by J. L. Ostle
“Have you seen Kimberly?” I ask the guys.
They all look amongst each other before Lucas looks at me. “I did and she swears on her life she didn’t get someone to throw pigs’ blood on you. She looked taken aback. I don’t think it was her. She wouldn’t lie to me.”
I shake my head. “Who else knows where I live? It was one of you. If you won’t find out who, I will.” I glare at him.
He glares back. “No one in our group would dare do something like that without my say so.”
“Well, I think you have someone who went rogue. When I find out who it is, I will kick their ass. And you can’t stop me. I want no ramifications. I will stick with you and your fucking group, but after this, I want none of you near me. I have been here one week and look! I’m in the fucking hospital. I have been drugged at one of your parties. I think I have had enough punishment to last me a lifetime. Now please get out.”
“Lucille,” Elijah says with a soft voice.
“Don’t. Don’t speak to me like we are friends, like you care about me. All you care about is your status and power. I am just an inconvenience. Someone you know did this to me. Even if it was Nathan who drugged me, it was you who told us to stick with him. You never once tried to get me away from him. Because all you cared about was yourselves. Now leave, please.” My voice is shaking a little towards the end. “I should just go to the police, let them deal with it, let them find out who did it.” I scream at them.
“Lucille, we will find out who did this…” Elijah tries to say, but I don’t want to hear it.
“Just go.”
They leave my gifts on the end of the bed, and once they’re gone, I cry. I haven’t cried in years. Nothing has ever brought me to it. I have seen and received cruelty. There was just one other time I witnessed something so vile and that was when my life changed. When I was no longer the innocent, naïve young girl.
All because someone enjoyed the power a little too much.
Chapter Twenty-Four
As soon as I’m discharged, I ask Aisha if she can stay with me for a few days. I don’t want to be alone, and I have no problem sharing my bed with her. I won’t let her sleep on my couch. Right now, I need someone close to me.
I need a friend.
We drive to her place so she can pick up a few things, and she gives me a little tour. A part of me wishes I said I would stay with her as her place is huge. I can see she comes from money but she doesn’t show it off. I think that’s also why we get on so well.
When we arrive at my building, the elevator is still broken. Walking up the stairs is like climbing a mountain. My chest feels tight, and when I reach my floor, I’m sweating. There is a note on the door. I take it, crushing it in my hand. I throw it in the trash once we’re inside.
Aisha retrieves it, unfolding it. “It says they agree to your terms.”
I don’t care if they said otherwise. I will find out who came to my home and threw blood on me. I am not letting them get away with this. I also want to know who drugged me. I bet they’re smirking, laughing, thinking they have got away with it. But they are sadly mistaken.
“I think it is Kimberly. She was angry at me. She wasn’t at the party which means she must have been planning something. She isn’t going to admit it, is she?” I sit on the couch.
Aisha joins me, holding the piece of paper in her hand. “Shouldn’t you just let this go? I know what happened to you is unforgivable but why pull a bull by its horns? You have thirteen days and then you can put all this behind you.”
“Alisha if this happened to you, would you let it go? Would you let whoever did this, just walk away thinking they can do it again? Once I know who it is, I will make them pay, and I will go to the police and let them punish whoever it was. “Once you know it did it, then yeah, go to the police. Just be careful and don’t go all guns blazing blaming people unless you are certain.”
“If it was Kimberly I will be able to tell once I see her tomorrow.”
“You’re going to school tomorrow? Shouldn’t you stay home and rest?”
“If I stay home, I will overthink everything. You were ill the last few days, and today you have been stuck with me at a hospital. I just want us to try and have some sort of normality.”
“Aisha can’t sit with us,” Elijah says, scratching the back of his neck, a thing I know he does when he feels uncertain. “This table is just for the group and she isn’t a part of it.”
It’s the following day, it’s lunchtime, people have been gawping at me all day, and now this.
