by Nicole Casey
“Take them. It’s all the reports, tests, and evidence from my ex’s death, proving that I did not kill her. I would have never, I loved her.” I started to reach out to take Jordan’s hands, but she recoiled and I pulled back. “Not nearly as much as I love you.”
“Harrison,” Jordan murmured and it was like a stake through the heart.
“Please, you have to come home. We cannot survive without you. Ethan’s regressing to how he was when his wife left. Oliver’s temper is out of control. Cade has thrown himself into his work way more than he had before. Lowe and Rogan are starting to spend all of their time working out. The kids are absolutely terrible and telling all of us how we’re nothing compared to you, and me…” I stared deep into her eyes. “I’m like a man who's lost a limb. Please. We need you.”
Jordan stood staring at me, her emotions pained for a different reason now. She clung the case files to her chest and nodded her head. I got hopeful at first, but then Jordan stepped backwards into the duplex.
“I will think about it,” she said.
Another stake to the heart. I wanted her to believe me sight unseen, but I suppose that was a little too much to ask. I didn’t want to press her. The fact that she’d given me the time of day at all was a miracle, so I had to hope that my pleas had been enough.
“I understand,” I said.
I was certain my disappointment was prevalent as Jordan stepped away, and closed the door. With it separating us, I had no choice but to wait and pray that the heart of our family would finally come home.
24
Jordan
I sat on the couch in Khloe’s house with the case files Harrison gave me in my hand. I didn’t even need to look inside. I knew they would tell me he was innocent. I knew that all along. Everything I had seen in those packages had terrified me beyond reason, but the more time I spent away, the more my brain worked to convince me what I already knew was true; Harrison was not a killer.
“What do you think?” I asked Khloe.
Khloe snatched the folder from my hands and whapped me over the head with it. “What do I think? Are you kidding me? If a man that looked like that stood in front of me and made an apology and begged for me like that, I’d have jumped on him on the spot.”
I sighed. “I don’t know.”
“What’s not to know?” Khloe said, sitting down on the couch and opening the folder. “Everything he said is in here. It’s all true.”
“I didn’t need to see that stuff to know it was true,” I admitted to her. “Harrison wouldn’t harm someone like that. I was scared at first, and what I saw, it was hard to think otherwise, but I know him. I know he wouldn’t do that.”
“His real name is Adam,” Khloe said. “That’s hot.”
“Not hotter than Harrison,” I said, with a smile. I could see myself trickly swapping the names in bed for a bit of added fun.
“If you don’t think he did it, then what’s the hesitation? They clearly miss you, and you’re dying without those kids,” Khloe said.
I barely wanted to admit it out loud. “Truthfully?” I said, turning to face her, with my cheeks burning. “I’m embarrassed.”
“Embarrassed? About what?” Khloe asked.
“Well, I just sort of flew off the handle and disappeared. My poor kids, they were just starting to get to be comfortable and wanted me in their lives, and I just ran out on them like their shitty mothers. The guys are used to women dropping them and leaving without another word. I can’t believe they actually want me back. When I first got that first set of photos, the first thing I thought was ‘there’s no way any of my men killed someone.’ I let someone I didn’t even know convince me otherwise and I ran out on my family just like my dad! I…” I started to cry. “I became everything I promised myself I would never become and now I’m ashamed to go back and face them.”
Khloe slid over to me and wrapped her arms around me. “Hey, come on now, look at what just happened.” She leaned away and looked at me. “He drove all the way out here just to get you. You heard what he said. They all miss you, they can’t live without you. You are nothing like those mothers and you are nothing like your father, do you know why?” I shook my head. “Because you’re going back.”
Her words struck me like a melodic chord on a guitar. She was right. The thing that made my dad and the kids’ mothers such dirtbags wasn’t that they left, it was that they left and never came back. People made mistakes, and the important thing was to face them, not to run from them. What I’d seen was meant to convince me that my men were evil, and it worked for a while, but I knew now that I had been taken advantage of. I had to get back to my family. I owed them an apology for leaving them, and I had to start working to patch things up right away.
That night I didn’t sleep, but for an entirely different reason. I was too excited to get back to the men and my kids. I packed the things I’d been keeping at Khloe’s place for the past few weeks, and as soon as day broke, I made my way for Dallas. If I was quick enough, I could catch the kids before they left for school. I used my drive to come up with the perfect way to tell them that I was sorry for letting them down.
I pulled up in front of Ethan’s house and used the key I still had to let myself inside. I was happy to see that he hadn’t changed the locks. They truly hadn’t moved on from me. With the way I behaved, it was surprising. I could smell the rich smell of Ethan making his morning coffee from the kitchen and knew I’d find the man in there. I walked into the kitchen, and saw him standing there, staring into a pot of coffee. His eyes had bags under them and his hair was unkempt; he looked stressed and exhausted.
“Hi,” I greeted.
Ethan turned and looked at me, and he dropped the pot from his hands causing it to crash into pieces on the floor. He raced across the kitchen, and held out his arms, that I leapt into, catching his lips in a passionate kiss. He gripped me tightly, and even feeling his arms starting to constrict me a little too much, I didn’t let go or ask him to. I wanted to feel him against me. I wanted to feel us back together.
