The call came later that day through Wander’s phone. He took Noah aside. “I asked my brother to call me if there was any news about Connor’s mother. He’s on the phone, wondering if he should talk to Connor directly?”
Noah could see the truth on his face and his heart sank. “Dammit,” he cursed. “I’ll take the call and tell him.”
Dwyer, the DA, was kind as he relayed the news. Brenda O’Connor, née Fitzpatrick, had been arrested on charges of first-degree murder for the death of George Fitzpatrick, her brother. During questioning, she’d not only confessed to that murder—with details that proved she’d done it—but also to arranging for the sniper attack on her other brother, Brian, and his two sons.
Dwyer’s voice turned emotionless as he informed Noah that she’d provided them with the name of the hitman she’d hired—who had turned out to be dead as well. Sadly, once brought back to her holding cell, she’d committed suicide with an unknown substance the detectives hadn’t been aware she’d had on her body. She’d died despite attempts to revive her.
By sheer force of will, Noah was able to prevent himself from reacting. God, he was so damn grateful he’d taken the call. In his grief, Connor might’ve blurted out something and incriminated himself.
“That’s a rather shocking turn of events,” he said, fighting to keep his voice level.
“It is. They’ll do a formal evaluation, but the FBI’s preliminary reaction was that this closes their investigation into the shooting in Boston. I’m sure you’ll all be relieved to hear that this case can finally be put to rest.”
He knows. The way Dwyer worded that suggested he knew the truth. “I’m sure, though it will be a hard hit for Connor to hear his mother was behind it.”
Dwyer didn’t miss a beat. “He has my deepest sympathies. I hope that in time, the memory of his mother’s love for him will comfort him.”
There was no doubt anymore. The man knew, and for reasons Noah could only guess at, had decided to pretend he believed the story Brenda O’Connor had told and confessed to.
“Will the trial continue as planned?” Noah asked.
“Yes. The judge has informed us it will start January tenth. I’d advise you to keep your security detail until the trial is over. Wander and I agree that the threat level is low now, but let’s stay careful until then.”
Noah couldn’t agree more. He wouldn’t believe it until the whole damn thing was behind them.
“Thank you,” he said, meaning it. “We really appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome. All the best to you and your family.”
They held Connor for a long time, Josh, Indy, and Noah, as he raged and wept for his mom. When it got to be too much for Josh, Indy took him to Wander and stood guard with Josh as his safe word while Wander dommed him into subspace. Noah held Connor until he fell asleep, exhausted. And even as his heart broke for Connor, Noah was filled with gratitude they were carrying his grief together.
15
Connor was still tense with pain and grief, even as he hung on the couch like a wrung-out dishcloth, Josh draped on his belly on top of him, silently offering him comfort. They were all hanging out in the living room, watching Die Hard for the umpteenth time. Even Wander was watching with them, though his posture was showing he was still alert.
Under any other circumstance, rewatching his favorite Christmas movie would've made Connor happy, but now, his insides felt like a big, gaping hole. Empty. Dark. Stormy.
He’d thought that after losing Lucas, nothing could ever hurt that bad. He’d been wrong. Even though they hadn’t been speaking anymore, he’d always known his mom was there if he needed her. And now she was gone. And her last act had been to protect him, to set him free to live. For all her faults and shortcomings, she’d come through in that final moment.
True to her intention, it wasn’t guilt that was wrecking him, but rather a bone-deep sadness. She was gone. The woman who had given birth to him, who had given him life, was gone forever, another victim of the senseless cycle of violence that had torn his family apart.
He’d cried multiple times since that phone call—and fuck, he’d been grateful Noah had taken it for him—but his body had so much pent-up energy. Connor wasn’t sure if it was grief or anger over how she’d died, but he wished he had a way to let it out.
He longed for a hard, long fuck right now. But Josh was not an option. He didn’t want to make the same mistake he’d made after Lucas. Plus, Josh was still recovering from his session with Wander, who had flogged him straight into subspace. Even now as they were cuddling, Connor was careful not to touch his back, which was red with beautiful welts.
