by Kelly, Marie
I had bought Ma a pair of sneakers that she kept saying she really wanted, a new Chanel purse that I saw her eyeing in the mall, and a nice jewelry set that she said she wanted to wear on New Year’s Day.
“You’re very welcome,” I said as I rubbed her back.
She put my gifts down and handed me one of her own.
“Ma!”
“Don’t even bother when I told you not to get me anything.”
I thanked her and took the present from her hand to open it. Inside was a gold and diamond encrusted chain that said Kanda Girl and another one that said Mom.
I threw my arms around her and thanked her a thousand times for her gifts.
“Ahem.” I heard and turned to see Alvaro standing behind me with a gift in his hand.
“For me?” I asked, and he nodded before handing it over.
I took the box from his hand and opened it.
My eyes watered, and I gasped when I saw that he had bought me a diamond encrusted Rolex watch.
“Thank you, Alvaro.”
He smiled at me and took the watch out before turning it over.
I looked down and saw that it was engraved, To the World’s Best Mom.
More tears pooled in my eyes after I read it.
“You big softie,” Alvaro joked and nudged me with his shoulder.
I smiled and bit back my tears.
“Oh, I bought you something too,” I informed him and then got my present for him from under the tree.
“You didn’t need to do that,” he said, looking at the present and then at me.
“It’s the least I could do for all that you’ve done for me.”
I held my breath as I watched him open it, and for a few seconds, he just stared at it before his eyes lifted to look at me.
“How did you know?” he asked, referring to the platinum Dad ring that I bought for him.
“I remembered you mentioned it a few weeks ago.”
He looked at me, and something different flashed in his eyes, which I couldn’t put my finger on.
Out of all the jewelry Alvaro owned, there was only one piece that he didn’t have and wanted, and that was a ring that said Dad. Something simple but meant everything to him. Alvaro was indeed a proud dad, and everywhere he went, he spoke about KeKe.
“Um, I’m going to get a trash bag for all this mess,” I said, breaking our intense stare and rushing off to the kitchen.
I braced myself against the kitchen island and took a few deep breaths in and slowly blew them out.
Things between Alvaro and I had always been on a friendly level. Even though I found him extremely handsome and irresistible, I always kept my urges under control. But the way he just stared at me did something to me.
It made me want something more than I knew I could get out of him. He only sees you as a friend, Kanada, I recited to myself, hoping it would stop the emotions that were flowing through me.
“I don’t think you’re going to find the trash bags with your eyes closed.”
I jumped when I heard his voice behind me.
“Oh my god, you scared me!!” I laughed with a hand on my chest.
Alvaro laughed before stretching an arm out to me.
“I’m sorry. I thought you heard me walking in.”
He hugged me as we continued to laugh together, and when I pulled away, I playfully slapped him. He smiled at me, and then we found ourselves standing in silence again, just staring at each other.
“Are you good, though?” he asked, and I quickly nodded to say that I was, even though I was far from it.
Alvaro’s brows knitted in the middle, which let me know that he didn’t believe me.
“Kanda, you know you can always talk to me.”
I looked at him and sighed. “I’m good, Alvaro.”
I was just in here wishing that I could be more than your friend, I thought and wished I had enough courage to say it out loud.
I went to step around him so I could get the trash bags, but I was stopped when he put a hand on my stomach.
“Were you in here thinking about me?” He just had to ask, putting me on the spot.
I kept my mouth closed, too afraid of what I might say in response.
Just from a simple question like that, I could feel my body heating up until a pins and needles type of feeling took over. My chest tightened, and my palms started to sweat.
He didn’t move his hand from my stomach, and when he stepped even closer to me and pressed his lips against my ear, all breath left my body.
“Were you in here thinking about me… like I think about you?”
My eyes widened at his confession, and my heart sped up just hearing that he was thinking about me too.
He slowly ran a hand up and down my arm, making goosebumps cover my skin and a shiver flow through my body. I assumed he felt it too from the way his eyes locked with mine, giving me that same intense stare he gave only a few minutes ago in the living room.
That unfamiliar look was back in his eyes, and as I allowed myself to get lost it in, the familiarity finally hit me.
He liked me!
And if I doubted that he liked me, he knocked that thought away when his lips connected with mine.
I know people say something happens when they kiss someone they like, like stars appear and all that lovey dovey stuff, but God as my witness when Alvaro’s lips touched mine, I didn’t see the moon, stars, or the universe. I didn’t hear angelic music coming from heaven, nor did I see love hearts circling my head.
When Alvaro’s lips touched mine, I felt complete. I felt like everything was going to be okay in the world as long as I had him in my life. I felt like I could achieve everything I would ever aspire to have just from having him in my corner. I felt free, fresh, and alive!
Alvaro wrapped his strong arms around my waist, pulling me into his hard body, and I felt myself melting into him. Our tongues passionately danced together.
I could feel my soul slipping from me due to the passion that was overtaking my whole body. Never had I been kissed with so much passion, not even by Terrence.
My arms circled his neck, and I pulled him closer into me too, like I wanted our bodies to become one. Every nerve in my body was on fire, and my heart was pumping out of my chest.
