This was it, then. The brutal truth.
Charlie’s eyes shifted to Miles’. “You on board with this?”
“Completely. He’s tired, you know? Exhausted. He’s been taking care of people since he was a kid. It’s time someone takes care of him. I can give him what he needs in terms of discipline, but he needs your sweet love, too. How do you feel? Think you can handle this?”
Charlie bit his lip. “What about you and me, or me and him? How will this work?”
“This is what he needs from me. With you, it’s different. What you guys have is sweet and sexy. Nothing needs to change there. As for you and me…” Miles’ voice was uncharacteristically hesitant. “I would love it if there was an ‘us’ as well.”
Charlie’s face broke open in another one of those sweet smiles. “Me too. I want there to be an us. You, Brad, and me.”
It was strangely comforting, the way they were talking about him in his presence. Brad leaned back against Miles, a tiny act of surrender that earned him a kiss on his nape.
“We’ll figure it all out, I promise. My suspicion is, things will change over time. Brad’s needs are raw and desperate right now, but I suspect once they’re fully met, he’ll become less needy. But for now, it’s fine.”
Miles’ hand reached between Brad’s legs. “Raise your leg and open up. I wanna be inside you when we discuss the rules.”
He pulled his leg up, turned his ass so Miles could access it. His hard cock pushed against him. “Hand me the lube,” he told Brad. Miles could have easily grabbed it himself, but the rules had shifted already, Brad realized. He angled for the bottle, handed it to Miles.
“Your ass hurting? It’s glowing something fierce,” Miles said.
“Yeah. It’s burning.”
“Good,” Miles said, satisfaction dripping from his voice. “Then you’ll remember to watch your tone with us.”
His slick cock demanded entrance. Brad’s muscles, already worn out from the spanking, protested, clamped up. “Let me in, boy.”
He wanted to obey, forced himself to relax. He was breached, then slowly filled, taking his breath away. Miles didn’t go easy on him, pushing in without stopping until he was balls deep.
“Let’s talk,” he said. “You can call me Miles or daddy during the day. I don’t care, but when you need me to be strict, you’ll call me daddy. I will push your limits, Brad, because you need it. You’ll fight it, especially the humiliation, but we both know you crave it, right?”
He moved his hips, lazily fucked Brad’s ass with slow, languid strokes.
“Yes.”
“We do this in the open. No hiding from the others, no pretending. If I give you an order, I expect you to obey, even when I’m not there. I’ll ask Charlie to tell me if you’ve been disobedient, you understand?”
Miles could talk and fuck at the same time, Brad discovered. Very well, actually. He was thrusting in slow, but deep, each stroke bottoming out.
“Yes.”
“I promise I’ll take care of you, sweetheart. You’ve missed out on a lot as a kid, and I’ll do my best to give you the structure and attention you need.”
His head spun. “I won’t always accept it,” he said carefully.
Miles grinned. “I know. I’ll discipline the shit out of you if need be. Don’t you worry, I’ve got you. You can be as bratty as you want, honey. I won’t walk away.”
His words lit a light inside Brad that had been extinguished for a long time. Hope. For the first time in forever, he had hope.
“Does he need your permission to be with me, or you know, play with me?” Charlie asked.
“No. I would never come between you two. All I ask is that you tell me, and don’t keep it from me.”
Brad nodded in relief. He would have hated not having free access to Charlie.
“Let’s agree on a safe word, for all of us. Yellow means slow down, red means stop immediately. Brad, you can use it if you feel unsafe, or threatened, or if I do something you truly don’t want. Charlie, love, you should use it, too, if we’re doing something you’re not comfortable with, okay?”
Charlie nodded.
“And Charlie, my love, you and I will need to talk about your sexual preferences as well, okay? Something tells me you’re dying to experiment a little, too.”
Brad blew out a shaky breath as Miles fucked him so intensely, yet so slow. Every stroke was measured, precise, every thrust deep and full.
Brad clenched his ass muscles, teasing Miles, and was rewarded with a low moan. “You little shit,” Miles said affectionately. “Think you can speed me up, huh? Doesn’t work that way. You get your mouth on Charlie’s cock while I keep fucking you, because I ain’t coming till he does. We’re gonna pump both your holes full of cum, so get going, boy.”
