He didn’t even have to work for it. Never had. Since the first time, I’d offered myself to him.
God, I was dumb.
“Please don’t,” I whispered as his mouth lowered to mine. “If you want us to start over, then you have to give me time. I need to think. And if I decide that’s what I want to do, I don’t kiss on the first date, so that means I really don’t kiss before that date even happens.”
He smiled a huge grin and I started to rethink asking him not to kiss me. He let go of my hair and stepped back, but stayed close.
“You don’t kiss on the first date?”
“Nope.”
“How many dates do I need to take you on before I get your sweet mouth?”
“At least ten.”
“Two,” he countered.
“Five,” I returned.
“Deal. Five it is. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at six.” He kissed my forehead and walked out of the kitchen.
What the hell just happened?
“Carter? Wait.”
“See you tomorrow at six, Laney.”
The front door slammed shut and I stayed rooted in place, staring at the takeout bags and six pack of beer.
Seriously? What the hell happened?
* * *
“You busy?” I asked Mercy.
I was sitting on my couch in my mostly dark living room, the heels of my feet in the cushion, knees up and a bottle of beer in my hand.
“Never too busy for you. What’s up? How was your beach vacation?”
On an exhale I filled my sister-in-law in. Mercy was the only person other than Carter who’d known I was pregnant. She and I had bonded in a way that no one else in my life could understand. Not only had she been there when Derek Lowe had kidnapped me, she’d willingly given herself to him in an effort to save me. And he’d almost killed her.
She saved my life that horrible day—unfortunately before she’d killed him, he’d already killed my baby. When we were in the hospital and the loss was so overwhelming, I went to her and shared. I did it because I had to tell someone and she was the only person I could turn to.
“Wow,” she said when I was done.
“Wow doesn’t help, Mercy. What am I supposed to do?”
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to believe everything he’s saying. Do a happy dance. He’s finally offering me what I’ve always wanted. I want to ride off into the sunset with him and have my happily ever after.”
And that was the truth. I wanted to believe we could be together. But the last eight years of rejection were fresh. And I didn’t think I’d be able to put it behind me and trust him.
“You know, when Jason first told me about you and Carter, I thought he was an asshole. I think I even told your brother that you should kick him to the curb. You’re too beautiful, too sweet, too good to be waiting for a man to pull his head out of his ass. Then what happened with the baby. I’m sorry to bring it up, I’ve never lost what you have, but, honey, it was more than just you having a miscarriage.
“I felt it when you came into my room and held onto me. It was pouring out of you. And what I was feeling was Carter. How much you loved him, how much you needed him, and how much you loved that precious baby the two of you made. You and Carter—that’s what I felt.”
Damn, she was perceptive. She was right. That day when I was holding onto her like a lifeline I was grieving all things Carter.
“But he wasn’t there.”
“No, he wasn’t. But, Delaney, he wasn’t out fuckin’ about with his friends, leaving you to it. He was deployed. I started to understand in the hospital how much you loved him. When I saw him at Nick and Meadow’s house, and you didn’t see it because you were already out the door, all I saw was concern and love. Then when you bolted, confusion and hurt.” Mercy paused then went on. “That night after I got you sorted and went home, Carter was at my house talking to your brother. I was fully prepared to tell him to screw off. But I couldn’t. He was a mess and begging me to tell him what was wrong. Outside of Jason I’ve never seen a man look so devastated. I understood then how much he truly loved you and he was struggling. I don’t agree with what he’s done, being stupid and pushing you away. But, honey, I understand.”
“You never told me he was there,” I accused.
“No, I didn’t. And I’ve never told you I’ve heard Jason on the phone with him. When you won’t answer, he calls your brother to check on you.”
“But why now? How can I trust him?”
That was a huge issue for me. What if we started over and he pulled away again? I wouldn’t survive him leaving me. Not again.
“Can’t answer the why now,” she told me, then asked, “Why did your brother fight his feelings for me, then decide to be with me, then leave me and break my heart, only to want me back?”
“Not the same thing. Jason pulled his head out of his ass within weeks. Carter’s had eight years.”
And I wasn’t going to mention my brother’s head was screwed up after his first wife died of cancer. It wasn’t only Mercy he’d cut out—for two years he’d stayed locked in his head and refused to allow any of us to get close. Then he found Mercy, and she worked miracles and gave my brother something so special he’d come back to the living.
“You’re right; you and Carter have been dancing around this a long time. But when Jason came back, I had to trust him that he wouldn’t leave me again. Let me ask you this, do you wanna hold on to your fear or do you want to be happy?”
“I…um….”
“Tuesday asked me that same question. Then I returned the favor when she wouldn’t let Jackson in. Now I’m asking you. Think about it, will you regret not giving the two of you the chance to find happiness? In a year from now will you be lying in your bed wondering what if?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Then take the chance.”
“But—”
“No buts. Go slow, go smart, go with your heart. Just take the chance. He loves you, Delaney. I wouldn’t be giving you this advice if I didn’t know it.”
