by Rye Brewer
“Reading? Since when do you read Latin?”
“Oh, I know all sorts of things.”
“You’re smart. But you’re not that smart.” His hands found the sides of my face. I sighed softly—his touch was the best thing I’d ever felt, the best thing I’d ever imagined. Enough to make my breath come a little faster.
When he leaned closer, I realized he was going to kiss me. I wasn’t wishing anymore or kidding myself. I closed my eyes and melted against him the instant our lips touched. It was like a spark leapt from him to me, or me to him. No matter where it came from, it created a sort of sizzling feeling that arced between us and spread all through me. I felt more alive. Everything was more real. I buried my fingers in his hair and held his face close as he kissed me. I wanted it to last forever.
But nothing lasted forever. Not even in our world.
“You need to get back to your room,” he whispered, stroking my cheeks with his thumbs.
“Wow. What a romantic thing to say after kissing me.” I was breathless, a little giddy.
He chuckled. “I’m serious. You can’t be in here.”
“But it’s part of Steward’s quarters, isn’t it?”
“That doesn’t mean somebody might not show up out of nowhere, especially in a room like this one. They might be looking for a scroll. Who knows? It’s too much of a chance to take. We owe Steward that much.”
I couldn’t argue with that. “You’re right.” I didn’t have to like it, but there was no defense against it. We went back to my room, where Jonah watched as I sat on the little bed Steward had made up for me.
“You’ll stay?” he asked. I hated feeling like a child, like he thought he had to keep an eye on me.
“On one condition.”
“Which is?” He raised an eyebrow.
“That I stay in your room. With you.”
“Excuse me?”
“I don’t mean that way.” Though I wouldn’t have been against it. “I mean I can’t stand being alone right now. I can’t. There’s too much going on in my head. I need to be with somebody right now. Please. I’m alone in here, and my brain is racing out of control.”
He paused for a moment then it was clear he saw how serious I was. “Okay. Come on.”
We went to his room, which looked exactly like mine. “This is nice,” I said.
“Uh, thanks. Not much like home, but safer.”
“True.” I walked the length of the room and back again, hands clasped in front of me. “I wish I could turn off what’s happening in my head. Honestly. I really do.”
“I know you do. But there’s nothing you can find out right now. Is that what you were doing in there? Were you trying to find something?”
“It would’ve been nice if I could’ve.”
“I think you’re looking for a needle in a haystack.”
“That’s very helpful, Jonah. Thank you.”
He snorted. “Sorry. I know it’s easy for me to say.”
“It is easy for you to say. You’re absolutely right.”
“But you know what? I can sort of identify with what you’re feeling. I mean, I don’t know what happened to my parents. They just… left. They went away.” He was in a chair by the fire, his elbows on his thighs. He stared into the flames. “I don’t know what happened to them. I don’t know where they went. Are they dead? Alive? Why would they leave like that?”
“I feel the same way about my mother,” I whispered, finally coming to a stop.
His words had calmed me a little because, yes, he knew how it felt. And talking about it made everything feel a little easier to deal with. “Why would she never come back? Why wouldn’t she send word to me that she was alive? I mean, all these years… All these years and I thought she was dead. How could she have let me think that?”
“I don’t know. And I didn’t know her. But I guess she had a very good reason. I can’t imagine being away from you and never telling you I was thinking about you. I can’t imagine knowing I would never see you again.” He looked at me, and when our eyes met I felt the same sizzling feeling I had when we kissed. “I can’t imagine never being able to touch you again. So, there would have to be a very, very good reason for me to stay away from you.”
He had no idea what he was doing to me. He didn’t know how my heart threatened to burst when he looked at me that way and said words like that, or else he wouldn’t do it. He wouldn’t torture me this way—sweet, delicious torture. I wished we were anywhere else but here in this moment. I wished I could kiss him again and we could just be the two of us. We’d never had that chance.
“Why don’t you try to get some rest? You need it, even with the blood.”
“Okay.”
I did feel calmer, actually. He had that effect on me. I stretched out on the bed, wishing he would join me but knowing it was better if he didn’t. I closed my eyes, and, immediately, my body went into its resting state. My metabolism dropped as it always did when my body recharged.
I felt myself floating in a semi-conscious state, one ear trained for the sound of Steward’s return. I had more questions for him.
Questions that couldn’t wait much longer.
8
Anissa
I didn’t know how much time passed before I heard a commotion at the door. I sat up, looking at Jonah with wide eyes. His expression matched mine. Had we been discovered? One of the raised voices was Steward’s. Who was the other?
At that moment, the door flew open so hard it slammed against the wall. I froze, terrified, sure we would be dragged out—or worse. I thought of the danger we’d put Steward in just by being there. Would they know we’d taken his blood, too?
There was a man standing there. No, not a man. Not exactly. He reminded me of Steward with his robe and those eyes. Eyes that gleamed even in hardly any light. Amber eyes. He was a shade, too.
But not only a shade. His skin was dark, but not as dark as Steward’s. There was something else inside him, some other blood strain. There had to be. And his nose. His nose was like mine.