Charlie laughed. “I’m already loving this arrangement.”
Brad lowered Charlie’s pants enough to take his cock out. The guy was fucking hard, so it wouldn’t take long anyway. The joy of being young and horny. He took him in his mouth, making sure he was in a comfortable position.
“Talk to him, honey,” Miles said. “Let’s remind him what a good little cock sucker he is.”
Charlie’s hips bucked off the mattress, shoving his dick deep into Brad’s throat, and he gagged before relaxing again. Miles’ thrusts were unrelenting, his ass burning and throbbing.
“I know. He sucks cock better than anyone else. How’s his ass?”
Miles grinned. “Fucking heaven. He doesn’t need prep, you just take him and his hole will open up. This ass was made to be fucked, seriously. He’s gonna fucking die when we double stuff him.”
Brad sucked hard, saliva drooling down his chin, reveling in how different Charlie tasted than Miles. Miles was saltier, stronger, whereas Charlie tasted more delicate, subtle. He bobbed his head, went to town. Both Charlie and Miles had a hand on his head now, and he fucking loved it. Claimed by both his men.
“I’m damn close,” Charlie said, his voice throaty.
“Me too. I’m shifting a gear up. Need to pound that ass.”
Pounding, he did. The first thrust was so powerful, it rammed Charlie’s cock into his mouth even deeper. Both guys let out a simultaneous groan of satisfaction. Brad braced himself, eagerly awaiting being filled on both ends. Miles’ fingers dug in, his cock slamming home hard now. Brad’s body shook with the intensity.
“Coming…” Charlie warned, a mere second before he fired off a round of hard thrusts into Brad’s mouth. As if choreographed, Miles did the same in his ass. Charlie came first, flooding his mouth. Brad swallowed furiously, gave up when Miles came in his ass with a mighty roar. His body went slack, the cum dripping out of him everywhere.
Miles spun him on his back, attacked his mouth with a soaring hot kiss. Brad moaned, rutted against him with his hard shaft. Miles swiped his mouth clean, fucking his mouth until Brad about ran out of breath.
“Fucking hell, you taste good,” Miles told Charlie. He licked his lips. “I could taste you all over his mouth. Come here.”
Their mouths met an inch away from Brad’s, but the funny thing was that he wasn’t jealous at all. He didn’t even want in. No, he was fucking horny again, and getting more aroused by the second as those two started making slurping noises. His hand traveled to his dick, found it slick with precum and trembling with need. He jacked himself off with furious, hard strokes.
“Fuuuuuck,” he sighed only twenty, maybe thirty seconds later, his ball emptying violently. The orgasm barreled through him, leaving him weak and panting. Holy fuck, he’d come twice in one day. That in itself was a fucking miracle.
“Was that good, babe?” Charlie asked, smiling.
“Fuck, yeah.”
Miles nuzzled his neck from behind. “One last thing I forgot to tell you. From now on, you can’t come without my permission, unless you’re playing with Charlie. If you do come, I’ll have to discipline you, you understand?”
Brad was a fucking mess with cum, snot, a
nd saliva everywhere, not to speak of his ass that was stinging like a motherfucker. Yet he was the happiest and most relaxed he’d been in years. He leaned his head back, kissed his man on the mouth.
“Whatever you say, Daddy.”
15
Josh woke up before Connor did, a rare occasion. At first, he wasn’t sure what had woken him, but when he shifted slightly he knew. They’d had another session with Master Mark yesterday, and he’d taught Connor how to use a cane. Fuck, Josh’s ass had been on fire, the pain beyond what he had experienced so far.
Connor had noticed it, had safe worded them both with a code yellow and had slowed down considerably. Josh had never been more aware of how well Connor could read him. Master Mark had been impressed, too, and had praised them both for how in tune they were.
It had just been too much, too overwhelming. It was a different kind of pain than spanking or paddling, much sharper and deeper. He’d flown high, soaring in subspace, until the pain had become too much. But damn, it had been a good session.
