by Rye Brewer
“That was when I met Lucian. He was human then, too, and we were roughly the same age. Only we were not at the same place in life. I was content where I was. Lucian, on the other hand, would never be satisfied. He had come from what is now part of France, seeking his fortune in other places. Only he hadn’t found it yet.
“Lucian’s family had been one of merchants, and he was very skilled at doing business. I knew all there was to know about working the land. He had a plan, he said. We would work together.
“It was intriguing. Lucian had a way of convincing those around him to do what he wanted. He managed to fill my head with stories of how wonderful life would be. We would be rich. We would eventually be able to stop working, hiring others to do it for us. If I stayed where I was, I would only know a life of back-breaking work until I died an early death from constant strain.
“I suppose I should thank him for convincing me. He was right.
“His family was wealthy, as merchants generally were in those days, and his father gave us the money to set up our endeavor.
“All went well for the first few years. It was hard work, but it was work I knew. I didn’t mind it. I enjoyed it. It made me happy.
“Then, Lucian met a girl.
“He took his time about introducing her to me. He wanted to make sure she shared his feelings before he did so. But he used to tell me about her, on and on. How beautiful she was, how clever and fiery and full of life. He was planning on sharing his life with her.
“I was happy for him, of course. He was my closest friend, the nearest thing I had to a brother while living so far from my family. I wanted to see him happy, settled down. He always seemed dissatisfied, always wanting more. I thought the presence of a wife and family of his own would settle him down. He would have something to work for other than his own glory.
“After months of courting, he announced he wanted us to meet. He brought her over for Sunday dinner. The entire day was spent in preparation.
“It was all very exciting—at least, for him. I remember watching him in amusement. I had never seen him lose his senses before, which told me how special this girl had to be.
“Then I met her, and I saw for myself.
“The instant my eyes met hers, when Lucian introduced us, I knew I was in love. It hit me like a bolt of lightning. I couldn’t have helped it any more than I could help my need to breathe air. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen—creamy skin, deep-red hair, sparkling blue eyes. She was frank and clever and charming, full of life as he’d described her. She always had a ready laugh, too, telling a joke or see the funny side of a situation. I could hardly stand being too close to her, since she made it hard to breathe. I could hardly look at her for too long.
“I didn’t want to feel that way. Please, don’t misunderstand me. I didn’t want to hurt my best friend. I wished she were anybody else. And I tried hard to keep my feelings for her at bay. I avoided her. I told myself to forget her, that Lucian loved her and she loved him. That they’d planned a life together, a life I had nothing to do with. I was a prosperous farmer by then, much more so than I ever would have been had I stayed near my family. I owed that to him. I owed him everything.
“But love can’t be helped. And what I didn’t know at the time, what I didn’t learn for several months, was she’d fallen in love with me, too. It had been the same for her as for me when we met. She’d fought it as I did, or she’d tried to out of loyalty to Lucian.
“It didn’t work, needless to say. One day, we crossed paths on the road leading to town. She looked so beautiful that day—more beautiful than I could remember seeing her. The crisp morning air put color in her cheeks, and the blue sky somehow made her eyes look more blue. I couldn’t help the surge I felt for her in my heart, like she was the entire world. I knew, when she looked straight into my eyes and took my hand as we spoke, she felt the same as I did.
“I can’t tell you how conflicted I felt. On one hand, my life was just beginning. She loved me. She had fought it as I had, but it was pointless. She loved me. We were meant to be. I just knew it. I had never loved before, you see, and I understood why that day on the road. I’d been waiting for her.
“On the other hand, the certainty of how crushed Lucian would be as a result was almost enough to shatter my happiness. I hated myself for being so weak. He trusted me, and he loved her. What could we do? I met with her as much as I possibly could, and we would always find ourselves talking about what to say to him. How could we tell him in a way that would lessen the pain? We had to do it, soon, because the more time that passed the worse it would be. We knew that much, though neither of us was exactly eager to get on with it.
“When we did tell him, holding hands to bolster each other, it was like witnessing a house fall. He seemed to crumble in front of us. The pain spread across his face and it felt like I was going through the same pain. I can’t tell you the way I recriminated myself for betraying him. I can’t say how many times I apologized, either. More than I could count.
“Needless to say, he refused to forgive me. I had considered that, of course. It was his nature—I’d betrayed him, you see. He couldn’t get past that. And so, rather than stay and face his heartbreak, he left. He became a mercenary soldier. None of us heard word from him, not even his family. He cut ties completely, either out of embarrassment over being jilted or because he wanted a new start.
“Elena and I were married, of course. You know what happened after that—you and Gage were born, then Philippa, then Scott. Years passed. You began to grow, all of you. I can’t tell you how much joy I felt, watching you all learn and love each other. You four reminded me of your mother with your high spirits and fiery tempers.
“I purchased land with the fortune I’d made and turned that into my business. It gave us greater stability. Life couldn’t have been better.