Light moans escaped from both of our mouths as we took ownership of each other’s lips. This was a kiss unlike I had ever experienced before, and I was in pure bliss.
When we finally pulled away, both of us were breathing heavily—eyes closed, with our foreheads resting on each other’s.
After a few seconds, I slowly peeled my eyes open to see that he was looking at me. His eyes were burning with fire—the same fire I could feel rushing through my body.
He opened his mouth to say something but hearing the voices of the kids and Ma approaching stopped him.
Unwillingly, we pulled apart and put some distance between us, just as TJ ran into the kitchen followed by KeKe.
“Look, Mommy! Look!” TJ was bouncing around and showing off all the Iron Man toys he had gotten for Christmas.
He loved Iron Man, so I made sure to get every Iron Man item I could find.
“Ohhh wow, isn’t that lovely!” I smiled down at him and scooped him up in my arms.
When I looked over at Alvaro, he had KeKe in his arms as she showed him some of the gifts she got for Christmas too.
“What took you so long to find the trash bags?” Ma quizzed, and I found myself stuttering.
“Um, I-I couldn’t find them.”
Her eyebrow raised at my confession—or lie in this case.
“Girl, let me find out my granddaughter in law can’t find her away around a kitchen,” Ma walked past and whispered to me.
“What did you call me?”
She had never called me anything other than Kanada since I had been there, so it surprised me to hear what she just referred to me as.
Ma looked back at Alvaro before looking at me and grinning.
“
Oh, nothing.”
Just then Alvaro, looked over at me and smiled with that same look in his eyes as before.
“Come on, Mommy, let me show you the rest of my toys,” TJ announced then slid from my arms, grabbed my hand, and pulled me out of the kitchen.
As I was dragged out, I looked up at Alvaro one last time to see that he was still looking at me. A subtle wink from him was all it took for a huge smile to cover my face.
It seemed that since we shared our first kiss, time was preventing us from being alone. Many times throughout the course of the day, we both tried to talk about the kiss we shared in the kitchen, but we never found that moment.
As soon as one of us approached the other, we were called away by Ma or one of the kids. Or one of them would walk into the room, preventing us from speaking the words we had been trying to say. And then, before I knew it, the morning was over, and I had to help Ma prepare all the food for our Christmas dinner party. And by the time we finished doing everything, Alvaro was gone, having to run a few errands before this evening.
I was hopeful that by the end of the night we would finally find time to talk.
Kissing Alvaro had ignited a furnace deep inside of me that I had tried so hard to keep extinguished, but I was glad that it finally boiled over because I didn’t want to hold back anymore. I wanted Alvaro to know that for the past few weeks he had been haunting my thoughts and dreams. That I could see him with my waking eye no matter how much I tried not to.
And most importantly, that I wanted to be with him.
There was no more denying the feelings I had for him, and tonight was going to be the night that I finally expressed how I felt. There was no mistaking that he felt it through the kiss we shared, but I wanted to tell him with my words, so he would know exactly how I felt.
I looked myself over in the mirror in the red peplum dress that I had on and smiled. My blonde weave had been freshly done by the salon yesterday, so I put a few loose curls in it just to frame my face.
The only makeup I wore was eyeliner, blush, and pink lip gloss because I wanted to keep it natural and simple. I gave myself a once over in the mirror before taking TJ’s hand and leaving our room.
Just as I hit the stairs, I heard Alvaro’s voice, which set off a serious of butterflies in my stomach. Wanting to see his handsome face again, I sped up my descent on the stairs, eager to see his face. And when I did, I just stood there taking him in.
“Hello, Kanada. How are you, dear?” Alvaro’s dad greeted me first, snapping me from my trance like state.
“Mr. Ramsey, nice to see you, and I’m very well, thank you. How are you?”
“I can’t complain, and you are looking lovely tonight.” He complimented me, and I thanked him.
Mrs. Ramsey was the next to greet me with a hug and kiss to my cheek.
Meshach stepped in front of me next and gave me a not so interested head nod before moodily following his parents.
I watched him for a second before turning back around to finally greet Alvaro, but then I was faced with Brittany instead.
Brittany!
It was like as soon as I saw her, a lightbulb went off in my head, reminding me that Alvaro wasn’t as available as I had blindly allowed myself to think. Over the past few weeks, I hadn’t seen Brittany, which caused me to even forget about her. To forget that no matter what, she was in Alvaro’s life, meaning that I couldn’t be.
You’re so stupid, Kanada!
And just like that, all my feelings for Alvaro, the kiss and all my wants that I allowed to surface because of that one kiss dropped to the pit of my stomach like a heavy rock.
“Hi, Brittany.” I managed to push my pain to the side and speak to her.
“Hey.” She gave me a sluggish wave and walked into the dining room behind everyone else, leaving me alone with Alvaro.
When my eyes flashed up to meet his, I could see the uneasiness in his eyes. I could see that he too came to the realization that today was nothing more than a kiss, which never should have happened. Not wanting to talk or linger on it any further, I said a quick hello to him and made my way into the dining room.
Ma was at the head of the table, directing everyone to their seats.
