“Tell me, Loxley Belle. Know what?”
I stared into the face of my teddy bear. The toy’s black glass eyes did not judge me. They didn’t see anything. I clutched it tightly to my chest as I leaned back on my sagging pillow. It was ridiculous for a girl my age to still have teddy bears and dolls, but I couldn’t let them go. They had been my friends for such a long time, and once in a while, the Ghost Boy came to touch them. But he never stayed long because he belonged at Summerleigh, just like I did.
“What happened to Momma, Harper?”
“Aunt Dot didn’t say exactly, but she had been sick for a long time. Momma had a weak heart.” Oh, no. She died of a broken heart. “None of what happened to Momma or Daddy or even Jeopardy is your fault. None of it, Loxley Belle,” she said as she patted my leg. I sobbed some more, and we comforted one another, but she gave up trying to cajole me into telling her what I was talking about.
Harper went to my closet and began sliding my clothes around. “What are you doing?”
“You need a black dress for the funeral. I don’t see a single black thing in here, but that’s understandable. We’ll have to rectify that, sister.”
“I don’t want to go to her funeral,” I said as I turned my radio back on. Strangely enough, it was Perry Como again, only this time he was singing Don’t Let the Stars Get in Your Eyes. I didn’t turn it up loud, but it was loud enough to discourage further conversation. I wanted to sulk—I needed to sulk. For how long? I couldn’t say.
“You have to attend Momma’s funeral, but I’ll be with you every step of the way. Don’t worry about the dress. I have to go shopping, anyway. I’ll pick one up for you. You seem taller, though, a bit more slender.” She ignored my diversion tactic and continued to politely search through my closet. “Shoes too. Still a size seven shoe?”
I nodded my answer. Harper closed the closet door and sat on the side of my bed again. I wanted to be mad at her too, so mad that I could ignore her reasonable demeanor, but it was impossible. “I love you, Loxley. So does Aunt Dot. You have a lot of feelings bubbling up inside of you. I understand that. Remember when Daddy died? I thought I would never get over it. And then Jeopardy…”
We sat in silence for a little while as Perry sang to us. “It will get better, I promise. You probably have a lot of good memories of Momma—hold on to them. Treasure them. Think about them. I am going to do the same thing. We will cry a lot, and we will be angry, but it’s important that we don’t turn our anger on the wrong person. None of this is fair, Loxley. None of it.”
I felt Harper’s hand tremble, and her eyes blinked erratically, but it only lasted a few seconds. Yes, this was hard on her too. I was being selfish. Completely selfish.
“I love you, Harper.”
“I love you too, Loxley. You know Aunt Dot loves you to smithereens. You are her whole world. Don’t be unkind to her.”
“I don’t mean to be, but I tried to tell her that I wanted to see Momma. You don’t understand, Harper. You just don’t understand.” I gripped my teddy bear tight and closed my eyes. My sister said nothing, but I continued to feel her quiver ever so slightly. When she clutched my hand, I opened my eyes.
Harper’s face conveyed her hurt, but she didn’t snap at me. “I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon. I’m going to see Addison now and will do the shopping in the morning. The funeral is the day after tomorrow.”
“You aren’t staying here with us?”
“Not tonight. I’ll come stay tomorrow, though. Are you willing to share a bed with me, little sister?”
I squeezed her hand as she rose from the bed and smiled down at me. Yes, she looked so much like Momma. So much that it broke my heart. “Please remember what I said. Be kind to Aunt Dot.” And then she left me alone with my teddy bear and my thoughts. Eventually, I got up and went to the restroom to wash my face and put on my pajamas. I wasn’t hungry even though it was well past supper time. As I stepped out of the bathroom, I heard Aunt Dot crying. She wept soft and mournful tears—the sound of it nearly broke my heart. She was in her room with the door shut, and she was obviously making an effort to keep me from hearing her.
Terrible shame enveloped me. Harper was right, but then again, she usually was right. About everything. I should never have been so unkind to Aunt Dot. I walked to her door and poised my hand to knock. That’s when I realized my mistake. Aunt Dot wasn’t crying; it was someone else. And the crying wasn’t coming from her room but mine. As I turned my head, I could see a figure standing at the far end of the hall. The kitchen light fell behind her, and I could make out a petite silhouette. Aunt Dot! But if Aunt Dot wasn’t in my room weeping her heart out and Harper was gone, who was in my bedroom? As the sobs continued, I knew. No, I hadn’t heard her voice in a very long time, but I would never forget it. Never.