“Then, Lucian came back. I’ll never forget the day he walked into my office one evening to declare he’d returned.
“Immediately, I saw the change in him. He was pale, drawn, thin. His eyes seemed to glow in a way they never had before. He assured me he had never felt better, too, even when I expressed concern over the change in him. He wouldn’t tell me where he’d been or where he was going. I thought, maybe time had softened him. Maybe he’d gotten over what happened and had moved on.
“I didn’t know he was a vampire then. I didn’t know such things existed—there had been legends, but that was as far as my understanding went. This was centuries ago, of course, and we were less knowledgeable about such things.
“I brought him home to dinner, at his insistence. You were very young, around six years old, so you might not remember that night. He was charming and warm. He took each of you children on his knee and asked you questions and told jokes to make you laugh. I was sure we could go back to the way things were before.
“Then, the following day, he turned your mother to a vampire.
“His plan was to force her to be with him forever. He thought she would leave me and the children, maybe out of shame. It was the only way he could think to win. He’d never stopped loving her, you see, but his love had turned to obsession over the years. And hatred had hardened it. He was determined to take her by any means necessary.
“What he didn’t count on was she would tell me what he’d done.
“She didn’t run from me. She gave me the choice of joining her, instead. I can’t pretend I didn’t need to think long and hard about it first—though I loved her more than anything, it meant giving up life as I knew it. But there was no point in existing without her. And so, I agreed. And I’ve never regretted that choice, as I’ve never regretted the decision to marry your mother. The happiest years of my life were spent with her, and with you.
“Lucian has never forgiven me for what I did in taking her away and, again, in allowing her to change me. Then I turned you, too, all of you once you were old enough to decide for yourselves if you wanted to join us. We were still a family, whi
ch was the last thing he wanted us to be. He hated our happiness. He’s never been able to get over it, even after a century and a half.”
When Fane’s voice trailed off, the silence was nearly deafening. I’d never had the slightest idea. I didn’t remember Lucian visiting, either, though it made sense, considering how young I was when he had. No one remembered everything that happened when they were six years old—especially when they’d already lived as long as I.
“And you think he’s done something as a result of this?” I asked. “You think he’s getting his revenge?”
Fane’s mouth twisted into a grim smile. “I think he’s been celebrating his revenge for years now.”
29
Anissa
I was so pissed, I swear I could almost see red.
I couldn’t believe Jonah would leave me like this. After we had damned near broken our necks to get back to each other, he left me with my father and ran away.
Why?
Why?
Why?
“Come.” Gregor took me by the arm without waiting for me to reply. I had no choice but to go with him through the portal and into Avellane. On the one hand, it was a relief to leave the uncertainty and worry behind. I didn’t have to fear for my safety with my father and his kinsmen—that much I knew for sure. But what good did that do without Jonah?
He must have read the expression on my face, because my father spoke to me before leading me much farther into the settlement.
“It was for the best.” His voice was softer than it had been.
That didn’t do much to ease the anger I felt toward him. “You could’ve let Jonah come with us,” I grumbled.
“No, I couldn’t have.”
“Yes, you could have. You have the power to do that. And you could’ve done it for me.” I planted my feet, knowing I was being a stubborn baby but acting like one anyway. I was far too hurt to care very much.
“One day, you’ll understand better. Now, let’s go.” He took my arm again.
I told myself he wasn’t dragging me to his home, but that was how it felt.
I sensed gazes on me, eyes looking down from windows carved into the tall, tall trees. They knew why I was here. They had to know I’d already turned my father down when he tried to bring me with him to stay. I ran away. I wondered what they thought of the wayward daughter returning to her fae roots, then told myself it didn’t matter very much. They didn’t know what I’d gone through. They had no idea how difficult it was for me to swallow my pride and come back when I’d only just refused his protection days earlier.
Yet, no matter how turbulent my thoughts were—and they practically boiled in my brain—my surroundings soon worked their way into my head and heart. I felt my pulse slowing, my fevered thoughts calming as peace crept over me. I would always feel a connection to the trees and lush, almost overgrown grasses and flowers. The sight of the crisscrossing vine bridges far above my head awed me as much as it had when I first saw them. I couldn’t shake the feeling I was home, even though I knew I couldn’t make it my home if that meant not being with Jonah.
Jonah who had deserted me.
“I’ve had your chambers freshened up,” Gregor informed me in the tone of voice a person used when they were granting a great gift to someone else.
I bit back the snide remark on the tip of my tongue, since the last thing I needed to do was alienate him. He was protecting me, the way a father would. Without him, I’d be out there with nowhere to go, at the mercy of those who wished to do me harm.
“Thank you.” I had to choke the words out, but I meant them.
When we stepped into the elevator, or what passed for an elevator but was more like a cage hoisted by a pulley system made of limbs and vines, the light grew stronger and brighter.
I peered down at my hands to find them unharmed. “It’s not sunlight.” I remembered the way my skin had burned and blistered the last time I’d been exposed to the rays.
