“We’ve brought you to Rossington House,” he said. “You have the best care. We will see you through this, I swear it.”
Sean blinked. “Kevin?”
“Aye, it is me.”
“Where… where did you come from?”
“The barons broke through at the Tower,” Kevin said. “The Marshal and thousands of men, including most of The Marshal’s agents. We were looking for you and finally found you, but you were wounded. I am sorry we did not come in time, Sean. Please forgive us.”
Sean was becoming a little more lucid. “There is nothing to forgive,” he said. “We always knew this could happen.”
Kevin’s expression was taut with pain. “We did,” he said softly. “But still… we tried to find you. I did not want you to think we had left you alone to die. That I had left you alone to die.”
“I would never think that of you, Kevin,” Sean murmured. “You are my brother. You would never leave me to die.”
Tears stung Kevin’s eyes. “Never,” he whispered.
Sean grunted when Gilby did something that caused him pain, closing his eyes tightly for a brief moment. “And John?” he asked. “Where is he?”
Kevin shook his head. “I do not know,” he said. “Cai and I took you out of the Tower as our friends held off John’s guard. You are safe now.”
“And my wife? Where is she?”
Kevin’s brow flickered with confusion. “Wife?” he said. “You do not have a wife, Sean.”
“He does,” Gilby said, bent over the hole he’d cut in Sean’s side to equalize his breathing. “He married her tonight. Sheridan St. James, heiress to the Earldom of Bath and Glastonbury. Sean has inherited an earldom through marriage.”
Shocked, Kevin looked at Caius, who appeared equally surprised. But that surprise quickly turned to great concern for Sean’s wife.
“I do not know where she is, Sean, but we shall find her,” he said. “I…”
“There is no need,” Gilby said, cutting him off. “She is with trusted men who have taken her out of the city for safekeeping – away from John and away from those who would hunt down your brother and kill him. Leave her. It is best that she return home to Lansdown Castle and stay away from de Lara for now. It is safer that way, for as long as John lives, your brother will be hunted.”
Kevin looked at the old physic who seemed to know a great deal about his brother’s life. For the past year, Sean had been so deeply entrenched with John that no one save The Marshal had seen him. Sean used to move about with relative freedom, a visitor to Farringdon House and other Marshal properties, but the past year had seen that change dramatically.
In fact, The Marshal had taken to meeting Sean in secret because there had been some rumors in the spy networks that John was becoming suspicious of his Shadow Lord. Sean had power, and he had strength and intelligence, and it was increasingly apparent that the king had been threatened by it.
And that was the reason Sean was strewn over the bed, so badly wounded.
For the moment, Kevin pushed aside the surprise at the fact that his brother had taken a secret wife. He would worry about that at another time. At the moment, he was only concerned with his brother and ensuring the man survived to see another day. He took Sean’s hand.
“You have the best care,” he repeated. “Your wife is safe, according to Gilby, so the only thing you must think of is getting well.”
Sean looked at his brother. He only had one. They had been close and loving until Sean had accepted the assignment that saw him become the king’s premier henchman. Kevin could never understand why such a noble, exceptional knight would agree to such a horrific mission and it had caused friction between them for years. Years of heartache, of longing, of sadness. Kevin didn’t understand and Sean couldn’t explain it to him any better than he, and others including Caius, already had.
But no more.
The bond was as strong as ever.
Sean weakly squeezed Kevin’s hand.
“Thank you,” he said. It was all he could manage. “Where is Cai?”
“Here.” Caius came up next to Kevin, bending over so he could hear Sean’s breathy words. “I am here, Sean. What would you have of me?”
Sean’s gaze was still on Kevin. “I am cold,” he said softly. “Have them bring me heavy blankets and stoke the hearth until it belches fire. Will you see to this?”
Kevin nodded quickly and vacated the spot that Caius filled. Sean lifted a weak hand to Caius, who took it and squeezed strongly. His black eyes gazed steadily into Sean’s dark blue.
“He is gone,” Caius murmured. “What did you wish to tell me?”
Sean looked at him. As Caius watched, tears began to make their way down the man’s temples.
“Do not let Kevin waste his life with regret when I have passed,” he said hoarsely. “He is my little brother and I love him more dearly than anything on this earth. I have always taken care of him. Cai… please take care of him when I am gone. Will you do this for me?”
Caius shook his head firmly. “That will not be for a very long time.”
“Cai,” Sean hissed. “Look at me. I am dying. If these wounds do not kill me, then the poison that follows surely will. Let me die knowing you will look out for Kevin when I am gone. And my wife; she will be at Lansdown Castle. Please look after her as well. I do not wish for either Sheridan or Kevin to waste their lives in grief after I am gone.”
Caius was a seasoned veteran. He had seen twenty-five years of battle, but the one thing he had never grown immune to was a dying comrade. Especially Sean, since they had been close for almost all of those twenty-five years. He felt as if he were losing a piece of himself.
But he knew what Sean meant with regard to Kevin. The powerful, stalwart knight had never been a cold-blooded killer like many of the Executioner Knights were. That was why William Marshal had brought him into the fold – Kevin was very pious, very moral. He saw the world as either good or bad; there was no in-between. In a sense, he was the moral compass for the group, their conscience, to keep them from becoming too muddled down in the dregs of what they did.