Momma was here, and she was crying. Crying for me, crying because I had let her down. If I had come, if I had visited her, it would have cheered her right up. She would have known that I loved her, that I had always loved her. Aunt Dot joined me outside my room. I moved toward the door, but she gripped my elbow gently and shook her head. With a finger to her lips, she stepped in front of me and opened the door quickly.
There was no one there. No one at all. Momma had been here, though. She had been here, and now she was gone. And my teddy bear had been moved. It was sitting in my rocking chair with my rose pink blanket tucked around it. Aunt Dot walked to the radio, but I had not left it on. My window was open slightly because it was a warm night, but there was no sound from outdoors that could have seeped inside. It was late, and our neighborhood was quiet except for a dog barking in the distance. Aunt Dot glanced at me, her eyes fearful. She closed the door, took me by the hand and led me to her room.
We didn’t talk, but I hugged her and we waited to hear Momma again. But she never made another sound. Sometime near sunup, I fell asleep. I woke up confused as to how I ended up in Aunt Dot’s bed, but then the memory of last night’s visitation came back to me in a rush. I sat upright in the bed, my eyes sticky, my body tired. I had missed my opportunity to talk to Momma, but I was pretty sure I knew where I could find her. And I would not be denied.
I had to go to Summerleigh. Momma couldn’t or wouldn’t stay here. Not as long as Aunt Dot was around. That had to have been why she didn’t return last night. I had been afraid at first, fearful at hearing her crying. But now that the shock had worn off, I wanted to hear her again more than anything.
And I could. But I had to get to Summerleigh first.
Chapter Three—Jerica
It was morning, and the sun poured in through the big window over the sink. I stared at the gardens as I washed the serving tray. Jordan cooed happily in his baby seat on the floor just a few feet away from me. He was just about too heavy to lift now. Which was fine with him because he preferred my arms to his carrier, crib or swing. Not so fine for my back, which seemed to ache quite a bit lately. That was part of the reason why I begged off on helping Jesse with working on his writer’s shack. That and it was too hot out for Jordan. He didn’t like to be hot and much preferred wearing nothing but a diaper. But I couldn’t let my back and Jordan’s fussy mood distract me; we had a large party of vacationers coming in at the end of the week, which was great because the till was getting low. We were comfortable, for now, but with a son to raise and diapers to buy, we needed to keep our eye on the bottom line.
Jordan blew bubbles and cooed at the toy that hung over his carrier. “What’s that, Jordie? You see the giraffe?” That excited him even more. He got his arms and legs moving, kicking away in excitement. Thank goodness he was happy today. “I love you, Momma’s boy.” He smiled at me and went back to focusing on the rattling toy. The more he moved, the more it rattled. This was the perfect gizmo for keeping an active baby entertained for a few minutes. Just a few more minutes, though, because naptime was quickly approaching. If I was lucky, I would get all my wisteria plates washed and dried. Oof! I’d gotten this water a little too hot.
I smiled at Jordan again as I turned my attention back to the wide backyard. It was such a beautiful day. Just glorious. I thought about Jesse and how he was progressing, but I wasn’t going to call him. I meant what I said about not calling him while he was in his shack. Hmm…maybe after his nap, Jordan will tolerate a car ride.
A sliding sound shook me out of my reverie.
What in the world could that be? My hands still in the water, I glanced around and was surprised to see that Jordan’s carrier had moved about two feet. He wasn’t crying, but he wasn’t playing with his toy. He stared at me as if to say, “What did you do that for?” I snatched my hands out of the water and dried them as I squatted down in front of him.
“Hey, how did you do that?” I asked nervously as I patted around the carrier. There was nothing on the floor, no water, nothing slick that would account for the carrier shifting or moving. Just as I was thinking that this wasn’t safe, the carrier moved again. Only it slid back and away from me as if an invisible force were taking my child away from me.
“Stop!” I yelled, and then Jordan began to cry. I gripped the carrier and unbuckled my son with shaking hands. I lifted him from the carrier and backpedaled away from the thing.