Maybe… No, he shouldn’t even go there. It was a crazy thought, even if Miles had mentioned it on their wedding day. Hell, he hadn’t even mentioned it to Josh, feeling too guilty about wanting it in the first place. It wouldn’t be fair to Josh, nor to Brad. But damn, the thought of Brad’s eager hole taking the Beast… His cock grew even harder just thinking about it, and he rubbed it absentmindedly, slipping a hand between their bodies.
Josh’s eyes found Connor’s as he noticed. “Babe, you’re hard,” Josh said.
“It’s okay.”
“I can…”
“No, you won’t.” His voice was firm. “I love you, Josh, but you’re in no shape right now.”
“You can use me.”
Brad’s voice was timid, but carried over everything and everyone else, even the sound of John McClane almost getting killed in an endless cascade of breaking glass. Miles hit the pause button, and silence descended.
Brad slid off Miles’s lap and walked toward them, then kneeled on the floor right next to them, facing Josh. “He can use me, with your permission.”
“Brad…” Miles said, his voice hesitant.
Brad swiveled. “You told me you and Charlie were okay with this, that I could offer if I wanted. I want this. You know I do. So I’m telling them, and they can say no if they want.”
“He’s right,” Charlie said. “Brad loves being used. It’s why he was so willing to help Miles, even when he didn’t know him.”
Brad nodded, then met Connor’s eyes, who had trouble breathing at even the thought. “I suck at handling emotions. I’m really sorry about your mom, but I don’t know what to say, how to make you feel better. But this, this I can do to take care of you. You took care of me when Miles was gone. Please, let me take care of you.”
Connor didn’t know what to say. He pushed himself up and disentangled from Josh, careful not to touch his back. “Babe,” he said to him, not sure if it was a plea or a warning.
Josh cocked his head as he made eye contact with Brad. “He’s raw, edgy. He won’t have the patience to be gentle.”
Was he serious? Connor’s mouth dropped open. Was Josh seriously considering this?
“I know. I can handle it.” Brad’s voice was confident.
“Miles, you’ll need to be his safe word,” Josh said. “You keep an eye on him, and you tell Connor when Brad has reached his limit.”
“Babe,” Connor said again when Miles nodded his agreement. How could Josh be okay with this? He shouldn’t feel pressured, just because Connor needed something he couldn’t provide. That wasn’t how it worked.
Josh faced him with the sweetest smile on his lips. “You want this, baby. Be honest. When you knew you couldn’t fuck me, it’s where your mind went. It’s why you’re still hard, because deep down, this is what you were hoping for.”
Hot shame assaulted Connor, and he closed his eyes. He was seriously fucked up for wanting this, and Josh had seen right through him.
“No, don’t do that. Don’t you dare feel ashamed,” Josh said. “I love you. I want you to have this. You’ll fuck him, and we’ll all watch, and you’ll love every second of it. And so will Brad. He needs you as much as you need him right now. Make him feel used, baby, like he’s part of us, because he is.”
His head spun. Fuck Brad while everyone was watching? His cock was so
hard his balls ached. Josh brought their foreheads together, held his shoulders.
“You told me when we met that I did not need to feel ashamed for what I wanted, how I was wired. The same is true for you. This is who you are, baby. You love fucking, you love fucking hard and rough, and dammit, you love doing it in public. You’re perfect the way you are.”
“I love you.” His voice broke.
“I know you do, baby. I want this for you.”
He surrendered to the need thundering through his veins. “Okay.” He kissed Josh, barely able to hold himself in check, then turned to Brad as they both rose. “Strip,” he ordered, his voice low.
“Let’s clear the kitchen table,” Indy said.
“Maybe put a soft blanket on it?” Charlie suggested.
“I’m gonna step out,” Wander said. “You need your privacy now.”
Connor heard and saw, but his attention was focused on Brad, who stripped naked in seconds. The boy’s cock was hard and more than anything else, that told Connor how much he wanted this, because erections still weren’t a guarantee with him.
“Lift your arms, babe.” Josh's voice. Connor obeyed, and Josh pulled his shirt off, then made short work of his socks, pants, and underwear. When his cock sprang free, Brad’s eyes widened, and he licked his lips.