“She is my friend. If she doesn’t sit, then neither will I.” I am not letting this happen. Aisha drove me to school so there wasn’t a chance for them to see me. I haven’t seen them since the hospital and now they’re back to treating me this way.
“Luce, it's fine. Until last week I coped. I will be in the library.” She starts to walk away, but I grab hold of her arm.
“No, this isn’t fair. It isn’t right.”
She gives me a warm smile. “Twelve days, remember. I think we can cope not sitting together for an hour a day. It’s fine. Just sit with them and keep your nose clean.” She pats my arm before walking back out.
I walk behind Lucas, leaning into his ear. “This is bullshit. I hope you know I am loathing you right now.” I take my seat.
“Duly noted.”
I look over to Kimberly who is eating a fruit cup. I watch her, my eyes on her, seeing if she gives anything away. I know I said I will drop it, but if someone ends up being guilty and proves it then all bets are off.
At lunchtime, I don’t say a word. Kimberly acts like her normal self. She doesn’t even acknowledge I’m there which makes me suspicious of her. She is always happy to glare and watch me and today she acts like I’m invisible.
The guys walk by my side to class. I can feel their eyes on me, but I don’t speak to them. I spot Aisha in her seat. I’m about to walk to mine when my arm is pulled and Axel is pointing at the seats I was sitting in last week when Asha was sick.
No. That wasn’t the deal. They said they were only doing it because she was ill, but now she’s back. “I am sitting with my friend,” I tell them.
“Lucille, just sit down,” Elijah says.
“I want to sit with my friend.” I’m trying to speak softly, I don’t want to draw attention to us but my restraint can only do so much.
Lucas stands, squinting at me. “Lucille, sit.”
I walk closer to him. “I. Am. Not. A. Dog,” I clip out quietly. “There was me thinking things were going to be different after yesterday, but I guess not. Oh, yeah, I forgot. We’re in a public place now. You can’t show your human side.”
He takes hold of my wrist. “You are making a big deal out of this. I get that you are angry but sitting in a seat near us for a few classes won’t kill you.”
“No, it could be the drugs that get me the next time you throw a party. What’s next? Me not able to see her on weekends because you decide you want to throw a movie night? Or a pamper session?” Anger is building inside me, but it’s anger that is starting to turn to tears.
I run out of the classroom before anyone sees. I run down the corridor, until I reach the girls’ bathroom. I open a stall and sit, letting the tears go. It’s like I have opened this gate and now all these tears just want to burst out. I would have normally said my piece and sat down. I need to pull myself together.
There is a tap on the door. I know it must be Aisha; she must have followed me. I grab some toilet paper, dabbing my eyes, and I open up the door to see Lucas standing there. His eyes soften when he looks into mine.
“What are you…?” I don’t get to finish what I’m saying when he pulls me into his chest, holding me. Feeling his comfort, him caring, the tears fall once again, and I sob into his shirt. I let everything I’m feeling out. He doesn’t say a word. He lets me have my moment. It makes me cry even harder that this man, this man I hate, is also a man I have trouble pushing away.
I
sniffle when the last of the tears have stopped. He steps back holding onto my shoulders, looking at me. He cups my face, wiping my cheeks with his thumbs. “Are you okay?”
“Honestly? I’m not. I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster and I don’t know when we’re going to dip down or go around the loop. I didn’t like the fact I let my guard down when I got attacked and also finding out I got drugged. That would explain why I was trying to dirty talk you and the guys.” I step back, hugging myself.
I was expecting him to chuckle or laugh, but he doesn’t. “I spoke to Nathan after we left the hospital. He went back to a girl’s place. He said he had no reason to use drugs and being himself is enough.” He rolls his eyes. “I spoke to the girl and she is fine. She wasn’t really drinking and she went of her own free will. We are going to keep looking into it as I don’t want that shit happening at my parties. I will have my ears open to see if I hear anything about the blood. Don’t think I’m sweeping this under the rug. I’m not. But we have to do things my way. It will be the only way we can catch who did this.”
