by Jada Fisher
Leave it alone, girl. None of that is any good.
Ukrah heard Tayir’s stern command, but she ignored him, taking a step forward. There wasn’t anything that spectacular in front of her. No idols or ceremonial daggers. There was just a large bone—a horse’s maybe—a plain silver basin filled with water, and another container that held…dirt? How strange.
Another step forward, but the thrumming grew more insistent. It vibrated through her teeth and her bones, making her feel as if she was starting to rattle. She needed… She needed… What?
She reached the center of the table, where the basin sat, and looked at her reflection in the still water. Except, there was nothing there.
Well, there was the water itself, but no reflection. Just a shimmering layer of blue-silver, perfectly still in every way.
The sheer wrongness of it made her skin crawl, a strange counterpoint to the thrumming that was still steadily beating at the back of her skull. There needed to be a reflection there. There needed to be…
She reached over to the bone, her fingers gliding along the porous material. It was old, so old, and a strange taste bloomed on the back of her tongue as she touched it. It reminded her of…wide open skies, and the heat of battle. Of pure joy and bitter fear. Of times long, long passed, but longing to come back.
That was far too much to get from just a bone, and yet that was exactly what she felt. Idly, she picked it up with her left hand, bringing it to her chest and holding it here. What was she even trying to do?
She didn’t have an answer, but the world seemed to be winking out all around her, leaving just her and the basin. Her and all the whispers telling her that she needed to do…more.
For the first time in minutes, she looked up to the God-Woman and her friends, but they weren’t there. The balcony was cloaked in shadow, with burning red eyes staring down at her. They weren’t malevolent, but there was something utterly intense about the gaze. As if those crimson portals were just waiting to see what she would do.
The shadows should have been terrifying, but they weren’t. They were familiar, all dark and warm and comforting. Like old friends she hadn’t seen in so long. She felt like if she listened intently, she would hear the whispers coming from them, giving her advice that she didn’t know if she should or shouldn’t listen to.
Ukrah, step away from the table. You’re not ready.
Wasn’t ready for what? She didn’t know, but she had to. She had to.
There was a small sound beside her, and she realized that her other hand was on the container of dirt. Picking it up, she hugged that to her chest too.
The thrumming grew to an all-out furor and the world cracked. Piece by piece, it fell away into the void, until there was only the shadows and eyes on the balcony, the table, and Ukrah.
“What do you want me to do?” Ukrah heard herself say, words coming out without her even thinking about it.
There wasn’t an answer, per se, more like just a rush of feeling, and the next thing she knew, she was removing the top of the dirt container.
She couldn’t say why she did what she did, or even if she had that much of a choice. It was like she was both outside of her body and inside of it at the same time. She wondered if this was what it had been like when she’d been tied to the stake, before she’d fallen unconscious.
She didn’t think so. What was happening in front of her seemed so entirely different. She was a participant, whereas previously she had been more of a puppet, something terrifying and powerful doing things without her permission.
Without another moment delayed, she dumped the dirt into the water, ruining the sparkling, pristine color it had been. But that wasn’t enough. The thrumming was so loud now that she felt like it was in her heart, changing the way it beat. Changing her.
Her other hand moved with the bone, dipping down into the water and stirring it. And stirring it. And stirring it. She didn’t stop, going faster and faster, until suddenly the water went from muddy and dark to a vibrant, unflinching gold.
She dropped the bone into the water, stepping back in surprised, only for the length to disappear as soon as it hit the liquid. That seemed to be some sort of catalyst. A burst of gold dust exploded out of the basin and hit Ukrah right in the face.
She stumbled back, swearing and coughing, tears streaming from her eyes.
But then all her worry about what she inhaled faded as there was a burst of light from the bowl and….something came rushing out at her.
It was hot, scalding hot, and she scrambled back on her hands, scuttling like a scorpion. Her lungs felt like they were on fire, her eyes watering even more, but she managed to look up to see there was something in the golden eruption.
Or maybe…many somethings.
She couldn’t make out one solid shape. In fact, she wasn’t sure that it even had a shape. It was massive and all encompassing, and the thrumming in her head was an all-out assault, making her entire body thump with its power.
Look what you’ve done! Ukrah! Get back!
It was just so much. It was everything. It burned out all her senses and scorched the world around her. And yet, as much as it was hurting her, as much as it was threatening to tear everything apart, she didn’t sense violence or anger from it. It wasn’t trying to bring her harm. But like an ant caught on the boot of a hunter, she was just caught up in something utterly beyond her.
Something that seemed connected to the tiniest building blocks of what made her world. It was beautiful, really, in a truly spine-chilling way.
But just as Ukrah was sure she would succumb to it, the eyes on the balcony moved, merging in the shadows and flitting down the wall, then along the floor, until it made a circle all around her. Instantly, a cooling, soothing rush filled her body, and for the first time in minutes, she could finally breathe.
Her panic eased and her lungs filled, her eyes drying and her heart calming. And the more she relaxed, the more the shadow resting below her began to fill until it lifted from the floor, surrounding her like a comforting blanket.
