by Kelly, Marie
“Okay, baby. Mommy will get you something to drink,” I said and looked at him in the rearview mirror.
Looking down at my duffle bag, I pulled over and picked it up. I already knew that I had no money at all left, and I didn’t get any from the client tonight since I didn’t go through with it, but I searched my bag, hoping I missed a dollar bill or more. As I pulled out the few belongings we had, I could see that my hope was nothing more than a dream because not even a dime was inside.
With a sigh, I started to put everything back into the bag until something caught my eye. It was the church pamphlet that Grant gave me that day in McDonald’s. I immediately turned it over to look for the address of the church.
After all I had ever done in my life, I knew church was the last place I should go, but at the same time, I knew it was the one place I needed to go. If anyone could or would help me, I was hoping it would be people at the church. At this moment, I had nothing else to lose.
I saw that it was late at night but as I put the church’s address into my GPS, I prayed that someone was there.
“Hold on, Mommy will get you something soon, TJ. Okay?”
He simply nodded and laid back in his car seat.
Seeing that the church was twenty minutes from where I was, I quickly pulled away and headed toward it. I wasn’t sure how anyone there could help, but hope led me and had me believing that somehow, someone would.
When I arrived to find the building in darkness, that hope slithered away. Even though I could clearly see that it was closed, I still got out of my car and tried the doors while silently wishing that even one person happened to be inside.
“Oh, please, no,” I uttered in despair when the doors were in fact locked.
I turned to look back at my car, and my heart started to pound as I watched my son hopelessly looking back at me. He was looking for me to fix things for him, to protect him and provide for him, and I couldn’t even do that.
Helplessly, my water filled eyes roamed the street as my brain tried to work out what I was to do next. My eyes then landed on a payphone just across the street, and all type of thoughts started to bombard me.
Maybe he’s better off without me, I started to think.
As much as I loved my son, I knew that I was hurting him by keeping him with me. If I called the cops, they could place him with someone who could look after and feed him.
There was a rumble of thunder above me, putting a halt to my thoughts, and seconds later, rain started to pour, just adding to the glum feeling I already had. I was so beat down and broken spirited that I didn’t even attempt to quickly get out of the rain. Instead, I slowly walked back to my car with my head down.
TJ started telling me he was hungry and thirsty again as I sat in my seat just staring out into the street.
The rain pelted my window and drummed on the roof of my car. The temperature started to drop, so I turned the car ignition on to turn on the heat.
It came on for a few minutes and then cut off.
“What the hell?” My face twisted in confusion at the car turning off, but soon, the confusion turned into panic when I tried vehemently to start it again with no success.
When I saw that my gas was finished, I nearly screamed.
Why is this happening to me now?
In my desperate attempt to get away from that stranger and then find the church, I had completely forgotten about my gas. Which was another reason why I was even contemplating sleeping with Nigel.
Completely overwhelmed with anguish, I closed my eyes and willed myself to keep it together in front of TJ. I was completely and utterly out of ideas.
Another loud clap of thunder made me open my eyes again. I didn’t know what I was going to do or where I could go, but I knew that I couldn’t stay in my car with TJ with the way this rain was coming, especially now that my gas was finished.
But where was I supposed to go?
At that moment, my eyes landed on the church again before they moved to the back of my car to look at TJ.
All I could do was sigh when a solution came to me, even though I knew it wasn’t a good one.
Lord, please forgive me.
Pharaoh ‘Legion’ Ramsey
“Damn.” I shook my head after hearing Wrath tell me how he found a little boy alone in a car only an hour ago.
“The bitch is lucky I don’t believe in smacking women because I wanted to knock the fuck outta her!” Wrath gritted, and I chuckled.
“You big mad, son! You called her a bitch!”
Wrath looked over at me.
“Yoooo.” He dragged, and I nodded, understanding his frustration.
We were in the supermarket getting a few things before going to my uncle’s house to chill.
“Yo, you seen Surge?” Wrath asked as he looked at some fruit.
“Um, nah. He’s probably laid up with a chick. You know how he do.”
Wrath picked up the bananas, inspected them, and then looked over at me.
“Yeah, you’re probably right.”
I walked around grabbing what I needed, and as I was about to head over to pay, I felt someone looking at me. When I turned to see who, my eyes met with that damn chick from the night I got shot. Her curly hair was framing her face like the last time I saw her, and she was just standing there looking at me.
“The fuck you looking at?” I snarled at her, making her eyes widen and then fall from my face.
I kept watching her, but she didn’t look back up at me again.
Weird ass chick, man.
She was weird as fuck!
Sucking my teeth, I went to pay for my shit.
“Damn, bro, what was that about?” Wrath asked me, and I sighed.
“She’s the one from my hit,” I simply said, and his eyebrows shot up in surprise.
He knew all about the night I got shot; he just didn’t know who the chick was.
As we waited in line to pay for our stuff, Cookie came around the corner.
“Oh, shit what’s good, Cookie?” I called out, and she came over smiling at us.
“Hey y’all.”
“What’s up, Cookie? You staying out of trouble?” Wrath asked, and she laughed.
