by Kelly, Marie
“Don’t be so stupid. That could kill him!”
She laughed. “Aight, I’m out, boo. Call me as soon as you wake up and be careful.”
We hugged, and I walked her to the door. She handed me her bottle of pepper spray before disappearing out of my apartment. I quickly locked up, and then, as if I was walking to be executed, I slowly crept back to the living room.
I picked up the blankets I had taken out for him when we first arrived and headed over to him. Flapping the blanket open, I dropped it over his body. As it touched his skin, he opened his eyes again to look at me. He was so beautiful, and I found myself getting lost in his eyes.
He mumbled something that I couldn’t understand, and then his eyes closed again.
Making sure the blanket was set right on him, I headed to my bedroom to sleep, but not before I grabbed a kitchen knife. I was about to sleep with this shit under my pillow, and hopefully I wouldn’t need it!
Part III
Dior Alfred
I could hardly sleep through the night; I kept worrying about that guy and having visions of waking up only to find him dead. My night pretty much consisted of me going to check on him and poking him to see if he moved. Luckily, he groaned every time I did, and that made me calm down a little. But then another fear gripped me; what would happen when he did wake up? Would he remember me and want to kill me?
It was now a little after ten am, and I was waiting for Gia to come over. I wanted to take a shower, but I wasn’t about to do that with this strange man in my apartment. With my luck, he would catch me in the shower and probably kill my ass.
I felt like a creep sitting on the couch looking at him, but I couldn’t help it. He was even more handsome in the daylight and when he wasn’t threatening people! His perfect, chocolate face, his thick lips, perfectly shaped mustache and goatee. Even his hair was lined to perfection with his waves on show. He had tattoos covering one arm and one on the other.
I wondered why he was hurt. Seeing him now, he looked like he wouldn’t hurt anyone, but I knew looks were deceiving. He most definitely didn’t look like that on both of our encounters. Most killers didn’t look like killers and that’s what made them even scarier!
My buzzer went off, and I took a few more seconds to watch the way his chest moved when he breathed, and then I got up to answer the door.
“Hey, boo. You okay?” Gia asked and stepped inside.
“Yeah, he never woke up,” I said and walked into the living room with her right behind me.
“Girl, what the hell were you doing? Where’s his clothes?” she looked at me with an eyebrow raised, and I shook my head at her.
“Nothing! I just took them off. They were covered in his blood. I didn’t feel right letting him sleep in them,” I explained.
She kept her eyes on me like she didn’t believe me, and I waved her off.
“You’re tripping.”
Last night, I had removed his jeans and polo shirt, and put one of the new t-shirts I had bought James, on him.
“Girl, you could have taken his jewelry off.” She laughed.
“Hell nah. I didn’t want him waking up and think I robbed him or something!” I said, looking at his diamond ring, watch, and Cuban link. “Just watch him. Let me shower.”
I ran to my bedroom and pulled my clothes off. After I wrapped a towel around my body, I went into my bathroom. It was as if I was obsessed with this man because there I was in the shower, and he was all I could think about! I wish I could tell you why, but I didn’t have a damn clue!
“OH, MY GOD!” I suddenly heard Gia call out, and I panicked.
With soap suds still on my skin, I jumped out of the shower and threw on my robe. I didn’t even dry my skin.
I knew it! His ass woke up and started beating the hell out of Gia, I thought as I dashed out of the bathroom.
Passing the kitchen, I grabbed the first thing my eyes saw and ran over to Gia.
“What’s wrong?” I looked around, expecting him to be up or something, but he was still on the couch with his eyes closed.
Slapping Gia hard as hell on her arm, I mean mugged her.
“What the hell is wrong with you, Gia? I thought he woke up and started attacking you or something!” I yelled.
“Bitch, look at his got damn dick! Bitch, you ever seen anything like that?” her eyes were popped out of her head.
“Gia, for real?! You had me rushing out of the bathroom, slipping on the wood flooring and nearly busting my ass because you saw his dick?”
She rolled her eyes at me, grabbed my face, and turned it so I could face him.
“Just look!” she said, and then I finally saw what she was talking about.
This nigga’s dick was hard as a rock and laying on his damn stomach! That’s how fucking long it was. He had what I called morning wood, and I’d never seen anything like it.
He was still out cold and oblivious to what his man was doing, but damn if I couldn’t keep my eyes off of it.
“Is that even possible?” I asked, and Gia cracked up laughing.
“Gurrrlll, this nigga is part horse! See, I told you I should have used that horse tranquillizer.” She bent over laughing.
“His dick better go down before I forget myself and hop on top!” she said, and I snapped my head back to look at her, which made her laugh even more.
“Bitch, you wouldn’t!”
“Hell nah, I wouldn’t. That nigga’s dick is at least five-feet tall, and I’m only four foot nine. I don’t need that shit fucking up my insides and coming out of my mouth!” She laughed.
“Shit, you’re 5’7”. You do it.” She pushed me toward him, and I smacked her.
“You have problems, Gia. Stop watching the man’s dick.” I shook my head.