Connor fisted himself once. “You like my cock?” he heard himself say.
“Fuck, yes, Sir.” The ‘Sir’ rolled off Brad’s lips as if he’d done this a thousand times before. “Can I please suck you, Sir?”
He nodded, and seconds later Brad was on his knees in front of him, taking him in, right there in the living room. He hit his throat, but then Brad did something and Connor sank in even deeper, moaning.
Miles had not been exaggerating. Damn, this kid’s mouth was wicked, and he sucked cock like a pro. Connor widened his stance. Brad held his mouth and throat open, forming a perfect O with his mouth, and Connor sank in deep, then pulled out. He fucked that wet, hot mouth deeper than he’d ever experienced before.
“Oh, he’s good,” Indy said.
Connor opened his eyes, suddenly aware everyone was watching. Josh and Indy stood together, Josh holding Indy to his chest. Miles held Charlie, already rubbing himself against Charlie’s ass. And Noah was readjusting his cock, undoubtedly enjoying the performance.
Connor smiled despite it all. Fuck, he loved this. A shiver danced along his spine, his balls tingling. “Close,” he warned Brad, who kept on sucking as if his life depended on it.
Seconds later, he unloaded, Brad swallowing as much as he could, but some of it was dripping down his chin.
“God, look at him,” Charlie said. “Our dirty boy slut, cum leaking out of his mouth. Doesn’t he look beautiful, honey?”
Miles merely groaned, as much in pleasure as in frustration probably.
Brad let go of Connor’s cock and sat back on his knees with an eager look, awaiting instructions.
“You want more, boy?”
“Yes, Sir. Please, Sir.”
“Kitchen,” he pointed.
It was a strange procession of men walking into the kitchen, with Connor and Brad naked and everyone else dressed, but Connor didn’t care.
Charlie put a fleece blanket on the kitchen table, and Brad lowered himself onto his stomach, spreading his legs wide and holding on to the edges of the table with both hands. Miles handed Connor a big bottle of lube. Yeah, they were gonna need that.
He stepped close and smacked Brad hard on his ass. He let out a cute little yelp, which amused Connor so much, he slapped him again. “You ready for my cock, boy?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“You okay with going bare, or do I need a condom?” Connor looked at Miles as he spoke, though his question was aimed at Brad.
“Bare please, Sir. Wanna feel you fill me up.”
“He’s negative. We retested last month,” Miles confirmed.
Connor nodded, content he wouldn’t need a condom. There was no denying the kid was downright eager, and that made him even harder, even after his previous orgasm.
Connor squeezed a good amount of lube onto his fingers. “Open up, boy. I’m gonna start with two fingers, ‘cause I wanna see just how hungry your hole is.”
“Yes, Sir.”
He slid in with ease, Brad pushing back to let him in. “That’s a greedy little hole you’ve got there, boy. You gonna take three fingers for me now?”
“Yes, Sir.”
He pulled out, added a third finger. It met some resistance, but Brad relaxed quickly. “Look at you, taking my fat fingers with ease. Oh, you’re gonna love my cock, aren’t you?”
He scissored his fingers, feeling Brad’s canal clinch around him before he bore down again. Brad had to work for it now, little puffs of breath indicating he was breathing through the burn. His inner sleeve tightened, spasmed, then let go, and Connor pushed his fingers in as far as he could.
“Last chance, Brad. Do you want this?” He changed his tone, didn’t even want to come close to being his Dom or his daddy or whatever the fuck authority figure would push the man’s buttons. He needed to give consent, Brad to Connor, nothing else.
“Yes. Please, Connor. Use me.”
A switch flipped in his head. He grabbed his cock, putting some extra lube on it so it was completely slick. Every eye in the room was trained on his Beast, except for Brad, who lay trembling on the table, his head turned to the side.
He lined up, found Brad’s hole with the fat head of his cock, and pushed in.
“Ugh…” Brad moaned.
Brad’s ass gave way, and he slid in, slow but steady, filling him, breaching him. Everyone was watching how he was fucking. God, he was proud of his cock, proud of his size.
