by C. R. Jane
He offers me his arm and I reluctantly take it. We walk down the dark hallway for what seems like miles until we suddenly enter an enormous room that I haven't been in yet. It's as large as one of the ballrooms in my palace, and it's filled with rows of tables set up in a square on the outside of the room. The seats all face the center of the room and I wonder what the empty space is used for. The room becomes silent as we walk in and the occupants all bow or curtsy low to me as He leads me in a slow procession designed to show me off rather than introduce me to my people. I nod at them one by one and I see the pity in their eyes as they look at me. My whole life people have looked at me with respect, if not for my own sake then out of respect for my mother. Ever since she got sick pity is all I've seen, especially since they think that my mother's power wasn't passed down to me. I hate it.
He leads me to my seat and servants come rushing through several entrances that lead into the room, carrying steaming platters of food. My plate is heaped high and I think it's fitting that I don't even have the choice as to what I want to eat anymore. I stare at my plate in disgust. Our people have never been meat eaters, preferring to get our nutrients from the land. My plate is full of meat and as I look around I see the room's occupants eating it with gusto. How was my mother so unaware as to what was going on with our people?
He tries to get me to participate in conversation but it's a battle He's not going to win. I pick at the few vegetable options on my plate and I nod when required. When the plates are finally taken away I give a sigh of relief that I will be able to return to my room soon. He dashes my hopes though.
"We have a special entertainment for you tonight," He whispers in my ear. "I guarantee you won't have seen anything like it."
I shiver involuntarily at the feeling of His warm breath on my neck. I wonder what they call "entertainment" here. Beheadings maybe?
I'm studying the pattern in the intricately woven tablecloth when everyone in the room suddenly starts to chatter excitedly. I look up hesitantly, sure that something ghastly is about to happen. I almost drop out of my chair though when I see the man that is being led in wearing thick chains. I can immediately feel the seductive power pouring out of him but there's something else about him that feels so captivating it's hard to breathe. There hasn't been another man that has ever captured my attention since I met Beckham. I had vowed that even if my body belonged to someone else through matrimony, my heart would always belong to Beckham. Shame is coursing through me though right now as I fight the feelings that are erupting inside of me at the sight of this prisoner.
Just like Beckham, he's beautiful, but in a more haunting way. Before what happened to us, Beckham had always had a blessed life with little suffering. This beautiful creature in front of me has had a lifetime of sorrow and my heart instantly wants to comfort him.
I feel so attracted to him that I can feel my body responding even though he's kept his gaze firmly on the ground, not looking at anyone in the eye. He's easily one of the tallest men in the room, with long, dark brown hair that falls nearly halfway down his back, tied back with what looks like a leather strap. He has a straight aristocratic nose and perfect, full lips. I ache to see the color of his eyes beneath the long eyelashes that hide them from me. He's not wearing a top and his perfectly carved body is covered in strange runes, in a language that I've never seen before. They cover every inch and I find myself wondering if they cover the rest of his body as well. He's dressed in simple linen pants that leave very little to the imagination. A wave of heat passes over me and I don't hear Him asking me a question until He touches my shoulder.
"Are you ready for the show? I believe he is one of the last of the incubi. This will be a rare treat for you."
The heat turns into sickness. Growing up, I heard the maids giggling and whispering to each other about the incubi. Cursed with uncontrollable sex appeal, they survive on the energy from living beings, almost always needing to feed through sex. I'm saddened, but also somewhat relieved to think that my reaction to this prisoner is from his powers, and not from some other strange bond. I was almost thinking that what I was feeling was similar to what I felt when my fated mate bond fell into place with Beckham. I'm not betraying Beckham after all though.
I move to get up again, even though I know it will get His disapproval, but I'm once again frozen when the beautiful creature opens his mouth. A melody floats out of his mouth, so awe-inspiring that I feel like my heart has begun to sing with him. I want to get closer to him, to join in the song that somehow, inexplicably, I know. I've never been so overcome from another's voice. He finally looks up and I can feel the tension in my body build as I wait for his eyes to meet mine. It's sweet agony when we finally lock eyes. His eyes remind me of an ocean, vast and full of secrets. I feel like I could jump inside his soul and never be seen again. His eyes widen in surprise and his voice cuts off for a moment before he continues. I can tell from the gasp from the crowd that he hasn't done that before. There's a burning in my heart and my head feels light and clouded. This creature feels like he's mine, the same as the sense of ownership I feel with Beckham. I'm not sure that I can attribute what I'm feeling to his powers, it feels exactly the same as it did with Beckham when I knew he was my fated mate. My breathing is coming out in slight gasps and I'm gripping the side of my chair to keep myself grounded. There's a light sweat on the back of my neck.
He puts a hand on my knee.
"Everything alright?" He asks. "This is your first time in the presence of an incubus, isn't it? It can be extremely overwhelming." His hand slides higher up my thigh. "It's hard to control the urges that one feels." It goes higher. "The urge to fuck and fuck hard."
