by Lane Hart
“I understand how difficult it must be,” she says. “It’s not easy to open yourself up to loving another human being and then losing them despite your best intentions.”
“Cooper wants what’s best for Ruby. Eventually he’ll realize that she’s in a loving home with parents who will care for her.”
“Yes, well, it was a pleasure meeting you,” Janet says as she holds out her hand for me to shake. “I hope we’ll see you back here in the future.”
“Thank you,” I tell her as I show myself out of the room and go search for Cooper.
I find him resting his back against the side of my car, his arms crossed over his chest. His sadness and pain will most likely be processed as anger. I brace myself for at least some of the aftermath to land on me.
He stays silent in the car on the ride back to his house.
“Janet’s right,” I say over the radio. “There are other parentless children like Ruby…”
“I can’t, Liz,” he says. “I’m not cut out to be a father, especially not to someone else’s kid.”
“That’s not true,” I tell him. “You were amazing with Ruby.”
“It’s done and over,” he snaps. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“Fine,” I say on a sigh.
I haven’t recovered yet when Cooper goes on to say, “You don’t need to stay with me any longer. Cedric can help you move back to your place if you need him to.”
“What?” I scoff as I sneak a look at him in the passenger seat before focusing on the road again. “You’re seriously kicking me out of your house today?”
“There’s no reason for you to keep staying there,” he grumbles. “No reason to stay married to me either. We can probably get an annulment, right?”
“Cooper, I know you’re upset about the Fullers’ decision, but I think you need to just slow down and take some time to think all of this through. Do you really want to pretend like we were never married? That we weren’t happy together?”
“Were we happy?” he asks. “Because all I remember is arguing and fucking. We can do both of those things without being married.”
My next scoff is more of a choked cough as my throat closes up and my eyes begin to burn, the road blurring in front of me. “I think I prefer you sulking in silence to talking right now. You’re saying things that I hope you’ll regret later. If not, then you’re just being a dick.”
“You never wanted to marry me in the first place!” he says. “You didn’t even want to be seen with me at a restaurant! Take the out and leave me, Liz. You deserve better.”
“You’re right,” I agree on a sob. “I don’t deserve to take the brunt of your pain just because I happen to be the closest person to you after you got shitty news! I’m disappointed too, Cooper! I love Ruby just as much as you do! I’m going to miss her too.”
“Bullshit,” he grits out through clenched teeth. “If you cared about her, then you would’ve fought harder to keep her.”
Fought harder? What more did he expect me to do? Kidnap her and flee the state with him?
“That’s it!” I shout at him as I jerk the car over onto the shoulder and slam on the brakes. “Get out!”
“What?” he asks, his face turning toward me. I can’t even look at him right now, so I keep staring straight ahead.
“Get out of my car. Take your anger somewhere else because I don’t deserve it!”
He doesn’t move for several long silent moments, but then the car door opens, and slams shut again as he walks away.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Cooper
“I appreciate you staying with Ruby, but you can go now,” I tell Cynthia, Reece’s girlfriend, as soon as I walk through the door.
“Oh, okay,” she says as she stands with the baby in her arms. “Is everything all right?”
“No,” I respond. “But I’m not in the mood to talk about it.”
“Sorry,” she says when she comes over and transfers Ruby to my arms. “She’s a sweet one.”
“Yeah, she is,” I agree.
I’m still standing there and looking at her when the door shuts with Cynthia’s departure.
“I hate it,” I tell Ruby. “I hate it, but you’re going to live with another family. Your own family, actually. If his wife is a bitch to you, I will raise hell, I promise.”
Her tiny fingers reach up and grab at my tie, missing a few times before she gets a chunk in her fists and gives it a tug.
“I know. I wanted you to stay with me and Liz too. But it didn’t work out that way. Don’t be mad at me, though, because it sure as hell wasn’t my decision,” I tell her. “You know what? I bet your new daddy won’t cuss. He looks like the type that says darn instead of damn, so that’s probably a good thing. I would only teach you all the bad words.”
I walk around holding Ruby for a while before sitting down with her in my arms when she falls asleep. I hold her every second I can until there’s a knock at the door.
“Well, shit. I guess this is it,” I mutter as my eyes start to burn. God, I’m a pussy for crying over losing a kid that’s not even mine. No more late-night bottle feedings. I was good at them, too. Ever since the bombing, I’ve forgotten what it’s like to sleep eight hours straight. And I would make a deal with the devil to never sleep again if I could just keep Ruby with me.
Another pounding knock sounds at the door. Since I don’t want the sheriff to show up with a court order demanding that I give Ruby up, I finally get to my feet with her and take her to the door.
When I open up, there’s the dickhead who knocked up Jenna…and his wife, dressed in a polka dot dress, brown hair perfect coifed, looking like a housewife from the sixties. Great.
The three of us stare at each other wordlessly. Mostly they’re staring at Ruby. Finally, the missus speaks.
“She’s beautiful,” she says.
“No shit,” I grumble. “Did you expect her to look like a troll?”
