Even stuck in a hospital bed with bandages everywhere and almost as pale as the sheets covering him, the man was rip-roaring hot. Tall, blond, fit, and with a cock that tasted like heaven.
Okay, that was even more crazy, Brad admitted. Most men, even gay men, wouldn’t say that. He did, however. He’d thoroughly enjoyed sucking Miles off. He could only hope it would last a bit longer, because surely as soon as the guy was recovered enough to go home, it would end. He had to have a long list of willing bed partners to gratify him.
Brad hesitated shortly before he opened the door. Would Miles be awake again this time? He was getting more and more lucid, whereas before, he’d been half out of it. If Brad hadn’t felt his erection every time, he would have worried about sucking him off without the guy being able to give consent. But what Indy said had been true. Miles was hard all the time, and if he wasn’t, it took one touch to get him fully erect.
He’d been too cute last time, telling Brad he wanted to fuck him. The man was nowhere near ready for that, yet, but if he was, Brad would bend over in a heartbeat. If blowing him already felt so good, Brad could only imagine how deeply satisfying it would be to be fucked raw by the guy. Yeah, as he said, he was out of his fucking mind, and a pervert to boot. What else was new?
Miles was watching TV when he stepped into the room, a first. Brad jammed his hands into his pockets, suddenly nervous and shy. “Hi,” he said.
Miles sent him a blinding smile, turned off the TV instantly. “Hi. I was hoping you’d come by.”
“Yeah. Of course. I mean, I’ve been here twice a day, most days.”
“I didn’t realize. I’ve been pretty out of it.” He gestured toward the morphine pump. “That stuff is powerful.”
“How are you feeling?” Was that a stupid question to ask? Brad sucked at small talk, never knew what to say, or when it got awkward.
“Wanna sit down?” Miles asked, pointing toward the chair beside his bed.
“Don’t you want me to…”
Miles swallowed. “Yeah. If you want. But maybe talk first?”
“Oh.” That was unexpected. And major uncomfortable. What the hell would he want to talk about? It wasn’t like they had much in common. Still, Brad lowered himself on the chair, folded his hands in his lap.
Miles smiled. “Your name is Brad, right?”
He nodded.
“I’m Miles.”
“Yeah, I know. I mean, nice to meet you. Officially?” Way to go, bubbling idiot, he cursed himself, but Miles didn’t seem to mind.
“I guess we hadn’t been officially introduced, even though you seem to know me quite well in other ways.”
“Indy said it was okay,” Brad said quickly. Was Miles upset with him? Had he done something to displease him?
“It is. It was. Hell, yes. Thank you.”
He relaxed again. “You’re welcome.”
“Indy explained to you what I have?”
He nodded. “Yeah. He said it would hurt like hell if nobody took care of you.”
Miles let out a soft sigh. “It gets quite painful. Why do you do this? I mean, you don’t even know me.”
Brad’s face tightened. There was no way he was sharing this with Miles. He’d be repulsed for sure. Even Charlie didn’t know the whole story, and Brad trusted him with his life.
“It’s okay,” Miles said. Did he sense his discomfort? “You don’t need to tell me. I was curious, but above all, I’m grateful.”
“You don’t need to be. I love doing this.”
“You love sucking cock.”
He raised his chin. This much he would admit. “Yes.”
“You’re really, really good at it.” Miles’ voice was so sincere, Brad didn’t doubt the truth of his statement even for a second.
Brad’s face lit up. “Thank you. Please tell me if there’s anything else you like. I can bring a dildo to fuck you while I suck you off, or give you a hand job if you’d prefer. I don’t know if you like it a little rougher, add a touch of pain, or what.”
He clamped his mouth shut. Total verbal diarrhea and so fucking eager. Would he ever learn?
“I’m going home in a couple of days, if all goes well,” Miles said, studying him with an indecipherable look.
Damn. That was it, then. He had a few more days with this perfect man, and then he’d be back to scrounging favors off total strangers in gay clubs. He’d known it was temporary anyway. Miles wouldn’t want him once he had options, and Brad needed something the agent would never be able to give him. He doubted anybody could or would, especially once they realized how truly fucked-up he was, but that didn’t keep his stubborn heart from hoping.