“Whoever or whatever you are, that’s not acceptable. You leave my son alone, you hear me!” I shouted as Jordan wailed along with me. “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay.” I reached for the car keys but thought better of it. I couldn’t drive without putting him back in the carrier. That wasn’t an option.
“It’s okay, Jordie. Everything is alright now.” The phone rang, and I snatched it up awkwardly. “Hello?”
“Hey.” Jesse’s voice on the phone was like a voice from heaven. “Sounds like Jordan is having a bad afternoon. I’ve gotten quite a bit done here. Do I need to come back to the house?”
“He’s…the baby seat just moved, and we’re a little freaked out. Yes! Please come…I don’t know. Would you mind coming back for a few minutes?”
“I’m on the way. Let me shut this saw down and get the cords inside. I’ll be there in two minutes.”
“Okay,” I said as I breathed a sigh of relief. I took a still-crying Jordan out the back door and paced as I waited for Jesse on the porch. “It’s okay, Jordie. It’s okay. I didn’t mean to scare you.” His lips crinkled up, and he had big glassy tears in his eyes. I kissed his forehead and got a good whiff of him. “No wonder you’re crying,” I said, smiling at him like there was nothing wrong. “You smell. You’re a smelly little booger.” His tears dried up soon, but I would certainly have to tidy him up before his nap. By the time Jesse got back to Summerleigh, Jordan was fussy but not crying. The truck rolled to a stop, and I just blurted it all out. Jesse hurried inside with me to take a look at the carrier.
“You aren’t hurt, are you? How’s Jordan? Oh, never mind. I can smell him a mile away.”
“Yes, he’s about to get a nap, but look at this. The carrier was here right next to me at the sink, and then I…I heard it move. You know, like a sliding sound. When I went to check it out, the thing moved like six feet.”
“You’re kidding.” Jesse took off his tool belt and laid it on the nearby table. He checked out the floor, but there wasn’t any evidence that the carrier had been dragged or moved. “I can’t see how that could happen.”
“Nevertheless, it did,” I said as I shifted the baby to my other arm. He weighed a ton, and he wasn’t happy with me at all.
“Could you have been mistaken? Bumped it, maybe?”
“I swear it happened just like I said. I was nowhere near it. I could see him right there, just a few feet away.”
Jesse rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Maybe you splashed some water on the floor?”
“Really, Sherlock? When I looked back, he was a few feet over. Then the carrier moved again, right in front of me. I mean, I was looking directly at the dang thing.”
Jesse shook his head, and sawdust from his hair floated around him. “I’m not doubting you, Jerica. I believe it happened. I’m just looking at all the possibilities as to why it happened. The floor looks level. How long did this last?”
What a dumb, unimportant question.
I was quickly losing my temper. “I don’t know. A few seconds. Long enough for me to be freaked out over it, and Jordan…” The baby started crying again, and who could blame him? He had a smelly diaper and parents who were on the verge of having a serious argument. “You know what? I’ll just go change our son while you play Nancy Drew. Say what you want, I saw the damn thing move.”
“I never doubted you. Why are you so hostile?”
I raised my hand to let him know I wasn’t in the mood for his theories. “Never mind. Thanks for nothing,” I said as I stormed out of the kitchen, through the parlor and up the stairs. Imagine not believing me. What a jerk. What a complete… As I climbed each step, I felt my anger waning. By the time I made it to the landing, I was wondering what just happened. Just a few seconds ago, I wanted to pinch my husband’s head off. Now I was wishing he were up here with me.
But I knew for a fact that baby carrier moved.
“I’m not sure what happened, Jordan, but I’m going to stay with you. I promise. I’m not going to take my eyes off you.” True to my word, I kept my eyes on him the whole time while I changed his diaper and struggled with him to change his t-shirt. He had his lunch all over his shirt. Darn it, I had stomped off without bringing his bottle with me, and he was going to need it. Jordan Clarke was a bottle baby, for sure.
Jesse must have read my mind because he appeared with the bottle and the baby carrier. I shook my head. “I don’t want that in here if you don’t mind.” He shrugged and put the carrier in the hallway. Jordan saw his dad and reached his chubby hand out for him. His eyes were getting redder by the second.
