But she heard me.
“Really?” she starts. “Is that what you tell my baby, Liam?”
I look up at her, shocked and confused. Why would I tell Liam that?
“Don’t pretend to be naïve now, you’re far smarter than that,” she says with a mocking scoff, her voice harder now as a sharp, cold smile adorns her beautiful face. “You’re a straight A student. You take AP classes that you walk through with ease. You’ve already been accepted to the best Ivy League colleges across the country, hell even elite schools abroad, so please, don’t dumb down your intelligence now. I promise I can keep up. I did go to school, too.”
How does she know so much about me?
“That’s good for you, women and girls have to be educated, but I still don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She tilts her head to the left, studying me for a long second that stretches into minutes. Maybe hours? I don’t know but I suddenly feel like I should run. RIGHT. NOW!
“Just as I’ve seen the way you look at Julian, I’ve seen the way my baby looks at you,” she starts and I gasp, seeing where she’s going. “He looks at you like you’re going to save him, like you’re the center of his existence.”
No… He doesn’t. Does he?
I open my mouth to deny everything she’s just said, but nothing comes out. My vision blurs and dims for a second and I start panicking. I just stopped breathing. Liam, sweet, funny, savage Liam… what do I do with this?
“He’s been out there all day, looking for you. He even demanded that his father get a P.I to track you down, like he’s lost his mind with worry,” she says, her voice hard. “What does that sound like to you, huh?”
“I don’t know what you’re getting at,” I stutter, looking down at my dirty shoes. “You’re obviously making shit up. Tell me, Courtney, are you high on xanny? Or is it oxy?”
“I last did oxy in high school so trust me, sweetheart, I’m sober as an overeager priest.” she asks.
Well then.
“That means, I don’t have a reason to lie here, Mia.”
“Then why are you…”
“Why am I hurting you with the truth you’ve been denying for weeks now?” she says, cutting me off. “It’s simple really. You’re in an impossible, daunting situation that I know will hurt you. And after everything my ex-husband has done, I imagine you’re filled with so much anger and pain right now. You need someone in your corner.”
In that moment, all I want to do is make myself small. Maybe then I’ll disappear. I start shaking and I know I must look pathetic in front of her. It didn’t take much for her to eviscerate me like I knew she would.
Courtney 1. This hurt, broke down bitch 0.
“I…” I start, but my voice is hoarse. “I have people in my corner.”
“Do you?” she questions. “Tell me, has your father tried to look for you after he gave up when you ran out at the police station?”
I pause, unable to answer that.
“Did he try to call you at all?” she goes on, unfolding her arms as she starts walking toward me. “Has Nathan tried being a decent father or do you suspect what I know?”
“I had my phone off…”
“It doesn’t matter, if he wanted to find you, he would have,” she says. “But then again, after last night, he probably hates you. Nathan isn’t the man you think he is.”
No! I’m his princess…
Then why did he just leave you?
I shake my head vehemently, refusing to believe for a second that my father hates me. He would never hate me, would he? He might have disappeared when I needed him the most, but he’s still my father.
“You’re wrong,” I seethe. “You’re just looking for ways to hurt me, but you’re wrong.”
“Maybe I am, Mia, but Nathan is just one side, what about that other?”
She means my mother and aunt.
“How do you sleep at night?” I whisper, looking up at her. “When you’re this ruthless, this cold…”
“You and I are the same, Mia, I see a lot of myself in you.”
“I would never destroy a teenager like this.”
“Destroy you? Mia, I’m trying to help you!” she says, throwing her hands in the air. “I’m the only one seriously concerned about you, in all facets of this mess. I want to help you sift the lies your conniving family feeds, not to mention my sons and how they used you. I want to help you see the bigger picture so you can start planning for your future.”
What?
“My story was ugly, cruel, and dark. Yours isn’t any better. I can help you navigate it all.”
“Did you also have a Wicked Witch of the West as part of your story?” I scoff, looking away from her.
She’s quiet for a second as if debating whether or not to divulge that part of herself.
“I did,” she whispers, then clears her throat as if she’s snapping out of it. “But for me, it was my mother.” I look up at her, trying to figure out what she means, but I know. I can see it on her face. “And right now, you’re about to find out that the villain in your story, is also your mother.”
“You’re lying,” I say but my voice lacks its usual conviction.
“Am I? It’s all smoke and mirrors but I think you should find that out all by your lonesome self.” Courtney says, then she moves out of the way, now leaning on the wall as if giving me way toward Nancy’s room. I look at her, feeling that vicious dread in my stomach, tightening my insides to the point of intense pain.
“Go ahead,” she says, nodding toward Nancy’s room with a solemn look on her face. “Maybe after this, you’ll want my help after all.”
Suddenly, the door toward Nancy’s room seems so far away, and now, I don’t know what to expect. Why should I trust Courtney’s word? Why is she doing this? Is there something she’ll get out of this other than satisfaction at her handiwork?
“What kind of game are you playing at?” I demand, watching her.
“The game where I back the only innocent victim in all this,” she says, looking so certain, yet her eyes are filled to the brim with pity. Pity for me, I realize.