“Okay.”
“I’m going home with Indy and Noah.”
He was? How crazy was that? He and Charlie were still staying with them, too. Charlie’s ex was still too much of a threat to even consider moving back into Brad’s place, since that would be the first place Zach would come looking for Charlie. Brad had been surprised Zack hadn’t made a move yet, but Charlie said he’d been out of state for three weeks on some kind of training that had been scheduled months in advance.
Brad had asked Indy repeatedly if he was okay with them staying there, especially since he’d just been reunited with Noah, but Indy had assured him it was fine. Josh was still at the mental facility, so maybe when he came home it would be time to leave? It would certainly make things interesting with Miles moving in as well.
Brad’s eyes lifted from the floor to meet Miles’. He saw uncertainty there, an implicit question. Was Miles asking him what Brad thought he was?
“I could…continue helping you there, if you want me to,” he offered, almost holding his breath.
“Would you? I don’t even know where you live, or what you do for a living,” Miles said.
Brad exhaled. He’d have him for a little while longer, thank fuck. Still, he was so not answering that last question. The guy would be bored to death in seconds. Besides, he wanted to pleasure Miles, not become BFFs. This could never be about more than sex, about Miles’ need to come and Brad’s own sick need to please.
“I live pretty close to their house, ten minutes maybe? But I’m staying in one of their guest rooms right now with Charlie, my best friend. He was assaulted, and needed a place to recover. So it wouldn’t really be a bother.”
Miles looked him straight in his eyes, those misty blue eyes demanding truth. “And you are absolutely certain you don’t mind doing this? I respect your privacy, but consent is a big deal for me.”
Brad nodded vehemently. “I love it, I swear.”
“And your friend Charlie, he won’t mind either? I don’t know if you two are…”
“We’re just friends,” Brad assured him, though he had to force himself to keep his eyes level when he said it. Of course, he and Charlie weren’t mere friends. Charlie had wanted more from the beginning, but Brad had always kept him at a distance—at least in that sense. Charlie deserved more and better. But all that was kinda unnecessary to explain to the Fed, wasn’t it? Need to know, and all that. “And he knows, and he’s fine with it.” That part, at least, was true.
Miles’s face softened. “In that case, yes, please. Your mouth or your hands, it doesn’t matter, as long as I come. If you can play with my ass at the same time, even better. A dildo is perfect, or your fingers, whichever you prefer. The more often you make me come and the more intense my orgasm, the longer I’ll last, but I will never put pressure on you to do more than you want to, or feel comfortable with.”
The sheet around his groin was tenting, evidence of his massive hard on. Brad felt himself stir, a rare occasion, though it died down quickly. “I’ll bring lube next time,” he said. “Didn’t want to do that without your consent.”
Miles hand reached out to touch Brad’s hand, sending a spark through his body. “Brad, you can do anything to make me come. Anything. Unless I explicitly say no, anything is fine. My need to come trumps any shame or embarrassment I have.”
Brad’s mouth dropped slightly agape. Was the guy serious? Hmm, they would have to see if he meant it. Maybe “anything” meant something else entirely to the agent than it did to Brad.
His skin burned where Miles was touching him. “I’d love to suck you right now, if that’s okay.”
Miles’ eyes burned into his. “Lock the damn door.”
Brad jumped up, locked the door. When he turned around, Miles had kicked down the sheets and was shimmying out of his pajama bottoms, his forehead frowning with effort and probably a bit of pain.
“How many do you need right now?” Brad asked.
“As many as you can spare. I’m on the edge, so the first one should be easy.”
Brad licked his lips. “Okay.”
He reached out for that perfect cock, all ready and glistening against Miles’ stomach. It was weeping already, so eager for his touch. He circled it with his hands, admired the fierce head, almost purple in its desire to come. A thick drop of precum pearled on the top, and he swiped it with his thumb, used it to wet the crown.
