I find myself wanting to make him happy, like I am sometimes.
An idea comes to me then. A pretty awesome one, too.
“Well, maybe you can give it a name without him knowing,” I suggest. “Like how I named my cat Cat.”
He gives me a funny look. “You think I should name my raven Raven?” he questions. “Like, after you?”
I give an innocent shrug, pretending like that just occurred to me. “Well, you really don’t have to name it after me. It could just be a weird coincidence that we have the same name.”
He sinks into silence again, giving me a suspicious look. But then the look fades. “I’ll think about it.”
I nod, smiling to myself. For a crazy second, he looks as if he’s smiling, too. But the look swiftly erases and fills with panic as an intercom inside the room clicks on.
“Kid, stop fucking around and do what you’re supposed to,” a male’s voice floats from the speaker.
Kid swallows hard. “I’m sorry,” he whispers then steps toward me.
My heart rate quickens, and I’m not sure why. Then he touches my arm, and I hear the flap of wings—
My eyelids snap open as I’m tugged from the memory. At first, I can’t figure out what jolted me from it, my mind clogged with disorientation. Then I feel a gust of cold air hit my cheeks, and I’m suddenly wide awake. Although, I kind of wish I wasn’t.
“Please, please let me be dreaming,” I mumble as I gape down at the thin, metal beam I’m standing on that extends across a river. “What the hell?” I glance around and stiffen.
I’m on a bridge.
And someone is standing behind me, holding my hands behind my back.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“Let me go.” I jerk my hands, but the person only tightens their grip.
“You’re feisty, aren’t you? I’m not surprised,” a guy whispers in my ear.
It’s the same guy who shoved the pill down my throat, and I think he’s about to shove me off the bridge. And maybe that wouldn’t be so awful, since the water looks deep enough for me to handle the fall without hitting the bottom. The only problem is … “I can’t swim,” I sputter, my legs beginning to tremble. And I hate it. Hate that I look weak. Hate that I have a weakness at all.
“Hurry up!” someone shouts. “It’s freezing out here!”
“I think I saw a car coming!” a girl shouts. “Hurry up before we get caught!”
Great, not only is this guy trying to kill me, but I have an audience.
The guy holding me hesitates. “She says she can’t swim!” he shouts at them.
“She’s lying!” the girl yells back. “Who doesn’t know how to swim by the time they’re seventeen years old?”
“She’s the one who’s lying,” I whisper, a shiver rolling through me as the cold air seeps into my skin. “Please don’t do this. If I go into that water … I won’t be able to get out. Please don’t do this—”
He clutches onto my neck so tightly I can’t breathe. “Shut the hell up. You don’t get a say in this. You’re just a pawn.”
I freak the hell out and start to wiggle around in an attempt to escape, but he only tightens his grip. Well, for a split-second. And then he lets go … and shoves me forward.
I fall. And fall. And fall.
I hear shouting, something about hurry and getting the hell out of here, that someone is running up the road. But then the words get stifled as I crash into the river, my body instantly locking up as I sink.
Holy shit, the coldness takes my breath away. It also feels like a thousand needles are piercing my flesh. That pain is the easiest to handle, though. It’s kind of like the pain that comes when those words are carved into my flesh.
Freak.
Loser.
Murderer.
Freak.
Loser.
Murderer.
Freak.
Loser.
Murderer.
The girl who killed her parents.
And now I’m going to be the girl who killed her parents and paid for it when she sank to the bottom of a river and froze to death.
This is going to be my tomb.
But as soon as my feet touch the bottom, my instincts kick in, and I try to swim to the surface.
“Just kick your feet, Raven,” my dad tries to encourage as he stands in the pool with me, helping keep me afloat as he tries to teach me how to swim. “You can do this, sweetie. You can do anything if you put your mind to it. You’ve got to learn how to swim. If you don’t, you’ll be at risk.”
As the chill of the water burns my muscles, winding them into knots and making them useless, I start to sink again, darkness taking over. And I start to let it …
Blood on my hands.
