by Poppy Parkes
“He is amazingly hot, you guys,” Padme interrupted. “Like, he could give you an orgasm by making eye contact.”
“That is not –“ Ruth protested around Cecelia’s latest squeal.
“Well, that is exciting,” Maddie said in a bland voice belied by the playful sparkle in her eyes. “Literally.”
Ruth buried her face in her hands. “You guys are not allowed to meet him, ever, if you keep this up,” she said through her fingers.
She heard a sharp intake of breath.
“What,” said Padme, voice dropping into seriousness, “is that?”
Ruth's head whipped up, heart suddenly leaping as her eyes darted around, searching for the source of Padme's concern. “What? Is there a bug on me or something?”
“No,” squeaked Cecilia, eyes growing wide, “but a ring is.”
“An engagement ring,” said Padme.
Ruth swallowed hard as she realized her friends were attempting to bore holes through her ring with their eyes. “Oh,” she said, laughing weakly, “that.”
“Yeah, that.” Maddie scowled. “Please tell me that what I think is going on is not actually going on. Please tell me that you are not completely out of your mind.”
“Okay, I probably am completely out of my mind,” Ruth blurted. “I know how crazy this is going to sound – but Derek proposed yesterday, totally out of the blue –”
“Obviously,” Padme snorted, crossing her arms over her chest.
“– and I haven't said yes –”
“What a relief,” said Maddie in a flat, sardonic tone.
Ruth glared. “But . . . I still want to say yes.”
“I can't believe you didn't tell us – tell me, at least – right away,” Padme said, a scowl blossoming on her face to go with the hurt in her eyes. “This is huge.”
“I'm telling you now, aren't I?” replied Ruth. “That's why I asked you all out tonight. To talk about this. I – I needed to process on my own first, you know?”
Cecelia nodded. “That's totally understandable hon,” she said reassuringly, shooting Padme and Maddie a glare. “We get that, right, ladies?”
“I still think it's insane,” said Maddie.
“If you haven't said yes,” Padme said slowly, “then why are you wearing the ring?”
“Because . . . well, look at it,” said Ruth, feeling the blush return as she held out her hand. “I mean, come on, it's amazing.”
The three women leaned in over the table to examine the ring.
“It is very beautiful,” Cecelia agreed, beaming at Ruth.
“Okay, it really is totally you, I have to admit,” said Padme begrudgingly. “I'll give him that – he has, somehow, nailed this. But there's more to marriage than a nice ring, Ruth.”
“Do you think I don't know that?” Ruth asked, shaking her head. “I'm not stupid.”
“Could've fooled me,” grumbled Maddie.
“Hush,” said Cecilia, jabbing Maddie with an elbow.
“So what exactly are you thinking, then?” Padme asked. “I mean, okay, you haven't said yes to Derek. But you also haven't said no, right?”
Ruth nodded. “Yeah,” she said with a sigh. “I haven't said yes because – well, obviously, this is all nuts. There is no logical reason why I should say yes, and about a zillion reasons why I should say no.”
“But . . . ?” said Padme.
Ruth sighed again. “But . . . I love him. I've never felt this way about anyone, ever. And it's not just honeymoon-y, romantic feelings. It's that knowing him – well, it's making me come alive. Making me believe in myself, in my dreams I have hope for the first time in – God, I don't know how long. And not just hope for love – hope for living. Living well. Living awake, with blood coursing through my veins and wind on my face. Like there's light all around me.” She paused, drawing a deep breath, taking in her friends' dumbfounded expressions. “Is that completely dumb?”
Silence reigned over their table, broken only by the buzz of their fellow patrons and the musical duo warming up on the platform stage.
“I think that's completely . . . amazing,” Padme said at last, a smile slowly dawning over her face. “I mean, I've noticed it. Noticed the change in you since Derek showed up. And you're right, it's not just lovey-dovey. It's deeper.”
“This is so exciting!” said Cecilia. “I am so excited!!”
“So . . . it's not ridiculous?” Ruth asked, forehead creased in concern.
“Of course it's ridiculous,” replied Maddie with a short shake of her head. “But love is ridiculous, isn't it?”
“Completely ridiculous,” Cecelia agreed, bouncing up and down in her chair, blonde hair sashaying around her. “Does this mean you're going to accept? To say yes?”
“I have no idea,” Ruth said, meeting Padme's gaze. “I want to. But . . . well, as you know, there are so many reasons not to.”
“I know,” said Padme. “But it sounds like your reasons to say yes might trump those. Anyway, we can't decide this for you. Only you can.”
“Oh my gosh,” Ruth breathed, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, “I cannot believe I am seriously considering this. That we are having this conversation.”
“Tell me about it,” said Maddie, smiling in spite of herself.
“Hey, Ruth?” said Padme, taking Ruth's hand in hers.