Brad’s whimper transitioned into a high-pitched moan. “Oh…fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…”
He wasn’t completely relaxed, but Connor couldn’t wait anymore. He pulled back about halfway, then slid back in. Brad’s eyes rolled back in his head, and he bit his lip.
“Mmm, what a mighty fine ass you have, boy.”
He pulled further out and surged back in with more force. Brad braced himself against the table.
“Yeah, you better hold on to something, boy, ‘cause I’m about to unload on your ass. You ready for me? You ready to be pounded?”
“Yes, Sir,” Brad managed between clenched teeth. “Bring it, Sir.”
Bring it. Connor shivered with adrenaline. Oh, he would bring it, all right.
He pulled out entirely before ramming back in. Brad whinnied, and the whole table moved at least an inch. “Hold that fucking table,” Connor snapped.
Hands reached out to steady Brad, others to block the table.
“Come on, Connor, pound that ass,” Noah said with a laugh.
He slammed in again, smiling for the first time in days. God, this felt good. He caught Josh's proud look, looking him straight in the eyes as he repeated his move.
Josh's lips curved. “Fuck him harder, baby,” he said.
How could he say no to that? A red haze descended as he let loose, truly let loose, for the first time in his life. Even with Josh, he’d always held back a little, but now all bets were off. Brad’s body spasmed at some point, from an orgasm Connor guessed, but he didn’t care. Nor did he stop when his own orgasm tore through him, unloading his balls with unholy violence. No, he dug his fingers into Brad’s hips and fucked him into oblivion.
He threw his head back, roared, and fucked. And fucked. And fucked.
When another orgasm hit, his knees buckled with the sheer force of it, and Noah’s hands shot out to steady him. “I’ve got you, Connor.”
He pulled out, finally, his cock sore and his balls aching. He was half out of it still as he spun around and kissed Noah with a bruising force. Wait, what? He was kissing Noah? What the fuck?
Noah grinned, touching his lips. “Wrong guy, O’Connor.”
He flipped him around again, then pushed him toward Josh, who stood there, smiling. Tenderness f
looded him, and he sighed as he took his lips in a soft, sweet kiss. His Josh. What had he ever done to deserve someone like him?
“Let’s get you cleaned up, stud,” Josh said.
He was led to the bathroom, where Josh cleaned his cock, then offered him boxers.
He shook his head. “No. Too tender.”
The fog was dissipating. Had he left Brad there, all by himself? Shit, he was a total asshole.
“They’re taking care of him,” Josh reassured him. “You fucked him into subspace, a first for him.”
“I need to see him, make sure he’s okay.”
They walked back to the kitchen, Connor still unsteady. Miles was seated on a chair, Brad draped half across his lap with Miles’s cock in his mouth, which he was sucking off with glazed eyes. It was more suckling he did, as if the sensation of a cock in his mouth soothed him. Meanwhile, Miles was stroking his back, his ass, murmuring sweet words.
“He’s completely out of it,” Josh said. “He’s in heaven.”
“How do we take care of him afterward?” Charlie asked.
“That first time is very disorienting, so you’ll need to let him come down gently. Put him in a bath, cuddle, let him come to his senses. After that, the pain is gonna hit hard. He’ll need aloe lotion for his ass cheeks, and I have some oils for his hole. You may also want to give him some ibuprofen, and he needs a good night’s sleep. He’ll be exhausted, tomorrow as well,” Josh explained.
“Thank fuck it’s break, then,” Charlie said. “‘Cause I don’t think he’ll be able to walk tomorrow.”
16
Only a month ago, they’d stood in this gorgeous wintery garden for a wedding, and here they were again, Blake thought. Only this time, it was his wedding.
He didn’t even feel the cold of the icy wind, his eyes focused on Aaron, who all but danced toward him on Josh’s arm. Josh not only gave him away but stood as his best man as well. It was a testament to how hard the brothers had worked to repair their relationship, and for a second, Blake’s eyes flitted to Burke, who was present, too. They still had a long way to go, but thank fuck his relationship with Brad had recovered, his younger brother standing next to him as his best man.
No Shame: The Complete Series: Including exclusive bonus materials and deleted scenes Page 130