“I don’t think Carter wants to go slow and I don’t think I can,” I blurted out.
“I didn’t really think slow was an option. I’ve seen Carter.” She giggled. “Tuesday also told me if Jason hurt me again, she’d buy a pig farm in Montana and feed your brother to her swine. Just thinking out loud, Carter may be a little more difficult to take down, but I think we could do it.”
“Thanks,” I whispered.
It felt good to talk to Mercy. I had a lot of friends, most of them through work, none of them I could talk to about this. I loved my little sisters, but I hadn’t been honest with them about Carter over the years and they wouldn’t understand without a weeklong explanation about the last eight years.
“This is what friends do. What family does. I’m always here to listen,” she returned. “So you gonna go for it?”
“He’s picking me up tomorrow at six for our first date.”
My declaration was met with Mercy’s very loud laugh. It took her a minute to recover and while she was belting out her hilarity I sat back and smiled.
I still wasn’t a hundred percent sure about Carter’s crazy plan, but what I was sure about was, if I didn’t take the chance not only would I be lying awake in my bed one year from now, I’d regret it for the rest of my life.
11
Carter
“You got a minute?” Jasper asked, walking into my new office.
I’d spent most of my day learning the ins and outs of my dad and uncles’ consulting and security business. All four of them were pleased I’d come to work for Triple Canopy. Over the years they’d made a name for themselves and they had more business than they could handle.
Their consulting schedule alone was enough to keep them busy for the next year. Now that I was there, I’d be taking over most of the tactical training for Law Enforcement. Leaving the other two new hires to handle the private security side. I had no interes
t drawing up site plans and installing alarms. I’d also made it clear; I didn’t want to play babysitter and escort to their rich clients.
Brady, the man who’d rushed into a blazing fire to save Tuesday, would keep control of the personal protection operation. He’d proven himself in a big way to my family, therefore he’d earned more responsibility and a permanent place in the company. He was well-liked, and after meeting him, I, too, thought he was solid.
I glanced at my watch before answering, “Yeah. I’ve got about ten.”
Jasper closed the door, and took a seat across the desk from me. His long legs stretched out in front of him, ankles crossed. He looked relaxed, but I knew better. I’d seen him half a dozen times today, had sat in two meetings with him. He had something on his mind, and I had no doubt Delaney was front and center.
“Em said you were at Delaney’s last night. How’d that go?” he asked without delay.
Much like her daughter, Emily Walker was a spitfire. How she’d known I was at her daughter’s house last night was anyone’s guess. Maybe motherly intuition. Or maybe she, like everyone else, knew how much I adored Delaney and I was done fucking around. I didn’t know, and I didn’t much care, and I also hadn’t thought she’d keep that fact from my Uncle Jasper.
“She agreed to go out on a date,” I told him.
“A date?”
The look of shock was comical, because well, the state of play was amusing. Delaney and I had never dated, not once had I taken my girl out. Yet we’d been together for years.
“Yep.”
“And she agreed? That fast? I figured you’d be pledging your case for at least another month.”
“‘Agreed’ might be a stretch. I talked her around then left before she could retreat.”
Jasper’s jaw was tight. His eyes piercing. He had something to say and it was going to piss me off.
“Maybe you should—”
“Please know I say this with respect. I’ve struggled with my relationship with Delaney for years. Part of that struggle was about you and how the rest of the family would perceive our relationship. We were raised together. I’ve always thought of you and called you uncle, your wife my aunt, your son and other daughters my cousins. But never not once had I ever looked at Delaney as my extended family. It ate me up inside what everyone would think. That was the first excuse I told myself. Why I was holding back, when I knew she was it for me. I know you all saw it, saw me struggling loving someone but not allowing us to have what we both wanted.
“And I gave her everything I could. I admit, it wasn’t enough, she deserved more, and that ate me up, too. But I didn’t let her go. I’m not a father.”
Fuck, that hurt to say, knowing that I should’ve been.
Jasper winced and I continued, “I imagine if I was and the man who’d been jackin’ around my daughter was sitting in front of me, I’d tell him to stay the fuck away from her. Again, respect, but that isn’t going to happen. We’re starting over, moving forward, and not looking back. She’s mine, Jasper, and you damn well know it.”
Jasper’s face was still set in stone and he was studying me with a father’s critical eye. It pissed me off he was looking at me with scrutiny instead of trust. I shouldn’t have to explain myself to anyone but Delaney. But I’d fucked up, and now I was paying the price.
“I’ll give you one more thing,” I sighed. “I’ve never lied to your daughter and I’ve never made promises I couldn’t keep.”
“What kind of promises were those?” Jasper grunted.
“That I’d come home alive to her and our babies. I didn’t want to make your daughter a widow so I never promised her the life we both wanted. I never asked her to marry me, though I wanted her to be my wife. I never promised her a future because I didn’t know if I’d be around to give it to her. You of all people know what I was doing when I was deployed, so you know there was always a strong possibility I’d come home in a coffin.”