I sprang from the bed, facing him. It couldn’t be. Steward would’ve told me. He would’ve.
Those amber eyes burned into me, and the shade whose nose looked like mine gave me a hard, cold look. He then gave Jonah the same look, like he was furious and disgusted all at once. What would he do?
He turned and left, his footsteps pounding down the hall.
“Oh, no,” I whispered, sure he would tell somebody we were there. “Who is he?” I asked Steward, who had moved into the doorway. “Is he going to tell we’re here?”
Steward’s voice was heavy when he replied. “He’s your brother.”
“My brother?”
Of course. It wasn’t just the nose. It was a feeling I had as soon as I laid eyes on him. The same sort of connection I had to Sara was there, between us—different, but the same in many ways.
“Yes. His name is Allonic.”
“I have to talk to him!” I dashed out into the hall, but there was no sign of him.
“Anissa, he won’t want to talk to you,” Steward said. “Please, trust me. You can’t go looking for him.”
“It’s too dangerous,” Jonah said, tugging on my arm. He’d followed me out.
I whirled to face Steward again. “How did he know we were here?”
“Allonic has skills. He must have sensed or felt you. I’m not sure.”
“It doesn’t matter. He knows.” Jonah’s jaw was set tight as he looked up at Steward. “What does this mean for you?”
“It means I have to find somewhere else for you to go.”
“You don’t think he’ll keep us a secret?” But no! He had to. He was my brother. Didn’t he feel the connection the way I’d felt it? How could he hand over his own sister?
“I can’t say for sure. I want to believe he will, but I can’t be certain.” He looked downright flustered, and I felt sorry for him. He’d taken such a chance on us, too. “Wait here. I have to take care of
things, do damage control if necessary. I’ll be back as soon as I can—in the meantime, stay in your rooms and wait there. Don’t come out for anything.” He hurried off, pulling the hood over his head as he did.
“We should listen to him,” Jonah took my hand. “Stay in your room, and I’ll stay in mine.”
“All right.” I had no intention of doing any such thing, but I had to at least make it look as though I did.
9
Anissa
The second Jonah’s door closed, I slipped back out into the hall. All of my old assassin’s skills came back to me as I darted down the passageways, ducking in and out of the deep, dark shadows. It wasn’t difficult to stay concealed since there was hardly any light brighter than a weak torch. I pressed myself against the cold walls any time I thought I heard footsteps or the swishing of robes.
I had to find Allonic.
Why had he run off like that? Was he angry to find me there? Why? Did he know who I was? Well, if he knew I was there, he probably had a good idea of who we were to each other. I held my breath as I heard footsteps from the other end of one passage, and, ducking into a shadowy alcove, I waited until the person passed.
There were so many hallways, a maze of passages both wide and narrow. I wondered if I’d ever find my way back to Steward’s quarters. How large was the network of tunnels? How much land did it cover? I couldn’t imagine how long it must’ve taken to carve it all out.
I heard voices, both male and female. There were female Custodians, too? Maybe my mother was one of them. Maybe she’d turned into one of them when she’d fed. Maybe that was what she’d changed into.
I pressed myself tight against the wall, feeling the cold rock beneath me. It sent a chill straight into my bones. I held my breath again as the voices grew closer. What would I do if they caught me? No. I couldn’t let that happen. Why had I gone against Steward’s orders? I could get him killed!
I glanced to my right, down a long, long passage. Torches lit the walls at even intervals, and I saw what appeared to be a female Custodian approaching. She was a little smaller than Steward but wore the same robe. The only thing that gave her away was the feminine walk and the curves that were hinted at beneath her robes.
She was coming closer with every step. Soon, she’d be right on me. Could she possibly miss me? I hoped so, but hoping wouldn’t be good enough. My breathing quickened. I was sure she’d be able to hear it.
I couldn’t take the chance. I had to course to get away from her. Although I still wasn’t up to full strength after feeding from Steward, there was no choice. I turned and felt the mental click I was so used to, like my brain was switching to a higher state. My body became freer, and I started to let go.
Except, I couldn’t course. I hardly moved. It was like I was trying to run through quicksand, like something was pulling at me. I’d had dreams similar to this before, where I tried to run or react quickly to something—usually it had to do with Sara and trying to protect her—but I couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried. Those were always the worst dreams. I never thought it would happen in reality.
But there I was, struggling to move. I was sure the Custodian had seen me by then. There was no way she could miss me. Sure enough, I heard what sounded like snickering behind me.
“You can keep trying, little one. Exhaust yourself. It will make my job that much easier.” Her voice was like a female version of Steward’s, slightly higher-pitched. And colder. Much, much colder.
She hated me.
I could feel it.
“What’s… happening?” I whispered, still fighting against the pull she was clearly exerting over me. That was the only explanation.
The Custodian laughed. “Did you really think you’d be able to perform your little coursing trick here, little one? Did you think we wouldn’t have layer upon layer of enchantment in place?” She was beside me, then, moving slowly to keep pace with me.
I turned my head slightly to get a better look at her, but her robes concealed her.
“We protect ourselves against that very thing—well, that and many other forms of magic which can be found in our world. We can’t have ourselves being detected, now, can we?”