“I’m so happy you’re home,” he whispered to me.
“Me too,” I said, not able to stop the tears from cascading down my cheeks. “Harrison made a pretty convincing argument.”
“You mean Adam?” Ethan replied and I just shook my head.
“I don’t even want to talk about it,” I said with a chuckle.
“Jordan!” I turned and Davin and David were racing into the kitchen.
I whipped out of Ethan’s arms and held out my hands to the boys. “Stop!” The boys came to a screeching halt, both looking shocked and hurt. “I’m so happy to see you and I’m going to hug you, but your father broke a glass and it’s everywhere. I don’t want you to hurt yourselves.”
“Take them into the foyer. I’ll clean up and meet you out there,” Ethan said, taking another quick kiss from me before turning and tip toeing back towards the shattered glass.
The boys backed out and I followed them, and once we were safely out of the kitchen, I dropped to my knees and they both threw themselves into my arms. I was crying and David was as well. Davin, ever stoic, was holding it together, but even he was sniffling a little as I held on tight.
“Where did you go?” David asked.
“You missed our baseball game,” Davin complained.
“I know, I’m so sorry.” I kissed them each on the cheek. “I got a little afraid and ran from a problem that I had, but I sorted it out, but I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I promise I will never, ever do it again. Okay?”
The boys continued to hug me tightly with an understanding, until Ethan came back into the room. “Boys, school.”
They both gripped me tighter and it broke my heart. Last time they parted ways from me, I disappeared, and no doubt they were afraid that would happen again. I put a hand on each of their cheeks and looked them each in the eyes.
“I promise you, I will never leave you again. I’ll pick you up from school today, just like alwa
ys, okay?” I said.
Davin and David nodded, and then finally released me and rushed upstairs. I didn’t want to part ways from Ethan so he could bring the boys to school and go to work, but it was necessary. With another kiss, I promised him that we would definitely be making up for lost time, all seven of us, once they were all off of work for the evening. By the time I was picking the kids up from school, I’d received word that they would all be dropped off at Ethan’s sister’s for care for the night, and that I should meet back at his place and prepare myself for a long night. I was more than excited. I’d missed my men.
Before we could get to any sexy stuff, I owed them all apologies. I kissed them each and told them all about the dreams I’d had about them all while I was away; Bar hopping downtown with Cade, the hunting lodge with Rogan, cruising around Dallas with Lowe, going on ride-alongs with Oliver, cuddling in the den with Ethan, and enjoying a fancy restaurant with Harrison. I’d missed them and I wanted them all to know just how much. I told them how embarrassed I was for running off, and gave Harrison an extra apology for assuming the worst about him when I should have allowed him to explain himself. He simply kissed me and asked me to put it behind me.
“Can you all forgive me?” I asked. “I really am sorry.”
“Well, ma’am,” Oliver started, stepping forward and speaking in an overly dramatic voice, “we might be able to let you off with a warning, but you might be due a spanking first.”
The guys started laughing at the horrible joke, but I knew I owed them anything they wanted. I turned my ass to Oliver and wiggled, and he started laughing. I could see the lust and love on all of their faces, and with the kids gone for the night, it was time for us to begin our long awaited reunion.
25
Harrison
Christmas
If my life had been a cheesy Christmas movie for the past few months, I was in the final scene. I was sitting in front of Ethan’s massive, 10-foot, spruce tree that had been immaculately decorated with silver and gold ornaments, several strings of white lights, shimmering, silver garland, and topped with a glistening gold star. All of the guys and kids were still dressed in PJs, and we had all crammed into Ethan’s home for the night, so we could wake up and enjoy Christmas morning together.
Jordan sat with a bright smile on her face, watching the kids open their gifts both from her and from their fathers, and then sent them off to start enjoying their new things, while she cooked a massive breakfast for our strange little family. We enjoyed the morning and afternoon together, enjoying a cookout for lunch made my Ethan, and even had a makeshift snowball fight with fake snow Lowe had prepared and decorated the yard with, and we even got lucky when a bit of real snow started to slowly drift down from the sky and coat us in a little bit of Christmas magic.
We went inside afterwards and enjoyed mugs of homemade hot chocolate, and then sent the kids off in different directions to enjoy the remainder of the holiday with their grandparents, aunts, and uncles, with Trey tagging along with Tyler, going to Oliver’s parents with whom we’d grown very close since first arriving in Texas.
Once the kids were out of our hair, we were ready to ‘open’ our gift from Jordan; her promise to do anything and everything we wanted for the remainder of the night. Before we could get to that, though, we gathered around the tree to share presents of our own. Jordan made us participate in a particularly cheesy new tradition of buying gifts for all of the other dads. She said she wanted us to get to know one another even better, and gift exchange was one of the best ways to do it. To really drive the point home, she refused to open any of the presents any of us had gotten for her (apart from the ones the kids got for her which she opened earlier when they could see) until after we’d open the gifts we’d gotten one another.