How much pressure did Miles like? He’d have to find out. He circled the base with one hand. Grabbed the top of his cock with his other hand and started rubbing. Up, down, increasing in pressure.
“Ohhh,” Miles let out. “Fuck. Little harder. Yeah, like that. Oh, dammit.”
He groaned low and deep, and his cock exploded in Brad’s hand. The guy hadn’t been kidding that he was on the edge. Thick ropes of cum flew onto Miles’ belly. Brad didn’t miss a beat, swiped some of it with his fingers while he kept jacking Miles off with his other hand.
“Raise your legs,” he said, smiled when Miles obeyed without delay, though with careful moves. His index finger found Miles’ hole, eased inside, aided by the man’s own cum. His left hand jacked off, his right hand finger fucked his ass. Being ambidextrous really had advantages.
He swiped more cum off the man’s belly to wet his cock, which made jerking off so much more pleasant. You could use lube, sure, but there was something inherently dirty about using cum. Miles didn’t seem to mind. He had his eyes closed and let out a stream of soft moans and groans. Brad’s insides sighed with content. He was doing this. He was bringing this gorgeous man pleasure.
Miles’ tight channel eased around his finger, signaling he was ready for more. Brad added his middle finger, turned his hand to find that spot. He fucked, felt, fingering him until he found that slightly spongy spot that was just a little different to the touch than the surrounding area. He hit it straight on, jacked him off hard with his other hand.
Miles let out a loud curse. “Fuckohfuckohfuckohfuck.”
Yup, he’d found it, alright. He repeated his move, and the man’s cock went off like a rocket, squirting fluids all over Brad’s face. Brad licked a drop of cum off his lips, smacked.
“Oh, shit, sorry,” Miles panted, his face falling. Did he think Brad would be upset over cum in his face? He got off on shit like that. The dirtier it got, the better.
Brad responded by burying his face in Miles’ crotch, nuzzling his balls. Miles’ hands came up to touch his hair, as he’d done before. Brad loved it when those big hands caressed his curls. The slight pressure of Miles’ hands added to the sensation of being used.
He proceeded to lick Miles clean, his fingers still knuckle deep into the man’s ass. Miles was definitely not a top only, because he’d taken Brad’s fingers with ease and had obviously loved having something in his hole. Brad filed that information away. He held his fingers still for now, wanted Miles to concentrate on something else.
Those big balls were a perfect fit for his mouth. He took the right nut in, sucked gently. Miles gasped, increased the pressure on Brad’s head. Hmm, he liked that, huh? Brad smiled with his mouth full of testicle, let it slip out. He licked around it a few times for good measure, because, damn, the man tasted so good. Sweaty, musky, all male. He doted on the other nut with the same attention, licked it even more, because he couldn’t get enough of it.
Miles was thrashing on the bed by now, his head rolling left and right, his hips bucking every now and then. Those strong hands were digging into Brad’s skull, begging him to finish it.
He took mercy on him, took him into his mouth, sucking him all the way in until his balls hit his chin. He never gagged, courtesy of a lot of practice. Then again, he’d never had much of a gag reflex to begin with. Miles’ hips came off the mattress as he thrust into Brad’s mouth, probably without realizing it. Brad echoed the move, thrusting into Miles’ ass with his fingers.
Miles moaned obscenely loud, fucked his mouth again. Brad did the same in his ass. Fingers dug hard into his skull, as Miles fired off hard thrusts, Brad doing his best to keep up. It wouldn’t take long anyway, not when…Miles’s body tensed up completely, his legs and arms stiff as a board.
“Fuuuuuuuuck…” he moaned, as his cock spurted out his third load. Brad swallowed happily. Hmm, next time he wanted to swallow the first load. This was way more translucent, less tasty.
Miles fell back on the mattress, his hands sliding off Brad’s head. The man was done. Good.
Brad cleaned him up as best as he could with his mouth, slowly pulled his fingers from that tight heat. He’d brought baby wipes, as he had before, because they were the easiest way to clean Miles, since he couldn’t very well shower yet. Brad didn’t want to leave any traces for the nurses washing him. He took them from his jacket, cleaned Miles nice and fresh, including swiping his hole to remove the last traces of cum.
