by Sable Sylvan
“Sounds like you need a buddy to brainstorm with,” said Pandora.
“Like one of you two?” asked Angelica.
“Unfortunately, we’re busy helping out our fathers with their seasonal work,” said Jack.
“Do you have any friends in town other than Avery?” asked Pandora. “Anyone who might want to help you out?”
“Yesterday, a reindeer shifter defended me from a pervert polar bear,” said Angelica.
“Call him up,” said Pandora. “I’m sure he’d love to come and save you again.”
“That’s the thing,” said Angelica. “I never got his name or number. He ran away in his shift before I could get an answer.”
“That’s the only person you have in mind, the reindeer shifter?” asked Jack.
“Well, there’s one person I could ask, but I don’t want to,” admitted Angelica. “We grew up together. Never got along. Turns out we’re both working on The Wreath this winter. His name’s Ryan, and he’s a jerk.”
“Is he someone you see regularly?” asked Pandora.
“Yeah,” said Angelica lamely. “I guess I could ask him for help. After all…he said he’d do anything for a date with me. He’s cute. Don’t get me wrong. He’s just a bad boy, to the core, and I don’t want to get my heart broken again.”
“Sounds like a plan,” said Pandora, getting up from her chair. “Good luck, Angelica. I’m really looking forward to seeing what you come up with.”
Angelica went back to brainstorming ideas for the Christmas party. Maybe she could do an English Christmas. Or Irish Christmas. Or some sort of highly cultural Christmas. She was lost in thought and didn’t notice Ryan walking into the coffee shop. She didn’t see the shirtless man ordering his regular coffee. She didn’t even notice him walking to her table.
“Is this seat taken?” asked Ryan, watching the BBW who seemed to be lost in thought, writing short phrases down on a notepad.
“Oh, hello, Ryan,” said Angelica. “Yeah.”
“Yeah, it’s taken?” asked Ryan, confused.
“Yeah, you can sit there,” corrected Angelica. “Sorry. I just…it’s nothing. Never mind.”
“Tell me,” said Ryan. “I want to know.”
“You do?” asked Angelica.
Angelica had been ready to play the date card, to get Ryan to help her by dangling the date as a carrot in front of the jackass with a tight ass. Maybe Angelica wouldn’t have to trade a date with Ryan for some much-needed help.
“Look, you and I got off on the wrong paw this winter,” said Ryan. “You don’t want to date me. I get that. From now on, I won’t hit on you. I swear. It gets boring on The Wreath, so if something interesting’s happening, I want to know.”
“Fine,” said Angelica. “I’m coming up with a theme for the menu of the Christmas office party.”
“Easy,” said Ryan. “Just make what you usually make. Christmas is already a theme. You don’t need another theme.”
“Can’t,” said Angelica. “That’s the problem. The theme has to be unique. It has to be something the boss man hasn’t seen before.”
“Ah, Santana,” said Ryan. “Mysterious guy. Never met him myself, and Krampus doesn’t say anything about him.”
“How do you please someone you’ve never met?” asked Angelica.
“You need to figure out what they’re really asking for,” said Ryan.
“You do?” asked Angelica.
“It’s no secret I danced at Bear Buns,” said Ryan. “If somebody asked to get private time in a room with some polars, I knew that meant what they really wanted was a big bear, so if the polars were busy, I could suggest another option to them, like some grizzlies. If somebody wanted koalas, but they were taken, and I got a feeling they wanted cuddly bears, I’d send them to the cinnamon bears. People constantly talk. It’s not different from animals roaring. They all just want to make noise. You have to figure out the reason they want to make the noise at all. A lot of the time, people don’t really mean what they say.”
“Ryan,” said a voice from the back. “Grab the goods. Time to head back.”
“That’s my boss man,” said Ryan. “I’ll think of ideas for you, and when I come back tomorrow, we can go over them, see if you like any, see if any are unique. Okay?”
“Okay,” answered Angelica.
Ryan stood up and his head brushed against something. He looked up.
“Oh,” said Ryan, looking at the bundle of greenery and down to Angelica and back at the greenery. “Angelica, if you wanted to kiss me so badly, you could’ve just asked for a smooch.”