“Yeah.”
“You need anything?” Wrath asked, and she shook her head.
“I’m good, Wrath.”
“Cookie!”
We suddenly heard someone call out, and we turned to see that it was Dirty Shirley—another older crackhead from around the way. We called her that because when she was younger, Shirley would be fucking and sucking every dick that walked past her. She didn’t give a fuck.
Unlike Cookie, Shirley got on drugs from an ex over twenty years ago. Her family tried to get her clean, but that wasn’t what she wanted.
They were always together, after meeting on the streets, and if you saw one, you usually saw the other.
Shirley ran over, and I chuckled as I watched her dig her panties out of her ass. Shirley gave zero fucks!
“Hey, my baby daddies!” Shirley called out to me and Wrath, and when my face dropped, she laughed.
“Don’t be saying that shit out loud, Shirley. Damn,” Wrath fussed, and she just waved him off.
“Girl, let’s go. I spilled some water in aisle two. You better go slip on that shit,” Shirley tried to whisper to Cookie, and I fell out laughing.
Those two were always up to some shit.
“Mannn,” Wrath dragged, making me laugh harder.
“Alright,” Cookie snapped to Shirley, who was now pulling on her. “See y’all later,” Cookie managed to say before Shirley pulled her away.
“Bye, baby daddies!” Shirley’s ignorant ass called out, making us shake our heads.
“Those two are a fucking mess.” Wrath chuckled.
Seconds later, we heard, “Oh my godddd, she fell over. Y’all motherfuckers got wet floors and shit with no signs! We suing!”
All Wrath and I could do was laugh while shaking our heads.
&nbs
p; We paid for our stuff and left as Cookie and Shirley started making a scene in the store, mad that the staff didn’t believe Cookie really fell.
As I was walking over to my car, that chick was not far behind me. I turned to watch her, wondering why she was just staring at me in the store. She looked up at me quickly and then dropped her head again while continuing to walk.
I unlocked my car, and just as I went to open my back door to put my groceries in, I saw this chick about to step into the road while a car was coming.
“What you doing?!” I yelled and grabbed her back just before the car could hit her.
Her body shook, and she looked up into my eyes.
Just like the night I met her in the stall, I found myself staring into her face. Something about this chick was weird but alluring as fuck.
“Ayo, sis, are you stupid or something? How you going to walk into the fucking road without looking?”
Shorty had me tight knowing I had to save her ass yet again.
She continued to look into my face for a few more seconds before mumbling sorry and walking away. This time, she looked before crossing the road, and I stood there stuck as fuck as I watched her.
“When you done saving damsels in distress, meet me at Pops’ crib,” Wrath called and laughed from his car window.
I stuck my middle finger up at him, and he sped away laughing.
What was up with that chick?
Shaking my head, I jumped in my car and drove away.
I pulled up at Unc’s just as Wrath climbed out of his car. He snorted a laugh, and I sucked my teeth.
Wrath opened the door for us with his keys, and we piled in looking for my uncle.
“I was beginning to think I had no kids,” Uncle Larry said from behind his newspaper when we entered the den.
After a few seconds, he dropped it to look at us.
We both walked over and greeted him.
“How you doing, son? You all good?” he asked, eyeing me and then my side, which let me know that Wrath had told him what happened. I wasn’t bothered because it just saved me from having to explain it myself.
“I’m all good.” I nodded, and he patted my shoulder.
Uncle Larry was my dad’s younger brother, but he was more like a father to me than my own dad was. Even when I was younger, and my dad was absent from my life, Uncle Larry always took time out to come and see me. He used to take me for the weekends and holidays. And every birthday, he bought me a present and a card.
He was against my dad taking me away from my mom and training me to be a killer, but he knew my dad was going to do what the fuck he wanted. Since he was the youngest brother, my uncle had no choice but to back down.
Still, he made sure to check in on me, and when I just moved my ass into his house when I was sixteen, he didn’t say anything about it and welcomed me with open arms. My dad was pissed, but at that point, there wasn’t shit he could do about it. I continued to live with my uncle until I was twenty and bought my first house.
After I finished greeting him, I hugged my Aunty Faye.
I turned to see Guns was sitting at the bar with Wrath, so I went to join them.
“What’s popping?” I dapped Guns and took a seat next to him.
We had a few drinks and smoked on some blunts while we discussed a few things.
“Pharaoh!” My little step sister, Clare, called my name and rushed over to me.
“What’s good, baby girl?”
I put my blunt down, stood to my feet, and gave her a hug.
Clare was my seventeen-year-old step sister. When she was eight, her mother married my pops. But, sadly, when Clare was eleven, her mama passed away from cancer. From the moment we met, we built a strong bond, and nobody could tell me she wasn’t my sister—blood or not. If I could say there was one person I loved, it would be her.
She greeted the guys and then looked behind her at a chick I didn’t even see standing there.
The girl stood there rigid and staring at us before her eyes landed on me. Clare pulled her stiff friend toward her and pushed her beside me.