“Yeah?”
“If you decide to say yes . . . well, we are going to throw you a hell of a party. And if you don't, we say no with you. Either way, we love you.”
Tears flooded into Ruth's eyes, taking her by surprise as they blurred her vision. “Oh, Padme . . . I – I don't know what to say.”
“Here's what I know – that you deserve a damn fine guy that brings out your best, that loves you and that you love back. And if Derek is that guy, well, then I am all for it, insane timing or not.”
“I think he might be,” Ruth said in a small voice, feeling her stomach twist with excitement at the truth of her words.
Maddie raised her plastic cup filled with bubbly Italian soda. “Well, I'll drink to that,” she said, “even though I still think it's madness.”
Padme and Cecelia raised their cups to meet hers, and finally Ruth added her own coffee cup, bursting out laughing at their unorthodox toast.
“This is absurd!” Ruth managed to choke the words out around her laughter as her friends joined in.
“Only the best kind of absurd,” giggled Padme.
I hope she's right , Ruth thought as the musicians struck up a bawdy bluegrass number, openly admiring her ring, warm emotions bubbling through her.
“Oh my gosh, I'm engaged,” Ruth blurted out over the music to her friends. “I'm engaged, you guys!”
“You'd probably better let Derek know,” Maddie snickered.
Ruth's heart dropped like a stone. “Oh shit. You're right. And my phone . . . I've lost my phone! How am I supposed to call him? I mean, I don't have his number memorized.”
“Good thing I still have his number then, huh?” Padme said. “It's at home . . . I can bring it to school tomorrow.”
Ruth shook her head. “Can I come home with you after this is over,” she said, gesturing at the musicians, “and get it from you then? I don't know if I can wait until tomorrow.”
Padme grinned. “Sure, lady.”
Somewhat reassured, Ruth settled back in her seat and tried to pay attention to the performance, to lose herself in the rowdy music. But all she could think of was Derek, and how he didn't know, and how she was about to embark upon the most insane adventure of her life with the most surprising man she could hope to share it with.
Chapter 13
Derek sat slumped at the bar, the half-consumed glass of gin in front of him holding no allure and providing no comfort.
“This is torture of the very worst kind,” he informed Ridger and Sandra, who were perched at his side. The bar was strangely quite for a Thursday evening, but Derek felt glad. The last thing he was in the mood for was the press and tu
mult of a crowd.
“That's what you get for acting like a crazy person,” snarked Sandra.
“Quit it,” said Ridger, nudging her. “He's turning over a new leaf, and that is a damn good thing.”
“You don't think I was stupid to propose?” Derek asked hopefully, turning on the stool to face his friend.
A grimace crossed Ridger's face. “I don't know, man, it was pretty, uh . . . surprising.” He fumbled for the word. Sandra snorted.
Derek's face fell. He turned back to face his drink, nudging the glass with a finger, a trail of condensation glistening on the bar's surface in its wake. “Fuck.”
“Look,” said Sandra, rolling her eyes. “I didn't say it was stupid to propose, just crazy. Two very different things.”
“They don't sound that different to me,” Derek shot back.
“Um, do you not know me at all?” she said. “If there's anyone you know who embraces crazy, it's me. Take it as a compliment.”
“She means that you've got balls,” Ridger interjected.
“Crazy balls,” she said, making Ridger laugh into his beer.
You are not helping,” grumbled Derek. “It's been a whole fucking day since I proposed, and she still hasn't called. It's got to be official, right? I screwed up. I screwed it all up.”
Sandra sighed, and when she spoke her voice had softened. “Look, just give her some time, okay? You dropped a major bomb. Give the girl some space to recover, to think. It sounds like she's worth the wait, right?”
“Certainly more than your usual female fare,” Ridger said under his breath.
“Shut up,” said Derek.
“Well, it's true, man,” his friend protested. “And I said it before and I'll say it again – I'm really glad you've gone a different way. With women, I mean.”
“What he means,” Sandra interjected, “is that it's about damn time you stopped being such a louse. I can't wait to meet this chick, because she must be something special to have turned you around.”
“She didn't turn me around,” Derek said. “I wanted to turn me around, because of her.”
“Same difference.” She waved her hand airily.
“I get what you're saying, man,” Ridger reassured him, offering a fist.
Derek bumped his own fist against it glumly. “Thanks.” He checked his phone for what was probably the millionth time. Still nothing. “Maybe I should call her.”
“Derek.” Sandra leaned forward and took his face in her hand, squeezing his cheeks so that his mouth puckered like fish lips. “Give. Her. Time.” She raised an eyebrow. “Got it?”
“Yeah,” he said, the reply garbled by her compressing fingers.