She looked in my hand and started laughing. “You grabbed a damn skillet?”
“Yeah. When I heard you screaming, I thought he was attacking you or something.”
“Well, his pet dragon tried to eat me, so he still did.” She pointed at his dick, which thankfully, had started to go down.
“What?” I asked when I caught her looking at me.
“I’m so jealous of your perky titties.” She pointed at me, and when I looked down, my silk robe was stuck to my wet skin, exposing my naked titties.
“First, you’re looking at his dick, and now my titties! Something is wrong with you! You need some dick,” I said over my shoulder as I headed to my room to get dressed.
Not only was he handsome beyond words, but he was also packing some serious meat! Whoever his girl was, I was sure she enjoyed being with him.
“What’s wrong with me?” I questioned myself as I dried off my skin. I had a boyfriend, but it was like I had forgotten all about him since meeting this man yesterday.
And speaking of boyfriend, I was lucky that he was away on vacation with his family. Otherwise there was no way I could have had this man here.
I spoke to my parents yesterday morning, so I had a few days to hide before they would demand to see me. So, as of now, he was okay to stay here, but I needed him to wake up, and soon!
Kanada Alton
Morning came faster than I wanted it to, and I sighed as I wiped the sleep from my eyes. Mornings brought back the reality of the situation I was in. At night, I could close my eyes and forget the struggles of that day, but in the mornings, I had to look forward to a whole set of new ones.
Sighing, I sat up and stretched out my aching body.
Sleeping in my car wasn’t comfortable at all, despite the leather seats, but it was better than sleeping on the streets. We had shelter if it rained, and I would turn on the heat to keep us warm.
It beat going to a shelter, which I had heard that nothing but bad things happened in. Right now, I could lock the door, and we were safe and alone—unlike a shelter.
Every night, I drove to a different location to park my car, so I wouldn’t bring attention to us, especially not the police. The last thing I wanted was for them to tak
e my son away from me.
Looking down at TJ sleeping peacefully, thoughts of if he would be better off being taken than staying with me crossed my mind. Every day I had that battle, and every day I started to lean closer to him going. It broke my heart to even think about my son not being with me, but it pained me more to know that I had him sleeping in my car, eating only one meal a day, and having to wash up in public restrooms. I thought about trying to get a job, but I had no one to watch him for me to do that.
Frustrated, I rubbed my hands down my face and closed my eyes.
Why is life so hard? What did I do that hurt God?
My only answer was that I must have done something to cause this.
I should have listened to my parents.
Sometimes, love blinds us, so we can’t see what is right in our face. My parents were the most loving people I knew. I had an awesome childhood, not because of money or materialistic things, but because of the love they gave me. My parents were my biggest fans and told me that I could do anything I put my mind to. They loved me until I didn’t have any more room to hold it. So, when they didn’t like Terrence, I should have known it was for a reason—they didn’t just not like anyone for no reason!
“Morning, Mommy.”
Hearing his sweet, innocent angelic voice caused a smile that I never thought I had the strength to conjure up otherwise to cover my face.
I opened my eyes to see the only person I knew at that moment who truly loved me. Even in my failures as a mother, he still loved me. I brushed my hand through his curls and pulled him into my lap.
“Good morning, baby. Are you hungry?”
Money was very low from that fifty dollars I got from Grant, and I had no idea on what I was going to do after that.
“Yes, Mommy.”
“Okay. Let’s go get dressed, and I will get us something to eat, okay?”
I kissed his forehead and then put him in his car seat.
Climbing out of the car so I could get into the driver’s seat, I looked around to see if anyone was around. Thankfully, it was still early, so nobody was around.
I cranked up my car and drove away, heading for a local restroom where I could wash up.
After driving for a few minutes, I noticed a mall, so I decided to go there to use their restrooms and maybe find some food.
I took TJ out from the back, grabbed our duffle bag from the trunk with the only things I owned in this world, and went inside to find the restrooms.
Since it was early in the morning and stores were just starting to really get busy, I didn’t waste any time putting some Dove on a few wipes and taking TJ into a stall to clean him and change him. When he was done, I did the same to myself.
I combed my hair and put on a little lip gloss, which was my attempt to look as normal as possible. After putting our dirty clothes into the bag, I left the restroom to look for some food.
By this time, there were a lot more people walking around shopping. The smell of coffee caught my nose, and I followed it.
“Excuse me,” I heard someone say, and I jumped when I felt a hand gently grab my wrist.
Naturally, I grabbed TJ and pushed him behind me as I turned to see who had grabbed me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” A tall, handsome, brown-skinned man with short dreads said and smiled at me.
As he did, I saw the gold grill covering his bottom teeth while two gold fangs showed from his top row of teeth. His dark brown eyes scanned my face, and his smile widened.
“Can I help you?” I asked, keeping TJ behind me.
I took that time to look him over since he was doing the same to me. From the gold watch on his wrist, several rings on his fingers, and a few chains around his neck, I knew he had some money.
At that moment, I found myself jealous that he had the one thing I desperately needed.
His eyes continued to take in my appearance as he slowly licked his lips.
