Noah’s face was tight, his jaw clenched. “Thank you for letting me know, Dad. I’ll take care of it.”
Dad? That was the general on the phone? What did he want?
Noah threw his phone back on the nightstand where it sailed dangerously close to the edge before coming to a stop just shy of falling off.
“Noah, what’s wrong?”
“The three guys who raped Josh, they’ve been granted their request for an appeal. That not only means they’re released awaiting the appeal but also that there will be another trial. Josh will have to testify again, this time before the Military Court of Appeals.”
“Noah, he can’t,” Indy brought out. The thought of sweet Josh having to relive his worst memories made him sick. “He won’t survive mentally, not even with Connor’s help!”
“I know. Fuck it!” Noah brought his fist down on his bed. “And I’m stuck in this damn bed and can’t do a fucking thing!”
“But why is there an appeal? I thought it was an open-and-shut case? They had physical evidence and all.”
“From the beginning, they claimed the sex was consensual. Said Josh approached them, asked them to fuck him rough. The defense painted a picture of Josh as a sick fuck who had fantasies of being raped. They claimed to have gotten scared when he passed out, regretted they’d gotten too rough but insisted he initiated it. The jury didn’t buy it and convicted them, but now their lawyer states he has new evidence Josh asked them to rape him.”
Indy’s fists were clenched, his body rigid. A holy anger burned through his veins. How dared they blame this on Josh? What sick motherfuckers raped a man till he passed out and then claimed he wanted it?
“I’m sorry, baby. I wasn’t thinking… I shouldn’t have told you, not after what you went through yourself. I’m so angry, and I feel so fucking helpless.”
Indy blew out a slow breath, steadied himself. “It’s okay. I share your anger. How the fuck can they do this to him? Let me handle this, Noah. There’s little you can do from here. Let me tell Josh, or do you think his lawyer told him already?”
“No. My dad called him and asked him to wait a day so I could tell Josh. He’s a major bastard, but I gotta give him credit for this. Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes.” A wild idea formed in Indy’s head. An idea that was not even close to being legal, which is why he wanted Noah nowhere near it. Those fuckers would not get away with this. He’d killed once to protect himself, and he had no qualms about using violence again to protect someone he loved. He forced a neutral expression. “I’ll take care of it, Noah. Trust me.”
Noah’s face was so full of pain that Indy couldn’t help but offer. He wasn’t even sure if he could take what Noah would dish out, but seeing Noah’s pain was too much. “Noah, do you need me?” He deliberately used Josh's words, knowing Noah would understand the code.
Noah’s jaw set. “No. Thank you for offering, baby. God, I love you.”
“I want to help you. I can’t stand to see you in pain.”
Noah’s face softened. “I know, baby. Damn, you and Josh are so much alike in that aspect. I know how much courage and love it took for you to offer, but I can’t. One thing I’ve realized is that I need to take my responsibility. I can’t keep using sex as some sort of painkiller, or even a distraction or outlet. If we want to make it work between us, and fuck knows I want nothing more, then I need to find a healthier way of dealing with my pain, both physically and mentally. I’ve signed up for a pain management course that’s being offered by an anesthesiologist and a psychiatrist together, here in the hospital.”
Indy didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t dared to suggest it to Noah earlier, not wanting to seem jealous of what he and Josh had—and above all, not wanting to come between them. “You’re not going to use Josh anymore?”
Noah shook his head. “No. It’s not healthy for us, and it’s not good for him either, especially now that he’s with Connor. I won’t deny it’s gonna be hard to let him go, but it’s the right thing. He belongs with Connor, like I belong with you.”
13
Josh told Aaron they were going somewhere, and Aaron didn’t comment. He simply put on his jacket with a careful move, indicating he was still in pain and got into the back of the car.
“How’s the pain?” Connor asked, backing the car out of the garage.
“It’s okay. Coughing hurts. And I have a mild headache all the time.”
“Probably a minor concussion and bruised ribs,” Josh said. When Aaron looked surprised, Josh said: “You pick up a thing or two from living with Noah.”