I studied her with narrowed eyes.
“You might as well give up.” She walked around until she was in front of me.
I did exactly as she said, though I didn’t want to. I didn’t mean to stop. Why did I stop? What was she doing to me?
She lowered her hood, and I saw she had the same deep, dark skin as Steward’s. Her eyes burned the same, too. She was beautiful in a cold, almost frightening way. It might have been the way she stared at me, like she was trying to get into my brain.
A tingling sensation began in my toes. I glanced down in surprise.
“No,” she said, her voice sharp. “Look at me. Into my eyes.”
I didn’t want to. It was the last thing I wanted to do. It was terrifying, how much I didn’t want to gaze into her eyes. Still, I raised my eyes to hers.
“That’s right,” she whispered. “Just look at me.”
So, I did. I let her stare deep into my eyes and delve into my mind. I actually felt her digging in. And the tingling started to intensify. It deepened and grew. It began spreading all through my body, until my body wasn’t my own anymore. I realized I had no control over myself—I told myself to move my arm, my leg, but nothing worked the way it should have.
Something wrapped itself around my senses. My eyes, my ears, my very thoughts. I wasn’t me anymore. I was someone else—no, something else. The tingling stopped, replaced by numbness. Complete numbness.
I opened my mouth, ready to scream, to curse her. Nothing came out. I strained until my eyes bulged, but there wasn’t a sound. All I could do was think, and my mind screamed. It screamed that I was trapped, that there was nothing I could do, that I was in bigger trouble than I’d ever been in.
The satisfaction in her eyes told me the Custodian knew I was under her control.
“Come with me.” She turned and beckoned me to follow.
I had no choice but to do what she wanted. My arms and legs moved without my controlling them. I wanted to stop. I couldn’t stop. I didn’t know where she was taking me, but I had no choice. I had to go there. I moved like I was in a dream, like my conscious decisions meant nothing.
We walked for a short while then took a right turn and continued along a narrow passage with water dripping down the walls on both sides. She could’ve been leading me off a cliff and there would have been nothing I could do about it.
We reached the end of the passage, where a small door led to a small room. We were far from everything else. How often did other Custodians come to this area? My gaze darted around the room since I couldn’t turn my head to look, still under the control of another. No scrolls, no books. Wonderful—the odds of somebody dropping by were slim, then. Of course, it wasn’t as if I was waiting for another of the Custodians to save me.
But Jonah. How would Jonah ever find me? Why hadn’t I listened to him?
“So, let’s find out a little more about you.”
Still under her control, I closed my eyes as the tall, dark figure drew closer to me.
“It’s all right,” she whispered.
I felt her rooting around in my mind, into my thoughts and memories, leaving me exposed and embarrassed. I wanted to push her out. I wanted to fight her. I couldn’t. She was much too strong for me. Was this what shades did? Invade the minds of others?
She gasped and took a step back. She was awed by something. Me?
“You’re part fae,” she whispered.
Oh, no.
I’d heard that sort of excitement in a voice before when the subject of my mixed blood came up.
“Do you know how special that makes you?” she went on, circling me. “Do you know how valuable you are? Not only to me, but to so many others and for so many reasons? Oh, thank you for crossing my path. You’re going to make me very powerful when I sell you.”
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Sell me? Not my blood, but me? To whom? To do what? What could anybody want with me? My flesh grew ran cold. Every conscious thought pointed toward fleeing, but there was no way to get my body to cooperate. Sweat trickled down the back of my neck even in the cold, dank room.
The door opened. My gaze cut in that direction. Jonah? Steward? No. Other Custodians. Other shades. So many of them. And all of them looked at me with contempt in their eyes.
“Who says you get to take her?” one of them asked my captor. A male. He reminded me of Steward, only there was no gentleness in his voice. I didn’t realize Steward had a gentle voice until I heard one of his brethren speak.
“Yes. Just because you saw her first doesn’t mean you get to take her for your own. We all know about her. We should get to split the proceeds.”
“Split them?” My captor laughed icily. “It doesn’t work that way, and you know it. I found her, I captured her, she’s mine. That’s the way of the world. Find somebody special of your own and you’ll get to keep the proceeds once she’s sold.”
Three or four different Custodians—shades, I needed to start thinking of them as shades and consider what they could do to me—circled around me. I heard them chuckling and whispering to each other. They thought it was funny I was under the control of one of them. Like I was a toy or an exhibit or something to amuse them.
“Make her slap herself,” one of them suggested. The shade who controlled me smiled, and the next thing I knew, my right hand drew back and crashed into the side of my face. Pain exploded in a hundred directions from that one central point. Tears stung my eyes, both from pain and humiliation.
“Again!” Another one pushed the others aside and stood in front of me. “I want to see it again. I want to see the look on her face when she does it.”
This time, it was my left hand. I slapped myself so hard my head snapped around. I willed myself not to let the pain show. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction if I could help it. Still, a single tear escaped and rolled down my cheek. Laughter filled the room, even over the sounds of bickering over who would get me for their own. Jonah had never seemed farther away than he did in this moment.