“I’m not innocent,” I whisper, guilt slamming into me for the billionth time since my world came crushing down on me.
“You are and you know it,” Courtney says with a sigh. “You think John would go after your family because you talked to the tabloids? Seriously?”
“But Julian…”
“Is incredibly protective of his brothers,” she says. “If he pretended to be interested in you, I guarantee, it was to break you.”
Oh God.
It feels like she just took a spiral knife and twisted it inside, going deeper, breaking bones until she reaches the heaving thing in my chest, shredding it into pieces.
That’s the thing about suspicions. One way or the other, they get confirmed, bringing your worst nightmares to life.
“But Mia, focus,” Courtney says. “I assume you came here for Nancy, am I right?”
I stare at her, unable to say a word and she clarifies.
“I mean, why else would you come back to the devil’s playground after everything?” she says, her voice sounding faraway and ominous at the same time. “Go on. Go see her.”
With dread running through my now frozen veins like electricity, I slowly walk toward Nancy’s room, feeling like I’m walking over to my death. My mind rattles with a thousand and one scenarios of what I might find.
I glance back to look at Courtney, but she’s gone. It’s almost like she was never there. The faint trace of her perfume is the only tell that the Queen Devastation here was.
She planted her seeds and now, they’re about to spring up overnight and bash my head in.
Stilling myself, I reach for the doorknob to her room, the speech I’ve been rehearsing to myself now falling part like some cheap 1-ply toilet paper. With my heart in my throat, I twist the doorknob then silently step through the doorway.
The first thing that hits me is
the stench of death hovering in the room like an ominous cloud, ready to rain down hell down on us. A shiver of awareness and sadness aps through me when the septic smell of medicine stings my nostrils, reminding me once more that I don’t have long with the woman I believed to be my mother all my life.
She’s dying and I’ve been an unbearable, selfish little bitch lately as a good fuck you to everything she’s done for me in classic Mia Montague, Ice Queen fashion.
God, please let her forgive me.
I force myself to ignore the chaos in my mind as I slowly take a step in the door, then look up, ready to grovel my heart out, ready to say anything that will make her forgive me but before I can say anything, I freeze as disbelief then horror slam into me like a freight train.
I blink several times but the image is still there right in front of me.
Nancy… she’s lying in her comfortable hospital bed, her frail body now reduced to nothing more than a pile of bones, but that’s not what makes me gasp as something like a riot starts simmering slowly in the pit of my stomach.
There’s someone in bed with her.
They are not naked, no. Instead, he’s wearing one of his custom-tailored suit pants, with a black silk shirt, sans tie, the buttons at the collar are open, his sleeves are rolled up, I can see a tattoo peeking out on one of his left arm… the one that’s wrapped around my mother.
He’s peppering soft, sweet kisses all over her face like he more that adores my mother and the way she’s looking up at him, it’s a look she’s never given anyone before. Not even my father.
She’s looking at John Fitzgerald like he’s the love of her life.
What the fuck?
3
“What…” I stutter, looking at them in shock. “What are you doing?”
My voice comes out as nothing more than a broken whisper that I can’t control.
John practically jumps a few feet in the air the moment he hears my voice, but I don’t move at all. I can’t believe what I’m seeing, my jaw is slack as I blink slowly like I’m witnessing a bad accident.
Am I having some sort of a nightmare?
Did I just see Julian and Liam’s asshole of a father kissing my mother—I mean, my aunt? Was he just whispering inaudible sweet nothings in her ear?
“What are you doing in here?” I demand, staring at John in horror, shock moving through my system until I feel almost lethargic. My vision dims for a second, a low buzzing sound starts ringing from somewhere. What is this? It sounds like an alarm of some sort.
“Mia,” John starts, but I don’t really hear him as everything Courtney just said comes rushing back to me.
Oh God, of all the things I was expecting to find as soon as I opened this door… this wasn’t anywhere near the shit I was imagining.
“Oh my God, what were you doing just now?” I almost shriek, my heart thundering away in my chest.
I see Nancy slowly turn around with great effort to look at me, her eyes filled with horror when she sees me standing there, but I can’t peel my eyes off of John.
“Answer me!” I demand, my voice getting high-pitched.
“Mia,” John starts, but his voice is low and deep, his eyes filled with so much emotion that I refuse to identify. He glances at Nancy then back at me, opening and closing his mouth like he suddenly doesn’t know how to speak. “I know what it must look like to you.”
“What it must look like?” I screech, staring at him like I’ve never seen him before.
“I can explain,” he rushes to say but I take a step back, shaking my head. “I… I didn’t know you were back. The boys, your father, and Nicky are out of their minds looking for you.”
That’s his excuse?
“You don’t care about my father or Nicky,” I seethe. “Get away from her. Get away from her right now!”
John takes a step back from Nancy’s bed but doesn’t go away. Actually, he doesn’t look guilty at all that I caught him in bed with her. He just is.
He glances at Nancy with this look on his face, then he looks at me and it hits me like a freight train just slammed into me.
Nancy is the woman John is love with. She’s the other woman, the home wrecker… Oh God.