“You’re down for the count now, aren’t you, buddy?” Jesse came up behind me and put his arms around my waist. The baby smiled and then closed his eyes and drank his sleepy self into a stupor. “I’m sorry, Jerica. I really don’t doubt you. I thought I was comforting you.”
“No, I’m sorry. I flew off the handle for no reason.”
Jesse kissed my neck. “I should have stayed home today and helped out. You didn’t sleep well last night, or the night before that. You’re probably exhausted.” He kissed my cheek now, but I artfully removed myself from his arms. I knew where this was going, and I wasn’t quite ready to get cozy. Our son’s baby carrier just slid across the room.
“You think I hallucinated the carrier moving because I was tired?” I shook my head but remembered to keep my voice down so as not to wake up the baby.
“No, I’m not talking about the carrier. I’m talking about you. Let me put him down for his nap, and you go do something just for you. Take a hot shower, read a book. I’m done for the day.” He slid his arms under the baby, and I gave him up without a struggle. My back was killing me now.
“I want Hannah to come, Jesse. To Summerleigh. I need her to see if there’s anything here. Can you call Renee? Hannah’s cell phone isn’t working, or the number’s been changed…or something,” I said, embarrassed by my confession. Yes, I had called Hannah. She was an amazing and gifted sensitive. If anyone could figure out what was here at Summerleigh, it would be her.
“If it makes you happy, I’ll do it, but I think you might be jumping the gun a little,” he said as he put the baby in his crib.
That hot shower idea sounded terrific, and I wasn’t in the mood to argue anymore. But I wasn’t changing my mind on this either. “Maybe so, but better to be safe than sorry. Right?”
I could see his shoulders sag a little as he nodded. I’d won this battle, but I didn’t feel good about it. Who would? I thought all the Belles would be at rest. I thought they would be settled and resting in peace. Who else would be here? A member of the McIntyre family? I didn’t believe that, not after finding that threat carved in the desk.
You’re mine, Loxley.
I walked down the hall and popped into
my bedroom to grab my robe. I let the shower get nice and steamy before stepping in. Gosh, my back ached. What had I done to myself? Just as I was beginning to shed my clothes, I froze. In the foggy mirror, I saw a face. A familiar face. Not the girl with the braids, but she had the same eyes. Those same I-can-see-things-you-can’t, faraway eyes.
I was looking at the face of Loxley Belle.
Chapter Four—Loxley
We all looked like a bunch of black crows hovering around Momma’s graveside. None of us would have been stylish enough for Momma’s taste, except maybe Augustine Hogue, who’d remarkably lost quite a bit of weight in recent years and was as slim and fit as Momma ever had been. I felt sure that Momma would not like to have been one-upped at her own funeral. But then again, there had been no viewing of her. Did she even know we were here? Since that one time when I heard her crying at Aunt Dot’s, I hadn’t heard her again or seen her. And the place had been so busy. Suddenly, we had plenty of friends who came to mourn with us. There had been no time to slip away and make the drive to Summerleigh, although I was just as determined to go as I had been.
Reverend Bartlett did a masterful job of describing heaven and how we could all get there, but there was not even a hint of a promise that Ann Marie Belle had made it through the pearly gates.
Silly girl. You know Momma isn’t going to make it to heaven. You know that. Neither are you if you continue sneaking and stealing. You’re just a big ol’ sinner, Loxley Grace Belle. And that preacher knows it—everyone here knows it.
The voice in my head was my own, but I believed it. My hand patted inside the pocket of my fitted blazer. I could feel the pen, cold, hard evidence of my latest crime. I couldn’t help myself. The pen was black and shiny and had a feather on the cap. I’d had to take the cap off to fit the pen in my pocket. I was sure it was leaking ink inside my jacket, but that hadn’t stopped me from taking it. It was quite fancy and nothing like anything I owned. It was only a memento, nothing terribly expensive like a charm bracelet. This was just something to remember Momma by, and it was not like I had planned to take anything. The minister glanced at me as he paused to catch his breath. No doubt he’d yammer on for a while longer. He had a captive audience here at the First Baptist Church of Desire’s cemetery. The seat beside me was empty; that was Addison’s spot. Wouldn’t you know the morning we buried Momma, Addison decided to go have that baby? What a terrible day to be born. To be born on the day of your grandmother’s funeral…that child was sure to be as haunted as me.
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