I shiver, but this time it's in disgust. The incubus is staring at me with almost a look of anger as he takes in the scene before me. I take His hand and place it on His lap near His bulging groin. "Trust me when I say that there's no magic in any of the worlds that could ever turn me on enough to want you," I tell Him. A look of rage passes over His face before he wipes it away. He leans in close to my ear.
"Someday I will make you beg me to touch you, mark my words."
The room has erupted into some kind of sexual crescendo. Couples and groups are all over each other, doing all manner of things that should definitely not be done in public. The incubus isn't watching any of them though, his face probably would pass for boredom if there wasn't something in his eyes that let me know he was intensely aware of every move I made. The last notes of his song fade into the room and I feel like I've been forever changed.
Suddenly, my task seems almost insurmountable. I already felt like I was going to die having to give up Beckham. It feels like a cruel trick of fate that there's another being that I will have the unfortunate burden of living without. I don't know how I can survive.
"Why is he wearing chains?" I ask Him, unable to keep all of my emotion out of my words.
"Do you see how dangerous he is?" he asks, sweeping his hand across the room at the sexual chaos currently occurring. I move my eyes back to the table when I see a particularly sordid scene.
"He would be able to walk out of here easily with his powers. The chains at least make it so that my guards can be distracted and he still can't go anywhere."
Cries of ecstasy fill my ears and it is suddenly my only wish to leave the room. A thought strikes me before I make the attempt however.
"You don't seem to be affected," I remark, wondering how He is able to stay out of the fray considering our ongoing sexless relationship.
"I haven't been able to so much as look at another woman with any kind of emotion since I first set eyes on you. It's pure agony and yet my head can't even comprehend touching anyone else besides you. So, you see, although I
am indeed affected, the only individual that it's focused on is you."
He brushes the top of my breast and laughs at my indignant expression.
"Go ahead and scurry away my sweet. I may not be interested in touching, but I'll certainly look since you've shut the gates for the time being."
As much as I want to leave the room I feel true sorrow at leaving the poor incubus to his fate tonight. There's also the fit of jealousy that races through me at the thought of someone else touching him. I don't know that I wouldn't burn the whole castle down if they used him for more than to set the mood.
I turn to Him and surprise Him by willingly taking His hands in mine. "I'll stay, but I want the chains removed and I want his living situation improved. I find no entertainment in watching a slave perform."
He looks at me suspiciously, trying to understand why I all of a sudden am interested. I try to let a little of the emotion I am feeling show in my face so He can think I'm being affected by the incubus. I give Him the doe-eyed look that I would give Beckham anytime I wanted him to do something for me and He falls for it.
"Guards," he says abruptly. "Unchain the creature."
The guards have been eyeing two girls making out, but they jump to attention at His command. They hesitantly approach the prisoner and unchain him. The incubus looks confused but holds out his wrist willingly, not taking his eyes off our table. I want to know his name. It seems disrespectful to what I'm feeling to call him that but I'm sure that asking for his name will arouse suspicion.
The night drags on. I deal with His unwanted touches. I imagine that its Beckham or the incubus touching me instead of Him and it makes me able to get through the night without losing my mind. I sneak glances at the incubus as the hours pass. Without fail, the incubus is always watching me, his eyes laden with promises. It's almost dawn when the incubus finally stops his performance, his exhaustion apparent.
He looks around in surprise, face heavy with lust. "My Queen, please allow me to accompany you to your room?" He begs me.
"Not tonight," I whisper to Him, stroking the side of His face and standing up. He's too blissed out from a night of the incubus's magic to voice any real protest as I walk away from our table. The incubus is standing in the center of the room, staring at me as I approach him. We lock eyes as I idle past, promises exchanged between two strangers. I can feel his eyes on me as I exit the room and I feel a sense of foreboding. I gave up Beckham to keep him alive, what will it cost this creature if he gets too close?
I groggily sit up in bed the next morning, nodding blearily at Gwenny as she bustles around the room, picking up various items and setting the table for breakfast. It's only after breakfast, when I'm walking to the fairy circle with Aiden that I realize that the night before was the first time I had dreamed since that very first night. How strange.
My thoughts feel heavy as I step into the fairy circle and the mushrooms seem to respond to my mood, pulsing slowly without the usual burst of energy I feel from them.
"Let's begin with trying to control those vines again," says Aiden, and I prepare for another long day.
Chapter 9
Beckham
It's too silent here. Uncannily silent in fact. In a jungle like this there should be birds, insects, anything making a noise. As we get deeper into the journey though, the world has only gotten quieter. The quiet gives me too much time to think. Memories haunt me, each one of them featuring Eva as its star. I now know I have a mother and a father, but their memories fail to spark the heartache that my memories of Eva do. I was supposed to have forever with Eva, and He took them all away, a He that evades my memory. Even if I manage to get Eva to honor our bond, I'll never get that time back.
The Eva in this life is different from the Eva of my memories. The Eva I knew then was slightly spoiled, not in a bad way, but in a way that made her woefully unprepared to deal with His entrance into our lives. The Eva in this life has already been through so much before meeting me. The fact that she possesses the same sweetness and unfettered spirit as the old Eva is a miracle in itself. One that I will never take for granted when we get her back. The word "if" struggles through my unconsciousness but I punch it down. We will be successful no matter what it costs us.