If Aaron thought it strange Josh mentioned Noah so casually in front of Connor, he didn’t say anything. “Can I ask you a question about your PTSD?” he asked Josh instead.
“Can’t guarantee I’ll answer it, but sure.”
“What are things I shouldn’t do around you, to, you know, prevent problems for you?”
Josh let that question sink in. It showed more kindness and consideration than he’d ever expected from Aaron. He cleared his throat. “I don’t deal well with surprises or shock. And violence is a big issue. No violent movies, games, or even play.”
“Ok. I’ll remember that.”
It was hard to reconcile his memories of Aaron with the man he was now, Josh thought. He remembered Aaron as arrogant and spoiled, but he spotted little of that now. Aaron seemed lost, broken. It made sense considering what he’d been through, but it didn’t mesh with Josh's image of him. He sighed. Best to let it go. Aaron wasn’t his problem, after all.
When they entered the parking lot near the jiujitsu studio, Josh scanned it, searching for Indy’s car. It wasn’t there. Of course not. That would’ve been too easy. Still, he harbored hope Indy’s professor would know more. Kent wasn’t the friendliest guy, so Josh could only hope he’d be cooperative.
Kent was in the hallway when they stepped inside, talking to an older guy. It appeared they were in the goodbye phase, and the man left with a friendly nod in their direction.
“Hi, Professor Kent,” Josh said.
“You’re Indy’s friend,” Kent said. “Josh, correct?” His eyes traveled to the two men behind Josh, then narrowed. “What happened to you?”
Josh could only assume the question was directed at Aaron, considering his visible injuries.
“I ran into some trouble, sir,” Aaron answered.
“With these two?”
Josh almost took a step back when he realized what Kent meant. “What the fuck?”
Kent shot him a cool look. “In case you didn’t know, this is a registered safe haven for victims of domestic abuse. When a guy comes in looking like that, I ask questions until I am satisfied he’s safe, no matter who he’s with.”
“Josh is my brother, sir, and Connor here is a cop. They took me in as a matter of fact after I got beaten up. It was my own fault, sir.”
Wow, he was being awfully polite. It felt genuine, though.
Kent’s face relaxed. “That’s where you’re wrong. Getting beat up is never your fault. No matter who you are or what you do, other people should keep their hands off you.” He nodded as to underscore his words. “You a cop?” he turned toward Connor.
“O’Connor, I’m with the Albany PD. We okay here?”
“You have your badge on you?”
Connor reached for his wallet, showed his badge and ID. Kent studied them for a few seconds.
“We’re good,” he said. He looked at Aaron, gestured toward an open door at the end of the hallway. “Can you wait in my office for a minute? I need to talk to Josh and Officer O’Connor.”
Josh tensed. What was going on? Before he could say anything, Connor grabbed his hand and squeezed it. As soon as Aaron was out of earshot, Kent looked at Josh.
“Everything is okay. I have a message for you from Indy, but I needed to verify Connor’s identity first as I’d never seen him before.”
“From Indy? Oh, thank fuck. How is he? Did you see him? Is he o
kay?” Josh fired off. Connor’s hand squeezed his again. Slow the fuck down, it seemed to say.
“He asked me to tell you Connor needs to leave proof from the DA here. Indy will contact me, and I’ll get it to him. He said you’d know what that meant.”
Josh breathed a sigh of relief. “Tell him Noah is recovering well considering the circumstances, but that he misses him like crazy.”
“And I’ve contacted the DA through safe channels, and I’m awaiting his response,” Connor added. “I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything.”
Kent nodded. “I’ll give him the message. Josh, about your brother. I run a ten-week course in basic jiujitsu skills aimed at self-defense. It may be a good fit for him.”
Josh studied the man. If you got past his rather stern attitude, he wasn’t bad looking. He had dark hair, kept a tad too long so it curled at his neck, and piercing blue eyes that stood in sharp contrast with his olive skin. Must be some Mediterranean blood in him. He was as tall as Josh, but more muscular, though nowhere near Connor’s size.
