“I will.” She stood.
“If you think you’re getting rid of me you’re sorely mistaken,” he said. “We’re going to bed now.”
Her heart went pitter-patter, and she wasn’t sure exactly what to say. Last night had been fantastic. Would tonight be the same?
“I’ll lock up,” he said. “You go get ready for bed.”
Aurora hurried to the bedroom. She changed into the old t-shirt she slept in, then went to the bathroom where she washed her face and brushed her teeth. When she came back to the bedroom Holt was there, wearing nothing but his boxers. He had a small bag in his hand.
She walked past him and he swatted her on the bottom. “Get in bed,” he ordered.
Her body tingled at the contact, and nerves mixed with excitement. Was she going to have another orgasm, or was that something that would only happen every once in a while? She crawled into bed, then wondered if she was on the right side. Sounds of water reached her ears and she imagined him brushing his teeth and washing up, just as she had done. She imagined that’s what had been in the bag, although it seemed much larger than just a toothbrush.
Then it hit her. It was a shaving kit. She imagined him putting his things into the cabinet to store here. Did he plan to stay here for good? Or was it just the one night? She was too embarrassed and shy to ask, although she was sure other women would.
Holt came out of the bathroom and stared at the bed.
“Am I on the wrong side?” she asked.
“You’re fine,” he said as he slid into bed next to her. “Tired?”
She nodded. He lay down on his side and patted the space next to him. Aurora curled up next to him, just like she had on the couch. He kissed her forehead and held her tight. It wasn’t long before she heard his deep, even breaths.
Even as tired as she was she couldn’t fall asleep. The event with Archie replayed in her mind and she knew that by now Stan knew she was somewhere in the Panhandle. She was happy to know he thought she was in Amarillo, because that meant he didn’t know exactly where to look for her. But what if he found out somehow?
Ben had always said Stan was like a bulldog. When he was on the scent of something he never gave up. Truthfully, she’d expected him to track her down during the last three years. She’d always looked over her shoulder to see if he was there. Now to have Archie find her when she just felt she was rebuilding her life—well, it was just too much to handle.
She should tell Holt. She should wake him up right now and let him know Stan would be hunting her, that he wanted to kill her. She was on the verge of shaking his shoulder when she pulled back. This was her problem, not his. Stan wouldn’t find her here in Bookman Springs, she was sure of that.
She nestled against him once more and he wrapped his arms around her. She was counting the beats of his heart when she fell asleep.
Aurora woke to Holt’s lips on her neck, trailing from her ear down to her breast and back up again. In the morning light she could see the darkness of his hair, see the outline of his large hand as he stroked her cheek. She moaned softly and closed her eyes. His touch was delicious. It seemed a strange word to use, but it fit because she wanted to devour every inch of him, savor his touch.
She stiffened and lay there, letting him continue his explorations. It took her a moment to realize he’d stopped. She opened her eyes and looked up at him.
“Have I done something wrong?” she asked.
“You’re like a board,” he said. “Are you not enjoying my touch?”
“I love it,” she said.
“Then relax. Touch me. It takes more than one person to make love.” He kissed her jaw, and Aurora shivered. Past memories clouded her movements. The first time they’d made love had been perfect.
“I don’t know what to do,” she whispered.
She could see the concern on his face. “There’s not a manual.” The concern turned into a smile. “Well, I suppose there are. Lots of people have written how to books about having good sex. But the truth is you just need to be excited, and have a bond with the person you’re with.”
“I never had a bond with Ben,” she said. “And we had sex all the time. Or should I say he had sex. I just lay there.”
“Not with me you won’t,” he whispered in her ear. “You’re going to be a naughty girl for me. You’re going to shiver when I kiss and lick your clit. Your nipples are going to be hard when I slide inside you. The walls of your pussy will hold me tight, and when you come we will both feel it.”
His voice was like silk, and she moaned softly and turned her head to the side. He sat up and grasped her panties.
“Hips up,” he demanded.
Aurora obeyed and when he slid her panties over her hips she nibbled on her lower lip.
He rolled off her and said, “Take them off.”
It took her a moment to work them down her legs and over her feet. When they were off he picked them up and tossed them off the bed. He climbed back onto her and she spread her legs to give him access.
Instead of plunging into her, as Ben had always done, Holt leaned down and kissed her neck. “So beautiful.” He leaned over and kissed the other side. “And sexy.” He kissed her chin. “And so amazing.”
“Sometimes I wonder how you see all that,” she said.
“Because it’s the truth,” he said. He kissed the tip of her nose.
She was about to respond that she was a murderer, and pretty much worthless. But when he looked down at her she could see the desire in his eyes. Aurora licked her lips. The more time she spent with Holt the better she felt about herself, even after the episode with Archie. He didn’t blame her for what happened, and for that she was grateful. He kissed her, then rolled off her and she lifted up on her elbows and stared at him.
“What did I do wrong?” she asked.
“Climb aboard,” he said. He patted his thighs and she gasped.
“Excuse me?”
“Up you come.” He chuckled. “You get to do the heavy lifting this time.”
