But Derek took control. Once again, he pulled her arm through his and walked her back to the triplex. He cleared his throat. “Would you like to catch the fireworks on Wednesday?”
“Do they serve a good cocktail? Something with little explosives in it?” CJ was pulling out all the humor she could muster to hide her nervousness.
“Ha. No. And if they did, I wouldn’t let you near one! The display starts at nine o’clock. We could grab some dinner beforehand if you’d like.” Derek was hoping this lovely, mysterious woman would agree.
“I would like that very much. And I promise to behave.” CJ took the initiative and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Thank you again.”
She turned quickly, so he wouldn’t see her blushing. What came over me? I cannot believe I was so forward. But then her face broke into a wry smile. Yes, this is the new and improved CJ. Carolyn. Whatever. She was beginning to like the person she was becoming.
“A pleasure. I’ll stop by around six thirty. See you Wednesday.” Derek turned on his heel, raised his right arm in victory, and somehow resisted the temptation to skip all the way home.
Chapter 22
Derek and Randy Wellington had been raised to respect the sea. Their dad had taught them the rules of boating at a very young age, and each of them had gotten his license as a teenager. Their mother encouraged them to study hard in school so they could go to college. She didn’t want her boys to have the same kind of life their father and uncle had.
Yes, there were good times and sometimes profits, but danger always hung in the air like a dense fog. According to the US government, fishing was second on the list of “The Ten Most Dangerous Jobs for Men.” Why Eleanor “Ellie” Bessler married a fishing-boat captain was not a mystery, though. She had fallen in love with Jacob Wellington when he was the tight end on the high-school football team. It was a typical small-town story. With Boothbay having fewer than three thousand residents year-round, it was very difficult not to know everyone; and with only a couple of hundred students in school at any given time, it was a sure bet that as a student yourself, you’d either be related to or dating one.
Ellie’s dad was the local pharmacist, and she helped in the summers, when the vacationers and yachters arrived. She had fond memories of the time in 1956 when a movie crew came into town to do some location filming for the “June Is Bustin’ Out All Over” sequence in the movie Carousel. She was just five years old, but she could still recall how excited everyone was to have real movie stars in their midst. It was probably one of the only glamorous experiences in her life. Because her father owned the local pharmacy, the production team was in and out of there on a daily basis and gave her family special access to watch the filming of the extravagant dance sequence. It wasn’t until two years later that they would actually get to see it on the big screen, and to do that they had to drive over an hour to Portland, which had the only movie theater within one hundred fifty miles.
Ellie was mesmerized by how big Boothbay looked, and exclaimed with delight when she recognized a few neighbors who, on their sailboats, were used as extras during the sequence. She decided at that moment she would be a dancer and go off to be in a musical spectacular just like the one she was watching. But that didn’t happen. Not even the dancer part. By the time she was eight, she had lost interest in most things artistic and decided she wanted to be a pharmacist just like her dad. The fact that her parents and other relatives kept drilling into her mind the idea that she would never stand a chance at show business had squashed all her dreams, and she buried her nose in books.
Once she entered high school, the only two options she seemed to have after she graduated were to get married or try for a scholarship to the University of New England. She had been dating Jacob Wellington since her junior year, and that relationship made getting married the logical choice. She knew she’d be lost somewhere else, even if it was only an hour away. It was 1969, and times were tumultuous. Vietnam, civil rights, burning bras and draft cards, and books like Portnoy’s Complaint and movies like Easy Rider were sure signs that there was a cultural shift occurring, and it was not necessarily a good one—at least so it seemed to a small-town girl like Ellie Bessler. There was that horrible murder spree during which Sharon Tate and four other people in Hollywood were killed, and on the opposite side of the country, a half million hippies had descended upon a small town called Woodstock for a rock-and-roll festival. Even though we had managed to put a man on the moon, that didn’t mean Ellie was comfortable about leaving the peaceful, calm, and happy life in which she had grown up to enter a world seemingly in turmoil. It was a no-brainer that staying close to home was the safest alternative.
Jacob, on the other hand, was intent on going to college, which created a great deal of conflict between the two of them. But after he left, he kept his word and came home on weekends, and when he couldn’t, Ellie would visit him. He had applied to the University of Maine and majored in marine biology. When he graduated in 1973, instead of pursuing an advanced degree and entering the academy as a teacher and researcher, he decided that what he really wanted to do was to own his own boat—a fishing boat. It was something that his brother Adam was very passionate about. So, right after Jacob graduated, he and Adam bought a weathered seventy-foot boat and set their minds to starting a charter fishing business. The path they set out on was the same one many others in their town had followed.
Ellie wasn’t bitter about having squandered her opportunity for higher education. She was bitter because she thought she had sacrificed her own future for one that was safe and predictable as a wife. But she loved Jacob, so she was going to follow her heart, no matter how much worry life with him would involve.
The first four years of their marriage were a struggle. Jacob and Adam poured every penny they earned into the cranky vessel, and Ellie continued to run the family pharmacy as the store manager. If she had gotten her degree, she could have been filling prescriptions and making more money, but that wasn’t in the cards. Not anymore. They both had to work to keep a roof over their heads and took every precaution to avoid having children. Being parents was not fiscally prudent, but in 1977, Ellie missed her period two months in a row. She was pregnant with Derek.
