So Noah leaned over him, covering the man’s body with his own as he sank deep inside him. “We love you, Connor,” he whispered. “I know that’s not what you think you need, but it is.”
“I need you to fuck me,” Connor managed, his voice tight. “Hard. I need you to hurt me.”
Noah set a slow, deep rhythm, their bodies as close as they could be. “You’re wrong, Connor. You can’t fix hurt by getting hurt. You can only fix it by receiving love.”
Connor froze underneath him and Noah stopped, holding perfectly still. “I can’t,” he said, his voice breaking, and Noah had no trouble interpreting what he meant.
“It’s far easier to let us all see you be tough than to see you break down, isn’t it? But we’re your family, Connor. Allow us to be here for you as much as you’ve been here for us.”
He stayed inside him, sensing Connor’s struggle until he spoke again. “Noah…” His voice turned into a sob.
Noah pulled out, and as soon as he did, Connor pushed himself up from the table and turned around to face him, his eyes haunted and broken. “This was supposed to be a hard fuck, damn you.”
Connor shoved him, but it wasn’t that hard, and Noah saw it coming, which he suspected Connor had done on purpose. He didn’t want to make Noah lose balance. He didn’t really want to hurt him.
“I know, but we’re not willing to let you hurt yourself. We love you, Connor.”
Noah saw it happen, the moment the fight left Connor, and that big body lost its tension. “I’m sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Noah did what came naturally. He wrapped both his arms around him and pulled him close, not caring they were both buck naked and that everyone was watching. He held him for minutes before Connor let go.
“I’m s—” he started, but Noah pulled his head down and kissed him, because it seemed to him the easiest way to shut him up.
It wasn’t a fight this time, but a sweet surrender, Connor allowing Noah to take the lead. The heat ignited again, then burned as their mouths met over and over, until they were rutting against each other.
“God, the two of you are incredible,” Josh sighed.
Noah broke off the kiss and found Josh and Indy watching them, plastered against each other again. “So are you,” Noah said, and went back to kissing Connor.
“I still want you to fuck me,” Connor groaned.
Noah leaned back and saw a different look in his eyes. Not hurt, not a desire to forget, but want. That, he could support. “Gladly. But I want to see you.”
The corner of Connor’s mouth pulled up. “You want to make lovey-dovey eyes at me while you’re balls deep inside me, Flint?”
Noah kissed him again, just because he could. Connor needed him, even if he didn’t realize it himself. Noah could wait. He’d damn well learned patience while waiting for Indy.
“I do. You got a problem with that?” he countered.
The look on Connor’s face was priceless, and Noah smiled as he tugged him toward the much more comfortable couch. “You lot can watch, but we need something softer,” he declared, pushing Connor onto his back on the couch.
The man allowed it, otherwise Noah would’ve never managed, but he made use of his compliance and lowered himself on top of him. Connor was still open and Noah was still slick, so he slid right back in with a soft moan.
“You’re damn tight and snug around my cock, O’Connor. I gotta say, it feels good.”
Connor looked at him as if he was batshit crazy, but then a smile spread across his face. “Glad to be of service. Anything I can do to make it an even better experience?”
Noah lowered his head and nicked his bottom lip with his teeth. “Yeah, shut up and kiss me.”
They started out slow and almost sweet, which was unexpected considering the size of their bodies. But then Connor spurred Noah on with little grunts, opening wide.
“Harder,” he said in what was more a command than a request.
Of course he would top from the bottom, Noah thought, but he obliged. This was different. This was Connor getting into it, Connor enjoying getting fucked, taking pleasure from it. Noah aimed straight for his prostate, and Connor’s copiously leaking Beast was proof it was working.
His hands dug into Connor’s hips as Noah pulled back, only to slam back in. Their bodies collided with force now, his balls slapping wet against Connor’s flesh. He flexed his hips, drove in again. And again, Connor encouraged him by putting one of those big, meaty hands on his ass and pulling him in. The other went to his dick, which he started jerking off furiously.
Connor came seconds before Noah did, spraying Noah’s chest with cum. Noah himself came so hard his breath stopped in his lungs, his balls unloading painfully. He had to blink a few times before his eyes would focus again and he dropped on top of Connor, thanking his lucky stars the man could take his weight. God, he was sweaty all over from the sheer exertion.
