by Sarah Morgan
She’d always been an independent person. So why did she feel the need to lean on someone for this trip?
She made a supreme effort to pull herself together. If seeing Ruth ended up being an upsetting experience then Kathleen would simply make an excuse. She’d drink a cup of Earl Grey, say how nice it had been to see Ruth, and then she’d check into a hotel with a view of the ocean and pretend she was at home.
Having decided that, she wanted to get it over with. “Are you sure we’re going the right way?” She clutched the back of Martha’s seat, the other hand securing the hat she was wearing to protect herself from the California sunshine.
She’d agreed they should ride with the top down for this last section of the trip together.
It should have been relaxing, but how could she relax knowing that she was about to see Ruth after so many years?
“Yes.” Josh checked the navigation. “You need to make a left up ahead, Martha. And then pull over and wait.”
Wait for what?
“Turns no longer scare me, although I will never love a roundabout.” Martha glanced in the mirror. “Are you all right, Kathleen?”
“No.” Panic got the better of her. “I think this is a dreadful mistake. One should never revisit the past. Don’t make a left. Head straight down the coast.” She saw Martha glance at Josh.
“Kathleen—”
“If you’re about to reason with me then don’t waste your breath. I know what I want.”
Martha pulled over, swerving into a parking space in a manner so decisive that Kathleen was forced to shoot out a hand to steady herself.
“I thought your driving was vastly improved, but it seems I was premature in my assessment. I have no idea why you’re stopping. We should keep going, moving forward.”
Martha unclipped her seat belt and turned. “We’re visiting Ruth. She’s expecting us. But we’re going to wait here for a few minutes.”
“For what? You work for me, Martha. I decide on the itinerary.”
Martha reached between the seats and touched Kathleen’s knee. “This must be very scary—”
“Don’t soothe me, Martha. It’s patronizing.”
“I’m being a friend. Just as you’ve been a friend to me on this journey.”
Kathleen felt her eyes sting. Sand, of course. They’d spent too long near the beach. “Nonsense.”
“If it hadn’t been for you I wouldn’t have met Josh. I was so busy protecting myself I would have missed out on all the fun we’ve had.” Martha’s eyes twinkled. “Not to mention the best sex of my life.”
Josh cleared his throat and slid down in his seat. “Is this really—”
“Yes, it is.” Martha ignored his discomfort. “We’ve all done things that felt tough on this journey. I picked up a hitchhiker and deleted Steven’s number from my phone—”
“And about time,” Kathleen muttered.
“Josh went rafting—”
Josh pulled a face. “Not sure I want to relive that.”
Kathleen sighed. “Since when did this become a competition?”
“It’s not about competition. It’s about the support of friends. And you won’t be on your own today. We’ve got your back, Kathleen.”
She felt a strange pressure build in her chest. “You are nowhere near my back. You young people are so careless with language.”
“I know you’re scared of seeing Ruth,” Martha said. “You’re scared of feeling things you think you can’t handle, but you can handle them, Kathleen. You’ve handled so much already. And if you don’t do this, you might regret it.”
“I will not. I make a point of never looking back.”
“But this isn’t looking back. It’s looking forward. You and Ruth will be building something new.”
“I’m eighty. It’s a little late to be building something new.”
Martha raised her eyebrows. “This from someone who drove two thousand four hundred miles across America? If it’s not too late for that type of adventure, how can it be too late to call on a friend?”
“She’s a stranger, Martha. I haven’t seen her for almost sixty years so don’t romanticize the relationship.”
“You had a deep and special friendship. That kind of bond doesn’t go away.”
“Your generation are so emotional.” Kathleen fiddled with the strap of her bag, kneading it, twisting it. “Fine, let’s do it. It will be a disaster, and then I will take great pleasure in firing you.”
Martha smiled. “If it goes badly, you’ll need me as the getaway driver.”
“If I’m relying on your driving skills to escape then we’re all doomed.” What should she do? Martha was right, of course. She was terrified. Seeing Ruth could rip open everything. “In case we have a major falling out, I should probably give you this now.” She leaned down and retrieved the parcel she’d tucked into the car a few days earlier. “It’s a thank-you.”
“A thank-you for what?”
“For not singing even when you were bursting to do so. For humoring a cantankerous old lady on the trip of a lifetime. For being the best company. And for smiling even when you were terrified.” She saw Martha’s eyes fill and waved a hand. “No! No crying.”
Martha brushed her hand over her eyes and opened the box Kathleen had handed her.
“Oh Kathleen—” She lifted the teapot out of the box and stared at it in wonder. “It’s perfect. Where did you find this?”
“I am fortunate in having well-connected friends who can make things happen.” She sent silent thanks to Liza who had sourced it, and Finn who had navigated the astonishing complexities of transportation.
“Red cherries.” Martha sounded choked. “It’s exactly like the one Nanna had.”
“Your grandmother would be proud of you, Martha.”
“I’ll treasure it. I’m never going to use it.”
“That would be a pity. A teapot is designed to hold tea, just as a human being is designed to live life no matter how hard it seems at times.” She felt her voice waver, and knew that Martha heard it too. Kathleen saw her glance at Josh.
