It took another two weeks to get there. During this time, his conversations with Chris extended. Chris helped him find women who suited Tristan’s tastes. Tristan shared about his brother, and Chris never asked any questions. It suited them, and a useful friendship began. When Chris called him to let him know, Emily was about to go inside the bar, Tristan was otherwise occupied with a woman at the bar. He quickly dumped her and went to sit at the bar to wait.
EB26392
Journal 1
The infamous dive bar where she met Tom was buzzing with activity. Emily watched the fashionable patrons walk into the dive bar as if it was a five-star resort. It felt empty. She saw the high heels, the thousand-dollar dresses, the fancy cars, and it meant nothing to her. It felt like a life she once dreamt of, but she couldn’t no longer remember. Maybe someone would recognize her if she walked in. She could go to jail and get what she deserved. A murder should face the electric chair or lethal injection.
It was not the first time she made herself walk to the place where she had lost so much. She made the pilgrimage of those three blocks from her warehouse to the bar every evening for two years. She stood across the street in the shadows and watched the people going in and out. She wondered if the bouncer recognized her. Tom’s disappearance was a mystery. No one knew what happened. There was no trace left of him, but the ashes left at his apartment. There was a chance the police blamed it on a fire. Emily did not stay around long enough to find out.
The same bouncer stood outside the door again. She watched him, and she saw the same perfect people. She then saw something that made her step out of the shadows for a moment. A man walked into the bar, looking so much like Tom, the air in her lungs contracted. The pain returned, burning her. She followed him. Emily was barely aware of what she was doing. She was just following the clean-shaven profile, the nose she knew, the blue eyes. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew it was not Tom. Tom would have never appeared in public with the flashy expensive suit. He never had the cockiness of this man. The man stepped into the bar, and Emily snapped out of the trance. She stood in the middle of the street, and the cars honked.
The bouncer signaled to her to approach him. She was sure he would call the police. She could hardly retreat. Emily finished crossing the street and approached the door she had avoided for two years.
“You look like you could use a good meal,” he said.
Emily wanted to run, but her feet did not move. She heard her own voice say, “I don’t want to be a bother. I am not dressed for this.”
He smiled, “You should see how some people dress these days. Most people will assume you are really important if I let you in dressed like…”
He looked at her, and she felt embarrassed. He held the door open, and even though her brain was screaming to stop, her feet walked into the bar. At the entrance, some people turned to stare, but it was not a welcoming stare. It was outright hostile, and some people laughed. She started to turn around when she saw him sitting at the bar. The man that looked like Tom turned to face her curiously. She stopped moving. His eyes were so different from Tom. This man’s eyes were mocking and cruel. He smiled at her, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. Those eyes studied her curiously for head to toe. Emily felt naked, even though she was hiding behind layers of used clothing. Her military jacket made any effort of femininity disappear. He stood up and pointed to a stool next to him. Her brain protested feebly, but her feet kept moving forward, propelled by the pain inside.
As she approached the bar, the conversation stopped, and all eyes turned towards her. This time she didn’t feel beautiful. She knew she didn’t fit in. Those perfect people were not her. She was not and would never be one of them. A normal life was beyond her. As if it was a superpower, all she saw was the gentle touch of a lover in one corner, the shinning lights reflected on a ring, the swaying of two people blending into one, and the laughter that filled a little bubble of perfection.
She couldn’t breathe and thought she would faint. She felt sick. The room began to spin, and for a moment, she didn’t know she had the strength to step back out of the room. She tried to continue forward towards the Tom lookalike. She wanted to run, and she was frozen, feeling her feet melted into the concrete floor.
She wanted everyone to see her so she could scream, “I killed him. I murdered Tom. Take me away. Kill me too.”
Her lips wouldn’t move. The staring eyes returned to their previous activities, and she became invisible. Her heart was hammering within her, and hands were burning. The pain of the missing skin and the sweat mixed into a perfect concoction. As she finally convinced her feet to move back towards the door, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned and saw him there. He had an air of Tom, but this wasn’t her Tom. The cruelty of his eyes scared her.
“Would you like a drink?” He asked.
“I don’t…” she was going to walk away as she said this, and then Emily looked at his mocking eyes and felt that whatever and whoever he was, she deserved it. She nodded.
She felt his hand on her back as he walked her towards the bar. It was only a couple seats away from where Tom sat before. She tried not to wince as she sat. He took hold of her hand.
“What the hell happened to you?” He asked.
She took her hand away from him. “Nothing,” she said.
“Tristan,” he said.
“Emily,” she answered.
“Nice to meet you, Emily,” he said. “I haven’t seen you here before.”
“It isn’t really my scene.”
“Really?” He laughed, looking at her clothes.
She tugged at her jacket, uncomfortably, and looked around to avoid the man’s eyes. She saw the perfect people with perfect faces, perfect clothes. She stood up.