“We’re glad to see that you’re all right Mia, Nancy’s been so worried.”
We? Jesus, the man is even using plural pronouns.
My jaw almost drops to the floor. The audacity of this man…
“That’s what you’re going to say?”
Did Julian and Liam know about this all along? Was this part of their plan? God, what is their plan? How is this devastation part of hurting me? I think I’m going to be sick.
“I know this is shocking to you, but I can explain,” John says, and I start laughing.
The absurdity of this situation is so insane, I feel like I just stepped into an alternate universe.
I came here tonight to get Nancy out of this place, thinking that I caused all of this, that I’m the reason why my family has been under attack for such a long time, only to find this; the woman who raised me in bed looking cozy and in love with the man who single-handedly ended her ex-husband’s career. The man who left our family broke and almost homeless.
Is everyone in my life fucked up or am I just the common denominator that triggers this shit?
I sink down the wall, folding into myself like a wounded animal as I laugh—but it’s more like a howl of pain, but for sanity’s sake, let’s stick with laughter.
I laugh until tears start running down my cheeks.
I laugh until it feels like I’m being shredded in a million different pieces, my insides in knotting together, my back breaking in two.
I laugh until I can feel the hollowness inside. I laugh and laugh, all while staring at her… my fake mother, the woman who I’ve regarded with respect and admiration my entire life. Nancy.
She lies there, an oxygen mask covering her mouth and nose, but it’s her eyes, the same ones I came to rely on, the eyes that have kept me going these past few years, the eyes that I would be so relieved to see each morning after she’d go to bed with this distraught look, like she knew she might die during in her sleep; those same eyes stare at me now and for the first time in my life, I feel like I’m looking at a stranger.
“Mia…” John says, as the laugh dies down.
Courtney Mason-Fitzgerald is a genius. How to shatter Mia more than she is already? Let her see the ugly truth for herself.
“How could you?” I croak out, staring at her, my mother, my aunt, a woman I don’t know at all. I glance at John and see him glance down at his feet.
The fuck?
There’s nothing more pathetic than a wealthy, powerful man caught in bed with another woman, wearing only his suit sans the jacket and tie, his feet covered in his socks. His open neck shirt is wrinkled, like he’s been lying with Nancy for hours.
Bile rises up my throat.
“Dad was right, wasn’t he?” I say, my voice hoarse. “You did cheat on him.”
“I don’t think…” John starts, but I cut him off as bitterness and anger swirl in me, making one hell of a concoction.
“I’m not talking to you!” I snap at him.
If someone had slapped me hard across the cheek from nowhere, I wouldn’t be as shocked and horrified as I am now. John slowly moves away from my mother, watching me with caution.
I look at Nancy, then back at John. My brain feels like it’s short-circuiting as I stare at them, as more tears run down my cheeks.
“Uh,” John starts, then glances at Nancy. “I think it’s best if...”
“No,” I cry, cutting him off. I feel like I’m about to combust from all the pressure within me. “You’re nothing but a vile, evil man. Get out!”
“Mia—"
“Oh my God, get away from my mother!” I scream now, clawing at my chest as the pressure there starts building up.
“Mia, please calm down,” John says, his voice back to that rich, soothing and smooth baritone I firs
t heard when I first moved in.
“Calm down?” I cry, my eyes bulging out. “Who the hell are you to tell me to calm down?”
“Mmm…” Nancy croaks and I snap my head toward her only to see that she removed the ventilator. Her body is shaking slightly, the peace and tranquility that I walked in on now gone like it was never there.
Frozen in place, I look in her eyes and I see the warmth I’ve always known from her.
She looks at me, then at John, and I swear to God, her face brightens up like she just got a magical glow.
“Mia….” she croaks again, and I realize that her speech is even worse now and she’s straining herself to speak. “Co…mmme…he…re.”
“I think she needs some time with you,” John says, a sad smile on his face but he can’t look me in the eyes. “I’ll be in my office if you need me.”
If I need him? Is he out of his insane, sadistic mind?
I can’t even look at him as he passes me to leave, all I can do is just stare, unblinkingly, daring myself not to move because if I do… I have no idea what I’ll do.
My God, she looks horrible, like death warmed over.
I stand there, dead silent not knowing what to say.
John and Nancy?
What the hell is going on here?
Unease, distress, and betrayal grip me by the throat as I stare blankly at the woman I thought would be the most reliable out of the bunch, but this?
“What did you do?” I accuse, my voice a hot whisper as I stare at her pale, bony face, seeing her sunken eyes, death hovering over her, but I ignore that, too livid and in shock to stop being selfish and stupid.
Her hands start shaking, her gaze frantic as she looks at me and I know she can’t breathe properly, but I don’t care right now.
“Why was that man touching you like that?” I question, feeling sick to my stomach. “How long has this been going on?”
She doesn’t answer, of course she doesn’t. It took every ounce of her strength to say my name just now since she’s in the final stages of ALS.
Somewhere at the back of my mind I know that she’s not well, but rationality and compassion jumped out the window the moment I spoke to Courtney.
Cruel Kisses: It’s Just High School #2 Page 4