The dirty baby wipes still clutched in one hand, Brad pulled Miles’ bottoms over his bare ass and flaccid cock. He’d rarely seen it so peaceful. Three orgasms must have done the trick. When he looked up, Miles was staring at him. Brad jolted, as if stung. Somehow, he’d expected Miles to be asleep again.
“Thank you,” Miles said.
Brad licked his lips, couldn’t help it. “You’re very welcome.”
He threw the wipes in the waste basket, washed his hands in Miles’ bathroom. He threw some water on his face, washing off the remnants of cum, patted it dry with a paper towel. There, all presentable again. No one who’d see him would have any idea of what he’d done.
Miles was as good as asleep when he stepped out. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
* * *
Two more days before Josh got home. Indy couldn’t fucking wait. The reunion with Noah had been truly special, and they still had a hard time not touching each other when they were together, but there was a Josh-shaped hole in Indy’s heart and his life.
He’d come back, expecting to find Josh home with Noah, but instead Noah had told him about Josh's stay in the clinic. Apparently, he’d had a brutal breakdown there during his stay, causing him to extend his treatment. He’d been gone for over five weeks now, and Indy couldn’t even imagine what Josh had been through. Indy himself hadn’t seen Josh in almost three months, and it was killing him.
Indy had thought Connor’s disappearance had been a ruse when Miles told him about it back in Kansas, but Noah had assured him it was real. The cop had actually broken up with Josh on the day Indy had gone into protective custody. It went against everything Indy had believed about Connor, and even now, he had a hard time understanding what had moved Connor to do it. Had he felt threatened by Noah’s friendship with Josh after all? He had to have known Josh would’ve never done anything without Connor’s approval.
No wonder Josh had experienced a rapid deterioration in his mental health. Losing Connor must have been a devastating blow for him. Josh had loved the cop with all his heart, of that Indy had no doubt.
For a second, when he heard the news about the sniper shooting, Indy had thought Josh was behind it. It was too much of a coincidence, what with Josh being a sharpshooter who could pull it off and all. But when Noah had told him about Josh's stay in the clinic and about his psychotic breakdown, Indy had chalked it up to coincidence after all. He would have been too hopped up on meds to make sense, let alone to plan an attack lik
e that. It had to have been someone with a gripe against the Fitzpatricks. Fuck knew the list of people who hated them was miles long.
What would Josh be like when he got back? Vulnerable, probably. Indy vowed to take care of him the best he could. Maybe they could…
The doorbell interrupted his thoughts, and his heart rate jumped. Noah had gone to physical therapy a few minutes before, Brad was at work, and Charlie was in his room doing fuck knew what. It was okay. He could open the door. The danger was gone, but it took some getting used to. It was fine, he told himself.
He walked over to the front door and opened it. His heart dropped, then jumped right back up when he saw him. He didn’t even think, launched himself right at him.
“Josh!”
Josh opened his arms wide, caught Indy with ease. Indy wrapped his legs around his waist, held on to him for dear life, as Josh’s hands circled him to hold him close. He breathed in his smell, put his cheek against Josh’s. It was like a missing piece of his heart slipped back into place.
“God, I missed you so much,” he whispered in Josh’s ear.
Josh hugged him as if he never planned to let him go. “I missed you like crazy.”
They held each other for maybe a minute before Indy leaned back to look at him. “How are you?”
He narrowed his eyes when he took in Josh’s clear eyes, the slight flush on his cheeks, his swollen lips.
Josh lowered him carefully to the ground, shot him a look of love. “I’m good,” he said. “I’m doing really good.”
“You just got fucked,” Indy said slowly. “And it wasn’t Noah, because he’s off to therapy. Plus, he wouldn’t have done it without telling me. But there’s no way you would sleep with anyone else, which means…Connor is back?”
Josh smiled. “I told you he would figure it out!” he called over his shoulder.
No Shame: The Complete Series: Including exclusive bonus materials and deleted scenes Page 85