“What are you talking about?” asked Angelica with a frown.
“You hung this up, didn’t you?” asked Ryan.
“No,” said Angelica, crossing her arms. “What is that? Some kind of air freshener?”
“You really have no idea what this is?” asked Ryan, pointing to the bundle, which had a bunch of glossy green leaves and glossy whitish-green berries. “Angelica, this…is mistletoe.”
“Pssh – no, it’s not,” insisted Angelica. “Mistletoe has red berries.”
“It most certainly does not,” argued Ryan, before shouting. “Krampus!”
“What is it, boy,?” shouted Krampus, peeking his head out of the bakery.
Avery peeked her head out and shouted, “Don’t shout in the bakery!”
“What is this plant?” asked Ryan.
“Mistletoe – and if you don’t recognize it, you’re dafter than I thought,” grumbled Krampus.
“Shit,” cursed Angelica. “Well, I don’t believe in that Christmas nonsense anyway.”
“You’re not superstitious?” asked Ryan. “Aren’t you worried you’ll have bad luck if you don’t kiss me underneath the mistletoe?”
“What bad luck?” asked Angelica.
“In my experience, if you don’t follow tradition…you might get bad luck,” said Ryan.
That’s putting it lightly, grumbled Dancer.
“Ugh,” said Angelica, standing up, moving over to Ryan, and crossing her arms. “I don’t believe in Christmas magic…but I don’t mess with Luck. Alright. Fine. One kiss.”
“Of course,” said Ryan. “Just one kiss.”
“On the cheek,” insisted Angelica.
“Agreed,” said Ryan.
Angelica and Ryan closed their eyes. Angelica aimed for Ryan’s left cheek. Ryan aimed for Angelica’s right cheek. Their mouths met in the middle, their noses clumsily bashing as their lips met. Angelica pressed her lips against Ryan as Ryan’s hands instinctively went to her curves, his shifter instincts telling him to protect her when she was at her most vulnerable. Ryan took Angelica’s lower lip into his mouth and nibbled it gently, which broke the trance.
Angelica quickly pulled back.
“That was supposed to be a kiss on the cheek,” said Angelica with a frown.
“I went in to try and kiss your cheek!” insisted Ryan, poking Angelica’s right cheek. Angelica batted his hand away and poked Ryan in on the left cheek.
“Well, I was aiming for that cheek, and – oh. I see. We just met in the middle,” said Angelica, rolling her eyes. “Well, whatever. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Ryan!” shouted Krampus. “I said it’s time to go! Either claim her or get back to work!”
“Don’t shout in my bakery!” shouted Avery.
“I gotta go,” said Ryan. “See you around, Angelica.”
Angelica watched Ryan walk away and thought about what he’d said, about people not really meaning what they’d said. Angelica wondered if she’d really meant what she said, about not wanting to date Ryan. Heck. She’d’ basically said she didn’t want to kiss him! Well, she hadn’t – but now that they’d accidentally smooched, she found herself wanting more. Was it too late to date the stripper bad boy?
Chapter Six
December 18th, 2008
“Good,” said Krampus, wrapping the measuring tape around his neck where it turned back into a chain. “You�
�re shaping up nicely.” All afternoon, Krampus had tested Ryan’s physical abilities as a human, and he’d passed every last test. It was finally time for Ryan to move on to the next step of his training.
“I feel like a goose being fattened for slaughter,” said Ryan.
“Don’t be silly,” said Krampus. “I didn’t exactly force feed your pastries, now, did I?” Krampus gave Ryan’s thick bicep a squeeze.
Krampus looked at his journal. Ryan couldn’t read Krampus’s writing. A piece of straw fell on the table out of nowhere. Ryan brushed it away.
“You’re ready to start reindeer training,” said Krampus. “I know you used Dancer’s powers once, in town, but a fight against another shifter is nothing compared to The Ride. When it comes to The Ride, you’re battling the elements themselves. Literally.”
“Do you know what ‘literally’ means?” asked Ryan, crossing his arms.
“Santana Claus has an ancient rivalry with Boreas Winter,” said Krampus.