She released his face. “Good. Don't forget. You did a ballsy thing. Unorthodox, but not necessarily bad. You're afraid you fucked up? Well, you won't help things by hassling her.”
Ridger nodded. “She's probably right.”
“I am right,” Sandra said firmly, raising her eyes to the ceiling in a saintly expression while simultaneously flipping her middle fingers at the two men.
Ridger laughed again, but Derek couldn't managed anything more than a limp attempt at a smile.
“This sucks,” he informed his gin.
“Welcome to love, man,” Ridger said with a grin, clapping him heartily on the shoulder.
“Please tell me it's not always like this?”
“No,” said Sandra with a smirk.
“But it's worth it,” added Ridger, gathering the sassy woman into his arms and planting a kiss on her neck, making her smile in spite of herself. “Right, lovey?”
“Go fuck yourself,” she said, pulling away and grabbing her bag, flashing another middle finger at them as she sashayed toward the bar's pool tables.
“That means that she agrees,” Ridger informed Derek, wiggling his eyebrows. “Ain't love grand?”
“It's certainly something,” Derek sighed. What the hell have I gotten myself into? he wondered, shaking his head.
Turning on his stool, Derek saw that Sandra had struck up a game of pool with a grizzled older man wearing a biker's leathers. He grabbed his phone.
“I'm going to call her,” he said.
“Dude,” said Ridger, sitting up straight. “You heard Sandra . . .”
“I don't care. I can't take it anymore. I won't hassle Ruth or anything, I'll make it quick, just ask her if she's decided yet. Two minutes, tops.”
“I don't know, man. You're going to ignore love advice that you heard straight from the mouth of a woman? They don't drop their secrets very often.”
Derek shook his head. “I'm in agony. Just two minutes.”
He dropped off the bar stool, Ridger's protests falling unheard on his ears, and strode for the door of the bar. His heart lightened with every step at the anticipation of talking with Ruth, of hearing her voice and – with any luck – her answer regarding the proposal.
Derek brought her contact info up on his phone and hit send. The phone rang just twice before it clicked in answer.
“Hello?” came a man's voice over the line.
The words died on Derek's lips. His stomach felt like it was attached to an anchor that had just dropped into the depths of the ocean.
“Hello?” came the man's voice again, sounding vaguely familiar.
Derek's mouth flapped open and closed, but he could land on no words to utter.
“Ruth –“ he heard the man on the other end of the line say, and at that he jerked the phone away from his ear and ended the call, chest heaving.
Jaw set, mind reeling, he walked woodenly back to the bar, grabbing his glass and downing the remaining gin in one swift movement.
Ridger eyed him with concern. “You called her.” It wasn't a question.
Derek nodded, slamming the glass back onto the bar. “I called her.”
“And?”
He shook his head, barking a single mirthless note of laughter. “A man answered.”
“A man answered?”
“Yeah. A fucking guy.”
Ridger whistled, a low, swooping sound. “Shit. You think –“
“She was with that guy? That she cheated? Yeah. That's exactly why I think.” Derek raked a hand through his hair, enjoying how some of the tendrils snagged painfully. “I feel like such an ass. Here I am in agony, and she's off with some other man. Again.”
“You think it was the same dude?”
“Does it matter?” Derek snapped, fixing his friend with a steely glare.
“I guess not,” Ridger shrugged. “So now what?”
Derek frowned. “I don't know. I think I'm going to take a walk.”
“Want us to come with?” Ridger nodded to Sandra, who was scowling at her pool opponent as he sank ball after ball.
“No, thanks.” Derek slid from his stool.
Ridger extended his hand and Derek accepted it, the two of them shaking hands. “I'm really sorry, man.”
“Yeah,” said Derek, voice clipped, angry, “me, too.”
* * *
Padme turned the key in the lock and swung her apartment door open. The scent of jasmine and spiced incense met Ruth as she followed her friend inside, tossing her coat and bag on the tumble of brightly colored pillows that served as a couch.
She sighed happily, sinking down onto the pillows herself. “When are you going to come help me decorate my apartment, Padme?”
Her friend kicked off her towering and vividly blue heels and padded into the tiny kitchen, barely big enough to hold a small refrigerator, a petite stove, and a tiny table that doubled as a counter. “When you tell me it's time. Just say the word.”
“I'm going to forget as soon as I leave,” sighed Ruth.
“Yeah, especially considering a certain handsome distraction.” Padme emerged from the kitchen, waving a scrap of paper playfully, throwing herself down on the pillows next to Ruth.
“Is that his number?”
“Uh huh,” nodded Padme.
Ruth reached out and snatche
d the paper scrap, examining Derek's stolid scrawl. Her stomach contracted in fear. “Am I really about to do this?” she murmured, more to herself than to her friend.
“Only if you want to.” Padme cocked her head in questioning. “Do you want to?”
