sorry. I’m pissed that I didn’t see it before. And leaving Chris has been in the back of my mind for a while now.”

  “Let’s talk about something else. Something happier. Have you been on a date recently? I know it’s been a while.”

  I froze, blinking. How the hell had she known? I hated that she could read my fucking face even beneath the beard.

  “Oh my God. You have. Tell me about it.”

  “How can I help you start dinner?” I asked, changing the subject. Not that she would let me.

  “No, no. You went on a date? With who? Tell me. How did I not know this? I mean, I knew it had been a while, though none of the others really made fun of you about it. But tell me. Tell me more.”

  “It wasn’t really a date.” I frowned. “It didn’t start out as a date, but I think it ended as one.”

  “You’re going to have to explain that because I’m a little confused.”

  “I met someone. Thanks to Chris, actually.”

  Her brows shot up again. “Really? Chris? Am I not going to like this woman?”

  “She doesn’t actually know him.”

  “I’m confused again.” I laughed and leaned against the counter. “So, Chris decided to force me to meet with a potential client down at 59th.”

  “That’s where he meets his clients? What is he, a gigolo?”

  I laughed. “I don’t think there are actual gigolos or paid escorts there.” I paused. “Not that I know of anyway.”

  “Wait, are you dating an escort?”

  I held up my hands. “Let me finish.”

  “Then start talking. Because all I know right now is that I’m thinking of Chris as a gigolo, and it’s making me want to vomit.”

  I groaned. “Thank you for that mental image,” I said. “Anyway, I had to meet up with one of Chris’s clients because my partner is a piece of shit, and then it turned out that she didn’t even come.”

  “Really?”

  “Either she canceled, or he did. I don’t know. It wasn’t my client, I had nothing to do with it. Anyway, I saw a single woman at a table and sat down, thinking it was Chris’s contact.”

  Arden put both hands over her face. “You did not.” She groaned.

  “Yep, I did. Because I’m an idiot. However, it turned out well.”

  “Really?” she asked.

  “At first she thought I was her blind date.”

  “Oh my God, that’s like the perfect meet-cute.” Her eyes widened. “Wait, did her date show up?”

  “No. So, it was just me.”

  “What an asshole. He stood her up? Who backs out on a blind date?”

  I shook my head quickly. “Apparently, his daughter was sick.”

  “Now I feel like an asshole.”

  “Maybe you should let me continue the story.”

  “Fine.”

  “Anyway, once we realized that we had both made a mistake, we just went with it. She was nice, we talked, got along, and I got her number for maybe another date.”

  “Seriously, that’s such a meet-cute. What’s her name?”

  “Stop calling it a meet-cute. And her name is Hazel.”

  “Cross and Hazel. That’s so sweet.”

  “If you start singing about sitting in a tree, I will have to force you to give Jasper a B-A-T-H.”

  “That’s cruel. For both of us.” She put her hand over her dog’s head and petted him quickly. “We don’t want to scar him for life.”

  I gave her a look. “Anyway, it was a weird situation that turned out kind of nice.” I shrugged. “I don’t know if I’m ever going to see her again. She has my number if she ever wants to call.”

  “You can’t just leave her hanging, Cross. She’s probably waiting on you.”

  “It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours yet. I’ll text her. Maybe. I don’t know.”

  “Don’t be an asshole.”

  “I’m not trying to be an asshole. It’s more that I don’t know if I want to date. I have enough issues with work. Adding a relationship on top of that probably isn’t the best thing.”

  “Chris is already hurting your creativity. He’s hurting your work. Don’t let him hurt your personal life, too.”

  “I don’t know. Plus, she may have another date by the time I figure out what I want.”

  “What do you mean? With that same guy?”

  “I don’t know about that. But she has this whole blind date thing going on with her friends.”