“I’m in town on business and was looking for some…” he allowed his eyes to slowly roll down my body and linger on my thighs, which could be seen in the jeans I had on. “Company.” He finally finished his sentence, and I frowned.
I know this nigga isn’t asking for sex?
Did the fact that I had my son with me mean nothing to men? How could he stand there asking me for company after he saw me with a little kid? I was offended for my son and I twisted my face to reflect my disdain.
“I’m willing to pay.”
My jaw dropped at his blatant rudeness, and it had me wondering if I had hoe tattooed on my head or something.
I was dressed regularly in a pair of jeans and a busted down t-shirt from a Goodwill store, yet he thought it was perfectly fine to proposition me?
“No, thank you!” I gritted low enough for only him to hear because I didn’t want TJ to sense that something was wrong.
The man rubbed a finger across his lip and smiled.
“Cool.”
And then he turned to walk away.
“Mommy, I’m hungry,” TJ spoke out from behind my leg, and I looked down at him.
My heart sank because although I could feed him today, what about tomorrow or the day after? And were we supposed to just stay sleeping in my car?
“Wait!!” I called out to the man, who had only walked a few feet away from me.
He immediately looked back at me, and with that damn smirk on his face again, he walked back over to me.
Without a word, he took a business card from his back pocket, wrote on the back, and handed it to me.
“Give me a call. I’m staying at a hotel until tomorrow morning. My room number is on the back.”
Just like he had been doing since he stopped me, his eyes roamed my body, and I even thought I heard a light moan escape from his mouth. I had never felt so degraded in my life just from that gesture alone. He eyed me like I was a commodity that he was about to purchase, but I had to push that to the back of my mind and remember that I was doing this for TJ.
I needed money, and although it wasn’t the way I wanted to get some, it was the only option I had for now.
“See you later, and don’t bring the kid.” He winked before finally walking away.
Once he was out of sight, I looked down at the card and sighed. God knows I didn’t want to have sex with this man, and if I was in my own state, I would just rob him like I had been doing, but I knew I couldn’t do that now. I had no weapons, and the biggest factor was that I wasn’t from New York.
Knowing the inevitable, my stomach started to churn.
Feeling TJ gripping my thigh pulled me from my despair.
“Let’s go and eat something,” I told him then took his hand and found us something to eat while I tried to mentally prepare myself for tonight.
Looking up at my rear-view mirror, I tried to control my tears, but I couldn’t. My wet eyes then landed on the piece of my heart that was lying in the back seat asleep, and I closed them.
On one hand, I didn’t want to go through with it, but on the other hand, I was desperate, broke, and without any other options.
My mind told me to try to find Terrence, beg him to help us, and go back home.
After all, I was the one who left; he didn’t ask me to leave. Maybe he will take me back.
The idea of dealing with Terrence’s controlling, abusive, and cheating ways seemed like a paradise compared to what I was living now. I knew without a doubt that tonight was just going to be the beginning of something that I would find myself doing often just to eat. And how long could I really live in my car before I was found—either by the cops or someone who wanted to harm us? How many nights would I have to listen to my son’s young stomach growling and crying out for food without being able to do anything about it?
This was torture. It was hell on earth, and the only way out was inside the hotel that I was currently parked behind in an alley.
My eyes opened again, and I looked at TJ. I knew in my heart that one day he would no longer be
a little boy and would probably hate me for the things I had to do. For the choices I made.
Doing something I hadn’t done since I was young, I started to cry out to God and pray.
“God, I don’t know if you remember me, but my name is Kanada Alton. I know I haven’t prayed in a long, long, time, and I’m sorry for that. Lord, please, please, forgive me for what I’m about to do, and I’m begging you to please help me, Jesus. I don’t know what to do anymore, Lord. Please help me. Please!”
My entire face, chest, and lap were soaked with the tears that fell from my eyes.
It had been a long time since I had called out to God, and I had no idea if he could even hear me, but it was all I could do. My parents used to take me to church every Sunday when I was younger, and when I turned sixteen, they gave me the choice of if I wanted to still go or not. I guess I don’t need to say that I chose not to. Still, my parents encouraged me, and they didn’t judge me.
“I’m sorry, Mommy and Daddy. I’m sorry!”
My heart broke further because I had walked away from my parents for someone who never really loved me, and I knew that they would never find out how sorry I was.
Sniveling, I wiped my face, chest, and lap clean then made sure I looked presentable.
Looking behind me at a still sleeping TJ, I reached back and stroked his face.
“Mommy won’t be long,” I whispered and prayed that he didn’t wake up before I came back.
I covered him with the blanket to keep him hidden and warm then climbed out of the car and locked the door.
I rushed into the hotel, ready to get this over with and back to my son.
Alvaro ‘Wrath’ Ramsey
I sighed and frowned when I called Surge’s phone again, and it went straight to voicemail.
“The fuck is this nigga?” I asked myself and made a mental note to drop by his house once I was finished.
Putting my phone away, I walked along the street all in my thoughts, which caused me to bump into someone.