“Hide, Raven,” my mom begs. “Hide and don’t come out. Do you understand?”
I frantically shake my head. “No. I can’t leave you.”
She grabs my shoulders and looks me in the eyes. “You have to. And you have to promise to forget what’s about to happen. Promise me.”
I shake my head again, tears burning my eyes. “No, I’m not going to. I’m staying with you. I’m not going to hurt—”
Arms wrap around me, and then I’m being pulled upward, toward the sky. I’m dead, and I’m going upward. But that can’t be right.
No, when I die, and if there is a heaven and a hell, I definitely won’t be going up.
You’ve got it wrong.
You’re going the wrong way.
I need to go back down—
I gasp as I break the surface of the water then cough as the air burns my lungs.
“I got you,” Jax breathes out as he holds me in his arms, swimming us over to the shore, the water rushing around us.
I want to answer him, want to ask him how he found me, but I’m chattering too hard to form any coherent words.
My eyelids start to lower as water drips down my face.
“Don’t go to sleep,” he says as he drags me onto the shore. “Whatever you do, keep your eyes open.”
My clothes are soaking wet. Everything feels heavy, even breathing.
“Willow, please just stay with me,” Jax begs as he swims us out of the water.
I give a feeble nod. Or, I think I do. My head feels so heavy.
Moments later, I’m being laid down. I peel my eyelids open and try to move, but my arms are useless lumps of frozen flesh. So, I just slump into the dirt.
Jax is muttering incoherently under his breath, panic taking over him as he stares down at me, water dripping from his face.
“What do I do?” he mutters as his gaze sweeps across mine.
Snowflakes start to drift from the cloudy sky.
“You were right … It did snow today,” I whisper, totally out of it as I reach up and brush my fingers along Jax’s lips.
Hunter’s gorgeous face appears in my vision, right beside Jax’s, his skin as pale as the snow. In fact, he looks sick.
“Holy shit,” he whispers. “We need to …” He chokes up as he crouches down beside me. “We need to get her somewhere warm.”
Jax just stares at me, seeming frozen in some sort of horror-induced trance.
“Jax!” Hunter snaps while picking me up. “We need to get her into the car before hypothermia kicks in. And you need to warm up, too.” Hunter stands up, holding me to him. A drop of warmth starts to seep into me as his body heat engulfs me, but the cold hastily takes over again.
Numb.
I feel numb.
I feel nothing.
Weightless.
And it’s kind of blissful.
Jax snaps out of his trance and stands up, too. Then they hurry … somewhere. I’m not sure where since everything is becoming blurry. And I’d ask, but my lips are too frozen.
“I’d call an ambulance, but with how slow they are, it’ll take probably half an hour before they get here,” Hunter says. “We can get her out of here quicker.”
“Why?” I whisper, my voice hoarse.
“Why what?” Hunter asks, glancing down in confusion.
“Why …? Why did Jax save me?” The question might sound simple, but deep down, I know it’s much more complicated than he probably realizes. That while I may be confused about why and how Jax was here to save me, I’m also a tiny bit disappointed that he did.
For a moment, I was ready for this hell of a life to be over.
Pity fills Hunter’s eyes as he stares down at me, as if he can see through the cracks in my mind, see the secrets hidden inside them.
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he quickens his pace.
I turn my head toward his chest and close my eyes.
He feels so warm …
I could drift away in it …
Drift away back to that peace I felt for a split-second as I sank …
“Raven, look at me,” Hunter says, yanking me out of my daze.
My eyes roll in my head as I try to do what he said.
Dizzy. Everything is spinning. But I’m starting to not feel cold anymore.
“Dammit, open your eyes,” he orders with a trace of anger in his tone. “I need you to open your eyes now.”
My eyes roll into the back of my head as I try to open them, to no avail.
“Dammit,” he curses, quickening his pace.
I continue fading in and out of consciousness until Hunter sets me down. That startles me enough that I force my eyelids open to see where I am … Lying on the back seat of Zay’s car, soaking wet and shivering.