I nod. “Okay. Thank you. Sorry I’ve been more difficult today than usual.”
He scoffs. “This is normal you, anyway, it's just you can’t be like this now as you are meant to be…”
“Part of the group.” I finish his sentence.
He crosses his arms.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I look into the mirror at my reflection, seeing my puffy, pink eyes and tear splodges on my face. I look a mess. I wash my face; I turn to Lucas who waits for me. When I feel more composed, he takes hold of my hand, entwining our fingers. It’s such a strange feeling because I feel some of his strength entering me.
Right now, I need any kind of strength.
We walk back into class, and Aisha turns, watching me while I take my seat with the guys. She mouths, ‘are you okay?’ I give her a little nod. I see the worry in her eyes. I hate looking at her during class, seeing her on her own. I want her to sit with us, but I know that will never happen.
When class finishes, Lucas takes hold of my hand again. On the walk to the next class, Aisha walks behind us. I want her to be next to me right now. These stupid rules are ridiculous, but having Lucas showing he cares, knowing that he does, it makes me not hate all this as much.
But I hate myself for not hating it as much.
When the last class is dismissed of the day, we walk outside. I straight away run over to where Aisha is, next to her car. I hug her, telling her I’m sorry over and over but she keeps dismissing my apologies. I open the passenger side of her door, ready to climb in when the door slams shut before I have a chance to get in.
“Fancy giving us a ride?” Elijah asks Aisha and me.
“I thought being seen with her wasn’t allowed,” I say in a condescending tone.
He cocks his head to the side, raising an eyebrow. “In school, yes, but we are out of school. We know she’s staying at your apartment, which I think is a good idea. At least we won’t have to worry about you being on your own.”
I place my hands on my hips. “How did you know she was staying with me?”
He taps his nose. “We know everything.”
They have spies everywhere.
“I don’t mind,” Aisha says.
“Well, I do…” I don’t get to finish my sentence when all three climb in the back, making themselves comfortable. I groan, opening the car door again and climbing in. I look into the rear-view mirror and see them all looking at me, smiling smugly. I stick my tongue out, making them chuckle.
The ride was over before I knew it. None of us said a word. The elevator is still broken, so we climb the stairs. I feel uneasy with them walking right behind me. Good thing I didn’t wear a skirt or a dress today. I turn around, checking on them as they are being too quiet and all three sets of eyes are staring at my ass.
I clear my throat and they all look up at me. “Do you mind?”
“I don’t mind at all, little one. I have a good view.” Axel blows me a kiss.
I stop. “You three walk ahead. I’m not having you all staring at my ass.”
They step in front of us, fake complaining, and we continue our way up. I am either looking at the steps or their backs. Aisha pssts me. She is pointing at the guy's asses, smiling. I have to cover my mouth with my hand to try not to laugh. They really do have nice asses. We’re both still looking at them, when we bump into them, grunting from the impact. Their bodies are like brick walls.
We look up to see them smirking at us. I feel my face heat up.
“Enjoying the view?” Elijah asks me. “Look who’s being a hypocrite now. Objectifying us, are we?”
I push him aside. “You wish. I’ve seen better.” Well, I don’t really go around looking at guys’ butts, but I’m sure no one could beat theirs.
When we reach their floor, they pause, looking at me and the way to their place. It’s like they don’t want to go. I extend my arm out, pointing for them to leave. Once they’re gone, Aisha and I burst out laughing.
“I can’t believe we got caught checking them out.” Aisha falls onto the couch when we enter my place.
I scoff. “I bet they loved it. They seem to enjoy that kind of attention.” I walk over to the kitchen, turning on the kettle. “I’m just glad they weren’t assholes on the way over here.”