Jasper’s face remained a mask of pissed-off father giving me no indication what he was thinking.
“If I asked you to stand down and let Delaney move on, would you?”
“Fuck no.”
“Goddamn uncanny, always thought as you were growing up you were like your dad. Looked like him, behaved like him, hell, you talked just like him. If you were anyone else, I wouldn’t ask you to step away, I’d simply make it so you didn’t have a choice but to do as I wanted. You being the man I know you are, I’m giving you a month. After that, I won’t ask.”
I fought to keep my temper in check. Not only was Jasper Delaney’s dad, he was a man I admired.
“Think it might take more than a month.”
“Then you better work fast.”
“Have you met your daughter?” I asked sarcastically.
“As strong-willed as they come.” He smiled as if her stubborn attitude was a source of pride. “My girl has been hurting long enough. I’m giving you something I would not give someone else—a second chance.”
“I’m not giving her up.”
“Then I suggest you work fast.” Jasper stood and made his way to the door, opened it, and paused. “It took you less than twenty-four hours after going back to the beach to get her to go out on a date with you. What does that tell you? You said it yourself, Delaney is stubborn as they come and she holds a mean grudge. I’m sure you remember, one time she was pissed at Quinn and didn’t speak to her sister for six months. It was over a fuckin’ hair brush. So, I think you understand you asking her for a date and her accepting, however loosely it was accepted is huge.”
“It was over a curling iron,” I corrected.
“Right.” Jasper chuckled. “Now all you have to worry about is if Delaney will actually be home when you go to pick her up.”
With that parting shot Jasper closed the door behind him.
Fuck.
I checked my watch and I had just enough time to go back to my hotel room and change before going to pick up Delaney.
I closed the lid to my laptop, grabbed my phone and keys, and shoved back from my desk.
Thirty days? Was Jasper crazy? It was going to take an act of God to get her to forgive me and agree to move forward. I wasn’t stupid enough to think just because I was going to pick her up for our first date, she’d actually softened any. It would take a lot more convincing on my part and probably no small amount of pleading, too.
I pulled in front of the Travel Suites thinking this place was a step up from the shitbag motel I’d stayed in a few days ago, but it was still crap. I’d declined my parents’ offer to move back in with them, and my brother’s invitation to stay at his place as well.
I had a home.
One I shared with Delaney.
And until she allowed me back into our bed, I’d be sleeping on a lumpy mattress in a cold and lonely motel room.
12
Delaney
I should’ve bolted. Instead I was staring at myself in my bathroom mirror wondering why I hadn’t fled.
I was doing this because I was dressed and ready for my date.
With Carter.
This was so stupid but every time I’d thought about ditching Carter I heard my mom. When two people are destined to be together and share the love that you two have, there is no getting over the other person. Then I’d hear Mercy. Do you wanna hold on to your fear or do you want to be happy?
I wanted to be happy. And I wanted that happy to include Carter, but that didn’t mean letting go of some of the fear so I could make that happen would be easy. And then there was the guilt. Would he ever forgive me for being stupid and poking around in a drug case that both Mercy and Jason had told me to stay out of?
Not only had I not stayed out of it, I’d followed Derek to a storage unit, trying to be a super sleuth, got caught, then I’d been forced to accept his invitation to dinner so I didn’t blow my brother’s case. Jason had been pissed, rightfully so, but he’d been off the charts mad at me that night.
And even afte
r all of that, getting caught by Derek when I’d been following him, forced to sit across from a man who was suspected of using teenagers as drug dealers I’d been stupid enough not to be extra careful. I’d gone about my life not caring about my safety.
And I paid a hefty price. Carter did, too.
How could he ever forgive me for that?
The doorbell rang but I was frozen in place. Doubt crept in and I started making excuses why I wasn’t going to go out with Carter. And I had a lot of them. Thousands of excuses why this was stupid but only one real reason. And that was fear.
Fear he’d hurt me.
Fear he’d leave me.
Fear that after all of this time, he’d figure out that maybe I was just comfortable but not who he wanted.
“Laney baby?”
Damn.
“I need to change my locks,” I grumbled.
“Wouldn’t matter if you do. I’ll just pick it,” Carter returned.
I lifted my head and opened my eyes but kept my hands planted on the vanity. My gaze met his reflection in the mirror and I was happy I had something to keep me upright. He was wearing a black button-up shirt that complemented his skin tone, and brought out the green in his eyes. The pair of khaki chinos fit snug but they weren’t too tight and I knew from experience the view from behind would be awesome. Carter Lenox had a great ass.
“You know how to pick a lock?” I asked.
“I do,” he confirmed.
His features turned thoughtful and I wasn’t sure why. I was still stuck on my newly gained knowledge.
“Can you hotwire a car?”
“Yep.”
“Do you know CPR?”
“After I finished BUD/s I had a twenty-seven-week combat medic course. So, yes, I know CPR.” I had no idea he’d done that. “Why are you frowning?”
Adoring Delaney: The Next Generation Page 8