He loved going there with Connor, loved learning more about the Dom/sub lifestyle that brought them both so much pleasure and peace. They were experimenting with all kinds of things and were both learning more about their preferences.
The shibari, for instance, hadn’t done much for either of them. Josh was by nature a patient man, but the slow process of tying him up hadn’t fulfilled his craving for being used. Master Mark had taken some pictures of Josh after Connor had tied him up according to the instructions, and on an intellectual level Josh thought it beautiful, but emotionally it didn’t do shit for him. Luckily, Connor had felt the same.
The cane, however, he definitely wanted to try again, and Master Mark had suggested they’d try a whip as well. Josh couldn’t wait. The regular sessions he was now doing with Connor were helping tremendously in keeping his PTSD symptoms manageable.
He shifted again, his ass burning hot against the cool sheets. Connor had put lotion on it, as he always did after a session, but it sure didn’t help much this time. Josh suspected he was sporting some serious marks.
Next to him, Connor groaned. “Why are you awake? It’s too early, baby, go back to sleep.”
“My ass hurts.”
Connor turned on a soft lamp and took Josh back in his arms, his hand gently patting Josh’s ass. He kissed Josh’s head. “Was I too violent?”
Josh put his hand on Connor’s chest, as always marveling in his man’s sheer strength. “Nah. It’s different, deeper, but it will help me focus throughout the day.”
Connor’s hand brushed his hair. “It will help you remember who you belong to as well,” he said.
Josh smiled. “Yes, Connor. You know I’m yours, baby.”
Connor’s muscles tightened, and he was quiet for a few seconds, apparently mulling something over. “Do you want him?” Connor asked.
Josh had a quick intake of breath. There was no doubt who the “him” was. He turned on his side so he could meet Connor’s inquisitive gaze completely open. “Yes.”
Connor swallowed. “You love him.”
“Yes.”
“Did you always?” It wasn’t the most eloquent of questions, but Josh understood.
“I think I did, but I didn’t know it. My love for Indy, it’s different from what I feel for you, or for Noah. With Noah, it’s this secure love, the knowledge that he’s there. Aside from the fact that we fucked, he’s like a brother to me, my rock and strong protector. With you… Fuck, Connor, my love for you is this big thing that fills me completely. You’re a fire that consumes me whole, and I love it. Our love is bold, dominating, big, and demanding. Indy, he’s…” Josh’s eyes turning soft, dreamy. “He’s the breeze that cools me down, that gives me air to breathe.”
Connor’s eyes widened as the truth hit him. “You don’t love him, you’re in love with him.”
Josh bit his lip, but still met his eyes. “Please, don’t be mad, Connor. I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“Do you still love me?”
He looked so insecure, and it broke Josh’s heart. The last thing he wanted was to ever hurt this man. “Fuck, yes, babe. So very much. It’s different, and I know I’m doing a sucky job of explaining it, but I love you both.”
“Do you still want to be with me?”
Connor was holding his heart out, more vulnerable than Josh had ever seen him. “Yes,” Josh whispered. “If you’ll still have me.”
Connor’s blue eyes were full of doubt, much like they had been when they had first met. “I don’t know how to do this, how to love you less so I can let you go.”
Panic filled Josh. “I don’t want you to let me go.”
Connor kissed him. Devoured was a more accurate description. Fuck, how could Connor think Josh would ever want to lose this? He wanted him, wanted them both. Connor’s tongue attacked, dueled with Josh’s until Josh surrendered, like he always did, letting Connor invade him.
Finally, Connor seemed to have his fill—at least for now. He pulled back, studied Josh once more. “I didn’t mean letting you go, baby. I could never do that. I meant letting you go to him. What if you end up loving him more? What if you choose him?”
Tears filled Josh’s eyes. “I’m not choosing. I love you both. I’m so sorry, Connor. I never meant for this to happen.”
“I know, baby. I know. It’s… I’m trying to understand it. I can see it, how much you need him, too. And he’s a good man, baby, he is. What you two have is special, but… I’m not jealous so much as scared. I don’t know how this would work.”