Call it a one track mind, but we’d all gotten Oliver some form of boxing materials. He got new shorts, a couple pairs of new gloves, new shoes, a kit with expensive tape and a mouth guard, a robe, and a new boxing bag. He was elated to receive the items that all went together, and was already asking Lowe to make a trip to the gym the next day to break them in.
Lowe also got a new pair of gloves, but he was also gifted a paint job for his ATV, a new set of tires, a fancy shadow box that contained his most recent award for his company, a replacement bluetooth speaker for one he’d broken that he liked to use in his garage, and tickets to a monster show coming to town.
Cade was boring and asked for all organizational things, which he received. He got a new, leather office chair, a fancy filing cabinet that locked, a silver desktop organizer, a solar-powered clock, an expensive wireless mouse for his computer, and Oliver broke the mold and got him a retro version of his favorite handheld video game, a gift that nearly brought the man to tears.
Rogan received hunting gear. A new jacket, a new rifle, an ample supply of his favorite type of ammo, some new blankets and pillows for his lodge, a purchased ‘special game’ license for the upcoming season, and a matching set of hat, gloves, and boots for the cold.
Ethan received three identical sets of architecture grid paper, an expensive set of sketching pencils, a new drafting table, and an interior detail gift certificate for his new Mustang.
I was worried my friends may not know what to get me, given the fact that they’d just recently learned I wasn’t really who I said I was, but it was possibly my gifts that had received the most thought. Oliver gave me a book on the extended mental learning of martial arts, and had marked pages in it that he thought most pertained to me. Rogan gave me a starters investment into a college fund for Trey, noting that he didn’t do it because I needed the financial help, but because he wanted me to know his institution was always there to support us.
Cade and Lowe worked together on their gift, and each gave me one half of a new surround sound set for my home, stating that they wanted to officially start the movie night the three of us had been bragging about starting, and that my house would be the destination. Ethan purchased season tickets for the five of us to the upcoming season’s Ranger games, knowing that Trey and I had developed an interest in baseball through him and his boys. Last, but not least, Jordan gave me a homemade piece of glassware. It had been blown by scratch and on one side had the smoky visage of ‘Adam’ written in it, and on the other side it said, ‘Harrison.’ It was meant to remind me that my identities were not ‘either/or’ they were ‘both/and.’
We were shocked by how well we’d purchased gifts were one another, and Jordan was right, it made us even closer. They truly felt like a family to me, and I couldn’t wait to see what the future would bring us.
“Time for Jordan,” I said, turning my attention towards her.
She looked in confusion at the base of the tree. There were no presents remaining under it. “There’s nothing there.”
“Don’t tell me you honestly think any of us got you stuff that could fit under that tree,” Oliver quipped. “I’m having your apartment redecorated. Say goodbye to those disgusting Ikea chairs.”
“I got you a car,” Ethan said simply. Jordan’s jaw dropped and his face remained stoic and serious. “Yes, seriously, and not the Stan Van.”
Jordan laughed and shook her head.
“I’ve added your name to the title on the lodge,” Lowe said. “It’s your home now as well, and we can go whenever you’d like.”
Rogan crossed his arms. “I’m sending you and your mom to Hawaii.” Jordan’s eyes widened. She seemed overwhelmed with the gifts she was being showered with. “I know you’ve been wanting to spend some time with her. Now you can.”
“You can eat for free at your favorite restaurant in Downtown Dallas,” Cade said. “Because I bought 51% of the shares and made it a stipulation.”
Jordan let out an adorable little squeal and I had a feeling I knew where we’d be having Christmas dinner.
I stood up from my sofa. My gift was intentionally saved until last, as it came with something extra exciting that we’d all prepared for her together.
I walked into the garage, where I’d temporarily stored the fluffy, tan Shiba Inu puppy I’d gotten. I carried him into the house and then set him down and watched as Jordan’s face lit up. She called to the dog, and he charged across the room and jumped up into her arms, licking her face profusely.
“Oh my god! He’s so cute!” she yelped. “What’s his name?”
“Whatever you want it to be,” I told her. “He’s yours, but I have to ask you to be careful. His collar holds something quite special.”
Jordan finagled him around until she could look at his collar, and then her breath hitched. She tugged gently on the small bag hanging from the puppy’s collar and pulled out the sterling silver ring, with a bright, white diamond on top. Around the band were one each of six different stones; garnet, emerald, turquoise, opal, sapphire, and amethyst. The colored gems represented the six of us, while the diamond represented her.
“You are the bright jewel in our life, and we had that made for you so that you would know that we want you to be ours forever, and for us to be yours,” I explained to her. “You make us whole, and we never want to go another day without you.”
Jordan nodded, teary-eyed at my explanation, and Cade, who was closest to her, grabbed the ring from her and slipped it on her finger. I managed to snag the dog away from her and returned him to his kennel in the heated garage, with plenty of toys, food and water. His mom was going to be busy for a while.
With Oliver stripping off his clothes as he led the way, we all made our way to the bedroom, where we closed out our Christmas with long, passionate love-making to the backdrop of a soft, white, wintry snow cascading slowly down from the sky just outside the window.