“Are there any blankets in the trunk?” Jax’s voice floats from somewhere.
“Yeah,” Hunter says. “I’ll get them. You get in the car. You need to warm up, too, or you’re going to get hypothermia.”
A beat of silence skips by, and my eyelids slip close again.
“So, we’re gonna just what? Wrap her in blankets?” Zay asks. “Will that even work?”
A beat of silence ticks by.
“We … we have to take her clothes off first,” Jax finally says quietly and with a heavy amount of discomfort in his tone.
Again, it grows quiet, and panic manages to rise inside me, lacing with the cold.
Wait … They’re going to take my clothes off?
No, that can’t happen.
I try to flip over so I can crawl off the seat and out of the car. The door is open and the seat is shoved forward, so all I need to do is get that far. Then I can tumble out and … Well, I don’t really know where I’ll go from there. All I know is I’ve got to get out of here.
By some miracle, I get my body turned over. But as I’m dragging myself toward the edge of the seat, Zay steps up in front of the open door.
His hoodie is off and his short, brown hair is covered in snowflakes. His eyes widen when he sees me. I start to slide back on the seat to try to climb out the other side of the car. The movement seems to draw him out of his shock, and he moves, climbing into the back seat with me. Then he shuts the door and peels off his wet shirt.
I attempt to move, panic soaring through me. Holy hell, being frozen makes it really freakin’ complicated to move, so I barely get anywhere before Zay grabs the sleeve of my plaid shirt.
“I’m just going to help you,” he mutters as he sits me up and pulls me toward him with me putting up a fuss. He sighs, like I’m being a nuisance. “Raven, if we don’t get you undressed, you might freeze to death.”
I guess I kind of get what he’s saying, but if I take my clothes off, they’ll see …
All of my sins and secrets.
I try to push him away, but my limbs are so heavy I barely tap him.
He holds his hands in front of him then stares at me undecidedly. “You’re gonna have to chill while I do this. Don’t fight, or it’s going to complicate things.”
“N-no,” I chatter.
He sighs then slowly reaches for me. “I’m just trying to help.” He pauses then slowly starts taking off my plaid shirt. I lift my hand and push against his chest, but he merely removes my hand and yanks the soaked fabric off me, tossing it into the back. Then he reaches for the hem of my shirt and hoodie.
I try to fight back, but I can’t even get my eyes open. I feel him hesitate, his fingers lingering on the hems. In my mind, I fight back, but my body isn’t cooperating with my thoughts, and with shaky fingers, Zay tugs my shirt and hoodie over my head.
Oh my God, this is really going to happen … He’s going to see it.
I force my eyelids open and look up at Zay, silently pleading with him to stop. But he’s not looking at me. His gaze is locked on my side. I know what he’s looking at, and I hate it. Hate that he can see all the ugliness all over me. Hate that he can see me at all.
Blinking then shaking his head, he leans down and tugs off my boots. I slump back against the seat, my eyelids lowering as I veer toward passing out.
Zay works on peeling my tights off, then moves toward my shorts. That’s when I really begin to freak the hell out. His fingers are going to be right by my side, right where those words are carved.
“Stop … Stop … Stop …” I tip to the side, digging my fingernails into the edge of the seat, trying to pull myself away from him and toward the door.
“Goddammit,” Zay growls. “You’ve got to let me finish. It’s getting so bad you can barely keep your damn eyes open!”
I shake my head as I grab the door handle to the driver’s side door, but the door swings open on its own. Hunter appears on the other side with an armful of blankets, snowflakes falling around him. When he catches sight of me, he frowns, his gaze straying to Zay.
“Why don’t you have her clothes off already?” he asks. “You need to move more quickly, Zay. I mean, I know you have issues with this shit, but get over it.”
“I’m trying to take off her clothes,” Zay grumbles. “But she’s trying to get away from me. I don’t know what she’s thinking, but she clearly doesn’t realize the severity of the fucking situation.”