“Ahhh, Kanada, you are sitting here,” Ma instructed and pointed out two chairs for me and TJ.
I thanked her and took our seats.
Everyone else followed Ma’s directions and took their seats.
I watched as Meshach angrily took his seat and slumped down, leaning back in his chair.
Mr. Ramsey and I shared a look before he shrugged. Something was going on with Meshach, but I didn’t really know him enough to ask him, so I just let it go. My attention was drawn to seats in front of me, and my jaw almost dropped after seeing that Alvaro and Brittany were seated right in front of me.
Could this night get any worse?
If I didn’t know before, I knew now. Whatever I thought I could have with Alvaro was over.
Alvaro ‘Wrath’ Ramsey
Kanada looked so fucking beautiful in the red dress she had on, but her sadness didn’t match how she looked. From the way she had her head low and was pushing the food around in her plate instead of eating it, I knew why she was acting like that. The answer was sitting right next to me and feeling on me like we were a fucking couple. From the moment she entered the house, Brittany had been on some good bullshit.
In all the years I had known Brittany, we had never displayed any type of affection toward each other—ever! Even when she saw me up on another chick right in her face, Brittany didn’t push up on me or feel on me. The most she would do is tell the chick that I was still fucking her, but that was it.
The only affection we showed each other was during sex and nothing else. There was no holding hands, kissing on lips or cheeks, hugging or anything like that—outside of the bedroom. The only time I touched Brittany was when my dick was inside of her or in her mouth.
We fucked—got caught up with my daughter one time—and that was it! So, for the life of me, I couldn’t understand what the fuck she was doing. If she wasn’t following me around the house like another ass or shadow, she was touching on me, kissing my face, and trying to sit in my lap.
Of course, it would happen on the day I shared a kiss with Kanada. On the day I was waiting for the right moment to tell her how I felt about her. On the one day when I finally gave in to my feelings for Kanada was the day that Brittany wanted to act out.
This definitely was a Christmas that I would never forget.
Kanada was probably thinking I was all types of bitch ass niggas, Guns was in his feelings about something, and Pops was still mad that I didn’t know who the crew was. The only peace of sanity I had left in this world was sitting there with the saddest expression ever on her face.
Not knowing what to say or do, I sighed and slumped back in my chair. Nothing but the sounds of our knives and forks slapping against Ma’s fine china and the sounds of gratified grunts could be heard in the dining room. It was silent and tension filled.
“TJ, that’s a nice watch.”
I silently thanked God that my dad broke the silence in the room because it was suffocating me.
TJ looked down at his watch and smiled.
“My daddy got it for Christmas. Didn’t you, Daddy?” He looked up at me from his watch with that smile I had grown to love seeing in the mornings.
“That’s right.”
Brittany’s neck snapped in my direction so fast that I just knew her ass got whiplash.
Her mouth opened, preparing to let God knows what fly out of it, but I put an end to that when I gave her thigh a warning squeeze under the table.
She looked over at me, and I knew my eyes said it all because she closed her mouth, rolled her eyes, and sat back in the chair.
Dinner commenced with a few conversations going on between Ma and my parents for the most part. I looked over at Guns, and he was looking at his phone like it kicked him in the balls or something.
<
br /> “Yo, kid, what’s good, son?” I asked him.
He snapped out of the staring match he was having with his phone and looked up at me. “I’m good, bro.”
“You sure? Because you looked like you were about to black out on your cell.”
He chuckled and shook his head.
“Oh, nah. It’s just a shorty I’m talking to who’s playing games.
“Word? You got a shorty you didn’t tell me about?”
A mischievous smile appeared on his face, and I chuckled at him.
“She’s someone I just met, but already, she’s playing games.”
I shook my head at him.
“Listen, if she wants to be with you, nothing will stop her. You feel me?”
From my peripheral, I saw Brittany look over at us and roll her eyes.
“Yeah, I feel you, bro.”
“And if she can’t recognize how bomb you are, fuck her.”
A funny look appeared in his eyes, and then he slowly nodded. “I hear you, bro.”
Dinner took another hour to finish—dessert and drinks included—and when it was all said and done, Ma stood to start clearing the table.
“I will help you, Ma.” Kanada immediately shot up in her seat and started to help.
She hadn’t said anything the whole night other than exchanging a few words with Ma or one of the kids, which pissed Brittany off every time KeKe spoke to Kanada. She tried to tell my daughter not to talk to Kanada, but I shut that shit down. Brittany was really pushing me, but I couldn’t focus on that.
My mama stood up too to help, but I stopped her.
“We got it, Mama. Thanks.”
I grabbed a few plates and told everyone that the three of us had it—not that Brittany even made an attempt to help anyway.
I couldn’t get into the kitchen quick enough, and after putting the plates down on the kitchen island, I looked behind me and saw Ma head out the kitchen. I quickly grabbed Kanada before she could follow.
“You look so beautiful tonight, Kan. Real damn beautiful,” I told her.
“Thank you, Alvaro,” she responded with her head down.
It hurt that she wouldn’t look me in the eyes like she usually did. I wanted to see her chocolate orbs that I had gotten lost in so many times that I had lost count. No, I needed to see them.