“Boris?” asked Ryan.
“Boreas,” said Krampus. “Some think of him as the god of winter, of the north wind, of the blizzard, and they aren’t exactly wrong. He’s the leader of the ice elementals.”
“And they have beef with Christmas?” asked Ryan.
“Not exactly,” said Krampus. “You’re thinking of things in black and white, as good and evil. While the two are opposed, it’s by circumstance, not principle.”
“If they don’t have beef, what’s the problem?” asked Ryan.
“The ice elementals are tasked with helping keep this planet’s elemental cycles going,” said Krampus. “Some are hidden, some are obvious, and all are ancient. They’re the reason we have snow and blizzards.”
“What’s Christmas without a little snow?” asked Ryan.
“A little is one thing, but the elementals, well, they dish out a lot,” said Krampus. “It makes The Ride harder, especially for takeoff and landing. After all, Christmas isn’t technically held in the winter.”
“It’s not?” asked Ryan.
“Did you never take environmental science?” asked Krampus. “In our hemisphere, it’s winter during Christmas, but in places like Australia, it’s summer. But, every year, Boreas has his elementals whip up a storm around The North Pole. He says it’s part of their ancient magic, that they have to do it. Santana lets them, but doesn’t like it.”
“They’re just two guys, trying to do their job,” said Ryan. “Why doesn’t Santana find a way to bend the rules?”
“He may be the patron saint of bad boys, but he’s no rulebreaker,” said Krampus. “He’s no demon. Leave the breaking of the laws of the physical realm to my kind. Focus on your job. Focus on preparing for The Ride.”
“If I’m fit, what other preparations do we have left?” asked Ryan. “I just need to maintain my bulk.”
“You’ve got to learn to use your shift,” said Krampus. “It’s time for you to start flying laps.”
“Flying laps?” asked Ryan.
Krampus took his chain off his neck and tossed it in the air. The chain hovered and then came down on the ground around Krampus and Ryan, in a perfect circle in front of them The chain circle filled with flames and showed a scene. Ryan wasn’t sure what he was looking at. It seemed like there was a candy cane on the other side of the door.
“Come on,” said Krampus, pushing Ryan forward so Ryan would take a step into the portal. “You’ll see what I mean.”
Ryan walked through the portal as easily as he could’ve walked through an open door. The other side of the portal was chillier than the cold cabin at Camp Kringle. The candy cane was real. It was real big. The candy cane was topped with a giant red gumdrop. Behind the candy cane was an enormous building. It looked like a military defense contractor’s headquarters.
“What is that thing?” asked Ryan. “Where are we?”
“Welcome to Santana’s Workshop,” said Krampus. “Christmas magic keeps this place hidden from prying eyes. You must be brought here by one of Santana’s associates if you want to find the site at all. That’s the candy cane. On The Ride, you can use it to figure out how close you are to the tarmac, which is on the other side of this building.
“Shouldn’t it be on the tarmac?” asked Ryan.
“That marks the center of The North Pole,” said Krampus. “Wasn’t room to put it anywhere else. Don’t worry. There are lights on the tarmac too. That’s just the beacon that’s meant to guide you back here.”
Krampus led Ryan through Santana’s Workshop, past the hustle and bustle of pointed eared beings that looked a lot like humans. Ryan swore he thought he saw Avery in their numbers, but he blinked, and she was gone. Krampus led Ryan toward the back of the workshop, to a long building near the tarmac. The building had a high ceiling. Along the walls, there were various tools. The floor was made of dirt padded like moss, unlike the smooth stone floors found inside Santana’s Workshop.
“What is this place?” asked Ryan.
“You could call this the armory, where we’ll gear you up, so you can tackle the storm,” said Krampus. “Shift.”
Ryan didn’t bother disrobing. The last time he’d shifted into Dancer, his clothing hadn’t come off. His clothing was still there when he turned back into a human. He let Dancer take over his body. Ryan felt himself grow bigger. His arms turned into a second pair of legs and hit the ground hooves first. He was covered in a coat of warm brown and white fur, with speckles of black in the mix. Large, bony antlers, with no trace of velvet, sprouted from his head.