Since using my persuasion on him, Liu has kept a steady pace. We've been walking for three days now, the fog only getting thicker the farther into the park we go. We've been forced to stop every night since visibility has been zero even for my supernaturally enhanced eyes. I've tried to take advantage and get some sleep, but the eerie silence of the night, and my full head, has made it impossible to. At this rate, I feel like I'm halfway to becoming a jianzhi myself from lack of sleep. I've noticed that Mason seems to be struggling as well, not just from lack of sleep, but from lack of feeding. There's obviously been nothing sexual happening on the trip. I haven't even had so much as a morning wood since I found out Eva was gone. I can only imagine how Mason's feeling. He looks gaunt, like every step is a struggle. I'm not sure that he should have even come on the trip in his state.
At night our conversations have inevitably gravitated towards Eva. We're all obsessed, even Lexi suffers from the same ailment, although I've steadfastly avoided asking her if her devotion for Eva extends to more than best friends. I don't need any more competition for her heart. I'm sure Liu is halfway in love with her as well just from listening to the glowing way we all speak of her.
There's a note of heartbreak in my memories of Eva now though. The knowledge that she left me in our past life leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, as if I wasn't good enough. The memory of the exact reason she left me hasn't been returned to me, I'm sure Lexi had to be selective in the memories she returned to me thanks to being bound by Eva's spell. And I'm sure that the reason she married him is a very good one, a necessary one. But I can't help but think there would never be a reason that I would have left her. Maybe that makes me a selfish fool, but nothing could have convinced me to leave my fated mate, not now, not then. I face the same situation now though as I did then. She could decide to pick Mason or Damon and leave me once again. I don't think I could survive. I don't think I survived it then.
When I'm not feeling sorry for myself or talking about Eva with the group, I'm worrying about Eva. Lexi has become more and more withdrawn as we've walked, offering few details of any information she's gotten about Eva thanks to her tethering spell. I don't like it. It feels like she's on her own team, and it's not necessarily one with the same aims as the rest of us. Unfortunately, I have little choice but to keep the peace with her, so I've kept my mouth closed up to this point.
We're gathered around a campfire. I'm heating up some of the shit army rations Damon procured for us. I shouldn't complain though, who knows if Eva is even being fed. With that thought I set aside my meal, feeling sick to my stomach. Just then, Lexi starts rocking back and forth, muttering to herself. This continues for a full minute until she starts to have what looks like a seizure. Damon stands up and pushes her off her log, I assume trying to knock her out of whatever is going on. She opens her eyes and looks around the campfire, as if she's forgotten where she was.
Damon, possessing his usual charm, crouches down in front of her and grabs her by her collar.
"Alright witch, I've had enough of this shit. What are you hiding?" he growls, giving her a little shake.
I can tell that she is using her witchy power to zap him but he's holding on even as I watch the tremors go through his arms.
"Get off me," she says through gritted teeth. Mason and I let the scene play out. Damon's tactics may be harsh, but it's how we are all feeling.
Liu gives a squeak and stands up when Damon lifts Lexi in the air, continuing to demand she tell us what's going on. I quickly order him to sit down, sparing our guide from probably getting killed for interfering with an o
ut-of-control Damon.
"Damon, put her down," I finally say, when I'm afraid Lexi's head is going to fall off from being shaken so hard. "I'll just order her to tell us," I say lazily. I only like to use my persuasion power when it's absolutely necessary. The whole thing about taking away someone's free will has always left a bad taste in my mouth. Lexi has earned this one though.
"Lexi, tell us what you've been hiding," I order her, letting the power leak through my voice.
Her face slackens, and she gets the same day-dream looking face that Liu has had for the past few days.
"He has Eva in some sort of deep sleep. He's manipulated her dreams so that she thinks she's in Tir Na Nog with Him. I decided to try and interfere with the dream to try and wake her up."
"Tell us what you did to interfere with her dream," I demand hesitantly.
"I tried to kill her," answers Lexi. At that statement, Damon grabs Lexi again, I'm assuming to kill her. Mason, using probably the last of his strength, yanks Damon off of Lexi and throws him to the ground.
"Why the fuck did you do that?" demands Damon, his wings outstretched menacingly. "Did you not hear her say she tried to kill Eva?"
"I heard her say that she is trying to wake her up, you idiot," I respond coolly.
"That's exactly what I was saying," snaps Lexi as she pulls herself from Damon's grasp and gives him a good shock for measure that sends Damon falling to his ass. Apparently, my persuasion has worn off.
She gives me a glare.
"Don't do that again Beckham," she seethes.
I just shrug nonchalantly at her. Definitely not making any promises there.
"We have to keep trying to interfere with the dreams He's planting in her mind. If it goes on for too long, she'll lose the ability to know what's real and not real. She could be lost to us forever."
I sit up at that comment. "Why haven't you said anything?" I snap at her.