“I better go.”
“You can’t leave now,” Tristan said.
“I can’t…” She didn’t wait for him to react and just stormed out. She heard his laughter as the air from outside hit her.
She kept walking blindly towards the metro station. She needed to be far away. Emily stepped into the darkened tunnel of the train station, and her body relaxed. She smelled the familiar smells of downtown Los Angeles. Pot, sweat, dirt, and an impressive lack of bathrooms. She stepped through the gate and sat on the floor, leaning back against the cold wall. She closed her eyes and listened to the arriving and departing trains. She knew she should get on one and just leave. Where would she go? It was late, and wouldn’t be welcomed anywhere. She was now just another statistic.
She was hungry. She didn’t have the money to eat but could set out something to beg for money. She had just invested some money on getting onto the platform in the first place. She stood up, halfheartedly, and got onto the next train. She sat down, looking out the window. Emily liked looking at the city fly by.
On the reflection, she saw a face she recognized. Tristan was sitting two rows back, looking at her. She turned to face him, and he smiled. She turned to look out the window again, ignoring him. He walked over and sat beside her.
“Are you following me?” She asked.
Tristan laughed, “What if I am?”
“That’s creepy,” Emily answered.
She went back, looking out the window ignoring him.
“I think you are hot,” he said.
She gave him a look that would have frozen anyone else. He matched her look and waited for her to flinch. She noticed the coldness in his expression again. He was smiling, but there was no warmth there. His eyes were calculating. Emily broke eye contact and looked out the window again.
“You look like you could use a good meal.”
She continued to ignore him.
“I am not a bad man.”
She turned to face him.
“I am not someone you want in your life,” she said. She stood up and walked to another side of the train. He followed.
“Just one meal. I promise I’ll leave you alone after.” Tristan smiled.
She wa
s hungry, so she nodded. Emily figured she was probably more dangerous than he was, and if he was that big of a jerk, then he deserved everything he got.
They were sitting across from each other at a noodle place. Emily was busy eating since she had not had this much food in years. Tristan was watching her eat.
“Why are you so hungry?” He asked.
“I hadn’t eaten today,” she answered.
“Where do you live?” he asked.
“Downtown.”
“Why did you go into the bar?” Tristan asked. She just shrugged and kept on eating. “I think you need a friend.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Come on. Stop being so prickly.” He said quietly.
Emily looked at him in silence for a long time. He smiled. It was tempting to follow those eyes. She wanted to find his coldness. Emily knew he didn’t have good intentions. He was pushy, completely disrespected everything she said, and he really didn’t care when she attempted to put distance. This was a dangerous man. She found the danger attractive. She wanted to feel pain more considerable than what filled her every living moment. Then she focused on his smile. It was so like Tom’s. She saw the burning flesh disappearing from that same smile and felt sick.
Emily stood up and ran out of the restaurant. After a few blocks, nausea subsided. She went back to the metro station to head back to her home. She didn’t want to be out in the world. Within half an hour, she was back in her little pile of blankets. She was busy drawing the nightmare man: bald, and eyes warm, sad, and endless. She stopped drawing. She put the papers away and closed her eyes wondering if she would be able to sleep at all.
She had the same nightmare. She saw Tom’s beautiful face burning away, and the empty sockets of his skull stare at her accusingly. She heard a scream and then felt someone shaking her. She realized the yelling was coming from her own throat. She opened her eyes and saw Tristan’s face looking down at her. She sat up and pushed away from him.
“What the hell are you doing here?” She asked.
“I came to help you,” he answered.
“I don’t need help,” she said. She stood up and began to collect her stuff.
He pulled her down into a crouch.
“You don’t want anyone to see you out the window,” Tristan whispered.
“Why?”
“I saw a policeman looking at you funny as you walked away from the restaurant, so I followed you. He did too. They have two police cars parked outside.” He said. “I don’t know what you did, but they are definitely looking for you. Come with me. I can get you out of here.”
“Maybe it is better if I turn myself in,” Emily said, standing up and looking out the window.
He pulled her away from the window and back towards the floor. “Are you crazy? Come on. I can hear them knocking on the door. I parked in the back of the building. I can get you out of here.”
She hesitated. Emily heard the knocking get louder, and suddenly she desperately wanted to get out of there. She wasn’t ready to give up yet. Tristan stood up and ran towards a stairway in the back. Emily followed blindly. They ran down the stairs and headed towards the back of the building. They were closing the back door as the front door slammed open. Different groups of homeless people were mumbling angrily as they woke. Emily followed Tristan to his expensive car. She wondered if this was the last she would see of anyone.
