by Tara Sivec
CHAPTER 13
A good man can make you feel strong, full of energy, and ready to take on the world. No, sorry…that’s coffee. Coffee does that.
—Coffee Mug
“I’m watching you, you little rat bastard. Don’t you dare take a dump on this front lawn,” I mutter under my breath while kneeling on the couch, my arms resting on the back of it while staring out of Emma Jo’s window at Bo Jangles as he sniffs his way from Starla’s yard to this one.
The ugly little mongrel’s head jerks up and looks right at me, almost as if he could hear me and I give him a middle finger salute.
After the chaos of today and now that there are no longer people milling around the house, Emma Jo went upstairs to take a nap as soon as Jed’s body was taken away. Jerk-face Leo came inside and held Emma Jo’s face in his hands when he told her all soft and sweet that they would wait until it got dark outside and people went back inside their homes before taking him away. I want to feel bad about calling him a jerk-face considering he knew Emma Jo would freak out if the neighbors saw Jed’s body being wheeled out from the backyard. He knew it and he solved the problem before it even became one, leaving Emma Jo with nothing to do but smile and thank him for being so thoughtful and good to her.
And really, if I wasn’t so annoyed with him, I’d probably be halfway in love with him for the way he handled Emma Jo all day. He kept her updated on everything they were doing; he spoke to her in a calm, soothing voice; he made sure she ate something by calling one of his other deputies and having him bring over a whole kitchen full of groceries; he kept the nosey neighbors at bay; he answered the house phone whenever it rang when he was inside; and his eyes always went to her when he was too far away to speak, silently checking to make sure she wasn’t two seconds away from a completely meltdown. Oh, and he made up a lie to tell my mother about how the sheriff’s department was using Emma Jo’s backyard for some kind of law enforcement training, explaining to her we couldn’t join her at the Hungry Bear because we’d volunteered to help them if they needed it.
Okay, so that kind of helped me out too since I didn’t have to sit through breakfast with my mother where she would have grilled me about pining away for Leo all these years. I don’t think I would have been very good at squashing those rumors, while at the same time not letting it slip that Emma Jo’s husband was dead and I helped make the poisoned toilet pie that killed him and, “Oh, by the way, his rotting corpse was in Emma Jo’s backyard when you stopped by. Who wants dessert? I’d avoid the blueberry pie if I were you.” Since my mother quickly realized she wouldn’t be getting any dirt from me anytime soon, she told me if I didn’t come to the house tomorrow she’d take me out of her will, and then she left and all was quiet and peaceful again.
Whatever. Just because Leo did one little thing that helped me out does not mean I’m going to stop thinking he’s a jerk-face. He literally went out of his way to ignore me all day. It was almost like he knew I was guilty…
Holy shit. HOLY SHIT! He knows I’m guilty!
Was he looking through the kitchen window when I cleaned up our pie mess and stashed it in the hall closet? Did he see remnants of blueberry pie around Jed’s mouth when he was looking at the body? He was there last night when Jed attacked me, but who knows how long he’d been there before he cocked his gun and told Jed to get away from me. Did he hear me tell Jed I’d rip off his balls and make him choke on them? If he didn’t, he sure as hell heard me when I ordered him to give me his gun so I could shoot Jed in the junk. The sheriff of Bald Knob heard me threaten one of its citizens, who just so happened to wind up dead in his own backyard, where I’m currently staying. And the only thing he said to me all day today was not to leave town and that he needed me to come down to the station to answer some questions.
Oh, my God. He definitely knows I’m guilty!
Before I can start screaming and lose my shit all over Emma Jo’s living room, the streetlamps outside illuminate Bo Jangle’s scrawny little ass as he squats right in the middle of the side yard, looking back over his shoulder at me.
“You psychotic little maggot, are you seriously taking a dump and giving me the side-eye while you’re doing it? I will punt you like a football right through Starla’s bedroom window, asshole,” I threaten him through the glass, pointing two fingers at my eyes and then at him.