“How?”
“Are you saying you need a lesson?”
Aurora wasn’t sure she liked the sound of that. What exactly did he have in mind? “I’ll try my best.”
“Think of me as a horse,” he said. “Mount me, take me inside you and then ride me, up and down, in and out, slow, and then faster.”
“Do I need stirrups?” she asked.
“Cheeky little brat.” He slapped her ass. “Get up here.”
Aurora threw her leg over his hips and steadied herself. The tip of her tongue stuck out of her mouth as she grasped his hard cock and tried to take him inside her. Like it had happened with her riding lessons it took her a few times to get it right, but when he was inside her she threw her head back and groaned in pleasure.
“I agree,” Holt said, and he groaned, too.
Aurora found a rhythm, taking him in and out of her as she rocked back and forth. She must have been doing something right because his breathing was heavy, and he groaned and moaned as she rode him.
His cock hit sweet spots inside her, and Aurora thought she might come, but it was always just out of her reach. When he grasped her hips and thrust up inside her, faster and faster, she knew she’d done it—she’d brought him to orgasm. She leaned over and kissed him when it was over, and she smiled down at him.
“I did it,” she said, then she lifted up and threw her hands in the air. “I did it! I got you off.” She couldn’t help but laugh. “I didn’t get myself off, but that’s okay. I made you come.”
“Yes indeed, baby bear, you did.”
She collapsed on top of him, and kissed his shoulder. When he wrapped his arms around her she realized, yet again, that they hadn’t used one of the condoms that he’d asked her to buy.
Chapter 12
Aurora placed a plate of pancakes and bacon in front of Holt. When he didn’t say anything she cleared her throat. “The pancakes were frozen, and the bacon pre-cooked. I warmed it up in the microwav
e. I hope it’s okay.”
He picked up a piece of bacon and bit into it, and she heard the crunch—but not in a good way.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m not a cook, as I said.” She wanted to tell him that Ben had always told her she was worthless in this area, too, but she kept her mouth closed. She also wanted to say she’d get better at it, but she knew that wouldn’t happen, either. Maybe she should let him cook for them, because all the brothers knew what they were doing in the kitchen.
“I’ll buy you a cookbook,” he said. She sat across from him and watched as he ate. When he was done he stood and took his plate to the sink.
“I’ll get that,” she said, hurrying behind him.
He told her to sit back down, and when he was across from her again he said, “The cooking will come to you. Don’t worry about it. What I want to talk about is the way you think about yourself.”
She wasn’t sure what to say, so she just stared at him. “You’re not useless. You have a lot to offer, both to me and to the ranch. I’m going to teach you that.”
“How are you going to do that, exactly?” she asked.
“The first thing is you’re going to write, five hundred times, ‘I am not useless’, on the chalk board.”
She turned her head to where the chalkboard sat on the sofa. “It won’t fit there.”
“Then use your skills to measure. When I get back at seven tonight all the words need to be there.”
He got up, kissed her forehead and headed for the door. “I have quite the day in front of me, so I won’t be around much. I’ll text later in the day and we’ll discuss dinner. Take care, and work on your words.”
Aurora expected him to leave. Instead he crossed the room, pulled her from her chair and kissed her. When that kiss was done he gathered her in his arms and held her tight when he kissed her again. She leaned into him and savored the taste of his tongue as he gently pushed it into her mouth.
When he broke the kiss he caressed her cheek. “Don’t forget your words.”
Then he left. When he was gone, Aurora warmed up her own breakfast and wondered why she hadn’t bought cereal. After she cleaned up the kitchen she sat down on the sofa and picked up the chalkboard. Trying to get the words he wanted on the board five hundred times would not be an easy thing to do. She’d have to write small, and count the number of words she could get on each line.
She’d always been fairly good at math, so she thought she could get it done fairly easily. But first she needed to do her job. She took a shower, dressed, then crossed over to cabin three to talk to Becky. Their new client sat outside, drinking coffee while her children played nearby. The youngest was playing with jacks and a ball, and the other three played cards, Go Fish from the sounds of it.
“Can I get you coffee?” Becky asked.
“Sure, thanks.”
Becky stood and asked Aurora to sit, then went inside. When she came back out she had a tray with a coffee carafe, a cup for Aurora, and cream and sugar. Aurora wondered if she would have known to bring all these things, or if she would have brought out a cup for Becky, then run back inside to gather the fixings.
When they were seated with their coffee, Aurora asked how Becky’s first night had been. “The kids think we’re on some sort of vacation.” Becky took a sip of her coffee. “I tried to explain to them that we won’t be going back home, but I could tell it didn’t set in.”
Aurora wasn’t sure what to say. But as den mother she should have something put aside for an occasion like this, shouldn’t she? She thought and thought, but nothing came to mind. She took a drink from her coffee and finally said, “I wish I could help.”
“You are,” Becky said, “you and your husband. If it hadn’t been for you, I would probably be in the hospital right now, or the morgue. This time was particularly bad. The kids are used to Mommy being beat up. They think it’s normal.”