“Could you go for a walk? We’re five minutes early, anyway.”
“Early for what? We’re having tea, not watching the opera.” Kathleen’s fingers were white on the bag. The moment had come, and she couldn’t delay it any longer. “And why does Josh need to walk anywhere? Given that I’m already in possession of far too much detail regarding the extraordinary regeneration of your sex life, I can’t imagine any conversation that would require his absence.”
Martha turned back to her. “I know you’re anxious, but there really are only two outcomes here. One is that you no longer have any bond with Ruth, you find her boring and we leave after a very painful cup of tea.”
“Tea can’t be painful unless you spill it shortly after pouring.”
Martha ignored her. “Two, you bond as you did the first time you met and can’t stop talking. Then you have the best afternoon you’ve had in a while. That’s the one I vote for.”
“A third outcome is that the meeting rips open a part of my life I left in the past for good reason.”
“How can it?” Martha’s tone was gentle. “You’re not going to regret your decision, Kathleen. You wouldn’t want to turn the clock back, even if you could. You know that. Because of what happened, you had an amazing career.”
“You know how much I dislike the word amazing. It conveys nothing.”
“It conveys amazingness,” Martha continued unrepentant, “and your career was amazing.”
“It’s true,” Josh said. “It was.”
Martha nodded. “If you’d married Adam he would have driven you crazy.”
Kathleen wrinkled her nose. “Crazy is another word I dislike. Could we aim for more descriptive language? Have I taught you nothing over the past few weeks?
”
“You’ve taught me persistence.” Martha leaned forward. “If you’d stayed together, you would have wanted to kill Adam. Think about those articles we read. I’m sure he was very eminent, but he probably had an overinflated ego. Maybe he wouldn’t have liked you being a big star. Maybe you wouldn’t have been able to travel the world. Maybe The Summer Seekers never would have happened.”
“I’m not sure there is evidence to support that.” Kathleen brushed nonexistent fluff from her skirt. “You could be right. I wouldn’t have described him as supportive when I expressed certain ambitions.”
“But Brian was. Wait a minute—” Martha grabbed her phone and fiddled for a moment before thrusting it in Kathleen’s face. “There’s Brian when you received that big award in London. Presenter of the Year or whatever it was called.”
Kathleen felt her eyes mist. Oh Brian. “I have no idea why you are showing me this.”
“Look at his face! What do you see? Pride. Joy. And so much love. I’d give anything for a man to look at me that way just once.”
“Perhaps if you wore something other than jeans—”
“We’re talking about you, Kathleen. And Brian, who you loved as much as he loved you. He was not second best. He wasn’t your consolation prize. Wasn’t that what you said to me when we pulled up at Devil’s Elbow? A good relationship doesn’t need a miracle. All it needs is the right person at the right time. Which is a whole lot harder than it sounds, actually, but that’s not relevant right now.”
“I used the word require, not need.”
“Same thing.”
“Actually it’s—”
“Kathleen!”
“Give me a moment.” Kathleen closed her eyes, and thought of Brian. His patience. His ability to always make her laugh. The way they’d argued about the best way to mark a place in the book. Their love of the sea. Their home. Their daughter.
He had, without doubt, been the best thing that had happened to her in her life. Better even than The Summer Seekers.
He’d been her biggest and best adventure.
Martha was right. She wouldn’t change a thing. She wouldn’t trade a day of her life, either when she was single or with her dear Brian, for more time with Adam.
Her throat ached. How she missed Brian. She missed his steadiness and the way he’d known her. There was no better gift in life than being known, and yet still loved.
And Brian had known and loved her.
She opened her eyes. “Tea then, but only tea. And we should have some kind of signal. In case I need moral support or a rapid exit, although I’m not sure I’m capable of making a rapid exit with my hips the way they are. You may need to throw me over your shoulder, Josh.” She saw Martha and Josh exchange glances again and gave a sigh of exasperation. “Now what?”
“You’ll have all the moral support you need, Kathleen.” Martha turned her head to look at the road.
A large car approached and glided to a halt in front of them.
“She’s here.” Josh stepped out of the car and so did Martha.
“Who is here?” But Kathleen was talking to herself. Before she could call after them and tell them that all this drama and subterfuge was frustrating, the door of the car was opening and a woman stepped out into the sunshine.
She looked exactly like Liza.
Kathleen felt something flutter in her chest. No. It couldn’t be. Liza was in France, with Sean and the girls.
But it was Liza. A different-looking Liza, whose shoulders were back and whose smile was sure and confident. Happy. Right here in California, wearing a dress that flipped around her legs. She was hugging Martha, and shaking hands with Josh, and then she walked quickly to the car and smiled down at Kathleen.
“Hello there, Summer Seeker! I have to admit I had my doubts about the car, but it suits you.”
Kathleen couldn’t find any words. She wanted to get out of the car, but in the end she didn’t need to because Liza slid into the passenger seat next to her, wincing as she tried to squeeze her legs into the limited space.
“You drove all the way across eight states with your legs cramped like this? It’s a wonder you can move.” She leaned forward and hugged Kathleen. “I hope you don’t mind me coming. I wanted to be with you for this part. I thought we could see Ruth together.”