A blanket which lifted her to her feet, lifted her into the air. When she looked down, she could see those burning red eyes in the dark mass under her, supporting her.
Protecting her.
The whispers were louder now, telling her that she wasn’t alone, and she was safe. That she could challenge the brilliant cloud of gold in front of her. It was in that moment that she realized that the many things in the cloud didn’t like being there either. They wanted to be free.
They needed her to free them. They were begging her. As beautiful and powerful and amazing as they were, they needed her.
But she wasn’t powerful enough. She was just a girl. Granted, a girl who was surrounded by a strange, soothing darkness, but a girl nonetheless.
More whispers, followed by a rumble that seemed to coat her heart. It told her all she had to do was ask, and she would receive. She just needed to reach out and…
She moved her arms, unsure of what she was grasping for, but she soon received her answer as all the shadows being cast by the nearly blinding golden light flooded to her, making her feel that much calmer. That much safer.
That much more powerful.
It built and built, rushing up inside of her, filling her, pouring out of her mouth and fingertips only to go into the mass below her. And as the seconds passed, the shape grew bigger and more defined, until she was sitting right on top of a dragon made of shadows.
“Free them,” she ordered, her voice coming from somewhere primal and terrifying within her.
The form she was perched on let out a soul-shrinking bellow, blasting right into the center of the gold. Bits of the shining brilliance were blasted into the air, shooting far beyond her perception, and a shriek sounded from the rest of the cloud.
No! What are you doing!?
“Ukrah! Stop!”
She paid those voices no mind, reaching out and grasping more power. She needed to free all those shapes. They wanted her t
o! They—
“E Abierut!”
Like someone snuffing out a candle, or taking their last breath, everything vanished in a flash. Ukrah found herself staring at the ceiling, very much there and not shattered into a thousand pieces.
Her stomach churned and she rolled onto her side, gagging harshly. She was laying on the floor next to the table, which had been cracked in two. But other than that, there was no sign of everything she had seen.
…had…had that all been in her head?
“…what happened?” she asked blearily, her head spinning.
She was surprised when the God-Woman knelt right next to her, taking the young girl’s face in her hands and looking her over. “You tell me. I could feel that something was happening. But I couldn’t see any of it.”
“Athar.” It was the governess who spoke next, standing in the doorway with an ashen pallor to her face. “Take this girl to her bed and see to her. Feed her, make sure she drinks. Eist? I need to talk to you.”
“I’d rather stay—”
“Now, Eist. That wasn’t a question.”
“Geez, make a woman a governor and suddenly she thinks she can order you around.” Dille made a frustrated sound, and the God-Woman relented. “Fine, fine. We can go to my war-room. Goodness knows we barely use it nowadays.”
Ukrah didn’t want to be picked up. She wanted to stay and talk about what happened and how different their perspective was than hers. But her head was still spinning, and her tongue was thick in her mouth.
She knew something important had happened, something that would maybe explain everything that was going on, but she didn’t understand it. Surely the head of the witch refugee program or the God-Woman would be able to explain things to her. Give her a reason why everything had happened to her.
Despite her wanting all of that, Athar scooped her up like she was little more than a child. How strong is he?! Without so much as a single question asked, she was carted out of the room and back to Eist’s manor.
It wasn’t exactly a quick journey. They were in the heart of the newly-built grand palace, someplace down several staircases and tucked behind several long halls. Nevertheless, by the time Athar put her in her new bed, he wasn’t even breathless.
“Here, let me get you some food,” he said softly, his voice a pleasant rumble that reminded her of the shadows that had rested under her.
But darkness was bad, wasn’t it? It was where evil and danger lurked, and it needed to be done away with. And yet, when she replayed what had happened in her head, she found no malevolence in the black. Only companionship. Like an old, old friend who had been waiting entirely too long for her to visit again.
She shook her head. None of that made sense. She needed to know what actually happened before she burst.
Athar returned shortly, a slab of toast, a hunk of cheese, and a large canteen all in tow. Despite her previous nausea, Ukrah found herself suddenly ravenously hungry and very much interested in what he was holding.
“Whoa there, take your t-time,” the giant said, laughing slightly. “Don’t want to make yours-s-self sick.”
Ukrah nodded, but she didn’t exactly listen. She wolfed down the food quite quickly, draining most of the canteen until her belly was well and truly full.
When she set it to the side, a bone-deep sort of exhaustion flooded her, her eyelids fluttering slightly. Athar chuckled and was about to say something, when the door burst open.
“Ukrah! You’re back! How was—” Crispin skidded to a stop, his lanky body going through an entertaining series of motions before he came to a full stop. “Is everything alright?”
“She’s just exhausted from th-the test,” Athar said, standing and taking the empty tray with him. “Let’s get her some rest while I rustle up you and I a noon meal, how about th-that?”
Crispin’s bright eyes flitted from the large man to Ukrah, as if he wasn’t sure, but she just motioned for him to go along. Goodness knew the rail-thin boy should eat whenever he felt the urge.
The two had just barely exited when there was a flutter at her window and Tayir came diving in through the curtains. He landed on the table and let out a loud squawk before the words came pouring in.