“Everybody, this is my homegirl, Sapphire. Sap, this is my brother, Pharaoh.”
The girl looked up at me, blushed, and giggled while pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.
I locked eyes with my brothers, who fell out laughing.
My eyes landed on Clare, and she was smiling up at me, letting me know she wanted me to talk to her friend.
“I’m too old for you,” I simply told the little girl, whose mouth immediately dropped.
“Pharaoh!” Clare gasped, but I ignored her and took back my seat.
She of all people should have known I wasn’t into little ass girls, and if I wanted to talk to someone, I didn’t need anyone to fix it up.
Guns was killing himself laughing at this point, which caused the girl to storm away, all in her feelings.
“That wasn’t nice, Pharaoh!” Clare pushed me, and I looked at her.
“Nah, what wasn’t nice was you bringing your friend here after making her believe that I would talk to her young ass when you already knew I wouldn’t.”
Her mouth dropped.
“She has a crush on you, and I just thought it would have been nice for you two to meet. You didn’t have to tell her that, Legion.”
I gritted when I heard what she called me.
“What I tell you about that shit? Don’t say that name!”
She jumped from my voice and quickly nodded.
That was my street name, reserved just for that, which Clare had no business being in.
I sat back in my chair and went back to my blunt. Clare just stood there silently. After a while, I looked up at her. My face knotted when I saw that she was just standing there staring at Guns—lust all in her eyes and shit.
“Yo!” I snapped my fingers, and she looked at me.
“We’re smoking. Go look for your friend.”
Clare nodded and quickly scurried away.
I looked over at Guns and saw that he was too wrapped up in his phone to have noticed how my sister was looking at him. I kept staring at him while silently hoping he wouldn’t be so fucked up to go there with my little sister, but I soon calmed down when I realized he wasn’t built like that.
“Hey, Larry!”
My entire mood changed from cool to fucked up when I heard my father’s voice as he entered the room. Other than jobs, I had no other interaction with that man. I angrily drank from my glass, pissed off just to know he was in the same fucking room as me. And when I heard his feet approaching where we were sitting, I clutched the glass tightly in my hand, hoping it would keep me from putting my hands on him.
“What’s up, boys?” he greeted, and they replied with, Hey, Unc. And then it was silent.
“Hello, Pharaoh.”
This nigga knew I didn’t fuck with him, so I didn’t understand why he even attempted to talk to me. Not bothering to ask or respond, I kept my back to him as I sipped on my drink. My eyes burned into the wall I was facing as my mind told me to turn around and choke slam his ass.
He probably sensed my thoughts because he simply snorted a laugh and walked away.
Again, my glass touched my lips, and I sucked the dark liquor into my mouth. Silence fell around us, and I could feel my brothers’ eyes on me.
“What’s that about, P?” Wrath leaned over and asked.
All they knew was that I didn’t really talk to my dad, but I guess since I rarely found myself in his presence in front of them, they had never seen just how much we didn’t deal with each other. I avoided my dad at all costs, so I knew seeing me ignore him the way I did was new to them.
Downing the last of my drink, I swallowed before turning to look at Wrath.
“Trust me, bro, you don’t want to know.”
Meshach ‘Guns’ Ramsey
Look at him! He just thinks he’s the best! I thought as I sat there watching Wrath as he acted like shit was fine and not like he was about to lose it all
. He knew like I did that he was up shit creek. The only thing he didn’t know was that I was doing it—well, me and my love.
It wasn’t really anything personal against my brothers if I was honest because I did love them all very much. I was just tired of being invisible and living in their shadow.
I was tired of being seen and known as Wrath’s little brother. I was a KING, and everybody needed to know that. If the only way for them to see it was by me coming out on top, then so be it.
Hopefully, I might still give them a job once I take over, I thought since they were quite happy with me being excluded from it all.
As for my dad, the only thing I wanted him to do was eat his own words and bow down to me.
Wrath looked over at me, and I pulled a silly face, making him shake his head at me.
“Goofy ass.” He chuckled.
For now.
“Boys!” We heard our dad call out from where he was sitting, and we all looked over at him. He slowly stood to his feet and nodded with his head for us to follow him.
We all looked over at each other and stood up before following him out of the room. Even something as small as following our dad to his office, Wrath had to lead.
A small smile crossed my lips at the thought of it all changing soon.
We entered into our dad’s office, and as soon as our asses hit the chairs around his large rectangular table, he went in on us.
“Now, as you know, some motherfuckers are after our shit!” he spat angrily.
Me!
“I want you to find them and let them know who the fuck we are!” He banged the table with a closed fist.
“Wrath, you already know what I want you to do. Make it happen, and quickly.”
I frowned upon hearing that, but I should have been used to it by now. My brother and father spoke a lot behind closed doors without my knowledge.
Wrath simply nodded. Even Legion looked to be in the loop, and the motherfucker didn’t even work for us. I knew that sometimes Wrath included him when we had problems, because my cousin was a fucking beast at killing, but lately it seemed like he was aware of a lot more shit.
They’re going to replace me with him!
Nobody had to tell me that, I knew! I could feel it.