“It’s been a long day, can you please try and avoid killing the neighbor’s dog? I can’t deal with another phone call from Starla Godfrey complaining about you.”
My head whips around when I hear Leo’s voice to find him lounging against the doorframe between the front hallway and the living room. He’s no longer in his sheriff’s uniform, but sweet mother of God, he’s wearing those same worn jeans he had on at the hospital. The ones that hug his ass and thighs and look like he’s spent a lot of hours doing manual labor in them while getting all hot and sweaty and…hot. He’s got his hands in the front pockets, pulling them down so they ride low on his hips, and he’s wearing a dark blue t-shirt that clings to his chest and biceps, the cut of his muscles highlighted through the soft cotton material like he just got finished with a wet t-shirt contest. His forearms are lightly tanned just like his face, and I wonder if his parents still own the sweet corn farm out on the edge of town and that’s where he got some sun. I also wonder what kind of exercise one does in order to get that kind of muscle definition in the forearms I’m currently staring at while they flex as he pulls his hands out of his pockets.
“How the hell did you get in here?”
High-five to me for managing to spit that out instead of “Can I lick your forearms and let you bench-press my body above your head?”
Leo pushes away from the wall and walks across the room, not answering the question until he sits down next to me on the couch, leaving only a few inches between us. The warm weather outside that heated his skin radiates off him and brings with it the faint woodsy smell of his cologne that rendered me stupid and speechless earlier today.
“You smell like outside,” I mumble under my breath.
Great, so the speechless part has decided to fuck me over, and oh, hey! Hello there, stupidity!
One corner of his mouth tips up but thankfully, he doesn’t say anything about my moronic comment. With the way he’s got me all jumbled up in the head right now, there’s no telling what would have happened if he said something cocky. I did just kill a man, after all. Leo should probably fear me.
“I got in here by turning the handle and opening the front door,” he informs me, answering my previous question. “The owner of this house was just murdered in the backyard. You and Emma Jo should probably keep the doors locked.”
He’s still giving me that cocky little smirk, and I start wondering if he’s doing it because he knows it annoys me, or as some sort of inside joke between us because he knows we murdered Jed and he’s all Ha ha, get it? It’s funny because the murders are actually IN the house! Then I start thinking Leo should get some new material because he’s not funny AT ALL, and then what he said finally sinks in.
Seriously, why does he have to be so hot and smell so good? My brain has the dumb and it’s all his fault.
“M-murdered? You s-said murdered,” I stutter. “So, it definitely wasn’t a heart-attack?”
Leo sighs and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and stares down at his hands clasped between them.
“I can’t say much because there needs to be an official investigation now, but yes. Jed Jackson was definitely murdered,” Leo confirms, lowering his voice and glancing toward the stairs that lead up to the bedrooms.
“She’s asleep. She passed out a few hours ago. Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure after the day she’s had, not even a dump truck crashing through the front door would wake her,” I reassure him, knowing immediately that he’s concerned about Emma Jo overhearing what he said.
Leo nods and since he’s still busy looking down at his hands, I can stare at his profile as much as I want without i
t being creepy or him making some stupid comment about picturing him naked. Which, I mean, I am, but it’s not like he needs to know that. I realize as I sit here looking at him just how hard all of this must be on him as well, and I feel a tiny bit guilty about how many times I called him a jerk and also for that song I made up when I took another shower after Emma Jo went to bed.
It was to the tune of Wind Beneath My Wings and went a little something like, “Did you ever know that you’re a jeeeee-eeeerk? You’re everything I wish I could punch…” It was a lovely little ditty with stellar lyrics, but now I think I’ll keep it to myself instead of serenading him.
Sitting this close to Leo and studying his face, I immediately see how exhausted he is. His short hair is all messed up on top of his head and I can picture him running his hands through it in frustration and worry. Not only did someone in the town Leo has sworn to protect die, and that someone was the mayor, he was murdered. Something like that has never happened in Bald Knob as far as I know. On top of dealing with the murder of one of his citizens, Leo also has Emma Jo to worry about, as well as figuring out how to break it to this town that their leader was killed and that killer is still out there somewhere.