You are an idiot, you know that? And idiot with absolutely zero sense of survival!
Ukrah narrowed her eyes at him, his declarations coming back to her. “Perhaps I would have a better idea on what to do if you told me things instead of pretending to be a bird.”
What do you mean pretending? Do you see these feathers? These wings? Pretty sure I am a bird.
“Birds don’t speak.”
I’m not speaking.
“But I can hear you!”
Can you, really? Ukrah frowned, unsure of what he was trying to say, and he let out a frustrated sound in her head. Never mind. Look, we came here to protect you and to unlock the power within you, not—
“I don’t want to unlock anything inside of me! You’re the one who’s obsessed with me having some sort of power.”
Oh yes, forgive me for wanting you to succeed. I’m your guardian, after all!
“Guardian? Who gave you the ri—”
He suddenly flew over to the bed, startling her. Hush. I heard something.
“Don’t change the subje—”
They’re talking about you. Come on.
“Who?”
Eist and Dille. Hurry! And keep quiet!
Despite how tired she had just been, Ukrah nodded and slid out of bed. She still had more to talk about with Tayir, but that would have to wait. Hopefully, she might be able to snoop enough to get some answers.
She slipped out of her room, Tayir on her shoulder, peering each way to see if Cassinda or Athar or anyone else was around to stop her. When the view seemed clear, she crept down the hall to where Tayir pointed with one of his wings.
It was slow going, but eventually, she made it to a staircase leading up. It hadn’t been a part of her manor tour, but she could tell by the wear on it that it was used regularly enough. Or at least it once had been. Each step seemed to make a noise as she ascended, but no one came flying out of the wings to stop her.
After a few more tense moments, she made it onto a landing. There was another large balcony that led outside, with soft, translucent curtains billowing in the wind. Ukrah didn’t know what they did in the infamous ‘winters’ she had heard so much about, but she supposed that particular question didn’t matter at the moment.
No, her focus was entirely on the door to her left, where she could barely make out voices coming from the other side.
“—what happened. You’re cut off from magic, Eist.”
“Yes, I am acutely aware of that fact. You want to tell me something I don’t know?”
“I don’t understand why you’re not taking this seriously! I’m telling you, that girl channeled something ancient in there. Something dangerous and powerful that we’re not supposed to touch.”
“She was just lying there, Dille. I know that some things look different on the outside than what might be happening on the inside, but I’m familiar with world-ending things. That wasn’t it.”
“Not world ending, maybe, but it was definitely world changing! Eist, why are you being so stubborn about this!? Is it because she let you feel magic again? Are you willing to risk everything for just a taste of power?”
Ukrah’s stomach flipped. She had heard stories of how the God-Woman and her witch friend were two sides of the same coin, inseparable and powerful together. Women who had lived outside of time. And yet they were just a few feet away from her, arguing because of her.
That made something ugly rise within Ukrah. Tinged with guilt and responsibility. Was it now her destiny to sow conflict wherever she went?
“What are you trying to say, Dille?”
“I’m saying that you’re not looking at this with a clear head, Eist. She’s dangerous.”
“And we aren’t?”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“By the old spirits, Eist, you’re being ridiculous! Look, you basically caused our world to be born anew. You got rid of the Blight. You absorbed the Three and returned all the magic from the veil. Yes, things are flourishing, yes, dragons are getting bigger and more powerful. But there are bound to be growing pains.”
“And you think that girl is one of them?”
“For the lack of a better metaphor, yes. I do.”
“So, I’m guessing you won’t teach her then?” Eist’s voice was so sharp it could cut air.
“I will teach her control, how to hide herself, things to survive, but no more than that. She does not need to be any more powerful. If it weren’t so dangerous for magic folk at this time, I would seal whatever fuels her magic inside of her so she could never touch it again.”
“You’d do that? Just go into someone’s soul and rip away what’s meant just for them?” Ukrah didn’t think it was possible, but there was so much heat and edge to the God-Woman’s voice that she was surprised the door didn’t burst into flames right then and there. “After seeing what that’s done to me ever since that day?”
“Look, I’m sorry that when you banished the Blight you seemed to also banish away whatever gave you power, but this is entirely different. I’m telling you: we could be seeing the birth of the next great threat to our world. There’s a darkness in her, one that’s very, very old and very, very patient. You know how evil loves a recently vacated spot.”
“She’s just a child.”
“And weren’t you when the Blight almost killed you the first time? Or even when Fior chose you out of everyone?”
Ukrah could feel her throat tightening while her heart thundered in her ears. She was…bad? Evil? She had come all the way to the God-Woman to prevent herself from being anything like that, but apparently, it was too late.
How had it all happened?
“Look, I know it’s hard, but nature doesn’t care about how young or how able someone is. I’ve made my decision, Eist. I need you to respect that.”
Ukrah knew the conversation was winding down, so she forced herself to creep away as quietly as she could. It wasn’t easy, considering that tears were burning her eyes and she wanted to make frustrated sounds of desperation, but somehow, she made it back to her room without detection.