Much to his surprise, Connor’s hands came around him, and the big man held him, nuzzling Noah’s neck with affection. “Thank you,” he said. “For knowing what I needed even when I didn’t.”
Noah grunted, too tired to lift a finger. A few minutes later, Connor lifted him off him, waiting to release him till he’d found his footing. Someone held out a bottle of water, and Noah grabbed it, guzzling it down. Phew, that was better. He’d been parched. Fucking Connor was a workout.
Connor slapped him on his shoulder. “Was that as good for you as it was for me?” he quipped, and Noah’s heart surged at seeing how much lighter he was.
“It was, big guy. I’ll fuck you anytime you want.”
Connor laughed, the sound happier than Noah had heard from him in days.
Noah smiled as he looked around the room. God, he loved these people, each and every one of them. Josh had Indy on his lap, kissing him as if he had no intention of ever letting him go. Miles was sunk low in a reading chair with Brad riding his cock, while Charlie was about to feed his cock to Brad. Meanwhile, Max was gnawing on some bone, looking as happy and blissed out as all the humans in the room.
Indy was right: they were a family. The kinkiest family ever and certainly no angels, but whatever. They had each other’s backs. He sighed with contentment as he took another sip of water and leaned against Connor.
Best. Christmas. Ever.
Acknowledgments
The idea to write a holiday sequel to the No Shame series came to me months ago. Kind of like a Christmas in July moment, really. And man, I loved writing this book. I wrote it while I was going through a tough period and dealing with a lot of stress and grief, but writing this helped me deal.
These boys will always be special to me. I fell in love with them a little as I created them kind of like a first love. No Filter was the first book I published, and this series became more successful than I could have ever imagined. Even though over a year later, I can see faults and weaknesses, I’m still proud of how I wrote it.
The relationship between Indy and Josh especially was one I struggled with at first. This was my first book, my first series, so how would readers react to something they might at first perceive as cheating? It never was to me, not once they showed me how much they loved each other, and then Noah and Connor were on board as well. I’m still proud for writing it the way it was supposed to be, with all four of them in that messy, complicated relationship.
This book is the continuation of that love, the logical fulfillment, really, with Noah and Connor sharing something as well. They had to, at some point, the chemistry between them too strong not to. But it was never about sex… It’s always been about love, in whatever shape or form.
So, we say goodbye to our men once again. For now. But: I’ve planned a spin off series for 2019 where you may see them again, so stay tuned!
A massive thank you to everyone who scrambled to make this release happen after my schedule was thrown off by personal circumstances.
Vicki, I have to mention you first, because in this pa
st year, you’ve not only become my right hand, but my sanity and my BFF. I know we don’t do mushy, but I love you, woman.
Kyleen, thank you for your support and flexibility…and for not making me feel guilty. I’m still so fucking proud to be your writing partner.
A big thanks to my loyal beta readers, who managed another fast turnaround on this one. Tania, the other Tania, Vicki, Kyleen, Tanja, Amanda, and Abbie, your feedback was fantastic. Thank you so much.
Sloan, you nailed the cover once again. Love it.
And last but not least: Jamie, I owe you for editing this one. And the next one, And the ones after that, haha. Thank you for shifting your schedule around to fit this in after my planning went to hell. I promise that one day, I will get my prepositions right. Until then, you’ll have to endure hands in necks, haha.
Also by Nora Phoenix
No Shame Series:
No Filter
No Limits
No Fear
No Shame
No Angel
No Shame: The Complete Series
(With Bonus Materials and Deleted Scenes)
Irresistible Omegas Series (mpreg):
Alpha’s Sacrifice
Alpha’s Submission
Beta’s Surrender
Alpha’s Pride
Beta’s Strength
Ignite Series (dystopian/sci-fi):
Ignite
Stand Alones:
The Time of My Life
Kissing the Teacher
Ballsy Boys Series (with K.M. Neuhold):
Ballsy (free prequel)
Rebel
Tank
Heart
Campy
No Shame: The Complete Series: Including exclusive bonus materials and deleted scenes Page 133