Josh’s heart rate slowed down a little. “I don’t know, either. But we can figure it out together. You, me, Indy, and Noah.”
Connor swallowed. “Noah, he’s on board with this?”
Josh nodded. “Yeah. But it’s easier for him, since he’s shared Indy with me from the start.”
“I don’t get that, because he’s crazy jealous if others so much as look at Indy.”
Josh smiled, because it was so true. “I know, but Indy and me doesn’t bother him.”
“I don’t think the sex would bother me,” Connor said.
“Would you feel better if you could watch us? I know you like that.”
Connor’s cheeks flushed. “Don’t get embarrassed, babe,” Josh said softly. “I love it. Makes me feel less of a freak.”
“I think I would like that, yes. How were you and Indy planning on moving forward?”
Josh gently shook his head. “We don’t have a plan, baby. We’re not doing anything until you’re one hundred percent okay with it.”
Connor kissed him softly. “I think I am, but baby, will you ask me permission when the time comes?”
“Yes, Connor. Always.”
An hour or two later he was in the kitchen, preparing breakfast with Indy. Noah and Connor were already at the huge kitchen table, happily reading their newspaper. Josh loved Sunday mornings when they were all together for an unhurried, extensive breakfast.
Brad walked into the kitchen, his face predicting heavy thunderstorms. Max followed him, sticking close as always. Uh oh. Trouble in paradise, apparently.
Brad’s meltdown a few days earlier had confirmed what Connor had reported from a conversation he’d witnessed between Brad and Miles about Charlie: the three of them were involved with each other, though the exact dynamics hadn’t been clear. No wonder, as it had to be fucking complicated building something solid between three people. Josh would know, what with his heart belonging to Connor and Indy both.
The whole thing with Brad did seem to have had positive effects, though. Miles had told them he was experimenting with a daddy-dynamic with Brad and had asked them not to interfere. Josh had utter respect for Miles for figuring out that was what Brad needed, though it had to make their threesome even more complicated.
Still, Brad had come back, had basically moved into Miles’ room with Charlie. At some point, they’d have to talk about long term arrangements, but for now, Noah and Indy didn’t
seem to mind to be in the guest room next door to him and Connor. On the contrary, sharing a bathroom had proven to be quite…entertaining. Connor’s exhibitionist side was coming to the surface more and more, and Josh fucking loved it. Connor had displayed so many inhibitions, his proud, insecure man, but he was shredding them one by one.
“Good morning,” he said to Brad, who quietly took a spot all the way at the end of the table.
“Morning,” he replied, but Josh couldn’t make out if he was curt or shy. Like him, Brad was an introvert, so Josh never took his gruffness personally. Then Brad shifted and a flash of pain painted his face. Josh bit back a grin, because he knew exactly what was causing Brad’s mood. Apparently, someone had needed a reminder of who was in charge.
“Good morning,” Miles offered, stepping into the kitchen as well, followed by Charlie.
Friendly greetings flew around the kitchen.
“Brad, what can I get you for breakfast?” Miles asked.
Hmm, interesting dynamic, Josh observed. Brad submitted to Miles, but he didn’t take care of him as Josh did of Connor. It was the other way around. Again, this made sense. Brad didn’t react to Miles’ question, though.
Miles took two steps forward, yanked Brad up by his arm and was in his face. “I asked you a question. Are you gonna answer me or do you want to walk around with a red ass all day? Do not challenge me, boy, because I will spank the shit out of you all over again, and they’ll all get to watch. I’ll ask one more time: what can I get you for breakfast?”
Brad swallowed once, then his shoulders came down. “Scrambled eggs, please, with toast.”
Miles didn’t back off, stayed an inch away from him. Apparently, he wasn’t satisfied yet.
Brad sighed, the embarrassment on his face clear. “Scrambled eggs, please, Daddy, with toast, please.”
Miles nodded. “Sit your ass down and don’t talk until breakfast is served.” He waited till Brad had sat down again, avoiding everyone’s eyes. “What would you like, love?” His tone to Charlie was completely different, full of kindness and love.
No Shame: The Complete Series: Including exclusive bonus materials and deleted scenes Page 100