Holt’s not my husband, Aurora thought, but she kept those words to herself. She sniffed the air and said, “Something smells good.”
“I have muffins in the oven,” Becky said. “I bake and cook when I get nervous.”
“I can’t do either,” Aurora said. “I burnt Holt’s bacon this morning, and he had lousy pancakes, too.” She laughed nervously, and Becky touched her hand.
“I can teach you to cook,” Becky said. “Although I’m not sure how long I’ll be here. I have a lawyer who is supposed to come down and see me. I’m going to file for divorce, then we’re going to move, me and the kids. I’m worried about taking them away from him, but he’s so violent I also worry about them thinking it’s the normal thing. I don’t know what rights I have to keep them away from him.”
Aurora didn’t know, either. “The lawyer will be able to tell you.” Shouldn’t she know what to say with questions like this? Or was she just supposed to sit and listen and provide a little comfort.
“Is he coming down here?” Aurora asked. “I mean the lawyer.”
“Yes,” Becky said. “I need to talk to your husband about it. I don’t know if I’m supposed to bring him here, or if I should meet him in town.”
“Holt’s not my husband,” Aurora blurted out. “I’m a widow.”
“I’m so sorry,” Becky said.
How did she respond to that? Did she say she wasn’t sorry about Ben being dead, since she was the one who killed him? In response, she whispered, “I killed him.”
The shocked look on Becky’s face made Aurora look away. She told her story, taking drinks from her coffee during the pauses. When she was done, Becky put down her coffee cup, took Aurora’s from her hands and set it on the tray, then took hold of Aurora’s hands.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Becky said.
“You were smart to get away,” Aurora responded. “And you have your kids.”
“They’re the reason I left,” Becky said. “The only reason. Something deep inside me wonders if I deserve to be beaten. I put up with it for years because he told me I wasn’t worth anything. At least you had the will to stand up for yourself.”
No one had ever put it like that, and Aurora wasn’t sure it was the truth. Heavens knew she had a horrible opinion of herself. It was pretty sad. But Holt was helping her, he was making her see that she wasn’t worthless, that she could offer a great deal to this world, and to the people around her. “I am not useless,” she whispered to herself. “I am not useless.”
“Let’s make some cookies,” Becky said. “The kids love to bake.”
She got up and yelled, “Cookies!” The kids came running, and they all went into the house. Aurora followed them, ready to learn something new, and totally forgetting about the words she had to write.
When Holt texted her at four, Aurora was just setting a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies in the middle of the table. She’d eaten lunch with Becky and her kids, laughing at the kids’ jokes and enjoying peanut butter and jelly more than she ever had in her life. She’d left her phone at her house, so when Holt texted her she picked it up and stared. This wasn’t the only time he’d tried to get hold of her. There were texts at one, and at three.
The one at four asked how she was doing, and what kept her from answering. She immediately typed an answer.
“Spent the day with Becky and her kids. Not used to having a phone, so I left it at home. Sorry.”
She waited for an answer, and it came about two minutes later. “How are your words coming along?”
It hit her in the stomach, and she looked at the clock. Before she could answer he told her he was bringing hamburgers and fries home for dinner, and he would be there around seven, as planned. He would get all the fixings on the side so she could add what she wanted. All he wanted to know right now was if she wanted cheese so it would have time to melt before they ate. She typed out a quick yes, then put the phone on the table.
Aurora rushed to the chalkboard and stared at the surface. Their last game of hangman was still on there. She went to the kitchen an
d got a wet paper towel. After she’d cleaned the board’s surface she took a piece of red chalk from the package he’d brought with him yesterday.
I am not worthless. Four words. She checked the package to find the size of the board. Thirty-two by thirty-five. He hadn’t said there couldn’t be left over space on the board, so she started to write, keeping her words small so that she didn’t have to redo them if they didn’t fit.
The hardest part was losing track of the number of times she’d written the phrase. She had to go back and count again several times. After she got tired of that she wrote the number of times it was after each phrase so she could keep track. She was at three hundred and five when the back door opened and Holt strode inside. He had a drink carrier with two cups and a large brown sack.
He set the offerings on the table, then crossed to where she sat on the sofa and kissed the top of her head. He took the chalkboard from her and studied it for a few moments.
“You made it easy on me by adding the numbers. If you had more than five hundred I would say you were telling a fib, but I can see that you’re not close to done.”
“I spent the day with Becky and her kids,” she said. “We made chocolate chip cookies. I brought some home and they’re on the table.”
“Great dessert,” he said. He continued to study the board, and Aurora couldn’t help but wonder what sort of punishment she would receive for not doing as she was told.
“I didn’t do well,” she said.
“No, you didn’t.” He sat down on the sofa and patted the spot next to him. Aurora moved next to him. “You did well on your job, though. Spending the day with Becky and helping her to adjust was a good thing.”
“I told her my story.” Her hands shook. He put the board down and clasped her hands between his. “I’m not sure if I was supposed to or not.”
“There are no set rules on what you should discuss with the clients,” he said. He stroked his thumb against her hand. “If you felt the need to tell her, that was your choice. How did she take it?”
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