“No, it isn’t real sunlight.” That was all he would tell me. I supposed he didn’t want to reveal all of the fae secrets with me, especially when he didn’t know whether or not I would be staying. I could see the sense in that, even if I was growing a little tired of never knowing the full truth of anything.
My chambers were as I remembered them—large, comfortable, and close to my father’s. He wanted to keep tabs on me. Well, at least I would have space of my own. The presence of a bed made me smile again. They forgot I didn’t need to sleep, though it was good to know I’d be comfortable while resting. I hadn’t done that in so long. I needed to regain my strength after coursing. First, there were more important things to address.
There was one very good thing about being here, one thing which picked my mood up instantly: taking a bath. It felt so good to wash away the layers of dirt and blood I’d been carrying on my skin. Like I could wash away the entire, horrible memory. I had killed an Enforcer. I had fed on him, breaking our pact with the humans. What did they think after they found his body lying there in the forest? It galled me that humans did nothing to curb the Enforcers. But that was another matter.
Did they take the news of my actions to the league? I’d done what I had to do—sure, if I hadn’t gotten myself into the situation by sneaking around the Sanctuary, I wouldn’t have had to do it. I hadn’t seen any other option at the moment. I needed Jonah.
And where did it get me? Abandonment. It seemed like we were always saying goodbye, didn’t it? Would we ever have a time when it could just be us?
When I left the bath, wrapped in a towel so soft I was sure it was made of magical cloth—and maybe it was, for all I knew—there were clothes waiting for me. So much happened behind-the-scenes, it was a little unnerving. If I stayed there, which I had no intention of doing, I would have to get used to others doing work like that for me. Coming and going while trying not to disturb me.
A knock sounded at the door.
I pulled a long tunic over my head and belted it at my waist before answering. There was a girl outside, and when I first looked at her, I thought she was my sister. That was how much she reminded me of her, the expression on her face.
It wasn’t, naturally. I told myself I was thinking of Sara and that made me think the stranger looked like her. Of course, they weren’t much alike, not really. The white-blonde hair was the first and major difference.
“Hi,” she said, sounding shy.
“Hello.”
“Your father told me you were here, and that you might need help with things.”
“Such as what?” Why did he always have to stick his nose in? I didn’t need a servant, if that was what she was getting at.
“You know, getting around, finding things. He’s very busy, of course. He thought you might like a companion or two of your own age.” She shrugged a little, smiling.
“You mean you’re my bodyguard.” I grinned.
“No, he didn’t make it sound like that.”
Yes, but I knew my father already. He had taken Jonah’s mention of my running away to heart. He didn’t want to risk losing me again.
“You can come in, if you want.” There was more than enough room for two of us and, irritating though it was to have company thrust on me, it was nice not being alone. The girl swept into the room with unspeakable grace. She almost floated over the wood floor, and her long, shining hair rippled when she moved. It was like magic, and she drew my eye to her no matter where she moved. “What’s your name?”
“Oh, of course.” She held out her hand. “I’m Ardella.” Her smile was bright, shining. She seemed to glow from the inside. Once again, I felt an affinity toward one of my own. I felt like I belonged, even if I was part-vampire. The more time I spent among the fae, the more I understood about myself.
Once I finished dressing, adding a long cloak of sky-blue fabric that shimmered a little in the false sunlight, Ardella and I went for a walk along the bridges connecting the innumerable trees that made up the settlement.
“
Do you know how many trees there are?” I asked.
She shook her head. “I don’t think there’s any way to know. Many, many. More than one creature could count.”
“And how many of you are there?”
“Us? You mean, our kind? Your kind?” She gave me a slight smile, and her eyes were understanding.
“I’m sorry.” I glanced down, a little embarrassed. “It’s not easy, feeling like I belong to two worlds at once.”
She looked up and waved at another girl who approached from another bridge, several trees away. We waited for her. I wondered if this was another one of my guards. Why stop at one when I could have two? I held back my opinion. Ardella seemed nice enough, so why make things uncomfortable between us?
“Hello.” The second fae greeted me with a benevolent smile and a hug. An actual hug. I didn’t know they hugged. She was the warmest of all of the fae I’d met so far. “I’m Marigold. I heard you were here. I didn’t get the chance to meet you when you stayed with us before, so I’m glad to have the chance to meet you now.”
“You wanted to meet me?” I asked, laughing a little. Ardella laughed, too.
“Who wouldn’t?” Marigold moved her gaze from me to Ardella and back again. “You’re famous.”
“Famous?” I pointed to myself, eyes wide.
“She’s exaggerating a little—but just a little.” Ardella linked arms with me. “Come on. Let’s get something to eat and we can talk about it.”
“Eat?” I didn’t eat.
Their faces fell.
“Oh. I forgot about that,” Ardella said.
They glanced at each other.
“Well, I’m sure Gregor will provide for you,” Marigold added. “Do you mind if we eat?”
“No, of course not.”