Ryan realized why ‘the armory’ was so vast and so tall. It had to fit reindeer shifters, eight of them.
“Good,” said Krampus, coming back to Ryan with a leather harness made of green and red leather. “Now. I’m going to slip this on you. Understand?”
“Yes,” said Ryan, but all that came out was something that sounded like a boar trying to imitate a goose.
“Great,” said Krampus.
“You could understand me?” asked Ryan, in his reindeer voice.
“You don’t work for Santana frikkin’ Claus for…well, as long as I have, without picking up reindeer,” said Krampus.
Krampus finished cinching the heavy but surprisingly supple and comfortable well-worn harness over Ryan’s body.
“This harness will enable you to pull Santana’s sleigh,” said Krampus. “It’s nothing like driving the car. Santana’s the driver. You’re the engine. You’ve heard of horsepower. Well, reindeer power is similar. We need to make sure you can supply one full unit of reindeer power to the sleigh, hopefully, more. You never know if an accident might happen.”
“Who else is pulling the sleigh?” asked Ryan.
“Seven ice elementals who’ve been trained down South,” said Krampus.
“Like Mississippi?” asked Ryan. The word ‘Mississippi’ came out as a series of goofy sounds, consisting of a grunt and three wheezes.
“First off, there’s nothing funnier than hearing a reindeer try to say ‘Mississippi,’” said Krampus. “Second of all, think further South.”
“Mexico?” asked Ryan, knitting together his reindeer’s brow muscles.
“Further South,” said Krampus. “Past Argentina.”
“Antarctica?” asked Ryan.
“Bingo. Other acceptable answers include ‘The South Pole’ and ‘Boreas’ Buttcrack.’ Antarctica’s fine too,” said Krampus. “I don’t suggest visiting. The name means ‘opposite of Arctic’, Arctic meaning ‘here be bears,’ so Antarctica means, ‘opposite of the place where you find the bears.’ There’s a reason bears didn’t go there. Trust me. Seals are a Hell of a lot tastier than penguins. Speaking of which, the elementals from down there, they’re all penguins. So we gotta watch the jokes about them being bird-brained…even if it’s true. This year’s flock’s all brawn, no brain, but they can fly like the wind. Guess that’s fitting, given they’re led by a hybrid ice and wind elemental.”
“A hybrid?” asked Ryan.
“
Don’t worry about it,” said Krampus. “Boreas is in charge of his men, err, elementals. You’re my only ward. You get the hands-on treatment a bad boy like you needs. Discipline.”
“Alright, alright,” said Ryan. “So why are we up here instead of at The Wreath?”
“Come on,” said Krampus. “You’ll see.”
Krampus led Ryan out of ‘the armory,’ formally called The Stable, as Ryan learned from a sign hanging on the other side of the building. They were on the tarmac, which was made of rough blacktop, covered in a layer of ever-melting snow.
“What sort of magic keeps the tarmac warm?” asked Ryan.
“That’s not magic,” said Krampus with a laugh. “That’s The Workshop.”
“The Workshop? I thought that was The Workshop,” said Ryan, nodding over to the giant glass building.
“That’s just the tip,” said Krampus. “The rest is nestled deep in The North Pole, under the ice. The ice on the tarmac acts as a heat sink. The heat from the servers underneath the tarmac heats up the snow, melting it away, but it evaporates, goes back up into the air, and Nature does her job.”
“Nature or the ice elementals?” asked Ryan.
“Fine, maybe the elementals aren’t good for nothing magical weirdoes,” said Krampus. “Don’t let Santana hear you or me say that. Look. We’ve got company.”
Ryan looked up in the air. He couldn’t see anything, but he could hear something.
“All I hear is the whistling of the wind,” said Ryan.
“Exactly,” said Krampus. “The wind. He’s arriving.”
Ryan looked. The wind whipped around the tarmac. A tornado of ice appeared and out of it stepped a man, dressed in a blue velvet coat with white fur trim, wearing plain dark jeans and walking barefoot. Ryan couldn’t tell the man’s age. He looked old and young at the same time. He had a young man’s body and face, but the look of someone who had seen centuries pass by.