Or, you know, sitting right next to him.
“You’ve had a long day too, huh?” I ask softly, turning away from the window to sit facing him, crisscrossing my legs in front of me.
I decide to suck it up, stop feeling sorry for myself, and play nice. If anything, this is the guy who could potentially keep me from being Big Bertha’s bitch in the clink and fighting for packs of smokes in the yard. I’m not a fighter, or a smoker, so it really wouldn’t end well for me.
“You have no idea…” Leo trails off, finally lifting his head up to gaze at me.
His blue eyes stare right into mine, and even though they look tired and like they’ve seen way too much for one day, they’re still mesmerizing and I have a hard time looking away.
“How about you? How are you doing?” he asks gently, his voice filled with the honesty of his worry as he cocks his head to the side waiting for my answer.
Just like that, the spell is broken and I forget all about what kind of stress he’s under because he drives me insane and something about him triggers the part of my brain that does all my rational thinking for me and renders it useless.
“Oh, so NOW want to know how I’m doing? You spent all day ignoring me and never once showed any kind of concern for my wellbeing, but by all means, go ahead and act like you care now, when the most traumatic day of my life is almost over,” I tell him with a roll of my eyes as I push up from the couch to get away from him.
He doesn’t say a word, just sits there and watches me pace back and forth when I get to the other side of the room where I can’t smell him or get another urge to lick his arm.
“I’ve never seen a dead body before, but I’ve especially never seen the dead body of someone I know, who was married to my best friend. But don’t worry, I’m fine. I’m totally fine!” I shout through my manic pacing. “I left my life and my business and everything I know and love to fly back home for the first time in twelve years to find out my best friend has been getting the shit kicked out of her since I left. But it’s okay, I’m fine!”
I don’t glance over at Leo while I rant because I know if I take one look at him my brain will shut down and my ovaries will take over, so I keep right on walking in a circle and bitching out loud.
“I can’t cry, I can’t scream, and I can’t lose my shit because my best friend needs me to be the strong one, but hey, I’m fine. And really, it’s not like I’d actually cry over that asshole, but I’d at least like to have that option and maybe have someone checking to make sure I’m doing okay. But noooooooooooo, you just looked the other way all day and made sure everyone else was okay and didn’t say one word to me because I didn’t fucking recognize you when I first saw you and I didn’t apologize right away for that or for using the name Liquid Crack or for whatever the hell else I did to make you act like I don’t exist and DIDN’T JUST SEE MY FIRST DEAD BODY!” I rant in one long, run-on sentence without taking a breath.
I finally stop pacing when I see Leo get up from the couch and move toward me. Scratch that, he’s not just moving in my direction, he’s stalking across the carpet with his hands fisted tightly at his sides and a muscle ticking in his jaw. I take a step back when he gets right up in front of me, a little freaked out by the serious look in his eyes, but he quickly leans down and wraps one of his arms around me, yanking my body to his.
“What are you doing?” I whisper in a garbled voice while I stare up at his face and his arm tightens around me, pulling me up on my tip-toes and as close to him as possible until my breasts are pressed against the rock-hard wall of his chest.
He doesn’t answer me as his eyes trail slowly down over my face and his free hand comes up between us. I swallow thickly and let out a shaky breath when the tips of his fingers ever-so-lightly feather across the skin of my throat, right where the red mark Jed’s choking hold left behind last night.
“Do you have any idea how hard it was to remember I’m an officer of the law and I couldn’t just shoot that fucker when I saw him put his hands on you?” Leo asks in a rough, low voice. “I’ve never had to shoot my gun in the line of duty, and I’ve never wanted to as badly as I did last night.”
I can’t speak, I can’t think, and I can’t move. I don’t know what’s happening right now. All I know is that there is nothing hotter than Leo Hudson holding me against him, saying all the things I needed to hear from him and then some.