  I explained the pact that Hazel made, feeling kind of bad that I was telling the story, but it was Arden. She wouldn’t tell a soul. Plus, I needed to talk this out. I really didn’t have anyone else to do that with. I could talk with Prior or Macon or Nate, but they had their own issues. Arden was the only one of us who was truly settled. She was our touchstone.

  She’d always been that, even when her life had been chaotic.

  “That’s genius. I kind of envy that she has those kinds of friends.”

  I reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear. “You always have us. And you have a set of girlfriends now.” Arden had lost some of her friends over time because of her disease, people who couldn’t understand that sometimes she simply couldn’t leave the house. That, at times, her illness was the number one priority in her life, even if she didn’t want it to be.

  She had a new group of friends though thanks to her husband, and that was a good thing for her. And for me. I didn’t like my sister feeling alone.

  However, it just made me think that I really only had my brothers, and now Liam and his family. Chris had been my only real friend outside of the family. I hadn’t needed much else before.

  Now, it seemed as if I was going to lose him, too.

  “Anyway, you know she has three friends, and you have three brothers. We could make it work.” She clapped her hands, and I held up mine. “No, not even a little. We’re not hooking up our brothers with those women.”

  “Do you even know them?”

  “No, and neither do you. Let’s not tempt fate and make anything more complicated than it already is.”

  “Because you want to call and see her again? And having your brothers date those women would make things a little awkward?”

  “You sure do like to reach, don’t you?” I asked, laughing.

  “It’s what I do. And, really? You’re smiling when you talk about her. You don’t smile much these days. I think you should call her.”

  I frowned. “I don’t know. I don’t want to complicate her life.”

  “A relationship is all about working through complications, about finding layers. And, even though I’m your sister and this is gross, it doesn’t have to be serious. You could use a little companionship.”

  I winced. “Let’s not talk about that.”

  “What? You’re a nice, healthy male. You’re getting up there in age. Maybe it’s time for you to find someone.”

  “Don’t call me old. You may be my little sister, but I can still beat you.”

  “You could try. But I’m pretty sure the Montgomerys could take you.”

  “You’re using your husband’s family as a shield?”

  “Every day that I need to. Plus, I use you guys as a shield against them. Jokingly, of course. No one would dare hurt me.”

  “You bet your ass, they wouldn’t. And, anyway
, I have no idea what the hell I’m going to do about Hazel. But I liked the night we had, and I did ask for her number.”

  “You’re the one who asked? Don’t be an asshole. Call her. Text her. Do something.”

  “I know, I know. I just left the bubble of whatever we had, and I felt the weight of what was going on with Chris. It screwed up my perceptions.”

  “Don’t let that happen. Be better than that. You smiled. I like you smiling. Call her. Go on another date. One that you actually plan this time. And remember, you already have the perfect meet-cute.”

  “Stop calling it that,” I said and then looked down at my phone. I wondered what I should do.

  I’d loved every single moment of sitting at that table with Hazel. And I wanted to know more about her.

  Even if I wasn’t sure that either of us was ready for what that could mean.

  Chapter 5

  Hazel

  * * *

  “But I can’t find X.”

  I shook my head at my student’s words, but let a smile cross my face. This wasn’t our first set of office hours, and we had a system going by now.

  “You will. Let’s do it together. All we need to do is find the pattern. That’s what this part of math is. Honestly, any math. It’s finding a pattern. And if you can remember the rules, sometimes, the pattern helps you find the solution a little faster. Other times, you have to work to see it.”

  “But I’m not good at patterns. I was never good at matching things or anything like that in school before.”

  I looked at Dustin, my freshman student, and wondered how many professors and teachers had told him that he wasn’t good at math. That math was for some people, and he just wasn’t it.

  While I genuinely believed that not everybody needed to understand high-functioning math, I had to be honest. While it wasn’t required for every single person, I also knew that I had to give every individual a chance. It was fine if they didn’t understand every nuance on the first try. That’s why we practiced. That was why my exams weren’t the only things that weighted the grade.

 

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