by Rena Janssen
Chapter 5
Granger finally found sleep without the pills the doctor prescribed but the morning came in too fast. He was groggy and cranky when he awoke to the sounds of a cheerful nurse humming. He grumbled.
“Good morning, Mr. Smith. I hope you slept well. It is supposed to be a beautiful day as long as the storm holds off until tomorrow like the weatherman said. I am Francine your nurse for this morning. I have to check your stats really quick and grab your breakfast. I hope you like eggs and bacon.” Francine kept talking in her songlike voice not noticing Granger’s frown. He was tired and wanted this hospital stay to be over. He couldn’t really fault the nurse for her cheerfulness. He could see the sunrise over the sand and it was beautiful. It wasn’t her fault that his life had been upended but misery loves company. It was going to be a long day.
“What time is it? Granger growled.
“Why, it is six thirty this beautiful morning. Your breakfast will be served in a few. I am about finished up here and will be back with a tray. Is there anything else you need?”
“A reset button…” Granger mumbled.
“Excuse me?”
Granger shook his head at the smiling nurse. She was a sweet woman and the name Francine fit her well considering she was an older lady with her white hair in a bun and scrubs with colorful characters on it as if she were a pediatric nurse instead. “Thank you Ms. Francine. I apologize for my rudeness.”
“Not a problem Mr. Smith, I am usually on the upper floors in pediatrics but was asked personally by Ms. Carly to care for you this morning. You are in a hospital after all and hospitals and happy go lucky don’t really mix well.” She laughed a full belly laugh actually leaning over as if she were the funniest woman in the world and was still giggling as she went out the door.
Granger couldn’t help but to smile. Her laughter had lightening his mood. He wondered at what she had said. Carly cared about his well being. A little late for that don’t ya think Carly? He thought to himself. If you truly cared you wouldn’t have taken off like you did.
Granger started snarling again when Francine walked back in carrying his tray. As hospitals go, there had to be a universal rule that all food was horrible. However; the smells that were coming from that covered tray were incredible. When she lifted the cover with a “Waa Laa!” the most amusing dish of scrambled eggs, bacon, biscuits with a side of gravy was arranged on his plate looking like a face smiling at him. He couldn’t help but to smile.
“There ya go. A smile can lighten any load, even if for a small amount of time. I was told you like your coffee black and here is an orange juice for an extra boost. Enjoy!” With that, the happy Francine was out the door leaving a smiling Granger to his breakfast.
“She must have been a pistol when she was younger.”
“From what I hear she was.” Carly said as she entered the room with two cups of what appeared to be coffee, handing one to Granger and pointing to the cup of coffee on the tray. “You might not want to drink that. Francine is wonderful at what she does and the breakfast is wonderful but the coffee is worse than terrible.”
“Thanks.” Was all he could say to her.
“I will wait here as you eat then you can ask all the questions you want. I talked to Dr. Colton and he agreed that if the conversation got you upset, then here was the best place to do it.”
Granger took a deep breath staring her down. His appetite was almost nonexistent once she walked in no matter the heavenly smell but he went ahead and forced himself to eat because he noticed she was not talking until he did he knew that she was stubborn when she had her mind set. The breakfast was delicious and he ended up eating it all.
Carly sat there sipping her coffee just watching him. He actually felt the urge to squirm under her gaze. She was grinning a bit when he sat down his fork and she picked up the tray and took it into the hall to hand to someone. “I am ready anytime you are.”
Granger stared her down. All the questions he had in his head fled with those words. His mind was blank, so he just grunted, which made Carly smile.
“I know you have a few questions so go ahead and give it to me. I’m ready.”
Granger closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Why? Why would you keep her from me? You of all people know how much I wanted a child. You know I would have been here to help you. Just answer me this Carly, what makes you think that I would not have come and helped you? I love…loved you.”
Carly turned her sad eyes to him. “I sent you letter after letter, even emailed you. I tried calling but received no answer and left messages with my number on your phone. You are the one who sent every letter back. The last letter I sent you was an invitation to Allison’s birthday party. She was asking about you and I told her. I didn’t hold anything back. She has known about you from birth. She knows your face through pictures.” Carly paused taking a breath because tears were on the verge of spilling. “I never thought you would want to disown her until you finally wrote me back telling me as much. You broke my heart, Granger, but worst of all you broke her heart. She quit asking about you after you didn’t show up at her party.”
Grangers face started turning red. “What do you mean you wrote me? I never received a single letter, message, or invitation. You were the one who just up and left.”
“Granger, I was scared. I lost the two, three counting Alice, most important people in my life. You were hurting as much as I was and we were doing great until that night. Then that morning when I looked in the mirror… I just… felt terrified and didn’t want to see you hurt too. The people I love tend to get hurt and leave and I had no control over that so leaving was my way of getting some control back. I had to get my sanity back. I didn’t want you to get hurt. When I got here I found a job helping out at this very hospital and created a new life, a new beginning.”
“Did you not stop and think about what I wanted, needed even?” Granger asked.
“Of course!” Carly shook her head. “I couldn’t protect my husband or son; I didn’t think I could handle seeing you like that too. I couldn’t bury you too! When the morning sickness started and I found out I was pregnant, I knew that you would want to be part of our lives so I tried to contact you.”
“So you were being a coward.” Granger stated. “You were running because you couldn’t handle it. We could have worked through it. You could have come home and made me see the light. I still don’t understand. I have missed three years of Allison’s life. I didn’t get to feel her kick while you were pregnant. I didn’t get to see her first smiles or even walk or her first words or …” Granger rubbed a hand through his hair trying to get a hold of himself but the tears came. “I never seen or sent any letters, I never knew.”
With a tilt of her head, Carly looked at him. “You really didn’t know?”
He hated the way her voice was not only trembling but vulnerable look in her eyes. “No.”
Carly shook her head and reached down into a bag that Granger had not noticed until then. She handed him a stack of envelopes that had a rubber band around them. “Those are all the letters I sent you and you sent back. They are in order of how I sent them. I kept these as proof that I tried to contact you and proof to myself that you didn’t want us.”
Then she handed him an open letter that had apparently been folded and refolded many times. “What is this?” He asked.
“This is the letter I received from you around a little over six months ago. Read that one last that way it will help you see things from my perspective.” She rummaged through the bag once more and pulled out what looked to be a photo album and sat it on the table beside him.
“This is your copy of the scrap book that I have been keeping of Allie. It starts at my pregnancy all the way through this year. I was going to send it to you until I read that letter and every time I felt as if I wanted to contact you again, I would read it over and over and be reminded.” She said pointing to the offending folded letter and then handed him a car
d. “I will leave you to it then. If you have any more questions just call my cell number on that card.” She gave him a hard look as if trying to figure him out then turned and walked out of the room without a backward glance.
Granger just looked at the book without a word. She had thought of him. That was apparent, but he was unable to grasp what happened. This was the first time he had seen these letters and he was going to read them all starting now. He knew that the good doctor wouldn’t come in until after nine and Beth probably wouldn’t be here until after then also. He gave one last look at the scrapbook and slid the rubber band off the letters. No time like the present.