The additional expense of a child forced Jacob to work more hours, going on long and dangerous trips on commercial fishing boats to supplement their income. Ellie lived in a constant state of anxiety and despair. At first, everyone thought it was postpartum depression, but to Ellie it was “husband-boat-captain” angst. She was never fully comfortable and found it impossible to relax. Even when Jacob and Adam returned from a trip, she knew it was just a matter of days before he would be in harm’s way again.
Then, two years later, she found herself pregnant with Randy, and this time postpartum depression hit with a vengeance. And the depression lasted for years. Derek remembered being eight years old when an ambulance had to take his mother to the hospital. She had overdosed on Valium. Though she survived the episode, Derek found it hard not to wonder why she had done it. Didn’t she love them? Why would she want to leave them?
After the attempted suicide, Ellie was admitted to a long-term nursing facility for several months until she “felt better.” But she never did. At least not for a very long time. Yes, she resumed her wifely and motherly duties, but she was always sad or distant, only going through the motions of everyday life.
After a decade of walking on eggshells around his mother, Derek left for college and majored in political science. He wanted to make a difference and was planning to go into local and state government. Randy still had two years of high school left and spent all his free time helping his father and uncle with the charter-boat business.
During Derek’s years at college, Randy had become even more skilled around boats. Derek could have been jealous of his brother’s expertise if he hadn’t admired his younger brother so much for pursuing something he was fervent about. In addition, since by 1999 politics had become a dirty business, D
erek decided to join his family in an enterprise where he could do something that mattered. Mattered to the people he loved. By then, his dad was not in the best physical condition, but Derek knew that as skilled as Randy was, he couldn’t run the company—such as it was. Randy had the physical skills but no business sense. Derek, on the other hand, had the business sense. The similarity between the two brothers on the one hand and their father and uncle on the other was uncanny. Two generations of fishermen—despite having been given other opportunities—lured to the dangers that lurked in the depths of the sea.
When Ellie had first heard about Derek’s decision to help purchase another boat, she thought she would fall apart. Her husband and now her two sons were challenging the deep every day. When Derek first returned from college, he lived with his folks for a short time. He knew that fairly soon he would have to find his own space. The tension between his parents was too thick to be endured indefinitely. Ellie blamed Jacob for influencing their sons to enter a life of backbreaking and dangerous work. Jacob would respond by telling her that they were grown men who know their own minds. To which Ellie would reply that he had brainwashed them.
It wasn’t until after Derek moved out and Jacob had a mild stroke—which Ellie blamed on that awful movie, in which the Andrea Gail was lost at sea during a nor’easter— that Ellie decided to start cooking. This helped her to cope with her anxiety, which in turn allowed some kind of harmony between husband and wife. With Jacob out of action, the burden of keeping the business alive fell on the two sons, and that dreadful film was scaring off their regular customers. It took months of rehab before Jacob could function at almost 90 percent. He was still having trouble with his left hand, but he was determined to continue to work at the business.
When Ellie finally accepted that she was fighting a losing battle, she decided it was time to find her own niche, so she decided to become part of what she considered a thoroughly unreasonable way to make a living. She set out to provide meals for their customers at a modest cost. With two boats in the family business, she thought she just might make a few dollars at it and began a small catering company, working out of her own kitchen. It wasn’t fancy, just simple food that could be packed and carried and kept fresh on ice and heated in the boat’s microwave. There was nothing like hot stew at the end of a very cold day of struggling with game fish.
Jacob spent less and less time at sea and more and more time peeling potatoes, which mollified Ellie to a certain point. Now, with just the two of them living at home, they were able to settle into a peaceful coexistence—at least until the next nor’easter.
Derek moved out when he found a comfortable studio apartment within walking distance of his folks’ house and the dock. He’d stop by every morning to check on them and to see what Ellie was cooking and if Jacob was up for some light swabbing of the deck.
The ritual continued until 2013, when Derek met Jennifer Parker during the Harbor Lights Festival. She had been visiting friends just before the holidays, and Derek was smitten. Jennifer had been a beauty queen and lived in New York City with several other aspiring models and actresses. Ten years his junior, she appreciated his very steady, solid, responsible approach to life. They maintained a long-distance relationship for a couple of years, but after too many incidents of sexual harassment on job interviews and photo shoots, she decided a quieter lifestyle might suit her better and suggested she should move to Boothbay Harbor.
“But what about your career?” Derek asked, happily stunned at her suggestion.
“It gets harder as you get older. I’m going to be twenty-eight this year. I’m already considered ‘over the hill’ at most agencies. Besides, I want to have a family someday.” Jennifer sounded convincing.
“Wow. I guess it’s time we had ‘the talk.’ I’m closing in on forty myself, so yeah. Let’s make some plans.” Derek had been so focused on his family business he really hadn’t thought much about starting a family of his own, and now, with this beautiful woman at his side, it seemed like doing so was possible.