That’s what had made his relationship with his brother so tragic. In theory, Kevin knew why Sean did what he did. But in practice, it was much different. There had been no moral ambiguity as far as Kevin was concerned. Sean was a knight who served William Marshal and, in that respect, he was carrying out his duty. A most important duty to the safety of England. In that aspect, he respected his brother greatly.
He also knew that Sean’s position so close to the king had been invaluable. He had saved many lives and had averted many disasters. But in the same respect, he had ruined many lives and had created a few disasters of his own in the line of duty.
Kevin knew all of this. He realized his brother’s mission was critical to the survival of England. He simply didn’t want that mission to be filled by Sean. It would have been fine with him had it been anyone else, but not Sean.
Not his brother.
Kevin had been too young to go on crusade with King Richard those years ago. Sean and Caius and many other men in the service of William Marshal had gone, but Kevin had simply been too young and his father would not hear of it, not even to squire for one of the knights. Therefore, Kevin had remained behind and, quite possibly, been embittered by the fact that he wasn’t allowed to go.
He had continued his training at Kenilworth Castle, the castle were all of the great knights had trained. He had remained steadfast to England while his brother and many other great warriors had gone on to seek glory in the hot sands of the Holy Land. There were several Executioner Knights who knew both Kevin and Sean well, and they always believed that there was perhaps some bitterness on Kevin’s part that he was never allowed to experience what the rest of them had. Perhaps it was something that carried over into his views on Sean’s position with John.
Sean was still obtaining glory, now as the right-hand of the king.
Whatever the case, because Ke
vin had not been compromised in those nasty battles against the Muslim enemy, his moral values had not been damaged. He was an excellent balance in the group and that is why William Marshal had accepted his fealty.
Even William knew that they needed Kevin.
The negative aspect to that was the fact that Kevin, in a sense, was naive. It was that naive nature that had caused so many problems with Sean. Caius knew that, and he understood Sean’s desire to continue to protect Kevin. Sean was still the big brother, still looking out for his younger brother. Now, he was asking Caius to assume that duty.
Caius knew how much that request meant to Sean.
“As you say, Sean,” he said quietly. “But do not think you can die comfortably because I agree. I could very well beat Kevin to a pulp if you pass on because he was so cruel to you. If you remain, I shall not touch him.”
He was trying to bargain with Sean so the man would have to fight for his life, if only to protect his brother from Caius. Realizing this, Sean smiled faintly.
“Touch him and I shall haunt you,” he muttered. “Men thought I was frightening from the shadows when I was alive. Imagine how frightening I shall be in the darkness when I am dead.”
Caius grinned, flashing his bright, slightly crooked smile. “Terrifying,” he agreed. “But you shall not haunt us for a very long time, Sean. I cannot do without you and neither can those you love. You are the strongest man I know. You must prove it.”
Sean’s smile faded. “I shall try.”
“Swear it?”
“I do.”
After that, Sean drifted off into unconsciousness again. He’d said what he’d needed to say and could now rest peacefully. Caius let him sleep, still holding his hand, even as Kevin returned with blankets and more fuel for the fire. He even had the servants warm the blankets before putting them on his brother, making sure he was comfortable and protected.
Kevin made sure that every detail about his brother was perfect. In fact, there seemed to be a change in his manner, something Caius had seen with men he’d served with in the Holy Land – it was a hardness that was difficult to describe, an attention to duty that had immovable focus. With Sean down, Kevin was in command now, and he was taking those duties very seriously.
Now, it was the little brother doing the protecting and the realization made Caius smile.
Perhaps the little brother had finally grown up, after all.
However, it wasn’t growing up as much as it was a changing of the heart in Kevin de Lara. He’d lived and served among those who killed without hesitation for a good deal of his professional life. He’d seen a great many travesties that had gotten under his skin, things his fellow knights had done, things he’d complained about but no action taken against.
Things he’d bottled up and tried to forget.
But seeing Sean lying in that bed, injured because of the mission he’d accepted and the cause he believed in, did something to him. He began to realize that being a man of heart in a profession that had little was a weakness. He’d been weak all the time.
Men like his brother had been the brave ones.
Men who walked the gray areas in a world where morality could be changed to suit the outcome of a just and right cause. But in Sean’s case, it would probably cost him his life.
Men, as Kevin saw it, could not be changed. Because of the king, Sean had to lay himself to waste, damage his reputation where it could never be recovered. Sean de Lara, that great and noble warrior, that shining example of knighthood, had been betrayed by the country he was trying so hard to protect.
By a monarch who tried to kill him.
But it ran deeper than that.
William Marshal’s objective had always been to preserve England, to preserve the king and protect him from not only the external threats against him, but also from himself. Kevin always thought that he, too, was doing the right and just thing by helping The Marshal protect the country he loved, but in seeing how that loyalty had cost his brother, Kevin wasn’t so sure any longer. He wasn’t so sure he wanted to serve a country that turned on its own.
He wasn’t sure he wanted to be an Executioner Knight any longer.