The couple are a little taken aback by my remark, but don’t comment.
“I know this isn’t easy on you, and I apologize for how it all happened,” Theodore says. “Nancy and I discussed it, and we would be happy to schedule times for you to come visit with Ruby.”
Awesome, he just has to be nice to make this even more difficult.
“Thanks, I would like that, and I think Liz would too,” I tell him even though I doubt Liz wants to see me at the moment.
“Well, I hope you brought a big truck because Ruby has a lot of baby stuff.”
“If it’s okay, we’ll get as much as we can today and then come back for the rest,” Theodore says.
“Yeah, whatever. Just, I want it out soon,” I tell him. Once Ruby is gone, I don’t want all of the reminders of her sitting around. It’ll be like losing her over and over again.
I lead the couple upstairs to her room so they can get started, all while still holding Ruby and daring them to try and take her from me just yet. “This is most of it. Her car seat and diaper bag are out in my car.”
“We won’t be needing the crib,” Nancy says. “We’ll use the one our sons both used. It’s tradition, a crib that’s been in our family for generations.”
“Fine,” I tell them. “I’ll be down in the living room when you’re done.”
Elizabeth
When I get to Cooper’s house, his car and bike are there, so I’m guessing he is too. But when I walk through the door, I notice it’s too quiet.
“Cooper?” I call out. There’s no response. “Cooper?” I say again as I walk through the house and stop in the doorway of Ruby’s room. It’s heartbreakingly empty, except for the dresser and crib that have been busted into a million pieces.
She’s gone. And I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.
I should’ve come back home sooner, but Cooper was being such an ass that I didn’t want to speak to him, and work has been piling up on me. I went to the office to give him some time to cool down. Guess it wasn’t enough time
.
I finally find him sitting out on the back porch, smoking a cigarette. I didn’t even know he smoked. I’ve never smelled smoke on his clothes or in his house.
“What are you doing?” I ask him.
His thousand-yard stare is focused off in the distance and doesn’t waiver when he says in an almost too calm voice, “I changed my mind. You don’t need to move out.”
“Okay?” I reply.
“I’ll put the house in your name. You can have it.”
“What are you talking about? I don’t want your house!” I yell at him.
“Fine, then once you’ve moved out, I’ll put it up for sale.”
“Why would you do that?” I ask him.
“Because I don’t need it.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Cooper? I know you’re upset that Ruby is gone. I wish I would’ve had a chance to say goodbye…”
“You could have if you had been here! Now I know how important she really was to you. Work has always come before me and it always came before her.”
“How can you say that? After you started acting like an asshole to me, I went to the office to catch up on a few things. I thought you would keep her here until I got back!”
“Well, I didn’t. The Fullers were ready to get her home.”
“Why did you destroy her crib? What if they need it?” I ask.
“They don’t need it,” he says as he flicks the ashes from the end of the cigarette and takes another puff. “They have a family heirloom crib for her.”
“Oh,” I say.
A moment later, Cooper stands up and puts out his cigarette in an ash tray.
“It’s been…fun,” he says to me, finally making eye contact. More than eye contact. His gaze lowers from my eyes to take in every inch of me to my shoes and then back up again. “Take care of yourself, Liz.”
“That’s it?” I say to him when he jogs down the porch steps and starts to walk around the side of the house. “That’s all you’re going to say to me? It’s been fun? Well, fuck you, Cooper! I did everything you asked of me, and this, you walking away, is the thanks I get?”
I get even more pissed when he doesn’t say another word, just disappears. Then I hear his bike roar to life and know he’s leaving. He’s leaving me alone in the home I had with him for a few weeks. A home with him and a baby we both loved. Cooper even said he loved me the other night, but I guess either it wasn’t enough, or he never really meant it. All I know for certain is that I can’t stay here. I need to get some air, to clear my head.
As if someone up above heard my plea, my cell phone rings.
Recognizing the Kentucky area code, I quickly answer it. “Hello?”
“An inmate from USP McCreary is attempting to reach you. Their call has been prepaid, therefore accepting the call will not incur any charges on your part. Press one to accept or two to decline,” the usual automated recording tells me.
I press one and then Owen’s voice comes through, “Liz! I’m so glad I got you.”
“Hey, Owen. How are things?” I ask because I haven’t talked to him in a few weeks.
“I’m good. Better than good. Can you get up here before Monday?”
“Ah, this coming Monday, like three days away?” I ask in confusion.
“Yeah, it’s pretty important. I can understand if you can’t.”
Since I was just thinking that I need to get away, I agree. “Sure, yeah, I can come. What’s going on?”
“I’ll fill you in when you get here. I’m about to run out of call minutes, so I’ll see you then!”
“Okay.”
“Bye, Liz. Love you.”
“Bye,” I reply, unable to return the same phrase.
Needing to get out of the silent, empty house as soon as possible, I throw a few clothes and toiletries into an overnight bag and hop in my car.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Cooper
What I’m about to do is stupid. Hell, I know that. Yet, I’m still going to do it. Why? Because I don’t have anything to lose now.