Hunter shakes his head then returns his gaze to me, his expression softening. “I know this is terrifying, but you’ve got to let us get your clothes off and warm you up before you get hypothermia.” He must see it, too, because he leans down, levels his gaze with mine, and cups my face between his hands. “No one’s going to hurt you, I promise.”
I want to argue more, but that’s when I just sort of give up. The cold is too much, And to be honest, I just want to go to sleep. So, I manage a nod.
Relaxing a smidgeon, he asks, “Can you get your shorts off on your own?”
I try to move my fingers toward the button, but I can even feel my fingertips. Grimacing, I shake my head.
Reluctantly, Hunter climbs into the car beside me and rolls me over, putting my head onto his lap. “I’m going to take them off, okay?”
He waits for me to nod then reaches to the hem of my shorts and undoes the button, carrying my gaze the entire time. I can barely feel the movement as Zay tugs my shorts down my legs.
Once those are off, Hunter reaches up and strokes my cheek. “This is going to be the hard part, okay? In order for you to get warm, you’re going to have to share body heat with me and Jax while Zay drives us back to the house.”
I shake my head and manage a, “Can’t …”
His gaze never wavers from mine. “I know it’s scary and uncomfortable, but it’s the best way to keep you from freezing to death.”
I don’t want to do it at all and part of me considers the idea of just letting myself freeze to death. But then my survival instincts kick in, and I nod. “O … kay.”
He exhales in relief then looks over my shoulder at I’m assuming Zay.
“Let me get my clothes off,” Jax says from behind me. “Here are some more blankets.
Apparently, while I was in and out of consciousness Zay and Jax switched places.
Hunter takes the blankets from him then strips off his shirt while I lean slumped against the back seat, barely able to keep my eyes open. Once Hunter removes his shirt, he unfolds a blanke
t.
“I’m going to lean you against me,” he explains, carrying my gaze. “And then Jax is going to lean against you. Then I’ll wrap us up in blankets.”
Even the little scraps of clothing I have left give me no sense of security. Even worse, Zay has climbed into the driver’s seat, so all three of them are in the car now.
This is so damn uncomfortable.
Zay cranks up the heat, flips on the windshield wipers, then casts a glance back at us. “Is everyone good for me to drive?”
“Yeah,” Hunter answers, reaching down to pick up the blankets.
Zay locks eyes with me briefly, and I swear I detect the slightest bit of worry. Then he looks away and drives forward.
Hunter reaches for me then, carefully wraps his arms around me, and pulls me forward until my chest is flush with his. I might manage to be embarrassed over the situation, but then his body heat seeps into my skin.
Warmth.
I thought I’d never feel it again.
Never thought I’d be this close to anyone ever again.
I’ve been so cold for the last handful of years …
“Wrap the blankets around us,” Jax whispers as he slips his arms around my waist and presses his bare chest against my back.
Unlike Hunter, he’s cold.
I shiver against him.
“Sorry,” he whispers, his lips brushing my ear. “For everything.”
His words don’t make much sense, but I can’t form any words to ask him what he means. I can feel his heart beating. Soaring. So, so fast. He’s either got a lot of adrenaline rushing through him or he’s freaking the hell out.
What would scare him, though?
Fabric touches my back and more warmth spills across me.
My eyelids lower as I breathe the feeling in, wanting to go to sleep.
“Just keep ahold of her until we get to the house,” Zay says. “Although, if her condition doesn’t improve, we may have to take her to a hospital.”
“She seems like she’s getting warmer already.” Hunter brushes his hands up and down my side. “Jax, are you doing okay?”
Jax presses closer against me and rests his head against my back. “Yeah,” he whispers. “Did you see who did this to her?”
“No,” Zay replies, annoyance ringing in his tone. “I tried to chase them down but couldn’t catch the fuckers before they jumped into their vehicle. They were all wearing masks, so I didn’t see any faces and the vehicle didn’t have a plate. All I know is that they drove a black SUV that looked like maybe it was a Cadillac, but I didn’t get close enough to be positive.”
The Rules of Being Friends (A Pact Between the Forgotten Series Book 2) Page 12