Perhaps it was time for Kevin to finally become a man of his own.
CHAPTER ONE
Rossington House
Five weeks later
“Sean wants to see you, Kevin.”
“Is he dying?”
Caius shook his head. “Not today,” he said. “The poison in his groin is much better. Gilby says that he might very well make it. It is not a death watch, in any case, but he has been asking to see you for weeks. Where have you been?”
Kevin eyed him. “It is enough that I am here,” he said evasively. “My brother is doing better?”
“He is. Are you going to tell me where you’ve been?”
Kevin wasn’t. He eyed Caius for a moment before pushing past the man, heading into the bowels of Rossington House where his brother was still recovering from what they had all considered to be mortal wounds.
But still, Sean lingered.
Kevin braced himself.
Sean was still in the chamber they’d first brought him to those weeks ago. They hadn’t moved him even though it was a tiny servant’s chamber and could hardly hold more than a few men at a time. But it was on the ground level, with a nice window that overlooked the garden and the kitchen yard beyond.
Kevin entered the low-ceilinged chamber to see that his brother’s bed had been pushed up against the wall because, when propped up, he could see outside. The window was even open a little, letting the sweet scent of spring enter. It also let in the stench of the rest of the yard in and Kevin caught a whiff of the stables as he approached the bed.
Sean was elevated on pillows, his eyes closed as he lay slightly on his right side. A male servant was there, cleaning out the piss pot, leading Kevin to believe that his brother might not be asleep because he had just used it. As the servant left, Kevin shut the door quietly behind him, shutting out Caius as well, who had followed him.
But what he had to say to Sean wasn’t for Caius’ ears.
“Sean?” he said softly.
Sean’s eyes immediately popped open, looking around the chamber until they came to rest on Kevin, standing near the door. He smiled weakly.
“Kevin,” he said hoarsely. “I was wondering if you would ever come. Where have you been? No one could seem to find you.”
Kevin sighed heavily as he made his way towards the bed. There was a three-legged stool against the wall and he pulled it forward, planting himself on it as he sat next to his brother’s sickbed.
“I had things to attend to,” he said, avoiding the question. “But I am here now. Do you have need of me?”
Sean may have been ill, but his mental faculties were intact. He was well aware that his brother was being evasive.
“Tell me where you have been, Kevin,” he said, more lucid this time. “I’ve not seen you since the day after I was brought here. What is amiss with you, little brother?”
Kevin knew he couldn’t avoid giving him an answer much longer. Besides… he would know soon enough. He scratched his ear, a pensive gesture as he figured out how to couch what he was about to tell his brother.
But there was no easy way.
“I have asked The Marshal to release me from my service as an Executioner Knight,” he finally said. “Then I went to Trelystan Castle. I have only just returned.”
Sean’s gaze lingered on him for a moment. “I see,” he said. “And did The Marshal release you?”
Kevin shook his head. “He told me not to be hasty and to think on it,” he said. “He told me to go to Trelystan and then we would speak more on the subject when I returned.”
Sean shifted slightly in his bed, his gaze never leaving his brother. “Why did you resign?”
Kevin’s jaw ticked. “Because I wanted to.”
“Tell me all of it, Kevin. Please.”
Kevin drew in a sharp breath,
trying to keep control of his emotions. “Because I no longer want to be part of the Executioner Knights, Sean. Must you know more than that?”
“I must. Will you make me beg you to tell me everything? What has happened that you would leave us?”
Kevin averted his gaze, looking to his feet. Those big, dirty boots that had seen so much action, so much strife and difficulties.
“Many things,” he muttered after a moment. “But the most important thing is that I do not have the mentality it takes to continue, I suppose.”
“What do you mean?”
Kevin lifted his big shoulders, growing restless and irritated as his brother pressed him. “I mean everything and I mean nothing,” he snapped softly. “All of the Executioner Knights are the greatest knights I have ever known, and my respect for them is endless, but all of you can carry out a distasteful order so easily and I cannot, not with great ease. While I am stewing over the situation and trying to rationalize the immorality of it, the rest of you do not. You can lie to your fellow man if it is in the course of your mission, or you can slay a priest if you are told to do so, and there are no questions in your mind about it. There is more to this, of course, but I… I have been thinking a good deal about the mentality of an Executioner Knight and I do not think I can continue on.”
Sean’s gaze drifted over him thoughtfully. “Because we do not question what needs to be done?”
“Because you do it without question. Or conscience.”
Sean had always known of Kevin’s struggles where it pertained to some of the darker deeds the Executioner Knights had carried out, but his sense of duty and support for his fellow knights had always been stronger than his hesitation.
But now… now, it had come to a breaking point.
Sean was saddened.
“You have been part of us for several years,” he said after a moment. “You have been an important part.”
Kevin shook his head. “No one is important,” he said. “Don’t you realize that you have been treated like an expendable commodity, Sean? The very fact that you are in this bed proves it. The Marshal is the puppet master and we are the puppets, and watching you nearly bleed to death at the Tower made me realize just how expendable we are in the grand scheme of things. No one is important, Sean.”
Lord of the Sky (The Executioner Knights Book 6) Page 3