“I’ve spent years sitting on the sidelines, knowing what that asshole was doing to Emma Jo and not being able to do anything about it because she refused to admit it. All of those years feeling helpless, but it was nothing compared to walking up to that porch and seeing him hurting you,” he admits as he continues to stare down at my neck and graze his fingertips over the still-tender skin.
He flattens his palm lightly against my throat, then slides his hand up to my jaw, holding my face while he brushes the pad of his thumb back and forth across my cheek.
“I’m sorry I didn’t make sure you were okay today. You were always the strongest person I’ve ever known, and I made the mistake of assuming you didn’t need or want anyone to take care of you.”
I finally remember how to speak, swallowing a few times before I open my mouth to make sure my words don’t come out with on a high-pitched squeak to echo my nerves.
“So, you avoided me today just because you thought I could take care of myself?” I ask, meeting his eyes when he finally looks away from my throat to look at my face.
“No, not just because of that. Mostly, because twelve years is a really fucking long time to have the same fantasy playing in your head over and over again.”
My eyes narrow in confusion and he brings his face closer, pausing when his lips are hovering right over mine, almost touching but not quite.
“I didn’t talk to you today and I didn’t come near you today because I was in uniform and I was working, and I knew if I saw the slightest hint that you were going to crumble or I got close enough to touch you, I’d never be able to stop myself from doing what I’ve been dreaming about for twelve fucking years,” he says softly, his breath skating across my lips.
“And what’s that?” I whisper, thinking I know the answer, but wanting to hear him say it after making me feel like a bitchy, jealous shrew all day. And also, because at this point, I only have the ability to use about five percent of my brain and I’d like verbal confirmation from him before I say or do something else stupid in front of this man.
I have a few fleeting seconds before he answers me to remind myself that this is Leo Hudson. The same Leo Hudson who was the biggest nerd in the history of Bald Knob, weighed eighty pounds soaking wet, snorted at his own jokes, and was a member of Future Farmers of America. You know, one of the kids who walked around all the time in those short navy blue, velvet jackets and woul
d talk about how to inseminate a cow over lunch. I feel a hysterical giggle bubbling up in my throat at the idea that I’m standing here in Leo Hudson’s arms and he may or may not be getting ready to kiss me. Something about this entire situation feels hilarious to me, and I know now isn’t the best time to laugh, but I honestly don’t know if I can help it.
“Kiss you until you forget about any other man who ever kissed you before, and ruin you for any man that comes after me,” Leo mutters, answering my question and putting an end to any desire I might have had to laugh when he tips his head to the side and crashes his lips against mine.
CHAPTER 14
Recorded Interview
June 3, 2016
Bald Knob, KY Police Department
Deputy Lloyd: So, how’s it going?
Emma Jo Jackson: Um, fine, I guess.
Deputy Lloyd: Good, good. That’s good.
Emma Jo Jackson: Uh, and you? How’s everything with you?
Deputy Lloyd: Oh, you know, the usual. Keeping Bald Knob safe and all that.
*3 minutes of silence*
Emma Jo Jackson: Did you…I mean, I thought you had some questions for me or something.
Deputy Lloyd: Oh, ha ha yes! Yes, some questions. That’s right. I need to ask you some questions.
*Papers rustling, muffled cursing, chair legs scraping across floor, more muffled cursing*
Emma Jo Jackson: Do you need me to help you pick that up?
Deputy Lloyd: NOPE! I got it, it’s fine. Just give me a second.
*Papers rustling, muffled cursing*
Okay, where were we? Questions… let’s see…
*Papers rustling, muffled cursing*
Emma Jo Jackson: Do you need a few minutes? I can go get something to eat and come back if you want.
Deputy Lloyd: No, no, you’re fine, it’s fine, I’m fine. Everything is fine! Let’s just start with an easy question. Do you know anyone who would have wanted to kill your husband?