“He got beat up because he was gay,” Josh said finally.
Kent raised his eyebrows. “And that matters because…?”
“Because the first time Indy came here with Noah, you didn’t seem to take too kindly to them being a couple. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t going to be an issue.”
“I didn’t have a problem with them being gay or a couple. What I saw was a young guy, maybe still in his teens, coming in with an older guy while clearly being hurt. A broken arm and bruised ribs are classic injuries in domestic violence, so I was on the lookout for any signal Indy was being abused.”
“He’s not. Noah would never hurt him,” Josh said.
The corner of Kent’s lip pulled up. “I know that now, but I didn’t at the time, and as I said, this is a safe place for victims of domestic abuse. Some of them show up with their abusers, counting on me to pick up on their hidden signals and keep them safe.”
Josh couldn’t help but admire the guy for what he was doing. From his point of view, it made total sense. Considering how young and innocent Indy looked and how they’d shown up here, you couldn’t fault Kent for being suspicious. “I’ll tell Aaron about the self-defense. Not sure if he’s planning to stay, though, as he’s out of a job and can’t stay with us.”
He cringed as his own words registered. He didn’t mean to sound so cold, but Kent didn’t seem to take issue with it.
“If he needs a place to stay, have him talk to me. I live close by and have several rooms available for short-term emergencies. We can work something out.”
“Thank you,” Josh said, surprised. “I’ll be sure to tell him.”
“You want me to move in with a complete stranger?” Aaron asked in the car after Josh had filled him in. The indignity in his voice was obvious, and it got Josh's back up.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in a position to be picky,” he snapped. Connor put a calming hand on his thigh, and Josh took a breath, exhaled slowly. God, he was worked up today. The stress of everything was getting to him for sure.
It took Aaron a minute to reply, but Josh refused to watch him in the mirror. “You’re not wrong,” his brother said. Wow, Aaron was admitting Josh was right. Call the fucking press.
“What job did you get fired from?” Connor asked.
“I worked in DC as a staffer to Senator Fremont from Georgia. He’s an old-fashioned, fire-and-brimstone Republican from the South who’s in his fifth term. He fired me when I came out as gay, said I was an abomination. Of course, he found a different legal and official reason, but we both knew better. And since I was fired without a recommendation, I couldn’t get a job with anyone else in DC. It’s a small town in that sense.”
Connor entered their driveway, and Josh couldn’t help but hopefully check for Indy’s car. Nope, still nothing. God, he missed him.
“I’m sure you should be able to get a job somewhere else,” Josh said. “I mean, even if it’s waiting tables, it’ll pay the bills.”
“I know, but I have a master’s in political science, and aside from the fact that Fremont was a judgmental asshole, I loved that job. I’d hoped to find something similar.”
“There’s enough governing going on here in Albany,” Connor said. “And it’s a hell of a lot more liberal than the Deep South. You should be able to find something here.”
“I hope so. It’s hard to figure out where to start.”
Holy crap, what the fuck was wrong with Aaron? Did he think employers would line up for him? The passiveness he radiated irritated the shit out of Josh. “I’d say you start with accepting the first job you can get so you make some money and go from there.”
“Do you work?” Aaron asked.
Josh's head shot up. Was Aaron taking a dig at him being home because of his PTSD?
“Aaron, do not go down that road,” Connor said, his voice cold as ice. He parked the car in the garage, turned off the engine and met Aaron’s eyes dead on in the mirror. “Your brother has served his country with honor and paid a high price for it. Don’t you dare belittle that, or you’ll discover how fast I can kick you out. I will protect Josh from you, you understand me?”
“I wasn’t… I didn’t…” Aaron sighed. “Never mind.”
He carefully got out of the car. As soon as Aaron had closed his door, Connor turned to Josh. “Don’t let him get to you, baby. He’s not your problem.”
Josh reveled in the warm feeling in his belly Connor’s words inspired. Fuck, how he loved it when the man went all authoritative as shit.
“Yes, Connor,” he whispered, just to let him know what he was doing to him. He was rewarded with a stare from Connor that made his cock hard instantly. It seemed his submissiveness turned Connor on as much as Connor’s dominance affected him.