She didn’t have much of a choice. Oddly, she didn’t feel it was the end. Emily knew it was more dangerous to follow Tristan. She figured he had probably called the police himself, but again, she just thought she could take care of herself. As soon as she sat in the car, Tristan took off. They were out of downtown Los Angeles quickly. She was suddenly traveling through the eternal suburbs of highway 10. The lack of traffic of two in the morning, the glaring streetlights, and the city that went on forever felt out of a science fiction movie.
She turned back to see the lights of downtown fading in the distance. She turned back to face the front and stared out the windshield. A future filled with danger lay ahead of her. The adrenaline made the intense pain of her existence lessen. She was grateful. Whatever was coming was better than what she was leaving behind.
TJ56823
Journal 1
As he drove down the highway, Tristan couldn’t believe how easy this had been. He figured someone like that was hiding a giant secret. The only reason Emily chose to live as she did was that she was running from the law. The moment she heard about the police, she basically dived into his arms. Now they were on their way to make the delivery, and Geoffrey would pay. It was six figures for this woman. Tristan looked at her and felt she was overpriced.
“Where are we going?” She asked.
“To safety,” he said, turning on music and smiling.
“Does safety have a direction?”
“I have a friend who has a place in Palm Springs. We can hide out there for a bit. Then we can figure out how to get you out of whatever legal mess you are in. Do you want to tell me what this is about?” Tristan asked.
“No,” she said.
“Why did you stop in the middle of the street when you saw me entering the bar?” He asked.
“You reminded me of someone I once knew,” she said.
He sat in silence for a long time.
“What happened to him?” He asked.
“He died,” she whispered.
She turned away from him and closed her eyes. It was probably a good thing because the look Tristan gave her at that moment was of pure loathing. She was a man killer. This is perhaps why Geoffrey wanted her. Geoffrey was one of those recluse guys who probably live in a bunker with six months’ worth of supplies. Tristan wondered Geoffrey’s age. He figured his employer was at most fifty. It could be that Emily did something that turned him into a hermit. Tristan felt almost pity for Emily. She was all sharp edges and fear. Whatever was coming, the girl probably didn’t deserve it. If she did kill some guy, then maybe she did. He thought of Tom. It was the one thing he tried to avoid doing at all costs, but somehow his brother’s face haunted him.
His brief encounter with morality disappeared. He took out his phone and texted Geoffrey. Within minutes, he texted back.
“Bring her here safely. I will meet you at the dry lake.”
Tristan looked at the sleeping Emily and shrugged. She wasn’t his problem.
Chapter 3
EB26392
Journal 1
The movement of the car was soothing. When Emily opened her eyes, the world looked like the images of the moon's surface. Desert stretched out in every direction. Sunlight filled the car. The sky was deep blue, and the red-brown earth filled her vision. They left the highway. The vehicle traveled alone through a narrow two-lane road at an impressive speed. People didn't live out here. They could not have gone more than five hours. It felt odd that it was so close to Los Angeles, yet it felt so desolate. She even wondered if they left the country. She knew that they were miles away from Palm Springs.
“I thought we were heading to your friend’s house?” She asked.
“I called him during the night, and he didn’t feel comfortable helping. What an idiot. You have no idea how many times I have saved that man’s ass. But no matter, I know a great place to go camping. We can hide there a couple of days. By the time we return to Los Angeles, the police will have forgotten.” Tristan said.
She felt a moment of fear and then resignation. Emily figured this very creepy man would be dead by then, and there was nothing she could do about it. Maybe dying in the desert was the best thing that could happen to her. She was a monster. She couldn't live within society. Perhaps it was time for it to end.
“I like camping,” she said. “I used to go with my parents when I was a little girl.”
“If you have parents, why are you out here on your own?” He asked.
“Sometimes, it is necessary. I couldn’t stay anymore where I grew up. All the memories were much too hard.” She said.
/> “Sorry to hear that,” he said. “Family is important.”
"Do you have a family?"
"Me? Yes! Mom, Dad, and a brother. We are really close. A dog. Christmases around a tree, the whole thing." He replied.
“That’s nice.”
They sat in awkward silence. Tristan slowed the car down and turned into a dirt road. They continued in silence as they traveled further away from the highway. Emily looked at the distant mountains and thought they were beautiful. It was breathtaking. Maybe it was worth it. They came through the mountains into a dry lakebed. Tristan parked the car.
Tristan opened the trunk. It was fully prepared for a long hike. Emily was even more aware of how planned this was. She had already guessed his story. Tristan mentioned a brother. This was an act of revenge, and she welcomed it. Emily deserved everything coming her way because she destroyed an amazing man. Her mistake was to distrust her own knowledge of who she was. Sexuality was not an option. She wondered if she would fight back. Would she let Tristan kill her without trying to escape? Her fight for survival surprised her when she saw the police coming for her.
Dance of Life: The Belief Chronicles: Book One (Chronicles of a Planet's End) Page 2