Together. She wasn’t on her own. She had Liza.
She’d been so afraid of losing her independence, but she saw now that you could lean on someone and accept support without giving up any part of yourself. Accepting help didn’t make you weak, it made you human. Perhaps it was even a strength because it meant you could face things you might be unable to face alone.
Kathleen clung back, only vaguely aware of Josh and Martha getting back into the car. “Why aren’t you in France?”
“It’s a long story. Why don’t I tell you after we’ve had tea?”
“But what about Sean and the girls?”
“They’re here too.” Liza fastened her seat belt. “Last-minute change of plan. It probably won’t surprise you to learn that the news that we were coming to California, instead of France, was greeted with joy by the girls. They’re currently in our beachfront apartment—arranged at short notice thanks to Josh—planning a future that allows them to move here permanently. It might even be the boost Caitlin needed to focus on her studies. They can’t wait to see you, by the way. They’re cooking dinner for us all tonight.”
Kathleen was finding it hard to keep up. “Did you say that the twins are cooking dinner?”
“Don’t be scared.” Liza patted her leg. “Turns out that they’re better at it than past experience would suggest. I have a lot to tell you. But let’s get to Ruth’s now. No point in delaying a moment longer. How far is it?”
“Not far.” Josh glanced at the directions and told Martha to make a left. “It’s halfway down this road. Close to the beach. Adam can’t have done too badly if they bought a property here.”
Kathleen’s mind was spinning. She had so much to say, and she needed to say it now. “I can’t sell Oakwood, Liza.”
“You’re right. You can’t.”
“I know you think I’ll have an accident there, but—” She paused. “What did you say?”
“I said you can’t sell it. I don’t think you should and I’m sorry I ever suggested it. Stay, and if the time comes when you need help there, we’ll figure it out together.”
Kathleen eyed her daughter. “I won’t wear an alarm.”
“I know.” Liza smiled. “Or lift the rug, or stop using the stepladder. It’s your decision. Your life. Your adventure.”
She’d never seen Liza so relaxed. “I might stop using the stepladder.”
As Martha pulled up outside a set of large iron gates Kathleen felt nerves flutter again, but it was too late for second thoughts because Martha had already spoken into an intercom and the gates swung slowly open and there, standing at the head of the drive, supported by a woman who was presumably her daughter, was Ruth.
She hadn’t changed at all, Kathleen thought. Not one bit.
Martha parked and Josh was out of the car in a flash but it was Liza who helped Kathleen. Liza who took her arm and didn’t let go. Liza who was by her side as they walked the short distance to greet her old friend.
And it turned out that Kathleen needn’t have wasted time planning what to say, or being anxious about it, because Ruth hurried forward and wrapped her in a tight hug, and she realized that sometimes words weren’t needed and that touch could convey everything.
It was only when she heard Ruth sniff that she realized her cheeks were wet too.
She’d displayed more emotion during this one morning than she had in the lifetime that preceded it.
“I’m Martha—” Martha held out her hand to the woman with Ruth who greeted her warmly.
“I’m Ha
nnah. Ruth’s daughter. We spoke on the phone. And you must be Liza. Welcome. We’re so pleased you could join us.” She shook Liza’s hand. “Why don’t you all come in? We’ve made tea. We can sit on the deck in the shade.” She led them inside and finally Kathleen and Ruth released each other.
“Look at you!” Ruth brushed her damp cheeks with her fingers. “So glamorous. You haven’t changed one bit. It’s like having a movie star in my home. I want to hear all the details of your life. You must have so many stories. I watched every episode of The Summer Seekers.”
The possibility that Ruth knew about her career hadn’t crossed Kathleen’s mind. “How is that possible?”
“Adam tracked down the videos for me. They were in the wrong format but he managed to get them converted.”
It felt strange and a little uncomfortable imagining Adam and Ruth sitting together watching The Summer Seekers.
Ruth tucked her arm into Kathleen’s and led her into the house. “Come on in. I have Earl Grey and Hannah made homemade shortbread.”
Hannah.
Ruth’s daughter. Adam’s daughter.
And there was Liza, her own daughter, watching her closely, giving her reassuring smiles, and Kathleen realized that this trip hadn’t only brought her back to Ruth, it had brought her closer to her own daughter. They had so much to talk about, and time to do it.
Her epic road trip had delivered her so many new experiences, but none so satisfying as sitting here with her old friend and her daughter, sipping tea while they gazed across the Pacific Ocean. The past had finally found a comfortable place in the present and she felt utterly content with her life.
Maybe that had been the destination all along.
* * *
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The story of The Summer Seekers popped into my head a few years ago as I was driving the car on a weekend away. My first and biggest “thank-you” must therefore be to my family who patiently stopped all conversation when I yelled, “Nobody speak for a minute because I just had an idea and I need to think” and patiently complied when I said, “Please can someone write this down so I don’t forget it.” I was busy writing a different book at the time, so I filed the idea away in my brain where it grew and grew until finally I knew the time was right to tell the story. The fact that I’ve been waiting to write this book for a few years may be part of the reason I enjoyed the writing process so much.