Fuck, he couldn’t wait for that session Connor had promised him. They’d have to get rid of Aaron first. Josh was not planning on letting Aaron know about that part of his relationship with Connor. It was bad enough he’d heard them fuck. Not that he gave a shit what Aaron thought, but it felt too personal, too raw to share.
He wasn’t even sure how much he wanted Noah to know. His best friend had to suspect something after their conversation in the hospital and Connor’s admission he’d worked Josh over good. After all, Noah knew how much Josh loved the rough sex and how he got off on Noah ordering him around in bed. But they’d never even gotten close to what he and Connor had shared, and he wasn’t sure Noah would understand, let alone approve.
“You okay, baby?”
Connor’s soft question yanked him from his thoughts. “Yeah. Looking forward to my reward.”
Connor’s eyes clouded over, and he swallowed. “Me too, baby. Me too.”
* * *
Indy had no intention whatsoever of informing Josh about the appeal. Instead, he had Noah call Josh's lawyer. Noah had assured the lawyer he’d inform Josh and had asked him because of Josh's PTSD to contact Noah first if there was any news. Because Noah was still listed as Josh's health care proxy and had power of attorney in case Josh wasn’t able to make decisions, the lawyer had agreed after some persuading. That was the first step in Indy’s plan.
Next, he needed to talk to Connor without Josh finding out. It was a risk he was taking, meeting the cop alone while still not one hundred percent sure of his intentions, but he had little choice. Josh's safety and well-being came first. So the next day, he’d called Connor, had asked him to meet later that day at the studio, without Josh. Connor had agreed, even if he’d been clearly reluctant to keep it from Josh.
Indy had checked out from the motel in Jersey and had found a similar one near Albany airport. He’d managed to sell his car the day before and was now using a rental. The money from his car, combined with the prepaid credit cards from Noah would tide him over for a little while.
Indy stood close to the entrance to the studio and watched Connor walk up. The cop gave him a cursory glance, then proceeded to go i
nside. Indy smiled. He couldn’t have asked for better proof his disguise worked.
“Connor,” he called out.
The cop whipped his head around. His eyes widened when he recognized Indy. “Fuck, you’re good,” he said with obvious admiration.
“Thank you. I’ll make this quick, because you must hate leaving Josh alone right now.”
“I sent a message to the DA. He should have something for you today, tomorrow at the latest,” Connor assured him.
“Okay, but that’s not what I need to talk to you about.” He took a deep breath, hoped Connor would keep his cool. “The three guys who raped Josh have been released, pending an appeal. General Flint got a heads up and let Noah know. Josh doesn’t know. Yet.”
Other than a tightening of Connor’s jaw, the man didn’t react, something Indy could appreciate. Where Noah’s temper ran hot and instantly, Connor’s ran cold and long. Indy wasn’t sure which he preferred, but in this case, his money was on Connor. There had to be little the cop wouldn’t do to protect Josh.
“Noah spoke to his lawyer, got him to agree to not contact Josh directly because of his PTSD. It’s not legal, but neither is what I’m about to propose to solve this issue. You gonna have a problem with that?”
“Does it involve killing these three motherfuckers?”
“Sadly, no. But it might break a few bones, and more importantly, it will result in a more satisfactory punishment and get them to drop the appeal.”
Connor nodded. “Spill.”
In quick sentences, Indy explained what he had come up with. When he was done, Connor shook his head and whistled softly. “You have three times the brain the Fitzpatricks ever gave you credit for.”
Indy shrugged. “Duncan never gave a shit about what I thought. All he wanted was to fuck me and brag about fucking me. I was nothing more than a hole for him to use.”
Connor’s hand landed on Indy’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “You’re so much more than that, so don’t ever believe otherwise. Noah loves you for who you are and rightly so. Look at what you’re willing to do for Josh. He’s damn lucky to have a friend like you.”
No Shame: The Complete Series: Including exclusive bonus materials and deleted scenes Page 46