Ruby’s gone.
Liz is free to leave me and go back to her life.
I can’t just go back to running Avalon and being nothing more than a Savage King. Not with the guilt riding on my shoulders for failing Jenna.
The man who killed her doesn’t deserve to live; I know this in the depths of my blackened soul. I could’ve ended his life days ago, but I didn’t. I pussied out and tried to do the right thing.
But now I can’t figure out what made it seem like the right thing.
Because it’s what Liz wanted, and I needed to make her happy? Probably.
I won’t fail Jenna on this, though. I’ll find a way to get to Peter, and then I’ll kill him with my bare hands if I have to.
As I’m roaring down the highway on my bike, my vision occasionally blurs, and I slow down a little as waves of dizziness assail me. The constant nightmares eased a bit while I was with Liz, but between the ones I was having and staying up with Ruby, I’m still not sleeping much. After a couple of hours in the saddle, I pull into a rest stop to stretch my legs and try to get my head straight.
I know where Peter Kozlov is right now. He’s being held in Orange County, at the Correctional Facility just outside of Chapel Hill. Getting to him there will be even easier than if he was still a free man; he’ll never see me coming in the mass of criminals crammed into the place. The only catch is I have to get myself arrested first.
By the time I get to Chapel Hill, the streets of the college town are crowded with frat boys and sorority chicks crawling through the bars and restaurants on Franklin Street. I park my bike and set off on foot through the throngs of people, trying to figure out exactly what I need to do to get myself picked up.
It doesn’t take me long at all to find trouble, especially the way I look in this crowd. I’m just outside of a bar with the unlikely name of The Crunkleton when I overhear a shabby looking and obviously homeless old man asking for change.
“Hey there, young buck,” the homeless man calls to a group of four men, all wearing matching blue polo shirts. “Spare a dollar for a man to get a drink, what do you say?” he asks them, reaching up from where he’s sitting to tug on their khakis.
“Piss off,” the frat boy huffs, slapping the man’s hand away. “Get the fuck out of here before someone kicks your face into the pavement.”
I don’t know whether it’s the smarmy bastard’s tone, or the way his three cronies cackle at the old man as they walk by, spitting on the pavement near him, that sets me off. A moment later I stomp over to the obvious leader of their little group, the one who was mouthing off, and block his path.
“What the fuck do you want?” he sneers as he turns towards me.
“I want you to apologize to the old man, you prick,” I growl at him.
The boy bursts into laughter, then takes a step back as he looks me over. “Look, man,” he chuckles. “I don’t want any problems with the rainbow patrol. Take your shaggy hair and your leather vest over to The Blue Horn. It’s a gay bar a few blocks down. I’m sure they’ll treat you right.”
“Oh shit, Jay, look, he’s getting red just thinking about it,” one of the frat boy's buddies snickers as I feel myself flushing with rage.
“Yeah,” the one named Jay replies. “Get out of here, shaggy. I think I hear them playing Y.M.C.A. just for you.”
He tries to shoulder past me and shoves me to the side with his shit-eating smirk still on his face. His expression changes to an almost comical look of shock when I kick the side of his knee, and as his leg crumples and he begins to fall, my fist comes down on the side of his head.
Jay is out before he even hits the ground, but the next few seconds are an absolute shitshow as his three friends rush at me. I jump over Jay and get between two cars parked on the street, so only one of them can come at me directly. The first one punches me in the side but gets repaid for his efforts when I slam my fist into his chin and send him staggerin
g backwards. He trips over his boy Jay on the ground and sits down so hard I hear his teeth click.
The next one rushes into the gap, and I know I’m in trouble when the guy who is built like a linebacker, comes in low and wraps his arms around me. He carries us both out into the street, where it’s only by the grace of God and a convenient red light that we don’t get run over. I can’t get a clean hit on the big fucker since he’s got his head tucked in like a turtle, but I do manage to get my arm around his neck as he takes us down to the pavement. The top of his head hits the ground before my back does, and I hear a groan come out from under me as I twist and roll, elbowing him in the ribs with all I’ve got.
The last of them rushes out into the street and manages to kick me in the side before I can grab his leg. I break away from the boy who had tackled me and toss his friend, whose leg I’m twisting so hard his boot pops off, to the ground. Before I can do anything else, a piercing whistle silences the babble of onlookers around us, and two uniformed officers push through the crowd.
“Get your hands up where I can see them, now!” one of the officers demands. I see that both of them are pointing their tasers at me, and I throw my hands up while backing away from the two frat boys who are picking themselves up from the street.
“Turn around and keep those hands up! You two, do the same, get those hands where I can see them. Barnes, cuff all of them while we figure out what the hell is going on here!”
As the officer named Barnes takes each of my arms behind my back and clicks the cuffs, I can’t help the satisfied smile that creeps across my face.
“It won’t be long now, Peter. Not long at all,” I whisper.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Elizabeth