“You know they have rules to follow too, just like the rest of us. Last year, there were people above them. They haven’t always been on top.” I stop what I’m doing. I never thought about that. I just assumed they were always on top, but seniors, no matter who they are, outrank the years below.
I continue making our hot chocolates. “Well, they have had a chance to change things but they never did. Make the school a better place and all that.”
She snickers. “Not everything is as black and white.”
I place our drinks down. “Kimberly and Elijah both said that.” I get comfy, tucking my legs under me. “You think when we reach college, bullying, popular people, cliques, it would just stop, but it doesn’t. I know it even happens in the real world.” I think back to Chasity and that woman in the shop.
Aisha takes her drink, blowing it, cooling it down before taking a sip. “You can never stop bullying, not really. There is always going to be someone out there who has a higher power over someone and will use that to feel better about themselves.”
There’s me thinking once I graduate, if I do, that my life will be better. What if it doesn’t? What if for the rest of my life I talk back at people who treat me or other people like dirt? I’d go through hundreds of jobs just because of that.
I think about my parents and my plans for after school. I know I have two paths. I have one that is the easy route. The one my parents have waiting for me, but I don’t want to use the easy option. I want to do things on my own, but now I wonder if my way will be harder than I thought.
“You’re right.”
“I always am.” She smiled
I squint at her, and she smiles even bigger. “There are always going to be people out there who think they can walk over people. I just pray they never cross me.”
She chuckles. “Yeah, I can imagine you telling them to fuck off and saying something witty.”
I nod. “Yup. You know me so well already.” We both laugh.
We talk and watch TV. We’re deciding what to have for dinner when there’s a knock on my door. My body involuntarily freezes. Fear runs through me. Nothing scares me. I guess what happened over the weekend has shaken me more than I thought.
I stand up, walking over to the door when Aisha calls out to me, shaking her head. She stands up with me, taking hold of my hand. “We should just ignore it. I’m here, and there shouldn’t be anyone knocking at this time of night,” she whispers, like whoever is on the other side of the door can hear.
She’s right, we should just ignore it. What if whoever is on the other side plans on doing something much worse? We both stand there then shriek when there’s ano
ther knock and Lucas calls out to us to open the door.
My body immediately relaxes, then annoyance fills me. I open the door, staring the guys down. “Do you know you freaked us out?” I complain. “Have you ever thought about calling first to say you were coming?” They barge past me. “What are you doing here?” Then I notice the pizza boxes.
Lucas sets them down onto the breakfast island. “I left messages that we were on our way up.” My phone is in my bag. I retrieve it, looking at one message.
“Why didn’t you call?”
“Because we didn’t want you to say no. If we sent a message, you couldn’t say no. Well, you could, but it would be too late. We were already on our way up.” He smiles smugly.
I roll my eyes. “Well, you brought us food. You can go now.” I wave to the door.
He snorts. “No way can you two girls eat all this. We got it for us too. We thought as we missed out on pizza night on Sunday, we could have it now.” He hands out paper plates and napkins. “Help yourself.” He and the guys plate up then take their seats. Elijah and Axel take the floor, and Lucas takes the couch just like they did on Sunday.
Aisha comes to my side. “At least we don’t have to worry about food.” She plates up a couple of slices of pizza and I do the same. She takes a seat on the couch but leaves the spot in the middle for me.
I sit down. Lucas takes the remote, putting on Netflix, flipping through the movies until he reaches Stranger Things. I take the remote from him when he tries to put on the last season. I haven’t even watched the first episode. Because they invited themselves, I decide on a chick flick. The Kissing Booth.
The guys groan. Aisha turns to me and smiles. “Nice choice.”
“I’d rather watch a horror. I don’t care if you grin like a homicidal maniac,” Elijah pleads to me.
“She does what?” Aisha asks him.
Elijah turns so he’s fully facing us both. “This girl here.” He points to me. “Smiles during a horror. I don’t mean a little smile, like a huge, satisfied smile. It’s creepy.”