“If I move up here, what kind of work would I get? I’m sure I won’t be doing any modeling.” Jennifer might be skeptical, but she was determined not to let an opportunity for stability slip through her hands. Not this time.
“Well, you’re certainly not going to become a fishmonger or a sea rat!” Derek took her hand and kissed it. “We’ll figure it out. Maybe you can help my mom with her catering business.”
“Derek, you know I don’t cook.”
“Okay, how about managing one of the boutiques? You certainly have an eye and expertise when it comes to fashion.”
“Fashion? In this town?” Jennifer sounded a bit superior.
“Yes. This town. It’s a yachter’s paradise in the summer, and I can tell you that there are a lot of women with big wallets and their hubbies’ plastic who have nothing better to do but shop. I’ll talk to Mona. She goes to New York several times a year during fashion week. I’m sure she’d appreciate your experience.” Derek was pleased with his solution and dialed Mona’s number on the spot. Since Mona was very fond of the Wellington family, she promised to hire Jennifer on a small salary-and-commission basis, and yes, Jennifer could accompany her to the city if she paid her own travel expenses.
Within a few months, Jennifer arrived with her things, and Derek realized they needed a much bigger place to live. The studio would not be suitable, and he knew that Jennifer could be a bit of a snob. She would expect something less of a man cave and more lavish. Fortunately, that summer had proven to be lucrative and he was able to find a beautiful two-bedroom with a view of the harbor to rent. He would do anything to please this woman and assure her comfort and security. But Jennifer never seemed satisfied. Their relationship had been long-distance until they set up a household, which meant that the time they had spent together was minimal—a week at a time at the most.
After the first year of living together, he came to realize just how spoiled she was. Even Mona gingerly mentioned that Jennifer had a bit of an elitist attitude with some of the customers. Derek defended her by saying that she was trying to find her way in a new and different place. But deep down something about the situation didn’t feel quite right. Every time he brought up the subject of marriage, she would say she wanted to be sure they could afford a real house—not an apartment, or that she wanted more financial security. The idea of starting a family with her had pretty much disappeared—she had just about become a “friend with benefits,” so he was not all that shocked when he came home to a one-word note left on the table. He was embarrassed, but not surprised.
Of course, those who knew him assumed that he was devastated, and he saw no reason to disabuse them. And though after his experience with Jennifer he was wary of getting involved with anyone else, on balance he probably felt more relieved than angry at her abrupt departure.
Derek threw himself into his work and kept up with his hobby of following the political scene—nearby and nationally. Even though he had chosen a different vocation, his interest in government had never waned. He was very active in communicating with his representatives and attending council meetings.
“If you don’t tell them what you want or expect, they’ll never know. It’s up to us to keep them on track! Do something! Send an e-mail! If you spent even one percent of the time you wasted on Facebook and contacted your senators or congressmen, maybe our country wouldn’t be as screwed up as it is.” That was his battle cry when everyone would bitch and complain—the one thing that could get Derek all riled up.
The Monday afternoon before his fireworks date with Carolyn, he was almost certain that she reminded him of someone he had seen, or seen a picture of, somewhere. Maybe it was the Uma Thurman thing, but he wasn’t quite sure. Until he Googled her, Derek couldn’t even quite remember what Uma Thurman looked like, so he didn’t think that was it. Yes, there was a slight resemblance, especially the hair and the big eyes, but it was something beyond those things that made him think he had s
een her before. Unable to figure it out, he shrugged and looked through his closet, picking out his favorite shirt and slacks. He also decided that he would take a plastic parka with him, like those they would hand out to their customers if the weather became inclement. That should set off a laugh or two. He liked her, a lot, but it dawned on him that he knew practically nothing about her. Odd. She said very little at dinner since he had done most of the talking. He shrugged again. Maybe he’d pry more out of her on Wednesday. He was happy to have some companionship during the Windjammer Days. It had been almost exactly a year since Jennifer had given him the heave-ho, and for now, Carolyn would be a nice distraction.
Chapter 23
CJ was a mix of emotions that Monday morning. She had spent time with a very nice, charming man two days before. Aside from her gastrointestinal issue, it had been a lovely afternoon that lingered into the early evening. And now she had a second date with him. A date. Even though that was a foreign activity for her, she was rather keen about it. She was also anticipating her first phone call with Colin since she had been in Witness Protection. It seemed like a lifetime to her. She wanted to share what seemed to be her changing feelings about being so close to the water, but knew she could not reveal any information as to her whereabouts.
A light rap on the door broke into CJ’s deep thoughts. It was Donna, ready to take her to the Portland location of the US Marshals office, where she could speak freely to Colin on a landline. Cell towers, no matter how secure the server, would show any kind of ping. This would require a highly protected connection.
“So?” Donna peeked her head in the door with a strong vibe of curiosity in her voice. “How was your outing on Saturday?”
“Aside from making a total fool of myself, it was quite nice actually.”
“What do you mean, ‘fool’?”
“Let’s just say I overestimated my ability to consume alcohol. And I owe Derek a new shirt.”
Deep Harbor Page 23
